Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Factory Denied Persenus' Robe

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PERSENUS

Qoritottoi..... Ashaottoi....


npJUMGS.png
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: To create armor for the armorless Persenus
  • Image Source: None
  • Canon Link: None
  • Permissions: None
  • Primary Source: None
PRODUCTION INFORMATION
  • Manufacturer: Persenus
  • Affiliation: Persenus
  • Model: N/A
  • Modularity: N/A
  • Production: Unique
  • Material: Jedi Robe
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
  • Classification: Robes
  • Weight: Weightless
  • Resistances:
    • Energy: Extreme
    • Kinetic: Extreme
    • Lightsabers: Extreme
    • Ion/EMP: None
    • Pressure: None
    • Acids/Corrosives: Average
    • Sonic: None
    • Weaponized Heat: Average
    • Weaponized Cold: Low
    • Radiation: None
    • The Force: Extreme
    • Electrical: Very High
SPECIAL FEATURES
  • Alchemical Imbuements allow the robes to diffuse kinetic energy on impact, making slugthrowers, punches, and vibroblades, and other such weapons, far less effective. (Explaining Extreme Rating)
  • Alchemical Imbuements diffuse energy weapons making Blasters and Disruptors far less effective. (Explaining Extreme Rating)
  • Alchemical Imbuements diffuse Lightsaber strikes and other such weaponry, making them far less effective. (Explaining Extreme Rating)
  • Alchemical Imbuements protect Persenus from the uses of the Force upon him, making him far harder to affect physically and mentally through the Force, making it so that even Masters of the respective areas will have a hard time affecting him. (Explaining Extreme Rating)
  • Alchemical Imbuements regarding energy weapons also affect electrical energies from affecting him as well. (Electrical Rating)
  • The robes gives the wearer enhanced endurance and virility both in the Force and Physically, allowing him to survive more hits as well as use the Force more liberally.
  • The robes are imbued with the Force Ability known as Inertia and allows the user to shift and enhance their inertia accordingly to allow them to do impossible feats, control their descent and diffuse the possibly damaging effects of their fall, increase their speed of their movements or the power behind their attacks.
  • The robes, when damaged, will gradually regenerate.
STRENGTHS
  • Gives the wearer an extreme amount of protection against conventional damaging attacks, making vibroblades and blasters far less effective against him. This also gives him an edge against his fellow Force-Users with the amount of protection he has against the Lightsabers and the Force, as well as a moderate amount of protection from electricity so the use of Force Lightning and Electric Judgement will be doubly less effective due to the dampening of Force Powers on him as well.
  • Persenus' offensive ability is also increased, capable of using the Force more and has greater physical prowess to boot.
WEAKNESSES
  • More unconventional types of damage will completely pass and rip through the robes.
  • While he may be protected against kinetic damage, pressures will still effect him. While punches against the robes will be diffused, he can still be crushed against something.
  • This also protects Persenus against more positive uses of the Force, such as Force Healing or Battlemind.
DESCRIPTION
The Jedi Robes Persenus had stolen are mostly for hiding his tattoos. Due to his limited funds, he finds that he is unable to afford any other kind of armor, forcing him to use what he has on hand once more.
 

Krass Wyms

Jedi Tech Division
Factory Judge
PERSENUS PERSENUS

Oh boy where to start lets see. First impressions is this should be stamped with a denied on concept. Wholly overpowered, little to no balance and is just begging to be reported once it is used in a thread. Balancing it is going to gut this as self repairing, near immunity to all damage aside from situational, force enhancing and physically enhancing. With the minimal in terms of drawbacks.

So we are going to break this into sections because there is a lot.

SECTION 1:

  • Manufacturer: Persenus
  • Affiliation: Persenus

The Jedi Robes Persenus had stolen are mostly for hiding his tattoos. Due to his limited funds, he finds that he is unable to afford any other kind of armor, forcing him to use what he has on hand once more.

So he has stolen these robes but he also created them. The link to your character bio will need to be included regardless but please clarify this.

Material: Jedi Robe

This is not a real material please use one from canon be it legends, Nu or on Chaos. Note that materials that are alchemically enhanced as you have in the special features would be stronger yes but also heavier.

Weight: Weightless

If this is alchemically enhanced then it would have weight, most materials would have weight. If there is somethign special about this material then it should be in the special features and a strength.

SECTION 2:

  • Resistances:
    • Energy: Extreme
    • Kinetic: Extreme
    • Lightsabers: Extreme
    • Ion/EMP: None
    • Pressure: None
    • Acids/Corrosives: Average
    • Sonic: None
    • Weaponized Heat: Average
    • Weaponized Cold: Low
    • Radiation: None
    • The Force: Extreme
    • Electrical: Very High

Your balancing might be there but you have thrown in a lot to min max it. The negatives are largely situational while the benefit of being extremely protected against most of the conventional forms of damage or attack are there. With the additional benefit of it enhancing you the wearer so you could shrug off damage if it came.

To quote LT-137 LT-137 on my own submission
In addition to that, your extreme kinetic rating, alongside the corresponding weakness, doesn't really jive. There's quite the power gap when it comes to heavy slugthrowers and matukai-styled punches - to mass-drivers. We're talking heavy pistols, force-enhanced punches to railguns here - all of which comprise a significant portion of kinetic weaponry.

That was for one thing but it can apply to a lot of your ratings now. You have min/maxed them to have things that are more situational so you can have the advantage over the practical and conventional. Your ratings and weight will need to be reworked. With the multitude you have I will give one extreme and two very high and the rest can be what you want.

SECTION 3:

  • Alchemical Imbuements allow the robes to diffuse kinetic energy on impact, making slugthrowers, punches, and vibroblades, and other such weapons, far less effective. (Explaining Extreme Rating)
  • Alchemical Imbuements diffuse energy weapons making Blasters and Disruptors far less effective. (Explaining Extreme Rating)
  • Alchemical Imbuements diffuse Lightsaber strikes and other such weaponry, making them far less effective. (Explaining Extreme Rating)
  • Alchemical Imbuements protect Persenus from the uses of the Force upon him, making him far harder to affect physically and mentally through the Force, making it so that even Masters of the respective areas will have a hard time affecting him. (Explaining Extreme Rating)

As the extreme ratings will be changed these will need to be as well. being immune practically to everything can almost make one on par with a god.

The robes gives the wearer enhanced endurance and virility both in the Force and Physically, allowing him to survive more hits as well as use the Force more liberally.

Enhancement both mentally and physically is a hard sell. There is very little here showing how these robes became so powerful for being something just found randomly. It can be one or the other for this.

The robes are imbued with the Force Ability known as Inertia and allows the user to shift and enhance their inertia accordingly to allow them to do impossible feats, control their descent and diffuse the possibly damaging effects of their fall, increase their speed of their movements or the power behind their attacks.

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Checking three main sources from the book of the sith, wookieepedia article and the jedi manual source book thanks to gir. There is no mention of it making you stronger. it can increase with a roll your movement speed or decrease it. As before we don't normally do dice rolls so mechanics such as that are not needed with no metric to measure them. Inertia generally requires ample movement and speed so you have something to shift and while dduels can be fast your movement aside from forms like Ateru is rarely constantly in motion to build it up. Running at the opponent could give some surprises yes but once you close that distance you would have to be moving fast to keep it going.

The robes, when damaged, will gradually regenerate.

There is no material as part of the robe that would merit this effect nor is there a general idea of how long it will take. Gradually could still be a sentence in a post or five posts.

SECTION 4:

  • Gives the wearer an extreme amount of protection against conventional damaging attacks, making vibroblades and blasters far less effective against him. This also gives him an edge against his fellow Force-Users with the amount of protection he has against the Lightsabers and the Force, as well as a moderate amount of protection from electricity so the use of Force Lightning and Electric Judgement will be doubly less effective due to the dampening of Force Powers on him as well.
  • Persenus' offensive ability is also increased, capable of using the Force more and has greater physical prowess to boot.

These strengths

  • More unconventional types of damage will completely pass and rip through the robes.
  • While he may be protected against kinetic damage, pressures will still effect him. While punches against the robes will be diffused, he can still be crushed against something.
  • This also protects Persenus against more positive uses of the Force, such as Force Healing or Battlemind.

To these weaknesses are just not close to being balanced. Unconventional weapons are generally a surprise. Only being vulnerable to these when others might not have a means to match it is vastly unfair and something that would be reported. So to prevent that drama the weaknesses will need to be balanced. For their level of power three substantial weaknesses per strength there and each additional strength if you add more.

  • This also protects Persenus against more positive uses of the Force, such as Force Healing or Battlemind.

Given that the robes are self repairing and already augment the wearer being unable to have battlemind is... a neat trick. You have it active at all times already.

SECTION 5:

The Jedi Robes Persenus had stolen are mostly for hiding his tattoos. Due to his limited funds, he finds that he is unable to afford any other kind of armor, forcing him to use what he has on hand once more.

This will also need to be addressed as you say your character made it but also stole it. The description doesn't match the level of strengths or utility it has. If these were laying around a jedi master would need to have them secured or the order should be producing them for their jedi.

And that is everything from the first look over. Things are heavy and will need to be addressed and everything will need to be addressed before the second round. Mention me when you have done the edits.
 

PERSENUS

Qoritottoi..... Ashaottoi....
Yeah, I made this in a hurry and I was kinda in a bit of a weird mindset then. Can this please be denied, I'll remake it on a later date with the things you've mentioned in mind.
 
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