Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Penance

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The gentle patter of rain kept Preliat awake. He had to sleep with the lights on. Truth be told, the total darkness that comforted most to lull to sleep, terrified him. It was early in the evening, and the day had been eventful- at least for Preliat. He had scoured the Silver Jedi's volumes of texts, gaining knowledge on a multitude of things he never would have known had he not been here. He became familiar with the Jedi code- and although he lacked a deep understanding of it, he mostly knew what it meant.

Preliat's eyes flickered open. He checked his chronometer, before rising to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. He asked [member="Valae Kitra"], the Grandmaster to meet him here. He had a number of questions regarding the Jedi, and he hoped to have a more genuine conversation with the Jedi.

Six years ago, if you had told Preliat Mantis that he'd be not only a guest of the Silver Jedi, but a welcome one at that- he'd have been likely to hit you in the throat. Now, he regretted his time being a bitter, angry man and spiteful to the Jedi. He simply lacked understanding, as many of his people did. He ran a hand through his hair, standing up and walking to the sink in the other room. He stared at his reflection, and pulled a gray cotton shirt over his frame. The scars on his chest were hefty- and painful to look at.

He walked, with the slight gaunt that he had- thanks to his artificial leg. Thanks to the exercise shorts he wore freely around the Silver Jedi temple, it was free for all to see. While prosthetic were common for the Mandalorians- most of whom, who's sole profession in the galaxy was war, or preparing, or providing for it in some capacity, for other groups of people, such as peaceful scholars and monks like the Jedi, it was an oddity at the very least.

Preliat answered the questions about it politely. What he didn't know, is that they were asking him when he walked around the temple because of what they felt from it. From him. The alchemized metal was touched by the dark side, and the leg was powered not only by rotors, motors and cybernetics- but by the dark side itself. It fed off of him, poisoning him, without his knowledge. It was a flaw that his wife had not foreseen. How could she have? Preliat and Aditya were not touched by the force, how were they to know what the force would do to him, much less the dark side?

Preliat walked to the window, opening the blinds to the fading light of the day. He turned his head as the door opened, and in stepped the Jedi Master. On habit, his eyes darted to the space near his bed. It's where he kept his Beskad. But he left that blade back on Mandalore, in the snow-covered ash of the Cold Iron City- where he put Jasper Ordo in the ground. Where he put the Rancor himself down. He remembered how hard that fight was- but Preliat did not think on the physicality. He thought on the weight of his actions, far too late. The guilt was tearing him apart, much more than the older wounds his soul had endured. His wife had been the one to sew shut the cuts of his past, planting a seed of hope. His daughter was to be the solidification of an idea of happiness and tranquility, and for a time, it was.

But like most happiness in his life, it was fleeting and temporary.

"Master Jedi. Thank you for coming. I have a....plethora of questions. Thank you for making the time to see me- I can't imagine the burden of running a temple."

He turned to face the Jedi Grandmaster, and as he learned- bowed as the Jedi did. He sat on the edge of his bed and invited her to sit on the couch, adjacent to the bed. He rubbed his hands together, looking over his shoulder to the pouring rain.

"I would start by asking about the Jedi as a whole- I wanted to know....why there are currently so many sects of Jedi, and what sets them apart from each other. I know much about the Silver Jedi from my time here, but I don't know much about the other sects in the galaxy. I would hope that you could enlighten me."




 
Silver Rest had certainly hosted its share of guests and diplomats from other worlds, but never before had a Mandalorian stayed for any extended amount of time. It was a learning experience, Valae mused silently as she left the solitude of her office. She had left their visitor to browse their archives earlier that day, and was now on her way to follow up with him. No doubt he would have further questions, and she didn’t want to keep him pondering all the night long.

As she reached the doors, she looked out into the rainy evening that waited outside. Pulling her hood and her robe tightly around her, she stepped out into the cool air. It was a short walk across the courtyard and to the guest quarters, her boots splashed lightly in the puddles of rain that had formed on the pavement. Making her way to the room assigned to Preliat, she shook the rain from her woolen robe.

After setting a knock on the door, she entered with a quiet smile and a simple greeting of “good evening,” and a polite bow. Valae nodded and moved to the couch to have a seat.“Not a problem, Preliat. I’m more than happy to speak with you. After all, I don’t run the temple alone – I have lots of help.” She chuckled in a good-natured way.

As a moment of silence slipped between them, she watched the pensive expression on the man’s face. Folding her hands in her lap, she listened as Preliat voiced his question about the different sects of Jedi.

“Indeed it does seem rather complicated at times,” She said with a nod, and then cradled her chin as she thought about how to respond. “Well, the largest difference is that the Order of the Silver Jedi does not answer to a government power – nor are we a government ourselves.” It was a common misconception that the Silver Jedi ruled over the worlds in their influence. “See, we take pride in letting our worlds continue to rule as they see fit… but we’re always here to lend a helping hand.”

“For example, the New Jedi Order may answer to the government of the Galactic Alliance, but they also serve the light – that’s how we’re bound together.” She paused for a brief moment, “Differing ideals often splinter groups.” It was a simple fact. “Here we put a lot of focus on building a community – we’re not outright militant, nor are we Sith hunters… but we will defend ourselves or allies, if the need arises.”

[member="Preliat Mantis"]
 
She was different than Preliat had envisioned, especially in private. It did not go unnoticed that she saw the look on his face. He knew all too well how people looked at him when he had his moments. Jedi could not read his mind- but as he understood from his time at Silver Rest, they could feel his emotions and sense him.

A Jedi there told him she felt a sea in him, a sea of emotional turmoil. It dawned on him how far his anger had consumed him. How far gone he was.

"Had the Sith been hunted to extinction the galaxy would be far better off for it." He said bluntly.

"My people were consumed by a similar idea. The rumors and stories are unfortunately true. The Death Watch has won on Mandalore..and many of my people, my friends paid the price. For most, it was the ultimate."

He sat in solemn silence for a few minutes, collecting himself. He was on the verge of tears, but collected himself after a moment and continued.

"Could you explain to me the Sith? I only know of the dark side of the force and what they have done, but never have I known truly why they do what they do."

For as much as the Sith been involved in his life, he understood very little about them. Valae, among many redeeming qualities, was a honest woman and would give him a honest answer.

[member="Valae Kitra"]
 
Listening as Preliat offered a rather blunt comment about the Sith, Valae’s eyes shifted momentarily to the floor. Perhaps he was right; perhaps this galaxy would be better off without the presence of such darkness. However, she wasn’t one that resorted to violence to solve problems. She sincerely hoped that someday there would be balance. But she was not so naïve to think that hope would be enough.

She remained quiet as Preliat continued, gaze softening slightly as she listened. Truth be told, she knew little about the Death Watch. The fighting within the Mandalorian Clans was foreign to her, just as Jedi life was to her new friend. As Preliat questioned about the Sith, her brow furrowed just so.

“To be truthful, I’m still learning about the Sith myself.” She said with a small nod. Before leaving Voss, she’d had an interesting discussion with a woman that had an interest in Sith artifacts. She’d come to the conclusion then that she still had much work to do in order to glean insight into the ways of the Sith.

“From what I do understand, they draw from the darkside by way of their emotions, feeding off anger, hate, and passion. They let their hunger for power consume them. To me, it seems that they turn to violence and chaos because…” She paused, unsure how to phrase it. “they are lost.”

Of course, there were likely some that would laugh in her face for saying so.

“But it’s not to say that some cannot be redeemed. It’s rare, but I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

[member="Preliat Mantis"]
 
Anger. Rage. Sadness. Grief. These were things that Preliat knew all too well. That he was far too familiar with.

"A long time ago, I was a part of the army of light. We were against the Sith at a time when they seemed impossible to stop. The Republic was weak, or occupied. I saw what the Sith did to those people. They are evil incarnate. They took my life from me." He sat in silence, sitting on the couch next to her finally. The only sound between them was the rain hitting the window.

After a moment, he leaned his head forward and rolled his hands through his hair.

"The Sith I have met were evil, abominable people.. They took my youth. My leg. My innocence. I remember the Dark Harvest more than most. The madness of Akala, all the wars following-" Preliat, for the first time in years- broke down. He tightened the grip on his head, gentle, painful sobs coming from a broken man.

He did this for a while, before standing and adjusting his hair.

"The Jedi and the Sith are no longer total mysteries to me..and I feel as though you have several questions regarding my people that many do not ask." He walked to the window, staring out into the rainy world beyond.

"Do you think everyone can be redeemed? That everyone deserves it?"
 
Valae listened quietly as Preliat spoke about the past. Indeed she had heard of the Republic, but back then she’d been a simple girl on Tatooine – concerned only with the sources of her next salvage. The galaxy had been very different then. Well, it had been different for her. As she listened to his words, she surmised that things really hadn’t been all that different after all.

Her gaze softened as he spoke about the Sith he’d encountered.

She had heard about the terrible crimes committed by the Sith, she’d seen some of the aftermaths for herself. Even Valae had fallen prey to the belief that all Sith were monsters. However, recent times had changed her way of thinking. The Grandmaster now counted some notable Sith as friends, including the Vicelord of the CIS – something she’d never thought would be possible. And there was also the fact that she loved a man that was once a Sith. People change, this she had learned.

Watching as Preliat broke down, she truly felt for him. But she did not reach out to comfort him, lest she should make him uncomfortable. As he stood and posed her a question, she drew a breath.

“I believe that anyone could be redeemed, in theory.” She answered. “However, it’s complicated. They have to want to change – most don’t.” Valae glanced out the window at the rain for a moment. “Does everyone deserve it? I can’t really be the judge… but if a person is willing to recognize their misdeeds and work to make amends, it’s worth giving them a chance.”

Of course, she had the feeling that Preliat had been asking about himself. But she remained quiet, hoping that her answer would give him a bit of peace. She offered a small smile.

“Now, why don’t you tell me a little something about Mandalorians?” Valae’s smile turned slightly sheepish. “Are there really as many clans as I’ve heard?”

[member="Preliat Mantis"]
 
Preliat, in the span of a few moments, had something that he had not had in many years- almost a decade. A semblance of hope and peace. Valae provided that with just a few words and a comforting smile.

He stood tall, but somehow was low to the ground- after all, the brute was six and a half feet tall. But his predatory mannerisms, the way he walked and looked- had the impression he was constantly leaning forward. It was partially the reason they called him the Wolf.

He turned his head towards the woman when she asked, then looked to the trees at the window. He paced towards them and gestured to one of the planet's many great trees.

"The trees here are much like the Mando'ade. A great base at the center, with many branches. Some branches are smaller, and the tree could survive without them- but all the branches play a part in keeping the tree healthy and alive."

He stopped and looked to the tree.

"The tree of the Mandalorians was recently poisoned- poisoned by its own people. By a madness in which began in itself and consumed itself. I am surprised there is still a Mandalore- and Mandalorians left." He leaned on the window and watched the rain fall.

"My wife was not a fan of the rain. I enjoy the tranquility." He looked back at the Jedi. "If I may ask, are you married or spoken for? I have read in your libraries that it was against the older Jedi codes. Do the other orders frown upon love and the emotional turmoil it puts some people through? Or is it welcomed?" He tapped his don't, then laughed.

"I met my wife when she was drilling for rare minerals. She hired me as a security guard when I was a young man. When we were both young. I beat up a landshio full of pirates to impress her. She was spoken for by a Jedi who just so happened to be a Emperor or something to that degree as well. Somehow, the hockey goon I was made her see something in me."

He looked solemn. The whole galaxy heard his war cry when he came for those who killed his wife. He was honest about his pain, upfront about his demons. Something that was common to the Mandalorians was honesty and openness, other cultures and societies were usually reserved or private about such pains. Mandalorians tended to grieve and share pain. Strength of the pack was the Wolf, and the Wolf is the strength of the pack.

"I loved her more than I loved life itself. I loved her more when we had a daughter." He looked up at the Jedi, and leaned on the window, crossing his arms, waiting her response in kind. He had a plethora of questions, as he was sure the grandmaster did.

[member="Valae Kitra"]
 
Preliat’s talk of the trees on Mandalore brought a smile to her face. It seemed that the trees here on Kashyyyk had the same effect on most everyone that came to visit. Being surrounded by such serene nature was a good thing; this renewed the feeling that relocating to Kashyyyk had been the right choice. Indeed the trees here reminded her very much of Voss, but here they stood much taller and far more plentiful.

Valae’s gaze shifted to the window, where the rain fell steadily outside. Canting her head to the side, she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. “I am spoken for, yes.” She said, unable to stop the fond smile that formed on her face. “It’s true; the Orders of old did speak out against love and forming such bonds.” She thought for a moment. “The emotional turmoil can be dangerous; such strong feelings are attached to relationships. But – I’ve seen it all work out wonderfully. My master was a good example, his wife and family brought him strength.”

And she could easily see that Preliat’s wife was a source of strength for him, even if she was no longer of this world. Valae could sense that the two had shared a very strong bond. Now, it was a sight that was equally heartwarming and sad.

“You have a daughter?” She asked, smile returning. “Tell me about her. Where is she now?”

Valae leaned forward to listen. Though she had no children of her own yet, she was quite fond of the younglings that called Silver Rest home. She could speak about them with pride, just like any parent might. But she suspected it was very different when they were your own, something she hoped to glean from the Mandalorian standing by the window.

[member="Preliat Mantis"]
 
He smiled for a moment, thinking of Yasha. His daughter. The other great woman in his life. He turned and sat back next to the Jedi.

"The only dangerous thing about love is never getting to experience it. Whoever your love is, make sure they know every day just how much you love them. I'd give all of my remaining limbs to be able to tell Aditya I love her simply once more."

He had one artificial limb, what was three more to experience joy again? He leaned his head forward, a poignant and somber expression wrapping across his features.

"My daughter, my cyar'ika... my little girl. She is the victim of machinations of madmen, traitors and the Force. During the Netherworld crisis, my wife and my daughter, for seven long years, fought to survive in the Netherworld. I had assumed they were dead. She is known as the Hell Child of Mandalore, in the same way I am known as the Wolf." He leaned back on the couch, and signed.

"She grew up too fast. Have you heard the name Ember Rekali? He did something to her. Took her into what I now understand is purgatory of the force. Trained her. But while it seemed like moments for me, it was years for her. She suffers from the same curse as all of the Mantis family. Rage and heartache."

Preliat had been told that his anger, his rage was a sea, deep waters of repressed and uncompromising rage. Sadness, heartache shaped the man before the Jedi. There was a strength to Preliat, to be able to endure so much and charge on, with only a glimmer of hope as his guiding light.

"She is her own woman now. She is...happy. She is becoming a leader. She is a strong woman. She will be a great Mandalorian. She has gotten to the point in which she does not need me as often as she used to."

He tapped his foot on the ground.

"She's happy I decided on this journey. And truth be told, I've found more content and peace here than I have in years on Mandalore."

He sighed.

"Perhaps my place is no longer with the Mando'ade."

[member="Valae Kitra"]
 
Shifting to see Preliat as he took a seat once more, Valae listened as he spoke about his daughter. Squinting, Valae searched her memory. Indeed the name Ember Rekali was familiar, but she couldn’t recall ever having met him before. The words he spoke began to paint a picture of a strong young woman – a girl that had lived through more than most could imagine.
She was relieved to hear that Preliat’s daughter had found happiness.

“She sounds like a remarkable young woman,” Valae smiled, and offered a nod to punctuate her point.

It was nice to hear that Preliat had the support of his daughter. Valae’s brows lofted slightly, her chestnut eyes studied the expression of the Mandalorian next to her. Perhaps the Force had a plan after all…

“If you’d like to stay here on Kashyyyk,” She started, “You’re more than welcome here at Silver Rest.”

The halls of their temple were home to a great many, a very diverse mix of people. There were force-users and non-force-users alike; they came from all walks of life. And just like Preliat, many had come to the Silver Jedi in search of purpose. There were many options within the ranks of the Order, but Valae wouldn’t push the matter for now. She wanted the Mandalorian to continue to forge his own path, but she would make sure that he had guidance.

“I do think you could fit in quite nicely here with us. If you are looking to continue your search for knowledge, you could learn along with us. We do have missions of a humanitarian nature from time to time, if you’d ever like to help – it’s a good way to give back.” Truly, she found this sort of work to be therapeutic.

“Of course, I would encourage you to explore your options. You could do so alone, but we have many here that could help. We’re very much a family here.” Her smile widened.

[member="Preliat Mantis"]
 
"Ones children are often beyond compare. If you ever decide to have some of your own, you will undoubtedly feel the same."

Brown eyes hardened at her words. He put his head down in shame.

"I know what I am when people see me with the force, when I am sensed through it. I have been told several times before. Do you feel it?" He turned his body halfway towards her.

"I wish nothing more than to spend my life atoning for what I have done. I do not think you would stand here in this room if you had the full understanding of what I have done in my life."

The waves of guilt came crashing down on him once more.

"The silver Jedi are known for their peacefulness and tranquility. Is this something that Jedi learn or have an innate ability to exhibit such a inner peace? For my short time here, I have found the closest semblance as I could to it."

He pulled one of his long hairs behind his ear.

"What would I have to offer you? Master Kitra- all I know is war, and death. When the Mandalore- the Sole Ruler, called upon horseman to lead the Mandalorians, they selected me as death. Because of what I did to Jasper and the Exiled ones."

He turned his head towards her.

"Do you firmly believe in redemption? Even for people like me?"

[member="Valae Kitra"]
 
Valae canted her head to the side as she listened. Indeed she could feel the stark difference between them, however, she wasn’t uncomfortable. She’d grown to know many different sorts of people during her time here as Grandmaster, an experience that truly had opened her eyes. She remained quiet for a moment, trying to decide exactly how to attempt putting his worries to ease.

“While we have some here that would be cautious about someone like you, on a whole, the SJO is far more tolerant than most.” She nodded.

The crashing of guilt found Valae as well, and for a brief moment she felt it as if it were her own. Taking in a deep breath, she centered herself once more. Her brow furrowed in thought as she shifted her gaze to study Preliat.

“You know, I think you have a lot more to offer than you think. The time you spent with the Maldalorians has given you experience, you’ve learned a great deal more than you might acknowledge. Even if you’ve made mistakes, next time around you’ll be prepared, right?” She offered an encouraging smile.

And as he posed her a rather heavy question, she gave him a steady nod.

“I do. We have some reformed Sith in our ranks here. I’ve seen them change for the better with my own eyes.” She eyed him curiously. “Do you feel it’s unattainable for yourself? What is holding you back?”

[member="Preliat Mantis"]
 
What was holding him back?

He knew the answer as soon as she asked. As soon as the words formed, an answer pinged in his mind, as painful as the reality was.

He felt her hand, her presence. The peacefulness washing away with the guilt and the heartache. He collected his head into his hands, leaning forward and sighing. He spoke after a moment of painful silence.

"The guilt and the regret is my greatest chain, my great anchor. I suppose all living beings with a soul gather chains in their lives, things that weigh them to the ocean floor. Mine would be enough to anchor a great many ships." He sat in silence again, staring at the window.

"Mistakes are made accidentally. What would you call vile acts made in the hope of a better life? I have slain countless men, stole sons from mothers and daughters from fathers. I have orphaned children and ruined lives. All in order in a selfish desire to protect my own family, or at least in theory."

His eyes flashed a blue hue and he blinked.

"The short answer is my past, Master Jedi. What I have done and the fruitless pursuit and attempts they were to preserve my life as it was. Only to be betrayed and destroyed by my own people, and have all I fought for taken."


[member="Valae Kitra"]
 
Valae knew that there was likely little she could say to ease all of Preliat’s troubles. The past often had a great hold on people. Memories, both good and bad, had a way of etching themselves deep into minds. The painful things bore so deep that they were just like scars – ever present reminders.

“You can only let those feelings hold you back for so long.” She said, “It’s hard, I know, but there comes a time when we all have to learn to let go.”

Even Valae had once carried the burden of guilt. Memories of her father tended to bring such feelings to the surface, but over time she had learned to face her feelings and release them.

“It will take time, but you’ll be better off. I think your daughter would want you to be happy, don’t you?” She canted her head to the side. “You know, I think some meditation sessions at the temple might be a good place for you to start.”

Glancing over towards the window, she could still see raindrops falling against the glass, but the torrent seemed to be letting up. The sound of the droplets on the roof was relaxing; she hoped that Preliat would find some peace tonight.

“It’s getting late; I don’t want to keep you all night.” Valae started, moving towards the edge of her seat. But she chuckled and offered the Mandalorian a smile, just to see if he had any other thoughts on his mind before she made her way out into the night.

[member="Preliat Mantis"]
 
"I have learned many things in my life. Perhaps letting go is something I must also learn." Preliat's amber eyes moved around the room, before settling back on the Jedi.

"I am unsure of what my daughter wants. But I suppose every daughter wants their father to be happy." He tapped his fingers on the arms of the sofa. Images of Aditya and Yasha floated in his mind.

"There is a saying among the Mandalorians- Mando'ade draar Digu. That the Mandalorians do not forget. If the Silver Jedi ever come to be near the Mandalorians- or forbid it ever to be that the Mandalorians and your Jedi find themselves waging conflict... you would do well to remember such a fact."

Preliat leaned his head back on the sofa, pressing his back against it.

"My people needed me. Now, no one needs me. It is a strange feeling. Liberating, in a way. But strange nonetheless."

[member="Valae Kitra"]
 

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