Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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One Year On; A Lifetime Later

Connor Harrison


City Of Tháinbroek
Midvinter, Beornskald System
The snow was just as she remembered.

Cold. Pretty. Unforgiving.

Just like she had become.

Joon stood on the outskirts of the city that housed more than just a bitter woman and family. Midvinter held something else Joon wanted; Mysa. Their prisoner.

A girl trapped by a demanding family who deserved so much more. Freedom and a chance to be something great, as she so obviously was.

Over the year, Joon had come back twice to see if she could find Mysa. And then nothing; time moved on, but her memories didn't. Only with the recent developments with young Stephanie Brown and her introduction of caring, and love, and all the other confusing feelings she put before the Knight, Joon had to find Mysa once more to see if what Stephanie said was true.

It wouldn't bring Joon back from any "edge", but it may explain how she felt over a year ago.

A year. Much could change in a year.

Joon had changed. Her appearance corrupted by the Dark Side. Her eyes dark and amber, her hair now long and streaked with white, her stance more confident and her clothes more primitive.

She stood on the outskirts, where Mysa had last been seen helping Joon to her craft the last time she had been here. All she could so was pray Mysa came this way as Joon did to remember. She made a vow, and one she would not forget.

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
Stood on the edge of the Crowseye residence, Mysa could only grin up at the Valkyri hunter. Down by her feet Felix roamed, weaving between the pairs feet and purring. He had grown considerably, yet in his mind he remained the same tiny cub. Still trying to get into all the small spaces he used to love, especially the packs they used when hunting.

It had been another long excursion, hunting älk through the forest, and now both had to return to normality. Sadly that meant Mysa had to make the trek back up the hill to the Great Hall. Not before peeking her head in to say hello to the old Crow and his family of course.

"I'll kick your butt next time, just you watch... I'll be bringing home supper."

She had gotten a helluvalot better at hunting and tracking, something she had done prior to meeting Gideon but not as well as he. Leaning up on her toes, she placed a delicate kiss to his lips before pulling back with a teasing smile.

Time to go.

"Oh, and by the way... Mother invited you to the Great Hall tomorrow, for lunch. Father will be there."

She was already walking away by this point, but no doubt sweet Gideon would have gone through a multitude of emotions already. Lunch with the King, oh what was he to make of that?

"Goodbye!" she called over her shoulder, before picking up into a sprint with the Frir at her heel. Waving at the locals she recognized.

It wasn't until she saw the Gate that the ease of their journey, the mental comfort it brought with it, was forced to alleviate and she ground to a halt. Staring.

A year. A full year had gone by. And yet the guilt she felt toward her Grandpa was still as strong as ever.

"A few more minutes won't hurt, right pup'?"

Together with the bounding creature they reached the gate and then beyond. A small clearing, just beyond the gate - close to where she and Théo had first spotted Belawir - had become her defacto place to remember the King among Gods, and so there it was that she settled with the bundle of fur in her lap.

Absentmindedly petting Felix, she stared off into the trees and frowned.

A full year without spotting a Vhaanir. Had her guardians forsaken her?


Connor Harrison

She had her eyes closed. There was no need to look at the forest she knew so well, and the mist and snow didn't make it easy to see much anyway. Instead, she saw beyond it all with the Force. Life was sparse in these woods, but she was only looking for....

Amber eyes opened.

Two life forms. One felt like....

Joon gasped, losing her sense of orientation for a second, and felt like she had found her place again. Looking left and right, she turned, following the aura she was drawn to. There was another...a beast. That beast she had with her the first time they met.

Walking with her fur-lined robe trailing behind, in control of her stride with no wobbling or faltering, brushing away a few strands of bracken and twigs, she weaved through as a large city slowly came into view beyond the woods.

But before that, was Mysa and her creature. Sat almost looking in the same direction Joon came from. The Knight slowed and felt...confused again. She felt happy, and sad, and scared. Was it Mysa? So many times she had been here and not felt her, and seen beggers wandering through, but not her.

Now she was sat there. Waiting.

”Mysa,” she croaked. Not loud enough. ”Mysa!” This time, a shout, with some joy in her voice.

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
She did not intend to stay long, just enough to say a prayer or two to the Gods above and let him know that she hadn't forgotten him. The Sun God that had walked among man for a short time.

To many it might have brought comfort to know that the late King bathed them in his glow each day, brought comfort and warmth, helped their crops grow. To Mysa it was just another reminder.

With a very small sigh she kissed Felix on the nose and rose from her place within the snow.

Just ahead something seemed to disturb the underbrush, and she stared in vain hope that the Vhaanir had decided to show themselves in this moment of need.

But no stag stepped forth, not even a doe, but a voice.

One that was familiar, but had not been heard in some time.

And then she stepped forward, and Mysa's eyes turned wide with amazement.



Connor Harrison

Her voice was the same; hopeful and caring with only the call of a name.

Joon walked a little quicker, ducking down under the branches to come out into the clearing from the trees. It was Mysa. She didn’t look a day different. And she would forget how corrupt and different she herself would appear to this girl.

The beast seemed to growl, and Joon lost her smile and glared down with narrowed eyes, pushing the Force into its mind like a pressure vice grip. The pup soon started whimpering, lowering its head and settling onto its front legs.

And then, she looked back to her…friend? What was she. Damn that girl for making Joon doubt everything and question it all.

”I can’t believe I found you…I found you,” she smiled.

Stepping forward, the Knight held out her hands, wanting Mysa to take them and to do what she did before on Midvinter; hold her and give her a comforting word.

”Are you…”

She stopped mid-stride. Only looking at her face properly did Joon see something wasn’t right for Mysa.


[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
Her eyes prickled uncomfortably for a moment as the woman neared her. Gods above, she had thought she might never see her again! While a year wasn't that long in the grand scheme of things, so much had happened to make it feel an eternity ago.

The City she called home had fallen under attack oncemore, though her Father had sent Mysa, her newborn brother, and the Queen off world. And who was she to deny her King? Returning to see further ruins on a City that had suffered so much already though? That had been horrific.

Felix's whimpers caught her by surprise, and she immediately crouched down and scooped him into her arms for a moment. He had gotten too big to carry. Her eyes fixed to Joon uncertainly. Surely she hadn't just... No. That couldn't be it, she wouldn't hurt the thing Mysa loved so dearly.

No words needed to be said at first, and when Joon neared her she released the cub and rose back to her full height, meeting the woman in a tight embrace, even when she halted in avid confusion.

"Am I what?" she finally inquired, pulling back to look upon the woman. There was something most definitely different about her, the look in her eye had changed. As had the colour.

"What has happened to you, my dear sweet friend?"


Connor Harrison

Joon covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head, giggling suddenly instead of wanting to cry.

”Nothing has happened to me. I just....” she dropped her hand and shrugged, and reached up to cup Mysa's face, toying with a strand of white hair, ”...I never thought I would see you again.”

With a little think about the girl's question, Joon sighed and rubbed her hands up and down Mysa's soft arms, as one would for comfort and sensation of feeling that their dream was now a reality again.

”So much has happened. Can we go somewhere to talk? I have so much to tell you in my journey. You''ll be proud of me, I hope.”

She tugged on her arm, forgetting that she was probably an unwanted sight in the city. But, then again, she was little of the naive dark-haired girl who had stormed around a year ago.

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
Joon was a lot more fidgety than she remembered, but then again this was probably a shock for the both of them. When her featherlight touch made itself known upon her cheek, Mysa leaned into the hand and could not help but smile.

"I made promise that you would" she offered, booping Joon upon the very tip of her nose playfully, "And I don't go back on my promises."

Something had definitely changed with her. And it wasn't just her physical appearance, which truth be told had Mysa worried. She was looking more like the Sith she had seen on the battlefield, with those sickly eyes and skin which had somehow gotten paler.

No, aside from that was a more carefree demeanor. And all this touching? The Joon she had met last year had seemed utterly perplexed by Mysa's tender touch, and now look at her!

She has come so far in so many ways, and yet in others...

Mysa worried for her friend. She would get to the bottom of it, somehow, but for now? For now Mysa would simply enjoy this meeting for what it was.

Felix had relaxed again by now, seeing that Mysa was not alarmed by Joon's presence, and had lain over top of her feet. Still believing himself a tiny cub.

"Of course we can talk" she said with a smile, disrupting poor Felix's sleep as she began to follow the tug of her friend. When the direction the woman took was toward the City, however, Mysa pulled back with a soft frown.

"Not there, Joon..." She tore her gaze away from the City which remained in a poor state of repair, and frowned. "Midvinter was recently under attack, it's too soon. Mother may have forgotten your exchange last year" Who was Mysa kidding? Mother had been livid, and she doubted the mentalist truly forgot. "But given that it was Darksiders who attacked... I can't risk it. I can't risk you getting hurt again."

She hoped her friend would understand, truly she did.

"Maybe we can find somewhere else?"


Connor Harrison

The touch of her nose made her recoil a little, but she grinned. Looking at Mysa with a little confusion, Joon glanced back at the city and her smile rose at the talk of the attack.

”She brought it upon them all. And no doubt the Jedi were involved,” she turned to Mysa, a glint of the predator in those eyes. ”Which makes it so much easier now to protect you. The Dark Side isn’t bad, Mysa. It has helped me. It will allow me to help you as I couldn’t before. Nobody will hurt you and make you feel scared. Nobody.”

With a little nod, Joon stood back beside the girl and her pup, her glint fading to a more naïve smile.

”We can go anywhere. We can walk, or sit in my ship’s hold. It’s not large but we can be out of this strange weather. Yes?”

Again, a little nod, head indicating back where she came.

”Come. Let me help you this time as you helped me.”

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
"That isn't fair" she said, with her lips pressing into a tight line. "The people of Midvinter are humble, hardy, they did nothing to bring about the battles brought to their doorsteps. They don't have fancy turbolasers, or blasters, or energy swords. And it most definitely was no fault of Mothers - or the Jedi."

Clearly Joon had touched a nerve, and the young girl turned from her to stare off into the City for a moment.

"Wherever the Sith go, destruction follows. I do hope you were not part of the attack here, I would never forgive you if you were. So many of these people - my people - perished. Their homes destroyed."

Another shake of her head, before she wrapped her arms around herself though the cold did little to tempt her. Was she wrong about Joon? Doubt was beginning to set in. Was Mysa strong enough to tempt her away from the abyss which had so clearly claimed her?

"Don't you see? The Darkside is bad" she finally added, looking across to Joon. Tentatively, cautiously, she reached out to caress her cheek with the back of her hand. "Look what it's done to you..." Lower lip trembling, Mysa could not help but run her fingertips across Joon's face, along her cheekbones to frame her eyes, before settling within the stark white streaks which had appeared in her hair.


Connor Harrison

There. The hope faded from her corrupt eyes, and the corners of her mouth turned down the more Mysa spoke.

Spoke about her people who had wronged her, treated her like a criminal and made Mysa herself feel like...well...Joon saw the fear all that time before. And...

Her eyes went wide and she moved forward, batting Mysa's hand away from her face.

”Look what it's done to me? What has it done to me? It's made me stronger. Confident. Powerful.” She was face to face with the girl. ”So what you see of me is BAD now, is that it? And what have the Jedi Knights done for you? What did they do to help your city? Where are they NOW!”

She was shouting at her, hissing almost, like a monster.

”The Jedi are your enemy now! Look at what they have made you...scared. A coward. Confused. Alone.”

And then, she made her move. Her temper faded, and her sorrowful face returned. Both hands rose to cup the delicate face of Snowstrider.

”Mysa. My Mysa. I have missed you so much. But I came back for you. I promised you I would, because the Dark Side has given me the strength to do so. Look at you. All alone....” she brushed her thumbs across her soft cheeks, ”....I would never do this to your home and the fact you think I could, well, it hurts.”

Joon took a step back, noting the pup now almost ready to pounce.

”You say I have changed. Maybe I have. But you? What have you become.”

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
Mysa instinctively cringed back.

In a moment all of her doubt came tumbling down over her like a tidal wave of despair. She wrapped her arms around herself as though it could protect her from the woman's vehement words, from the firm set of her eyes, and took a step away from her.

How far had the darkness penetrated? Where once a naive, innocent woman had stood now there was... Mysa did not even know. Those beautiful eyes held corruption, and it pained Mysa to see it.

By this point Joon was yelling right in her face, telling her how wrong she was, how little she knew, of the power the darkside had granted her. And while Mysa felt terrified, truly she did, there still remained heartache. Sorrow for her friend. She was so misguided, somebody had purposely skewed her view of the Galaxy... And that was wrong. So very wrong.

"The Jedi were here, helping. They came to fight off the attackers. They stayed to heal the wounded. Even now they help to rebuild the City. Where are your Sith friends, Joon? They fled the moment they had destroyed these people's lives!"

When Joon's temper settled, and she reached for Mysa's face, the girl flinched back. "Don't touch me. You don't know what you speak of, Joon. You don't understand. I've watched the Galaxy burn at the hands of the darkside. It doesn't help anybody."

Mysa felt as though her world had been torn apart. There was no anger in her tone, just sadness and pity. What she wouldn't give to show Joon the truth of the matter, to let her see the Galaxy from another point of view. She realized now that there was little she could do to help, however, at least not on her own.

"You... Confuse me" she finally said, as tears brimmed her eyes, "I thought you were my friend. How can you stand there and yell at my face, call me weak, and say my people deserved what they got, and then try to turn tender?" Those tears fell, and Mysa's heart pounded loudly in her chest with the sensation of a thousand tiny daggers prickling the surface.

"I don't want the darkside to save me, Joon. I don't need saving. You do."


Connor Harrison

Joon jumped a little as Mysa back away, hands holding air, and her breathing started to get heavier, and her temperature increased in panic and an wash of confusion and uncertain emotion.

”Oh no…I….” she looked away and had tears in her eyes, holding onto her chest, ”…Mysa, please…no, no, no…don’t leave me again….please…..”

He head fell forward and she groaned, hair falling across her face and hand tightening on her breast to hurt, to feed on pain she thrived on as a push forward.

”The Jedi will take over….and they will abandon you when they have nothing left. I’ve seen it! Remember, I’ve seen it happen! I was just like you! The Jedi Knights attacked my home, destroyed it with bombs and soldiers, and then left. Only those surrounded by the Dark Side could help me find strength to carry on….don’t you see what’s happening?”

Joon began to cry, and her hands went to cover her mouth, in sadness as she watched Mysa slip away.

”The Jedi….they took everything from me….and now….they’re taking you….and I can’t let them….I’m not a Sith, Mysa.” She shook her head. ”I’m not. Jedi or Sith. I’m none of them. I’m me….I’m me.”

She brushed her hair back and gasped as her emotions peaked, and now she let venom seep into her voice, tears streaked her face as her eyes narrowed up at the city behind.

”Don’t let them split us up again, I need your help. I need it! I’m so….confused. I’ve been exposed to something, and I don’t know what it means. I only know you can help me. You are MY friend. Whatever a friend means to you.”

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
In an instance everything turned on its head. The vehement woman who had turned on her was gone, and in its place the same naive child she had first seen in Joon, the one which reminded Mysa so much of herself, surfaced. With all the insecurities and panic of one who had been abandoned too many times.

Mysa stepped forward, her doubts forgotten in her haste to make things right. To ease the burning spirit of her friend. Arms wrapped around Joon, encasing her in a fur-filled embrace that transcended the physical realm. One which sought to touch her soul, and remind her that she was not alone. Not here. Not ever.

Though their paths may not have been the same, though they walked through different phases of the moon, one in perpetual darkness and the other in light, Mysa cared not. It was not her place to cast judgement.

It was difficult though, to come to terms with it all. Her head felt as though it might be torn in two. Duty bound in one sense, to the Jedi, to the Light, while facing a morally ambiguous situation. She could not abandon her friend in her hour of need. With time perhaps she could show her... Not that Mysa felt she knew the truth, but she had seen another side to the same coin.

Perhaps the truth lay somewhere in between. Perhaps between the two of them they could find a balance, a better insight into the way the Galaxy truly was.

"Maybe neither are without blame" she breathed, speaking of the factions which divided their universe, the forces which drove a wedge between the mystical energy they could feel coursing around them. Still she did not release Joon from her embrace, but she also did not try to argue with her. She did not try to belittle the woman's experiences.

She simply held her, the way Mysa wished she had been held during those chaotic early years when all she had known had spun out of control.


Connor Harrison

Joon dissolved into Mysa’s embrace and sobbed, hands clawing into the shoulders of the Midvinter Princess. She wasn’t upset about her choice of live – she thrived for violence, for carnage and chaos. She wasn’t upset about the Light and Dark. She was upset because she couldn’t afford to lose the only friend she had who looked after her, and never hurt her.

The pain of her past came to the surface, of losing her sisters and her creators in a brutal massacre. She saw their lifeless bodies, partially destroyed and some simply dried out from exposure to lethal gas. Joon was the only one left, with nothing secure in her life. Even the Resurgent Empire wasn’t her TRUE Empire, but it was the best she had found for now.

Could….maybe…she find a future with…

”I don’t…I don’t understand.”

Her amber eyes opened slowly as she sniffed and tried to catch her breath through broken sobs and calmed down, feeling her supported fully.

”Someone…recently told me….they had feelings surface for me….and I didn’t understand. But….I did because….it made me come here for….for you.”

She felt tired, and just started into the snow, arms tight around Mysa and head on her shoulder.

”I am so….confused…and I know it’s because…I’m a clone…I don’t understand emotion still…bar what I have felt already….”

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
"I'm not going anywhere" the young girl soothed, trying her best to reassure her friend who had all but crumbled in her arms. Mysa felt sure that she would be on her knees if not for her support, so she wasn't about to release her any time soon.

Whatever had happened in the woman's past, Mysa felt certain that it was cause for this odd state of regression. Joon did not seem to know what to make of much, emotions such as joy and care seemed to confuse her, or were so expressive when she felt them that it was almost like a caricature on her face. There was no moderation. She jumped from one sensation to another. From a high to a low. From anger to sadness.

What she wouldn't give to help her through it. To teach her as she quite clearly had never been, the basic fundamentals of being human. To express in a way that was healthy.

"What don't you understand?" she encouraged, before listening to what came next. Truthfully Joon's own confusion transitioned into her words, and Mysa struggled to keep up. She tried though, listening to each and every word that escaped her broken friend's mouth.

Someone had made a move on Joon? Protectiveness rose within her, no doubt the self same feeling Théodred had expressed upon realizing that Mysa had taken a boy to the Silver's Masquerade. If anybody hurt her...

Calm, Mysa, you do not know the full story.

"Emotions can be a fickle thing; difficult to sense at times, and even harder to fully comprehend. They can come all at once, and hit you like a sandstorm, or appear as softly as the changing tides. Gradually, and over time."

One hand lifted from where it had lay, against the woman's back, and now settled in her hair. Joon had gotten herself quite comfortable against Mysa's shoulder, and that was fine with her. Felix, no doubt tired of hearing the pair bicker then make up, was sound asleep just a foot away in the snow.

Joon revealed something that Mysa had not known before, the fact that she was a clone.

That speaks volumes. It makes sense of so many things...

Clones were rarely left to grow of their own accord. The process was rushed, especially if they were intended for military use, and their life was one long regime. No time for emotion, no time for care or consideration on an individual level. Mysa sighed.

"Confusion is natural. With time emotions will come to you more readily, you just... You have to open yourself to them."

Not a very Jedi thing to say, all things considered, but Mysa identified more with the Valkyri and their Gods than she did the Jedi and their Force. Emotions were not something to suppress in her opinion, though they should come in moderation. As with all things.

"I can help, if you'll let me, though it won't be instantaneous."


Connor Harrison

With a shiver, half due to the cold wind and half to the emotion escaping her, Joon sniffed and composed herself on Mysa’s shoulder as she spoke, fingers easing from her side. Force knows why Mysa had connected with Joon over a year ago – it certainly wasn’t expected nor had it been wanted. But at the time of her greatest vulnerability and her biggest test, the girl from Midvinter had been there to help her, like a faithful ally. Like a creator. A mother. A….

The clone frowned.

She remembered what had happened on Ziost.

Pulling back gently, and rubbing a streak of tears from her face, Joon looked at Mysa, and tried to analyse her.

She leant in, and kissed her on the lips. A gentle kiss, but full on for a few seconds. Then, she broke away.

”What was that to you. What does that mean to you right now.”

Hopefully this would make sense of the new emotions and feelings that had been forced upon her recently. The kiss was the one she wanted to understand first.

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
With a little more time, and silence between them, Joon finally seemed ready to rise, to stand tall of her own accord. Mysa watched as she rubbed tears from her eyes and looked upon the Umbaran with a curious expression. One Mysa at first could not make sense of.

And then it happened. There was no build up, no warning, it came out of nowhere.

In the year between their last visit and this, Mysa had met back up with a boy from the eve of the battle, a hunter. The pair had inadvertently fallen into one another's paths, much the same way that Joon and Mysa had, and something had blossomed between them. His advances had been smooth, slow, natural. And she had moved with them as though in a dance.

By comparison, Joon's kiss was significantly less tender. Needy. As though she had something to prove. It was still a gentle gesture, of course, and it left Mysa momentarily dumbfounded. Something stirred within her, but she did not know what to make of it.

The woman's question took her equally by surprise. Was this a test? What would happen if Mysa's answer did not fit the scenario inside Joon's mind? Would she lose her temper again, or worse?

She could not deny that there was something between them, a spark of sorts, but she could not simply cast aside what she had here on Midvinter already. It was completely different to how she felt about and around Gideon.

Joon was her friend, and though the woman was older than she Mysa still saw her more as a younger companion. It was the curiosity, the intrigue, the naivety, that did it.

"I..." She pressed her lips together, trying to savour the moment and also buy herself some time to think. "I don't understand... Is this why you came back here? There's something there, you know there is, there has been since the day we met... But I can't... You can't. It's not fair on you, Joon. These emotions are so alien to you, and there's more that comes with it than just that feeling you have right now. So much more. And without trying to understand the rest of it, it's only going to hurt."

She knew it was true, it hurt even talking about it. Even if the hunter was not in the picture, theirs was not a thing which could be sustained. "It's like a star that's burning out, it's brilliant, bright, fierce... It makes you feel warm and alive... But it is going to burn out. There's no foundation..."

Mysa felt hollow, and she looked away with exhaustion on her expression. One hand reached out to take Joons, to reassure her that she wasn't going to walk away. It was just confusing, this whole damn thing.


Connor Harrison

The clone didn’t get angry, but she felt….something inside hollowed out, like a pit in her stomach that made her feel week. Her head lowered, hair once again falling down beside her face. She partially heard Mysa speak, and even let her take a feeble hand that had no resistance to.

”You didn’t tell me what it meant.”

A slight pang of hate bit into her words as she felt conflict from the girl. There was something more to this. There was something else. Someone else. Someone else close to her, showing her care and affection – as Stephanie had put it, someone who had let them into their heart.

”I came here to understand it,” she said flatly and quietly, head down, hand out, ”and I came here for you to help me understand what this feeling is and what a kiss really means.”

She paused.

”But already you have ignored my question and now ignore the emotion there I know you feel. You’re not being honest with me.”

From beneath her loose fringe, her amber eyes looked up at Mysa.

”Tell me what it means to you.”

Then, she moved closer, head rising to never break eye contact. She was a hairs width away from her face.

”Explain to me how we feel something, but what that something is.”

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]
"I cannot speak for you" she whispered, doing her best to avoid the woman's wrath. She was once again in Mysa's face, but this time the girl did not stand down. She did not cower. She stood tall.

I have done no wrong here. I am just as in the dark as she is.

"We have a connection. Even with you yelling at me as you are it remains true. A bond which transcends basic emotions. I care about you, for you, I want to keep you safe and warm and protected. And I feel better with you at my side. Whether you feel the same way, I cannot say."

She bit her lip. Explaining the kiss? Well... She didn't know what had been going through Joon's mind when she opted for that gesture.

"A kiss is a sign of love. Familial, if it's between parents and their children, or other family members... Even close friends. Sometimes it's due to an intense bond. Adoration. Infatuation. Lust." She frowned at that last word. "It's hard to tell which you feel in the moment. Love is a desire to stay by someone's side, it endures time and transcends just physical touch. Lust... That's the opposite. It's base, and it burns out. It's wanting without care."

Looking away from Joon, Mysa could not help but sigh. What did she want her to say? Surely she did not want just the definition of these things.

"I don't know what it means between us, this kiss, because I do not know your intentions. I'm not a mind reader, Joon..."


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