Private One Who Sees Everything | Sacorria

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria, Kai'el Home
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

Jasper wasted very little time opening his door when Iris Arani landed her ship. He knew the drill. Of every person in the galaxy, only one individual could see right through him. She probably already knew something was amiss, more than the fact that he had been whisked away against his will to fight like hell in another galaxy. He watched as his oldest friend made her way up to his front door from the landing pad, a sigh escaping from his chest. There wasn't going to be any foreplay. He was just going to get straight to business...

Except he instead gave her a very brisk tight hug.

"Sorry, you're getting a hug first," he stated, "Before you get a chance to start asking me questions."

He would eventually let go before he proceeded to lead her inside.

"Come on... I'll take you to what's on my mind."

Because something was on his mind. It was swirling around him like a beacon, surely louder than any other emotion that Jasper was experiencing. Iris no doubt was already well aware of it.

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Jasper had come back. Not back back, from what Iris had heard. The first and only of their generation to be named Master- his absence had been noticed. Iris was used to people disappearing. She'd done the same here and there. Corin Trenor had, though he was back now. The others- were gone though. Dead, or just missing.

Ah. No.

There was an awkward moment as Iris stood still once Jasper hugged her. Affection wasn't something she understood or cared much about in most situations. The slow realization that echoed through her mind pretty clearly put more into perspective than she'd expected. For the first time she actually hugged him back.

He was the best of their generation in her eyes, yes, but it was more than fact to her now. ".. I'm glad you're back, Jasper."

Then she let him go, stepped back to follow him inside. She could see it, of course. Her eyes would always be able to see it, even if she didn't want to.

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

"Uh... try to be quiet... He's probably asleep."

He didn't elaborate further. The sight that followed was rather self explanatory. The room they entered was work-in-progress, but it was clearly a nursery. A cradle was present, tiny and lined with a blue blanket for padding. Beneath a mobile sporting various starfighters and planets was an infant, swaddled in cloth and gently breathing as he slept. His hair was already full, blonde and striking in a way that was certain to be all too familiar. Jasper looked on with a conflicted gaze, swirling with a thousand emotions. Fear, concern, compassion, love... It was certainly difficult for him to process himself.

"His name is Cole," Jasper relayed. "He... was born in my absence. When I was taken and fighting to get back here. Marissa and I... I guess I don't really need to explain anything. It's sort of self explanatory..."

The Jedi Master sighed as he gave the mobile above the child a gentle prodding.

"So I'll be staying away for a while," he muttered. "Away from the Order. I was gone too long already..."

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Cole?

A child?

Iris blinked in surprise, looking between Jasper and his son. It wasn't like she didn't expect Jedi to have children, or even that the most stable of their generation in Jasper would have one himself, but it still took her a moment to process. How much had changed, how much the kid she used to patch up from his outings in the lower city had grown, not that she wasn't a kid at the time too.

"Stay away as long as you need to. You've already given more than enough." It was the most honest thing she could tell him right now. For his son, sure. But for him specifically, he deserved to relax. Retire, even, if that's what he wanted.

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

"We... all have given a lot," Jasper told her. "I'll have more to give eventually, but not now."

It was strange to be here, given everything that they had been through. The galaxy had really thrown them around and given them what for. Maybe in some cases more self inflicted than others. Even still, the buildup to this was... unusual. He hadn't really been prepared for everything to just be different, and yet the change had been gradual. It wasn't instantaneous, even if it felt like it was.

"Hey, look at you," he remarked, nudging Iris with his elbow. "You're an aunt. Well, you may as well be an aunt. You were the closest thing I had to a sibling till, y'know, I actually had a sibling. If that's worth something to ya..."

A more playful smile graced his face.

"You'll have plenty of time to drill into him about how running off and getting the snot beat out of him is bad," the Jedi Master added. "Y'know, if you wanna feel nostalgic..."

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Ah.

There was an emotion that had formed somewhere in Iris's mind that she hadn't given thought to. Avoided, more accurately. As she'd been avoiding Valery Noble , the family there. She knew of all the new little Noble's and that they were going to grow up, that she could spend more time with them as she had with Vera, but she hadn't.

Seeing Cole, having Jasper talk to her about being an aunt, the emotions clicked in her head to words. She didn't look at him for a long, quiet moment, her gaze focused instead on Cole. Watching their colors. The joy and happiness the boy had, she didn't want that to be tainted. After a moment she brought a smile.

"I'll have to leave that to you. I don't think I'm going to be around when he's old enough for those kinds of lectures."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

"Yeah, I know..." Jasper sighed, tucking his hands into his pockets. "That's... not really your thing..."

He paused for a moment.

"But... maybe you could give it a try," he reasoned. "Maybe just... a little. It wouldn't have to be a lot..."

Jasper did want Iris to continue to be present. It wasn't just for his sake, or the sake of his son knowing who his closest friends are. Iris had a bad habit of slipping away and losing contact, something he understood her reasoning for. He also knew that it was hurting her, maybe more than she realized.

All the emotions she could see and it was her own she always ignored.

"An annual visit at least," he murmured.

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Iris opened her mouth before closing it. Disbelief, momentarily, before her expression softened further. He didn't understand, which wasn't too surprising. She'd always been bad at explaining things. She turned her gaze from him, back to Cole. ".. I'd like to see him while I can. It's not that I don't want to, or that it's not 'me' to. I've got a couple more years I can still come to see him on my own, I imagine. But- I don't want to taint his youth with death and loss."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

"A couple more years..." Jasper muttered. "What... is that supposed to mean?"

He paused for a moment before speaking again.

"You don't mean that... that you're..."

Jasper couldn't bring himself to finish it. He certainly didn't want to be the one that put the idea out into the world. It was hard to really gather what Iris was saying, but it sounded like the death and loss she was afraid of bringing was her own.

 

[Iris Arani]

​

"My bodies falling apart, it turns out. It's not that I haven't wanted to get something like Synthskin or the like to help with the scars, maybe even cybernetics to get back some better control of my hands. It just can't handle it. All the medicine I've learned, and I can't keep my own body going. I spend a lot more time of the week in a bacta tank than I do out of it now, and that's only going to grow longer." How much longer until the time she spent in the tank wasn't worth it anymore?

Oddly, speaking on it, she seemed at peace. Iris was. She'd dealt with the fear and hate of that some time ago now. It was why she'd been able to bring herself to take on a Padawan, to speak with others again. Her disfigured hand reached down, gently brushing over Cole's hair before she looked finally back to Jasper with a smile.

"I don't want your son to spend his youth knowing that his aunt is breaking down bit by bit until she won't even be able to be around. I don't want to be seen like that."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

"I... didn't know," Jasper sighed. "I'm sorry... I guess there isn't really a reason for me to apologize considering I can't really change anything... or could have for that matter... Jeez..."

He knew that she had always been damaged, but this was an extent that he was unfamiliar with. To hear that her body was breaking down was... devastated.

So much she had done for him, and now what could he do?

"I understand," he stated. "I'm... I don't want you to have any more stress than you need..."

How was he supposed to feel right now. Angry? She hadn't asked to be disfigured. Sad? He all but had confirmation that eventually she would just... fall apart and that would be it. She seemed at peace, but Jasper had only just been thrust into the position of emotional conflict.

It was gonna take him a bit of time.

"I... fuck..."

 

[Iris Arani]

​

Ah. Iris wasn't used to seeing this kind of coloring from Jasper of all people. Her expression softened immensely as she reached up and just, pulled him into a hug. It was a fact she'd grown used to now, but it didn't mean she didn't understand these colors. There were still days where she felt it, the same as he did now. "I'm not gone yet. You can mourn me when I am, yeah? I- don't want you to treat me like I'm already that broken down."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

Jasper simply returned the hug, letting out an exhale.

"You're right... that's... It's just a lot," he admitted. "I... well, I don't know how to not be worried about you... its not in my nature..."

He always wanted to do as much as he could for the people around him. It was a bit frustrating that there was't anything that he could do here. A roadblock he couldn't pass, even after fighting self-proclaimed gods, warlords, cannibal pirates, shapeshifters...

Jasper was ultimately just a man. Some tasks just weren't suited for that.

"Sorry," he finally relented. "I won't all get weird around you or anything... I don't want to make you feel miserable or anything. I was just caught a bit off-guard is all. You're still here, so that's what matters right now."

 

[Iris Arani]

​

"You can get weird around me. We can talk about this, if you want to. I'm not saying you can't be upset or anything, just- don't let what will happen be what is happening now. I suppose in a way that's a good lesson to learn." For Jedi, anyway. Appreciate the moment, not dread the future. Her smile remained, which was weird to see given how blank her expressions tended to be. She didn't want him to remember her for falling apart, but rather for being happy instead.

She was, in her own way.

"I'm not the only one going through things though. Tell me what happened?"

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

"Right... Ord Providence was the last time I was in GA space, and the Galactic disc proper I suppose," he recalled. "Kalrath... that's the name of a Sith. He was... well, he had history with my ancestor... sort of the reason Jalen and I are on our own. Some thousand year old blood feud. He took control of a darkside cult amongst the Godoan clergy and tried to sieze power. We fought, I won, but he... well, impaled me. Pretty bad, actually. I am pretty certain I felt him... grabbing at my guts. I sorta thought I was gonna die... Maybe I did die. It kinda felt like I did. Then I was whisked away. Some... booming voice rattled around in my head and told me I had more to do."

Jasper sighed, rubbing at his chin, now sporting well more than simple scruff. He had trimmed it to make it look well kept, but it was an indication of how long he had truly been away.

"Whoever they were they dropped me off in Firefist," he continued. "Weird place... between a cluster of blackholes. Suppose they wanted me to kill something. A Force entity of sorts, something Kalrath created. Tying up loose ends I guess... Easier said than done though. I was fighting that thing for months... And then it was over, and Braze and Corin whisked me away. I haven't really had time to process much after the fact, and I sort of don't think I could."

It was all very messy in his mind.

 

[Iris Arani]

​

So that's where Corin had gone with Braze? To help Jasper? A part of her was happy to hear it, another was annoyed she hadn't been brought along. Grant it, with how often she needed the bacta tank, she couldn't blame them if they didn't want to risk it. Logically, it was sound. It didn't help her feelings, whatever they were.

Even now, hearing what Jasper had gone through, the most she could do was look at him, or well around him, and nod her head.

"That's rough, buddy." A pause. "You should take the time to process it. Now, even. That kind of trauma, it's far too easy for it to eat at you."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

"That's the idea," Jaspee sighed. "I was going to need to rest either way..."

The Jedi Master was tired. Fighting for a few months straight without much respite would do that to you. Still, a lot of questions remained about why he had been taken to fight that... thing. It wasn't exactly going anywhere, not that Jasper could tell anyways. The blackholes were sort of already doing the job of containing it. There were too many questions, and nowhere near enough answers.

"I suppose I'll be much easier to find anyways," he remarked with a chuckle. "Easier to track someone down when they're staying in one spot."

 

[Iris Arani]

​

"It does make it easier to learn your target's habits and mannerisms when you can easily observe them." That was the Shadow talking, without a doubt. Some of her easiest assignments were the rich who loved to remain in their lavish homes and relied on the systems they paid for. Not a topic she was going to blabber on about now that she looked back to the sleeping infant again.

Those were tales not for children, she figured.

"We can go through it now, if you'd like. What happened is one thing, but everything else, how you feel on it."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Sacorria
Tags: Iris Arani

Lightsaber
​

"I'm just tired," Jasper assured. "It's hard to talk about things when I'm not really rested enough to put them into words."

He gave Iris a soft smile.

"Your willingness is more than enough to put my mind at ease right now," he decided. "Knowing you're open is just about as good as rattling your ear off for where I'm at right now. So thank you. It does mean a lot to me."

Jasper reached down and ran his thumb over Cole's forehead before withdrawing it, letting out an exhale.

"We can leave the little dude be," Jasper stated. "I'd rather not wake him. How about I rummage around and find us something to drink?"