Knowledge is Within Unexpected Sources

[Ignatius]

Aurum
The Silent Archives

This must be the place. It was known as the Silent Archives. A place where holocrons, datacrons and other important sources of wisdom can be learned, and gained. However, it was not the holocrons, the datacrons, or the various writings that I wanted to learn from. No. I sought after the Adherent of Kaleth. One in particular who is also the Caretaker of the Je'daii. Jyn Sol.

I wasn't told much, just that with who... what I am, She would likely be the best person to speak to. The person who I could learn from for a time. Not sure if that meant she had dealt with my kind before, or if she was one. I didn't know.

Honestly, I didn't care where she learned how to control herself from. I didn't care if her controlling of it came from the dark side or the light. I just knew that she could. That is why I sought her out. I looked for her because I feared I would become the Demon Prince I was thought to be, and expected to be. My father said that I would always follow in his footsteps, just that my path would be difficult for my own reasons. Entering the archives, I looked around. Seeing various rites and texts that I could be reading. However, these writings could bring me various places I don't know, or don't want to know. Yes, it was information, but not the information that I needed.

I was a little nervous. Fiddling with a ring that I wore. The band that my uncle wore. The one that he had once given to my mother. I spun it around my fingers. Replacing it upon my left ring finger. While I was not married, or promised to someone, I wore it anyways in memory of my uncle. His passing protected me, and our family. I rolled my neck. The thoughts fading from me. Breathing in, I attempted to not be nervous. A single quote rang in my mind, and I even muttered it to myself.

"The Brave are not fearless. They are brave, as bravery is born from a fear of losing something they can't exist without."

Breathing in, and out, I walked to the center of the main room. Waiting, wanting.

[member="Jyn Sol"],

 

[Lief]

Finally there was some sort of order to the City.

With the majority of the buildings now fully reconstructed, they had begun to truly turn them into something more than durasteel structures. From the makeshift Academy which the Je'daii had settled in, to the hospital which had in truth been the first to be completed, and various housing districts, but it was the Archive which had been her focus over the past week or so.

There was some order to it now. Large shelves lined the walls, and split up various sections on the interior, filled with datacrons, a few flimsiplast books, and of course the holocrons which were kept in the restricted section.

It was there that Jyn was currently lingering.

There was one particular holocron that she was having a hard time giving up, one she had learned belonged to her birth mother. Her true birth mother, one of the Je'daii who had initially settled on Aurum with Qae and the others.

But it didn't belong to her, even if she had lifted them from the Silent Temple during their pilgrimage over to Aurum. They were for the Order to utilize, and as such, with a small sigh, she settled it back into place on the shelf and frowned.

A tiny chitter caught her attention, and she turned her head to find the baby fat monkey she and [member='Ar'ekk'] had rescued from Nar Shaddaa skittering along the bookcases, oo'ing happily to himself.

"Kipo" she said, her voice soft and inviting; hearing the name it had been gifted the clever little thing lifted its head and jumped down toward her, settling on her shoulder and hugging her head. "Yeah, buddy, I missed you too."

The sound of footsteps from the next room drew her attention, more so than that the emotions. The uncertainty, and doubt, but also the slithers of hope. She smiled softly, and exited the restricted section, moving over to see who had entered.

She... Did not recognize the individual. His presence was darker than most who resided here, but there was enough restraint to keep her from worrying.

"Hello there, friend, welcome to the Silent Archive."

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

Slowly as I heard a soft set of words, I walked forward hesitantly towards the sound. Honestly, I took only a few steps when I saw a woman around my age. Black hair and distinguishable as an Epicanthix, I steeled myself for a moment, only a moment when I realized I was still within the halls of the Je'daii and not the Sith. I exhaled a very small sigh as she asked the statement directed towards only myself. Unless she felt necessary to speak to the pet creature near her. I had a small smile as the woman seemed welcoming. She was caring enough it seemed.

"Hi uh... I am looking for someone?"

Why was I asking about looking for someone? That made no sense. She was likely the only person in here from what I could feel through the force, and she was speaking to me as though she had a domain over this area. Calmed myself. Why was it with these Je'daii I was so uptight with? Maybe the feeling of being kicked out due to my much darker side? Maybe because I felt like I didn't have a place to belong? Maybe because I feel like I am just bothering these people with my stupid family issues when I should learn about it myself. Either way, I asked again my question in a much more different tone.

"Sorry, I am looking for the lass Jyn? I was told that I should talk to her about... my problem."

The woman I will say, did look fairly older than I was. Maybe a few years? Maybe my age? I could never really tell with these other species of humans. Sometimes they were much younger than myself, and other times, they were leaps and bounds a head of me. Either way, I let that train of thought leave me as I focused on why I was here.

To learn self control. Considering this library is where knowledge was held, it seemed to also be a place of learning more so than teaching. However, things could change at a moment's notice.

[member="Jyn Sol"],

 

[Lief]

With Kipo in tow she took a few steps toward the newcomer, and bowed her head in respectful greeting.

She did not recognize him, truth be told, but then again she had been busy away from Aurum, and even upon returning there had been so much work to be done implementing the Sanctuary that she'd barely been around the Academy. It was good to have the Silent Archives in working order, though, that was something she had accomplished.

When the stranger informed her that it was she he was looking for, she raised a brow. Interesting, she hadn't received a message from the Council or anyone else informing her that someone would be seeking her out, yet he claimed he had been sent her way.

Not that it mattered, the result would be the same.

With a gentle fuss behind the ear she gently moved Kipo down from her shoulder and onto one of the desks, where he happily chittered away before bounding off to some nook and cranny in the Archives. She kept a careful monitor on him through the Force to ensure he didn't do anything destructive, after all some of these tomes were priceless, before giving this stranger her full attention.

"As luck would have it, I am Jyn. How can I help you? Do you seek a specific book? If so, perhaps the Archivist would be of more use to you."

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

I smiled a slight bit. At first because finding this Jyn was luckily the easiest thing I had to do about all week. I nodded my head as the girl- No. Lady, answered my question. Recently I have been meeting with a lot of members who seemed younger than myself. Sahna, and Ashe being the more notable two. I was used to being around girls that were much younger than myself. Even when I was on Kro Var, The people who tended to be around me were either my friends around my age, or any girls that seemed to be a few years younger than myself. In highschool, that meant something. Now, I can see that means nothing. Ashe had such a large wealth of knowledge, even while being younger than myself.

Hell, she seemed to have more maturity than I did at times. Despite this fact, Jyn was older. My age, or even older. She was a lady in her own right. And being as she was my superior, I should give her more respect. My smile changed from that of watching the cute animal scatter away, and her answering, to one of hesitation. I don't even know why I was sent. Just being told that I should go to the Archive and meet with Jyn. That she would be able to help me. So, I stated the facts.

"If a tome, holocron, or any source of knowledge can help me, then I will be welcome to it."

Taking a step closer, I looked around. Even though it seemed like no one was in our direct area, or within earshot, I kept it silent.

"The problem is, I was not told to just visit Kaleth, but also specifically you."

Reaching from behind my back, I slowly brought forth a holocron. A pyramidal shape that glowed with a deep red hue when in my hands. Bringing it forward, I almost handed it to her, but was reluctant. It was my uncles. Information about the Shapers, their philosophy and other such was held within. Still, I presented it. If other members of the Je'daii order wished to learn more of the force, and wished to learn more, I wanted to offer this up. A show of faith, and a sign that I am willing to stay.

"I have two things. I wish to bring this forth. It's a personal Holocron of my families. If anyone wishes to use it they may, but I have never found any other kind like it. I would like some kind of measures to prevent it's theft should that happen. Otherwise, I would wish that whoever uses it contacts me about it first."

If she would take it, I was wondering what color that it would change to. Most often, the gatekeeper that was my uncle Morna, could still influence the outside. As portions of his essence were still within the holocron itself. Changing color to the shaping art that most represented the person holding it. I have seen myself only a fire, and it has changed a few times to the other colors, but rarely. If she didn't take it, then I wouldn't know what to do with it.

"The other problem I have, is.... I have emotional, and spiritual imbalance. I want to search for a way to bring myself into a better state. Be it of a holocron, or even a person. I do not have a preference."

[member="Jyn Sol"],

 

[Lief]

She could sense it before he presented it, an almost corrupting presence which had her nose wrinkle with discomfort and her skin begin to prickle as it prepared to turn ashen in the face of such a strain. Exhaling through her nose she did her best to keep it under wraps, and allowed a smile to remain upon her lips, as if by doing so she could trick her body into behaving itself.

Her eyes drifted toward it, and for a moment she only looked at it in silence. Then, with a very small nod of her head, she extended her hand and grasped the Holocron through the Force, not wishing to touch it without knowing first what it contained. She had heard stories of such things being cursed, and while she had no cause to distrust the man before her, she wasn't about to risk her sanity any more than she already had. The fire was enough.

If the Force was capable of imparting her presence onto the Holocron, he'd notice that it shifted ever so slightly before retaining the fiery aspect it had already been showing, though there remained a light airiness about it too. However that would be reflected.

"I thank you for this gift, it will further our Order. If I may ask for a full description of its contents at some point, I shall add it to our restricted section."

Keeping the holocron hovering a couple of inches above her hand, she looked past it to the man.

"As for your imbalance, I have to admit I sensed it when you first entered. I happen to be Empathic, and if you would like we can work together to get it under control. It seems I am at a loss here, my friend, for you know my name yet I do not know yours. Come, let us find somewhere a little quieter to talk. First though, I shall have this put away."

She gestured for him to follow as she walked back the way she had come, into an area flanked on both sides of the door by Je'daii Rangers who were silent and alert, guarding the restricted section. It was with her blessing alone that he was able to follow her inside, to what looked more like a museum than an archive, with display cabinets which housed the various ancient tomes and holocrons that the Order had collected.

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

The woman could feel something. Just the slight shifting by holding out the holocron as well as myself, I could tell that she felt something in me, and the holocron. While it was created by my uncle, it had been in possession by my father who was heavily within the Dark side. Thus his... taint was imparted upon the holocron. Even I could feel the darkness from it. What surprised me was that the redish color and almost flaming look stayed the same after she imparted her force essence with it. The holocron was one that could feel the essence and reflect it. Fire. Deeply emotional and even headstrong and brash at times. Yet this... elegant woman was the source of this flame. Either way, I wanted to learn more. She took it and allowed me to follow her as she asked for my name, when I knew hers, yet not mine.

"Apologies. I am Ignis Imura. Fire Shaper of Kro Var and Matukai Student."

Following after the Miss Sol, She led me into the deeper parts of Kaleth. The library or knowledge center of the Je'daii. Likely being taken into the restricted area that only few were allowed to pass. That answered the less likely ability for the holocron to be stolen. With that, I did look around. Seeing artifacts that could have been hundreds of years or even thousands of years old, but were preserved very well. Her explanation of being empathetic made sense. That is why she had that very small moment of hesitation when taking the holocron. If she wanted to, I could have carried it for her, but she seemed fine for now.

"The Holocron holds skills over the elements through Shaping which is dark in nature. It was in previous ownership of a Sith Lord who tainted it. My apologies if that taint is what you feel. Would I have known that you were privy to the deeper emotions through the force, I would have dampened it."

Despite that, I reached out towards the holocron with the force, and attempted to draw the darkness into myself and to smother it with what little I knew about hiding the force within ones self. Likely would have to make a box for it to do the same later on so those who walked by wouldn't feel the taint. Or I would have to transfer the information over to a new holocron so that it would not be so dark. That would be a later time.

"You mention work together to help me gain a better understanding and control over my imbalance. Mind if I ask what this will require of me?"

[member="Jyn Sol"],

 

[Lief]

"Ignis Imura..." she pondered for a moment, as they walked through the restricted section, past display cases filled with force relics, until they turned into empty pedestals waiting for new material such as that which hovered inches above her hand, "Like Nick Imura?" That was a name she had not heard in some time, but Jyn had been across the Galaxy countless times, she had walked the path of countless powers, big and small, from Sith to Atrisians, there were many big-name-families out there, and the Imura's were ones she had heard of, though admittedly not as much as some.

Whether that was a good thing or not would remain to be seen, but if this one was here to learn, to truly get his emotions under his own control, rather than pure brash impulse, then that was a good enough sign for her.

The case opened with a subtle gesture of her free hand, and moments later the holocron shifted inside, settling into place. Once the case was closed again, the sickening feeling which emanated from the relic seemed to lessen, and the woman let out an audible sigh of relief. Her skin seemed to glow, no longer appearing somewhat grey or ashen, as the fires which had threatened to spill over snuffed out.

Turning toward him she gave him yet another light, genuine smile.

"Worry not, my friend, I have dealt with far worse than a corrupt artifact. As for what this shall require of you, merely time, patience, and a willingness to try. The fact that you are here shows at least a small amount of self-awareness, which is good. Tell me, my friend, of these emotions you feel are at an imbalance. What typically brings them about? Do you see any patterns to it?"

Gesturing for him to once again follow, she began to lead him out of a different door, one in the back of the restricted section which required a series of different security measures to be bypassed. On the other side, a small walkway could be found, with more Je'daii flanking either side of both doors - that which led back into the Archive, and that which led out into the wider City beyond. Obviously it was to the latter that she led him.

"Have you had a chance to experience the jungles yet, Ignis? I find it easier to focus there, away from the business of Azar City." Not that this City was remotely noisy in comparison to most, it was still in its infancy after all.

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

I winced.

The mention of my fathers name held weight. She knew of him. That was like someone had punched me in the gut. I hated the fact that I was related to him. My promise that was given to my mother was to right the wrongs that he created. However, she did not know this. I stayed silent and very simply answered her.

"Not the best kind of relation I want to have."

Leaving it at that for now, I did notice that when the holocron was set inside the case, that the essence of it was muffled to be bearable for her. That was good and it made me feel a little better about the situation. She then spoke about it. Saying that she had dealt with situations far more darker. It made me think about what she had done to consider this little to nothing. Was she now scared of the darkness simply because she had felt it? The Je'daii were all about balance. So was she over compensating, or was she still trying to find her way like I was. Yet she was above me in rank. So many questions so little time. However, I would answer her first about what brought it up.

"My father, Nick, fed upon... darker emotions to strengthen himself. He taught me to do the same. I still do so to this day, but want to find other sources from which I can draw upon."

I walked up towards her as though I wanted to grab her and show her how much this meant to me, but I stopped. One, that would be a breach of her own personal space, and secondly, that was my emotions controlling my actions. I couldn't allow that. I shook my head and took two steps back. She then walked away and started to lead us onward. Speaking about the jungles would be a better place to concentrate. Nodding my head, my only thoughts were of how she could trust me with her alone out there? And glad that we were going there because if I did happen to blow up or lose it, then I wouldn't hurt someone other than myself.... well maybe her as well, but I would do my damnedest to avoid that.

"I find myself fretting over the smallest of things. Thinking about.... specific people makes me feel a hateful fire in my chest. I know that emotions are unavoidable. I know that these emotions are okay, I just want to learn how to control them, and prevent myself from... blowing up."

I shook my head. Getting so worked up about this, that I did not even answer her question of being in the jungle. I shook my head as I walked behind the woman.

"I apoligise. I am getting worked up over this. No I have not had that pleasure yet. Is there a specific place in the jungle that you have in mind?"

[member="Jyn Sol"],

 

[Lief]

"You don't get to choose your parentage," she offered, with a soft voice filled with empathy, "And they do not get to define you. You are Ignis Imura, not Nick, not Morna, Ignis. The very fact that you are here with us on Aurum, seeking to learn control, tells me all that I need to know, my friend. If we judged everybody on the actions of their ancestors, on the decisions of their family, then everybody would be damned in some way or another."

She continued to walk as she spoke, not at all unnerved by the way that he had so quickly walked toward her, she had sensed his intent, there wasn't much you could keep from an Empath, but she had trusted him to make the right decision. Which, of course, he did. By now the sun beat down on them, and the scents and sights of Aurum awaited them.

"Emotions are not inherently good or bad, light or dark, anger and frustration has its purpose just as much as love, or compassion, or understanding, or joy... The trick is not to suppress what you are feeling, nor to focus solely on that one thing, but to find a balance within. Hate is understandable, as is anger. Anger has its uses. It can cleanse like a fire... The words of a Je'daii from millennia ago. You are human, sentient, while you may feel one thing you simultaneously feel others. Know when utilizing your emotions is beneficial, and with purpose, and when it is simply holding you back, weighing you down. All of this is, of course, easier said than done, but there are techniques and methods which can help."

With a wave of her hand she bade him to keep up as they made their way through the City and out into the jungle beyond. Thankfully the Archive was on the edge of the City, else that in itself might have taken up most of their day. Soon enough they were engulfed in greenery, and a more serene and calm aura cascaded over them from the planet itself. Untouched by taint, even after all the Vong had done to it. Reborn anew.

"You have no need to apologize, friend, understanding and realizing when it is happening is the first step toward resolving an issue. Who are these people who fill you with a rage, Ignis? Perhaps we can work on that first. It is easier to have a target to focus on, than an abstract thought, after all."

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

I was completely taken aback with the knowledge that this woman had within her. She was near my own age, yet had a wealth that showed she had been through much more than from looks alone. It seemed that many of the members within the Je'daii order were this way. It shows to me that these were people that I could trust or even call upon should a need arise. However, before I could ever call upon them, I knew I needed to prove myself to them. They were gambling with my life as I was still considered a part of the Sith Empire. I could flip on them at any moment. Taking a deep breath for a moment, I looked up to see that Jyn was motioning for me to keep up with her. I quickened my pace for a few moments to reach her.

The question came as to what causes the imbalance within myself. My father and lineage was a clear one. She already knew that. However, I felt like that was just the outlet I had been using for so long, that it just covered up what was really killing me from the inside. Still walking for a moment, I thought deeply as she continued to lead me on.

"My father. Its not that he wasn't there. I have never felt like he really was the one who should have raised me. I feel no connection to him. I know that he has the truth, but he won't share it with me for some reason. For that, I hate him. I loath him."

Lexa, my mother always seemed to look at me differently than my brother and sister. She was almost carefree around them. Yet for me, she always had a soft spot for. Protecting me and wanting to look over me with such conviction. Caleo always told me that she was completely heartbroken when I left. Almost like part of her soul was missing. Was I different from the rest of my family in some regard? Did everyone know about it but myself?

"I feel alone even when I am with my family. I hate that. A family should be tightly knit. Not torn apart by secrets."

After I was speaking, I stopped suddenly as I was just about to run into a tree. I was so engrossed within myself that I wasn't watching where my feet were being placed. I scoffed and a disheartened chuckle at myself for my clumsiness. Looking at Jyn in a sheepish grin, I followed after her once more.

"I am confused in a world that I cannot control. I guess, me learning to control myself in all aspects, is a way for me to deal with it."

[member="Jyn Sol"],

 

[Lief]

Her steps led the both of them to a clearing; it wasn't too far from the City, too deep in the Jungle, and yet the general din of the population was obliterated all the same. A fallen tree served as a place to sit, though the ground was soft and mossy and worked just as well if not better for what she had planned.

Dutifully, respectfully, she listened to all he had to say regarding his Father, his family, his inability to control himself, his emotions, his power, the actions of those around him.

All things she could identify with. All things she had overcome.

"I cannot claim to have all the answers," she told him, as she lowered herself into a seated position upon the mossy ground, "I do not know a single thing about my birth parents, and for the longest time I resented them for that fact... So in a way I understand how you are feeling, your frustrations. And nobody here is going to tell you to stop feeling that way. As I've already said, it's all about managing your emotions. Your reactions."

Gesturing for him to also sit, she offered a light smile.

"It may seem cliche, it may be things you've heard before, but the first technique we can use to try and ease your emotional instability is meditation. Both with and without the Force... I'd like you to try, close your eyes and focus. Breathe, and clear your mind. If it helps you can utilize the Force to aid in this, but it's not necessary. Not for this, at least."

After a while, she opened her own eyes to look at him. She felt loathed to break the silence, but all things had to come to an end at some point.

"I want you to practice this. Daily. I don't care for how long, just try to make it a habit at the end of a long day to remove all of the negativity you've accumulated, to sort through any thoughts you've had, anything which might have happened to you during the day which you need to assess. Once you're better versed at this technique, we can move on to something else."

[member="Ignis Imura"]

 

[Ignatius]

I stayed silent. Jyn leading my further towards this place that she had in mind. Leading to a clearing. A fallen log is where Jyn chose to sit down next to. Sitting upon a bed of grass and moss to call her area. Kneeling down, I felt the moss with my hand. Soft and very gently moist from the crushing of the formation of it's skin. Breathing in and back out as Jyn continued to speak. Understanding to an extent and maybe even more so to what I was feeling. Even explaining her own situation of lacking a family that she could call upon. Taking this moment to think over her words, it made some sense as to why she felt the same way I do.

I felt as though I couldn't call upon them because they were never really there. I didn't have their support. She on the other hand, couldn't have the chance whatsoever to call upon them. To seek them out, or to find a way to have them in her life. I was close to feeling pity for her, but she was not the kind of person I gave that too. She had become stronger from it. I could clearly see that with the way she walked and carried herself. She had overcome this bump in the road.

Indicating for me to sit, I did so. Resting myself upon the ground. I kept my back straight and up as I looked over to her. Instructions flowing from her lips as a natural teacher of the arts. She knew exactly what she was doing. Following her example, I breathed in and held my breath. Letting it gather all of the stress over the day, and then releasing it. I slowly could feel how many could meditate and calm themselves. I continued this process. Letting the fresh air and soothing sounds of the jungle enter my form. Feeling all the life around me. Feeling both the brightness of life, and the darkness of death. The air flowing gracefully, yet the violent breaking and destruction of the same tree that felt the wind. Balance in everything.

Opening my eyes as Jyn spoke, she gave the task to me to become more versed in this. To learn how to center myself and my emotions within myself both with, and without the force. Nodding my head to her. She did state we would do more in the future, but after I have done this.

"Understood. I believe I will continue for now. It's very... relaxing."

Breathing in, and back out, I turned to her once more as she sat.

"Thank you for aiding me. I assume you have much work to do with your position? If you are required elsewhere, I think I can find my way back to the city."

She was a busy person. Considering that she did give me the task right away and I had interrupted her and her work, I could only assume she needed to get back to it. I was not rude nor rash against her with my words. Simply offering as I understood the situation. I can learn this over a period of time while she performed her own duty within the Je'daii order.

I knew I was getting one step closer to reaching this balance that Jyn seemed to control. I didn't want to learn to beat her, but to beat myself. To show to myself, my past, and future self, that I can do what I set before me.

[member="Jyn Sol"],