First Reply Jutrand Jedi Academy: The Trouble With Love - First Reply

[Samatharis]

​

JNuan's Thai Kitchen
Planet Jutrand, CIS Space

Jutrand was a metropolitan planet. Home to much of the sector's trade infrastructure. Located just beyond the Expansion Regions, off the Hydian Way Galactic Trade Route, and just a bit G-Northeast of Eriadu; it saw a good share of galactic visitors. Many of which found the planet to be a very modern comfort. Even if it was located so very very far from the galactic core.

Samatharis had joined the Jedi Academy recently and was taking some time to introduce herself to the daily life of a Jedi Knight. Alas, the latest lesson from Master Matheson about "having no attachments" had left a bad taste in her mouth. After all, she had just recently started dating again and was having quite a bit of good luck with it too.

"Ah yes. I'll have the lunch special. And the naun soup too. Yes. Thanks."

Sam finished ordered lunch and put her menu back down on the table. She sat on the balcony overlooking the busy Temple District of the city. The happy restaurant was situated on the tall hillside of the long valley and, as such, had a terrific view of downtown. Even with all the sky cars and busy afternoon traffic, it was a fantastic place to spend the afternoon, and it smelled terrific too.

Now, Sam was supposed to be meeting an associate of hers from the Temple to discuss a lost holocron she had found a few days ago. An easy work chat over food, I suppose. Alas. She had just received a surprise text message from one of her most recent blind dates. Apparently he was close by and wanted to have lunch again? And, as she pursed her lips and played with her phone in both hands; she just wasn't quite sure of what to do?

"Mm. Poo. Should I tell them I've got a business lunch right now or? Should I cancel out and tell him to come straight over? ...Mm. Decisions, decisions?"

She checked the time on her phone once more. Ten minutes. She didn't have much time left to decide.

"Crap." Sam thought aloud, "Why is it so hard to decide? Umph."

Her eyes darted across the busy street to the marketplace beyond. Biting her bottom lip as she squeezed her small phone with both hands. Unsure and half-frazzled. The white tablecloths of the balcony affair, beaming brightly in the afternoon sun.

~ Ding Ding! ~ And then she suddenly got a third text message!

"Gackt! What now!" She exclaimed! Half dropping her phone in surprise.

Sure enough. Another suitor. This one from last Tuesday.

"Ah! Oh no. It's him. Right now. That, other him. Gahh!"

She dropped her phone on the table in front of her, closed her eyes, and pretended to cry. Stressed out already over love and afternoon sandwiches. Gaghh! What was she gonna do?!

Well. I don't know but? Ya know what the trouble with love is these days? It just never quite goes all that smoothly, for a Jedi.

...

 

[Lao Pak]

"She crying. L9, what you sen heeer?" Lao Pak lowered the macrobinoculars from his face and frowned up at the droid holding a bloody com glass device. The droid shrugged.

"I simply suggested that our last meeting was quite thrilling and that I would love to meet with her again." Lao Pak rolled his eyes.

"Haiiiiiiya! Look at her L9! You tink she the kind of girl to even give nice guy a chance? Ugh. This is why droids sooo useless. Absolute garbage. I sometimes wish I still had those credits I spend on you."

"But sir, you didn't spend any-"

"SHHHH! Shush shush shush. Its time I go. You already karked up preem opportunity. Now I have to do all the work."

It took less than 5 minutes for the surprisingly lithe, if not a little plump smuggler slash bounty hunter to make his way down the skyrise apartment building and to the dining place his target was sitting. He ignored the serving droids and walked in, his bantha leather spacers jacket zipped up over a yellow turtle neck. His trousers had grease and oil stains and he smelled slightly of fish. Probably from the Nautolan he'd killed to get the Jedi's number.

Sheesh. Killing Jedi in love. Not a pretty process. He wished that L9 was a little more graceful and clean with his up-close murdering.

He plopped down, he didn't give her a chance to say anything and set a holochron and the nautolan's comlink on the table and began to speak calmly, though his strange mix of Outer Rim lingo and Atrisian accent still bled through despite slowing down his normal speech speed.

"Listen. I go thru a lot to get this holochron and com link, but the thing is, my buyer want more holochrons. I hear you make it your business to find. Give me info and I tell you who kill your Nautaloan friend....And I don't release wideo of what he do with head tentacles. I have very good sniper on the rooftop across from us. Please don't look." he slid another datapad on the table. "Just transfer data you get from your new date friend here." He stood up.

"Or kill me with your mind. I heard only Sith do that but...I guess Jedi could too. I'll give you cut and find you new date. Better than Nautolan."

He waggled his eyebrows and winked from behind his shades.

Samatharis

 

[Samatharis]

Once upon a time, using such an accent would have accounted amongst the greatest sins of prehistoric racism. Alas, such was limitation of adventuring in a genre filled with bad 80's tropes and bingeing with the emotional intelligence of an over-privileged white dude from California. Heck, even the planet Atrisia had enough of stereotyping problem as it was. I mean, representation of American Minorities in popular media is rough bro. Where's the love, huh? Where is the love?

Luckily. Sam's writer had a hell of a sense of humor.

"What did you do to Chad!" Samatharis almost shouted!

After all. If you can look past all the creepy face tentacles, the terribly repressive religious family order, and the bad reputation for giving amazing head, Nautolans can be quite the romantics. Just sayin'.

"And if you think I'm giving you one more thing, you are so..."

~ Honk Honk! ~

She was livid but the sudden sound of honking, brake rotors, and bad parking drowned out her seething reply.

~ Honk Honk! ~ Like the sound of a traffic jam washing over them. A crappy old car pulled up to the curb just outside and frog-man holding flowers and a tiny blue holocron got out.

"...Jerry?!" Sam balked in reply. Almost rising up, right out of her seat. How had he found her too?!

The frog-man dusted himself off and swaggered his way up the restaurant's front steps. Sam's eyes riveted to his watery approach. Then suddenly turned, back to Pak.

Sure enough. He'd noticed the newly arriving holocron too.

"No." She stammered quietly.

Alas. Just as Samatharis was about to interrupt. A small frog-woman jumped from her corner table and leapt to embrace the flower-holding, frog-man. It seems poor Jerry, really got around the pond. If ya know what I mean.

"How dare he..." Sam fumed with sudden jealousy and betrayal. Then slapped the tablecloth with both hands.

"Hey! You wanted more holocrons!" She threw his datapad back in his face, "Well there's your holocron! Ha! Right there!"

Frog-man Jerry suddenly turned to notice the hub-hub coming from the other side of the restaurant and instantly recognized Sam. His frog-man's jaw went slack with surprise. Even as his new date embraced him with a hug. His large bulbous eyes seemly shocked and defensive, all at once.

~ Wubuljubyama! ~ He cried!

: rough translation : "Wait! It's not what it looks like!"

Sam narrowed her eyes from across the restaurant.

Because if Pak didn't kill him. She was most certainly considering it.

Lao Pak

 

[Lao Pak]

The sound of a repulsor engines screamed to a halt just across the way from the eatery. One of those odd Frog people stepped out of the busted up repulsorcraft carrying flowers and...A holochron. Lao Pak leaned forward, his sunglasses falling an inch down the bridge of his nose, his mouth hanging open. Did the Jedi normally work with such fools? Either way, easier for him. His bewilderment became a smirk and he nodded to the beautiful Jedi appreciatively.

"Keep the pad. Maybe you have use for it later." She seemed to be on the verge of attacking him when another Frog LADY jumped into the arms of the Frog MAN. Ouch. He wasn't into most Reptos, really anything that wasn't near-human, but he wasn't going to judge. Life was hard for a Jedi he guessed and he'd seen enough of PlayHutt Holo Magazine to know what those tongues could do. He shuddered at the thought.

But luckily for him he just secured a new contract. He had one foot on the railing when he paused.

"I'll allow it," he said, as he shook his arms forward, deploying the two Veshet hidden blasters he kept up his sleeves at all times. "But this is separate job from Holochron. You want Frog boy dead, you pay like everyone else. Standard fee is 3000 GA Credits or the equivalent in New Imperial or Corellian chit. Preem?" He tapped a button under his sleeve and the datapad on the table lit up with contract info. He wanted the 'chron anyways but it would be nice to get paid.

"6000 if you want the droid's help." He vaulted the railing and landed with a soft thud, taking aim at the Froggy Couple.

"Hey! Hey! L9, shot the frog!"

"Copy that sire."

The bolt seared through the flowers as the bolt pierced the man's back. The woman screamed and Lao Pak made a dash for the falling Holochron, shooting at the ground to make drivers pause. It was pandemonium in the streets. Local security would be here soon.

"Not THAT Frog L9, I meant the lady one!"

"Sire," came the curt reply over his com, "My sensors and databases are not adequetly updated to differenciate between this species' sexes and you were unclear on you-"

"Haiiiiya L9, the PINK one!" Didn't matter. She was hopping away....Right towards the Jedi. Not his problem anymore, though he should update the pad to double the fee since L9 did end up taking the man out. When he got to the man he was crawling on the street, inching towards the Holochron.

"This will be a very nice payday." He put two bolts in the Frog man's head.

 

[Samatharis]

Jerry got what Jerry deserved. No Frog-man cheats on Samatharis and lives to spawn about it.

~ Blargkkkgghrickt! ~ The pink frog screamed as Pao Dak, or Dao Dak, or whatever his freaking name was... Fired two more morning-glory-brain-splattering-fireworks displays into poor Jerry's frog-shaped head. Painting him all over the hostess, and beyond.

:rough translation: "omg?!" :maybe:

"HEY?!" Sam shouted!

Pak was making a mess of the city and Jedi didn't just sit around eating nuan soup while terrorism was swan diving around them. No. Jedi stop that crap. Pronto!

Yet. As Sam flipped over the table like an acrobat, sending her utensils flying in the process, she dismounted with a sudden crash into the pink frog woman's hopping, terrified retreat. Smash! Both women went flailing to the ground.

Likewise, in the chaos. Pak's blinking datapad went flying, forks exploded like landmines, many appetizers were sm'ushed, and several other tables where damaged or toppled over. As Sam fell one way and Pinky the Frog fell the other. Both females becoming somewhat obscured to the certifiably insane amount of sniper fire their weather forecast was now experiencing.

Luckily. Someone had kicked the blue holocron poor Jerry had lost and it quickly scuffled across the carpet and more towards the entrance doorway. Alas. Just in time for Sam's other date to arrive and swiftly hover over it.

"Sam!" the handsome Cathar male called out into the chaos! "Sam! Where are you?! I'm here! Sam darling?! Where are you, my love?!"

Precious as a tiger, Talkon Pride of Lioness' Fall, bravely asserted himself. Going even so far as to stand directly over the blue holocron as patron after terrified patron rushed past him. Out in the chaotic streets.

"Sam!" He shouted! Gold fur billowing in the wind. Dashing as ever. Handsome as the sun.

"Talkon?!" Sam's head popped up from behind an overturned table.

~ Bla'kon?! ~ Pinky the Frogs head darted up from behind a cabinet.

:rough translation: "Talkon baby?! Is it really you?!"

"Samantha!" The Cathar gushed at the frog woman's sudden appearance. Overjoyed to see his one true love. Still alive and...

~ Frap! ~

The pink frog ladies head exploded. Just like a water balloon.

"SAMANTHA! NO!"

"TALKON! NO!" Samatharis pointed over his shoulder!

"Samatharis?! Yesss?" Talkon balked with surprise and sudden horror? Wait. Hadn't he gone on a date with her last week? What the fk?

"TALKON! LOOK OUT! THE HOLOCRON!"

The Tiger-man's foot almost stepped on the small blue cube as he spun around to see what on earth she was pointing at!

Wait...

"...Are?" The fuzzy fellow's gaze snapped immediately to the sunglasses, "...Are those Artrisian?"

"TALKON! NOOO!"

Lao Pak

 

[Lao Pak]

Lao Pak looked at Sam and shrugged.

"What?!" he shouted over the sound of the ensuing chaos. Hadn't she just asked him to kill the Froggy bastard? More people came. Another lvoe triangle. The pink frog's head exploded, a bolt from L9. FINALLY, he killed the right frog.

"You just asked Lao Pak to kill frog man, now you mad?! You betta still pay Jedi! Lao Pak spend a loooot of credits to get here and kill that Nautolan-" OOp. Did he just let that slip? Uhhh. Better grab that holochron and bolt.

"Excuse me sir," he shot the Cathar with a stun bolt and scooped up the holochron, and tried to bolt away.

Samatharis

 

[Samatharis]

Samatharis watched her Tiger-man-friend get zapped and Lao Pak make his getaway. She wanted to chase him down and recover the holocrons but, she wasn't sure where the sniper was, and she still had friends to look after.

So it was that Lao made his escape. Leaving Samatharis to tend to the wounded and answer questions of law enforcement. It was going to be a long night indeed.

Oh.

And she didn't pay Pak squat.

The End.

Lao Pak