Private It's been far too long!

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Naboo
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: None
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Aiden Porte

It had been far, far too long since the last time that Dreidi had seen Aiden. Which had things even more awkward for the witch since she wasn't sure if she had been avoiding him or if he had been avoiding her or if it was just the galaxy conspiring against them with too much other things going on. Dreidi was juggling a lot in her life, raising a son, living on Naboo and Dathomir, training a student and just offering general educations on Dathomir for other witches. It was a lot and she was sure that Aiden was going through similar things in his life. Dealing with similar burdens, bar the raising of a child. That one seemed to be an issue that was only hers in their shared friend groups. For the moment at least, she suspected it wouldn't be just herself as a parent for much longer.

However, a break had finally been found in the mix of everything going on and while tensions were definitely building. Dreidi knew that there would always be something on the horizon that could impact them. So, she reached out the Aiden to meet up, mentioning explicitly that she figured they needed to catch up and discuss where they stood since the kiss. Dreidi thought about beating around the bush but decided against it. To her, being blunt and upfront about what needed to be discussed ensured everything was clear and avoided heartbreak over mixed signals.

Wearing a casual outfit, Dreidi had thought over her look for several hours, wondering if the outfit would be appropriate or setting up too many expectations. It was infuriating how simple clothing could create such anxiety and frustration within a person. However, she was now outside a cafe, looking around for where Aiden might be though waiting patiently as she could. The witch had arrived a little early.

 

[Aiden Porte]

Dreidi Xeraic
​

Theed was kind that morning, sunlight softened the canals, and the breeze off the river carried the scent of water lilies and polished stone. Aiden felt it more than saw it, the familiar calm wrapping around him as his steps echoed against the cobbled walk. It had been some time since he'd taken the path to this particular café, and longer still since he'd been on his way to see Dreidi. The thought tightened something faint and uncomfortable beneath his ribs.

He'd told himself that life simply happened. That between missions, training, and just so much more than all that had happened. His Father, his Knighting and the continuing ventures into the core worlds, there was never a right moment. But excuses, no matter how reasonable, had a way of hollowing out intent. Dreidi had always deserved more honesty than that.

The corner turned, and there she was, early, as he might have guessed. The same poise, the same restless energy he remembered. He paused a step before reaching her, long enough to let the noise of passing speeders and chatter from the nearby tables fold around them. He remembered back, long ago to the kiss that had pierced them both, it was shared between the two.

He couldn't dance around this, not anymore. He had to say what he wanted, what he didn't want and however that affected him in the future he would have to deal with those choices.

"Dreidi," he greeted, voice carrying the faint rasp of the morning. A small smile followed, one that didn't quite reach the depth of his eyes but tried nonetheless. "You look well. I wasn't sure if the message meant catch up or interrogation."

The tease was soft, the kind that came from habit, though his gaze searched hers a moment longer, measuring whether he had the right to use it still.

He gestured to the table she'd claimed, settling opposite her once she nodded. "It's been too long," he admitted finally, the words quieter, heavier than his opening. "And that's on both of us."

He took a seat opposite of her and he showed a smile. "So, how are you?"

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Naboo
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: None
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Aiden Porte

When she spotted Aiden, there was a swell of emotions that built in her chest, there was excitement but there was a sensation of caution and wariness. While she wanted this meeting to go well, to be the start of something that had been long something she had secretly coveted. There was every chance that Aiden was not as interested. That his feelings towards Dreidi did not match her own. She was acutely aware of this being an issue since there had been several failed attempts of romance in Dreidi's past. People who flitted in and out of her life and never around long enough for the deep emotional connection that she desired.

That she needed for an actual relationship.

So, Dreidi was ready to face the possibility of this when Aiden was standing before her. Seeing the smile not reach the eyes, the heaviness behind his words. Dreidi settled into a seat and could feel Grisial beside her. The Vulptex able to sense the nerves, the dread that sunk her heart as this didn't feel like the Aiden she knew. The one that she had been around so much. Nerves gnawed at the inside of her cheek as she thought about what to say. Calling out his attitude would not be beneficial to Aiden and she did not wish to embarrass either of them publicly. That had not been the intention when she suggested meeting at a cafe.

No, she needed to keep cool and measured with this. Since it was clear that this was not a meeting of two people desiring a next step in their relationship.

"I..." Dreidi didn't really know what to say. She was feeling like a teenager all over again. It was silly and stupid but she couldn't hold onto the idea that the kiss ruined something that didn't need to be ruined.

She never wanted to lose Aiden, Dreidi couldn't handle losing him. "Been busy... I guess.... Sorry." Dreidi stated, her voice stumbling and trailing off before she looked up to Aiden.

"Please... just... just say what you need to say. I can't bear this tension." Dreidi pleaded as she chewed nervously on her bottom lip, really unsure of what was going to happen next.

 

[Aiden Porte]

Dreidi Xeraic
​

Aiden drew in a quiet breath, eyes drifting toward the edge of the table before finding hers again. The weight behind them wasn't harsh—it was steady, careful, as though each word he was about to speak needed to be chosen like stones across a river.

"I've thought about that day more times than I should admit," he began softly, his voice carrying the kind of tired honesty that came when pretense had finally run out. "And the truth is… I'll always love you, Dreidi. You've been a constant in ways I can't even name. You've stood beside me when others didn't. You've been… light."

He paused, thumb brushing over the rim of the cup before him though he hadn't taken a sip. "But.....not the way you deserve. That kiss—" His voice broke faintly, enough to make him look down for a moment, "—it was a mistake, but it wasn't. It came from a place that was honest, in the moment. I was unraveling. I'd just lost, and...."

Aiden shook his head as he was disgusted with himself, maybe not now, but for who he was in that moment. It wasn't purposeful, but grief ravaged his mind.

Aiden's jaw tightened before he could stop it. The words he'd just spoken tasted like ash. For all their truth, they sat wrong, like something spoiled. He dragged a hand over his face, breath coming slow, heavy, as if he could scrub away the guilt gathering behind his ribs.

"I hate this," he muttered, voice rough with something that wasn't anger but close to it. "Force, I hate this."

His hand fell back to the table, fingers curling against the wood. "You didn't deserve to be tangled up in my grief. You were trying to be there, and I—" He broke off, shaking his head. "I used that. Maybe not consciously, not to hurt you, but I reached for you because I couldn't face how empty it all felt. I told myself it was comfort, connection, but it was selfish."

"I didn't know how to be without something, or someone, to hold onto. You were there, and you've always mattered to me, more than I said. But what I gave you that day… it wasn't fair."

He finally met her eyes again, the faintest hint of sorrow softening the lines of his face. "You deserved someone whole. And I was… surviving. Reaching. I don't want to pretend it meant nothing, because it did. But not in the way it should have."

"I should've known better. I do know better, now. I was supposed to be the one who could read the currents, who didn't mistake kindness for something else. But when everything in me was breaking, I let you become part of that collapse."

Aiden's hand twitched slightly, as if he wanted to reach for hers but couldn't quite justify it. "I don't want to lose what we do have. I just… can't lie to you about what I don't."

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Naboo
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: None
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Aiden Porte

Dreidi was silent, she allowed Aiden to say everything that he needed to say, everything that he wanted to say. It was a string of reasons that in his mind he felt was good enough reason for them to not pursue things further. She allowed the words to be hang in the air as she nodded her head, showing that she had been listening and that she was taking in everything that Aiden had stated. It was easy to focus on the negatives, to empathise with the idea of grief clouding the judgements and that this was a moment of weakness that couldn't be pushed further.

But something stuff in Dreidi's mind. Something that Aiden had focused on.

"Why do you get to tell me who I deserve to be with, Aiden? Do I not get a say in the matter?" She looked up, her golden eyes locked with Aiden's eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest. "If you don't want a relationship or you felt that the friendship between was too much to risk pursuing a relationship, that is one thing. Because that is your choice for you. But you are telling me who I deserve to be with. Who I should be with. But don't I get to have a say in that?"

Breathing in deeply, "Aiden... Aiden, you might not realise this but I have loved you for many years now. I teased you and flirted with you the best that I could because you were the one person whose attention I wanted the most. Seeing you with others, it drags out jealousy in me that I have never felt before." Dreidi was not going to hold back now, she had done that too long. Hoping that Aiden would see the things she was stating now. "So, you might say that I deserve to be with someone whole. Someone who is worthy of my attention and desires but you can't choose that for me."

"I can't even choose that for me. Who I love is just who I love, and I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you." Dreidi stated firmly, "whether or not you reciprocate that is entirely your choice and I can only just hope you will." Dreidi let out a sigh, deep and heavy with emotion, "that kiss might be a mistake from your view but it was everything for me. It... it was everything I had wanted for years and more." There was a sadness in her eyes at the idea that Aiden saw it as a mistake but she understood why.

She looked at Aiden, "just because you feel broken, you don't feel worthy, that doesn't mean you aren't the right person for me. There will always be hardships in our lives, there will be losses that we will both face in the future that will shatter us. I want you to be the person to help me through those times and I want to be the one that puts your pieces back together as well." Timing was never going to be right and there were always going to be things that hurt or harmed a person.

Dreidi just wasn't going to let her stop from pursuing relationships anymore.

 

[Aiden Porte]

Dreidi Xeraic
​

Aiden sat in silence for a long moment after Dreidi finished, her words cutting deep and leaving his chest tight. His gaze lingered on her, soft and conflicted, as if he were searching for the right place to begin. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet but steady.

"I hear you." he said. "And I don't doubt for a second the truth in what you've just told me. I know your love is real, Dreidi. I've felt it… I've relied on it more times than I can count. And I'll never pretend it hasn't meant everything to me."

He exhaled, eyes flicking away toward the passing flow of people before returning to hers. "But the man I was then… the one you kisse, he was broken in ways I didn't understand. He was lost, and he was clinging to anything that felt like life. You gave me that breath when I couldn't find it on my own. But I'm not that man anymore. Loss, time, and the choices I've made since then…they've changed me. I've had to grow, to stand in places I never thought I could. And now…" His throat tightened, but he forced the words through. "Now I can't lie to you about what's left."

His hand curled on the table, restless, aching to reach for her but staying where it was. "I love you, Dreidi. That will never change. But it isn't that kind of love. It isn't the love that can build what is asking for. Not the way you deserve."

A faint, pained smile tugged at his mouth, almost apologetic. "You've been one of the most important people in my life, and you always will be. But the love I carry now… it's different. It's steady, it's loyal, it's grateful beyond measure. Just not the kind that leads us forward together in the way you hope. And I won't trap you in something less than the truth."

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Naboo
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: None
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Aiden Porte

"No one remains who they are forever, Aiden. I expect you to be different, to have changed over time. That's fine and as long as you are happy, healthy and not hurting yourself, then I will always love and accept who you are because that is all you need to be." Dreidi stated, but she knew that there had already been a decision made in Aiden's mind. It was something he had decided for them, it was not something that they had agreed to and there was not going to be anything that Dreidi could say to sway his mind. Aiden seemed stubbornly determined to maintain that this could only be a friendship and that exploring anything more would be a bad idea.

But Dreidi wasn't sure if it was because his feelings were not there for that or he was not interested in her in that romance setting. Or if Aiden was doing his usual thing of pushing back to protect others without thinking about what it was they wanted, what they were willing to take on. Dreidi didn't care whether or not he was worthy in his mind because he was always worthy in her mind.

"If you truly don't feel interested in me, if there is no desire to be with me further than just a friendship. That's fine. It sucks, I won't lie, but I can't make you fall in love or be attracted to me." Dreidi shrugged her shoulders, not trying to show any hurt or disappointment, that would be unfair to Aiden. "However, don't think for a second that you are unworthy of my love, of anyone's love. Don't think for a moment that I would sit here and allow you to deny us a relationship because you are scared of hurting me. Nothing you can do will hurt me."

Letting out another slow sigh, "but the choice is yours whether or not we date. Since you know my feelings for you and I have told you that I want to be with you." Dreidi stated firmly putting the ball in his court on this matter. Dreidi wasn't sure what to do after the decision was made. Felt weird to just sit and stay but it would also be too rude to just leave as well.

 

[Aiden Porte]

Dreidi Xeraic
​

Aiden's heart ached as she spoke, every word landing like truth he didn't want to face. There was so much grace in her voice, so much strength in the way she offered him love even as it wounded her. It was the kind of compassion he'd always admired in her and feared.

He leaned forward, elbows on the table, gaze steady though the weight behind it softened. "You've always seen more in me than I ever thought was there." he murmured.

For a long moment, he said nothing. The silence wasn't cold it was thoughtful, searching. "It's not that I think I'm unworthy of love," he went on quietly. "Not anymore. I've done enough living, enough losing, to understand that we all carry scars and still deserve to be cared for. But this… what we have… I've come to see it as something I can't shape into what you're asking for. It's not fear, not really. It's knowing that if I said yes out of guilt or nostalgia or hope that maybe the feeling would grow into something more, it would be a lie. And you don't deserve lies not from me."

He reached out then not to take her hand, but to set his palm near hers, close enough to feel her presence. "You mean more to me than I can ever explain. That's the truth. But forcing this to become something else… it wouldn't help either of us."

His voice dropped lower, rough with regret. "If you can still stand to have me in your life, I'll always be here as your friend. And if not, I'll understand. But the choice I've made isn't about running, it's about finally being honest with you, and with myself."

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Naboo
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: None
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Aiden Porte

The answer was clear and it was direct. Dreidi nodded her head, she gave a small smile, "if those are your feelings then I must accept them. I can only hope that you find someone to be with and love." It was heavy and it hit her hard but it was good to hear. She couldn't just keep hoping that some day Aiden would see her, would love her like she dreamed of him doing so. No, at least now, she knew where she stood in his mind and all that needed to happen was for time to just pass so she could feel more comfortable being just his friend.

"I will always be your friend Aiden, that can't ever change." Rising from the chair, Dreidi knew that staying any longer in the cafe would break her and she couldn't bare to just break down in front of Aiden. That wasn't fair and it wasn't what she wanted either. Public crying was the last thing that Dreidi ever wanted to do. Better to just get home and allow herself to wallow in the feelings that she was holding back in the current moment. "I never needed you to be more than a friend to me. But I am glad to know how you feel about me and that you know I have felt about you." Dreidi stated honestly.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, "I might need some time to adjust my feelings but I will always be your friend and I will always support you. No matter what you do next. See you around Aiden Porte." Dreidi leaned down and kissed the top of his head before she exited the cafe. Needing to go home, needing to just taken in everything and figure out how to release the feelings she had for Aiden for so long now.

That was always going to be the hardest part.