Is This Where We Give It All Up?

[Connor Harrison]

Sera's question had been asked many times of Connor by many different people, but the answer could change daily depending on his mood, mindset or current situation. He guided the Twi'lek onto a wooden bride, more a walkway, that was built over a section of the stream and walked over a section of it. A couple of late afternoon fishermen were out under the walkway trying to catch a prize.

”I am originally from Anaxes, and I was with the Republic Jedi Order from a young age until my late teens. I unfortunately didn't quite listen to what I was being told, and it ended up one day with me falling from a mountain side on Rhen Var, losing my connection to the Force - or so it felt - and leaving because I thought that was it.”

As they walked, he told her about the hidden amulet of Ulic Qel-Droma that he had unintentionally come across as a Republic Jedi and made contact with on the mountain; his touch syphoned the Force power within the amulet but it was so powerful, it literally shut Connor's body and Force ability down, nearly killing him.

Walking to match Sera’s speed, Connor too called a few loose wet pebbles from the stream bed to toy with. The plopped out of the water and dripped over his hand as the two Masters played with their gift for something that was as easy as breathing.

”I didn't know what to do with myself and skirted between trying to be someone good, or resort to crime just to make a name for myself. Luckily, I stuck with the former and found myself surrounded with others who needed direction and the name Iella E'ron and the Silver Jedi came to me, so I pursued it. I ended up making contact with her, the former Grandmaster, and meeting the Order here on Voss as they were establishing the Temple. I devoted my time to help them and soon became one of them, and I've been here well over a decade now.”

Connor stopped and leaned on the wooden walkway, facing the Temple in the far distance.

”The Silver Sanctum, or Silver Jedi before the merger, works to the same goals as the Republic. I guess...I don't know, I think that we tend to do things a little different, or so I thought, in the way that we aren't afraid to get our hands a little dirtier; doing the jobs the pristine Republic's code won't allow them.”

He tapped his fingers in thought.

”Add to the fact we are established more outside Republic space covering an area they aren't really familiar with, it's like we've got this side of the galaxy under our watch. But, at the end of the day, we are all after the wrong thing, but I feel certain methods and actions are more tolerated in the Silvers than they would be elsewhere. I know a lot of people here found themselves to be failures or hurting in someway; this place gave them purpose and a reason to use their failings and hurt for good, to empower them and let them make a difference.”

He turned to Sera with a little shrug.

”I could be wrong, but that's what I feel about them.”

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Sera listened as they walked, her eyes wandering from left to right to take in the sights while her ears processed the information that Connor provided about his past, and of the Silver Order. It seemed that they had relatively similar ideologies, though the Republic seemed to keep to the traditional system of belief, whereas the Silvers skirted the boundaries, something that could tip the scales in their favor at times, but also danced a dangerous tango with the Dark Side.

"That is a very frightening story, one I am sorry you had to experience, though I'm sure you've heard the same condolences for every time you've shared it. But regardless, it's good that you were able to reconnect with the Force and find a place to continue learning, rather than find yourself among the unpleasant company that is kept around the galaxy on places like Nal Hutta and the smuggler's moon."

The girl sighed. The Silvers may be watching over a different area of the galaxy, but if the Sith continued to press through the Republic like it was, and managed to carve their space in two, the Mandalorians would likely fall on two fronts, between the Primeval and Sith, which would give a clear path into the Silver's territory thereafter. It was a rather bleak outlook, but one she couldn't help but recognize the more time dragged on.

"I fear that before long, the Republic won't be able to sustain a manageable defense against the Sith, and that will inevitably buckle the safety net that both the Mandalorians and Silvers have from the Sith. If that day comes, I pray the combined forces of the three governments can somehow work together to push them back and destroy them."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor tipped a grateful nod to Sera; she was right, he had heard it before, but it was still welcome. However he was in a place now where he was starting to see the error of some of his misguided ways, and was taking the steps to try and repair them.

She also spoke very wise words, far beyond her years, but very realistic.

”The Sith know what they were doing; they have a goal and a clear objective. The Republic and Silvers exist only as a barrier. And a barrier will collapse if beaten long enough. We don’t strive to expand or control the galaxy in a fair and just way, we just exist to repel the Sith from advancing. So who is ever really in control?”

He shook his head and sighed, walking now on a gravel path from the walkway that lead towards woodland and large farmers’ fields.

”Safe to say the way we are I think we’d have more chance in finding a place elsewhere; and by we and I mean ones like us. Maybe we will be the ones who blend into the background more and know when it’s time to retreat into the shadows until the right time to emerge stronger? Maybe you and I are the evidence of what the Republic and Silvers are becoming.”

Connor looked at her next to him.

”Broken.”

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Sera nodded a slow, understanding agreement to Connor. It was a pretty bleak outlook to have, but it was one that was becoming more and more evident as the time passed. Like the Jedi of old, they too knew that defeat was inevitable, and the risk to remain in the open was far too great, and thus went into an exile until such time that they could successfully present an opposition to the Empire.

"It's a difficult pill to swallow, for sure. But I think you are likely correct. The Republic has seen better times, but it has also suffered through much worse in the past. If it were to collapse again, my only hope is that when the time comes, they will be strong enough to truly exterminate the Sith, rather than to just send them into the far corners of space to repeat history all over once more. Perhaps instead, we should become the nameless hunters. The ones who serve no government, no Order, no council. To exist simply to stamp out every trace of the Sith we can."

She shrugged, it sounded like a noble gesture, one she could do on her own terms, with decisions made that would be meaningful to her, and hopefully have a lasting effect on the galaxy.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Making sure to stick to the gravel track that curled around Voss-ka and past the stretching forest that housed the Nightmare Lands and base for the Silver Shadows, Connor ambled slowly, listening, each word making sense.

”Funny isn’t it, how we all feel that we can make a difference, and we know people who think they can change things by doing something noble or destructive. But then years later it’s forgotten and new people stand where they stood and do it again. It’s one long cycle, and really I doubt we will ever be rid of the Sith just as much as they won’t be rid of the Jedi.”

He played with his hands, dictating with them.

”Sort of like a symbiotic relationship; one can’t live without the other. Which is strange. But true I guess. Once the Sith rule, what would they do? Turn on each other or have Sith who have a change of conscious and turn to the Light to try and repel them, and the process happens again.”

Connor laughed a little and shook his head.

”Makes you feel there’s no point, doesn’t it. Fancy retiring to some lush tropical planet in the Outer Rim and just see out our days on a beach and drinking Jawa Juice? May as well watch the galaxy turn in on itself in comfort at least!”

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

The Twi'lek had heard the philosophical speculation relating to the necessity of both sides to co-exist, yet be at odds with one another for eternity. She had hated that idea, not that she felt the burning desire to eliminate the dark side in its essence, but the results from which it produced. People with burning hatred and a lust for conquest. That was what she wanted to stop. She never quite understood why followers of the dark side were simply corrupt, did they understand that it was moreso a curse than a choice?

"It honestly does feel like there's no point in the grand scheme of things. If there's no way to stop the bloodshed and endless battles, perhaps simply not participating in them will spare the lives of more people than ever could be if one stood in their way? That's a melancholy way of thinking though, isn't it?"

Sera shrugged. She simply wasn't certain of anything anymore. Did any of it matter? And if so, who did it really matter to?

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor watched Sera as she talked, and slowed to a gentle stop as she gave her outlook.

”Look. If you don't fight the fight, then you have more chance of surviving than others you stand beside. That, or you stand a better chance not breaking under the pressure. If you DO fight, you have more chance of taking out a cog in the huge war machine of the Sith but risk getting yourself killed or hurting for it.”

He pursed his lips, raising his hands either side of him, palms out. He tipped them like a scale.

”Question you have to ask yourself my dear is what do you really care about now. Yourself,” a hand rose up, ”or everyone else.”

Maybe it was an unfair question, but Connor was learning you had to put yourself first sometimes before you lose sight of what and who you were.

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Pink legs halted as Connor paused, gesturing with his hands the theoretical scales while he offered her the options before her.

"It seems oddly selfish to say that one would prefer to remain out of the fight, let the galaxy right itself, and the chips fall where they may, doesn't it? I mean, IS there something I could do that may change the course of history and directly impact the future of millions, or billions of lives? I would like to think so, but I feel as though the probability of that is about as likely as landing a starfighter upside down on a moving asteroid while blind and deaf."

Sera shrugged. "Part of me wants to keep fighting, to thwart every single advance of the Sith, partially out of spite, partially to genuinely help. But then again, the other part of me just wants to live a normal life like most everyone else in the galaxy. So many people are so disconnected from the strife between the Republic and Sith that they will never know the differences between the two, for better or worse. Sometimes I wish that was the life I could lead, to be ignorant of it all."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Giving her a curious look, Connor dropped his hands and tapped his chin.

”You know, I did that once on an asteroid past Etti IV. Rather pleased with that landing.”

With a nod of the head, he motioned for her to continue, in order not to haver dwell too long.

”Sera, look, I know you’ve got a lot of fight in you. From when I first me you all those eons ago, you had a fire in you. It’s still there, I’m sure, and it would be a shame to lose it. I know you want to do good. Maybe you just need to do it on your terms, unless you want to give it all up here and now.”

He glanced over his shoulder to the Temple looming in the distance, as if it was calling for him to come home.

”Maybe you should just answer your call with the Force. Don’t fight it. Just let it in.”

Looking back to the Twi’lek, Connor tried to send out a comforting wave of empathy to her.

”You can always count on me if you want my help or someone to stand with.”

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]