Fenn watched as the team expertly moved out of the apartment, leaving him alone with the weight of his betrayal, treachery and deceit. It was not a good feeling. No, he did not want to serve the Black Sun any longer. But still, he had mixed emotions about throwing Mauve to the maelstrom of a vengeful Republic. Yes, they had nice platitudes and wonderful slogans, banners, royalties- but they had just sent a kill team across the galaxy. Their honey-coated words could not hide their effectiveness and violence.
The long arm of the law had reached out and grabbed Mauve. Fenn mulled over the justification in his mind of his betrayal. Yes, it was the right thing to do. Mauve was responsible for many deaths, kidnappings, murders, enslavements, thefts- all manner of crimes, some worse than others. And yet he had been loyal to her out of a fear of not belonging. But the more he saw the Black Sun, the more he realized he was not a trusted companion. He was a wildcard, an asset, a tool to use.
Just as she was.
And eventually, tools dulled and lost their edge. And were disposed of. He knew that was coming to him, as evident more and more. The Black Sun was not an organization based upon loyalty and fealty, it was a profit-motivated machine. Profit for power, power for profit. Slaves, murder, corruption, control. It was not a means to control, to enact the changes they want. They wanted simply to control, to manipulate and to own as much of the galaxy as possible for their own financial benefit. It was an easy system to see through. But, even he, had to admire the depths of which the Black Sun had festered in the galaxy. They were a force to be reckoned with, a standing army, with a large navy now. And- a Star Destroyer, as he heard. A real power on the stage of the galaxy now.
But, Fenn could not justify himself any longer. The wages and paychecks weren't enough. The "belonging" wasn't enough. The mask slipped as soon as Mauve saw that it was him that betrayed her. He was simply a tool, plucked for his skills, out of necessity, out of a need for a man like him to do the things he did. He was not their friend. They were not his. They were not his family. They did not care for him, did not want to help him.
So, as soon as he saw it- with a help from wise words from a foe, Fenn set in motion his plan.
And still, in victory, he found himself with an air of defeatism, of sadness, regret. He looked at himself in the mirror, seeing not the reflection, but a vision of himself. The one that he spoke to often, the true self. The one that lingered with him since the Dark Harvest. In one of Mauve's many mirrors in her home, his face, covered in a mixture of blood and warpaint, smiled back at him. A cruel, wolfish smile. Fenn was wearing a helmet. His helmet. This was not. This was not real. It was not really there.
"You've been a bad boy, Fenn." It said at him. It. Not him. It was not real. He knew it was not real. It was not a real entity, it was a hallucination. He grabbed his head and wished it away, as he often did.
"I'm not going anywhere, Fenn."
"Leave me be, voice. You're unwelcome."
"Is that any way to talk to you?"
REGRET
THE
WORDS
YOU
THINK
UNDO
THE
WORDS
YOU
SAID
"I do not need you nor are you wanted. You are a stain, a curse, an affliction. An amalgamation of myself that I wish free of." Then, the self in the mirror reached out, a hand escaping into reality, grabbing Fenn by the throat. Crushgaunt covered hands squeezed tightly on his exposed neck. He pushed back, as the figure terrifyingly crawled through the mirror, materializing into reality like he had never seen it do before. Always lingering on the edge of his mind, the voice would cry
"You don't deserve to think on your own. You have been pushing me away and away since time immemorial it feels like. And now that I'm here-"
A hand grasped further, tighter on Fenn's throat.
"You-
FIGHT BACK
Are.... MY SON FIGHT BACK
Not...
Here."
The sudden push away, and the figure was gone- he was gone, and the hand around his throat, was his. He blinked rapidly, collecting himself. He had an escape to make. He quickly left the apartment, and hoped to avoid the incoming swath of Black Sun troops that were no doubt already coming to kill him, or find out what was going on with their boss. Infact, he imagined there quite a great many number of people in the Black Sun that were suddenly concerned with the idea that the Republic had done such a daring raid.
And how compromised the treachery had gone, outside of Fenn. Fenn would not give them the chance to ask. He had places to be.
We.