Iridonian Weaponry (Feedback needed)

[Darth Ferus]

So, I've never made a company before. And now I actually want to get into this corporate scheme, in one way shape or form. Since starting here, I've always had a love for the underused completely vague warrior cast known as the Iridonians (Not the Zabraks. The guys you see in Kotor). Despite the lack of info, I find their mentality for bloodshed and violence very interesting. And while I want to make a faction and start up RP for the group, there's too little to go off in the past. But there is enough for me to start a company to make their outlawed weapons once again.

As such, the company below is a special order group making highly expensive weapons meant to tear people apart. Keeping true to the Iridonian want for bloodshed, most, if not all, of the weaponry will be highly damaging to unarmored targets.


And this is where the question and need for feedback comes in. Is the below good? Bad? I don't really know. What else could I add? Is there something off? Please chaos, help me.

[SIZE=10.5pt]Corporation Name:[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt] Iridonian Weaponry[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Headquarters:[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt] Tatooine[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Locations:[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt] Dune Sea, away from major cities.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Operations[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]: Weapon [/SIZE]manufacturing and development of weapons, currently special orders only.

[SIZE=10.5pt]Rationale[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]: Ferus has a lot of money from past bounties and other jobs. He wants to start something for the Iridonian warrior cast, and weapons seemed a good place to start.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Tier[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]: Tier One[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10.5pt]​[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10.5pt]Description[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]: Iridonian weaponry has been known throughout the galaxy as highly powerful, but most, if not all, of the designs were outlawed by most governments. However, Ferus chose to ignore the ban and open up a shop on the planet Tatooine shortly after the Netherworld [/SIZE]disaster[SIZE=10.5pt]. At the moment the shop is small, one building hidden within the Dune Sea, worked by only a handful of employees underneath the Zabrak.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Currently the most they can do is special orders for those who can pay enough, but the goal is to one day expand and bring the Iridonians back into the picture, or at least their legacy of their weapons.[/SIZE]

 

[Lord Ajihad]

However, Ferus chose to ignore the ban and open up a shop on the planet Tatooine shortly after the Netherworld disaster.

If you're looking for a time and place to do illegal stuff, i'd say you hit the bullseye.
[member="Darth Ferus"]

 

[Fabula Caromed]

Companies were never my specialty (I honestly just left them for Tyrin to worry about), but...

Tier: Tier One

With those two words, you can probably get away with a lot of stuff, as long as you're humble. There's nothing in this that I would deny it for, though the non-uniformity of the text would irritate me a little. It's largely just a guy operating a black market shop in the middle of burning nowhere. Nothing objectionable there.

 

[Magoo]

Well you got a big backer from me. Lookin forward to doin business with you

 

[Via Dolorosa]

[member="Darth Ferus"]

I don't know much about making a company myself...even though I've bounced the idea around in my head a few times. So the only feedback I can tell you is this: good luck with your venture. I'll be keeping an eye on its progress and maybe one day I'm ready to undertake such a project....I'll come to you for advice.

 

[Darth Ferus]

[member="Darth Venefica"]

If ya want a gun built to blow apart unarmored people, let me know.

Would be good business :3


Same to the rest of ya [member="Fabula Cavataio"] @Vi'kas Mirtis