Private In the Wake of Winter

[Makko Vyres]

MAKKO

Corazona von Ascania

The room was quiet save for the soft rhythm of monitors and the muted rustle of the Naboo breeze through open shutters. Sunlight filtered across the floor warm and golden. The breeze carried pleasant summery scents. He had tried to make it less like the sterile medical tang he hated waking up to. The weather was far removed from the cold, merciless snowfields of Arkania.

Makko sat slouched in the chair at her bedside, exhaustion set into his features. His eyes were fixed on her. He was unwilling to leave. If he dared to look away for even a second would the galaxy decide to steal her from him again?

His hand rested over hers, thumb brushing across her knuckles in a steady rhythm, grounding himself in the fragile proof that she was still here.

She was finally free to wake up. Cora had been placed into a heavy machine at first. Then into a bacta tank, but machines had still done the breathing for her. Makko had made something of a fuss about getting a screen placed in front of her bacta tank; she wouldn't have wanted to be seen like that.

When the medics had removed the last of the tubes - freeing her to breathe unassisted - he’d nearly wept. Now, as her chest rose and fell on its own, he held onto that sight like it was the only thing keeping him tethered. They had given her some drugs to slowly wake her. Now he just had to wait.

A faint movement pulled him forward. Her eyelids fluttered, lashes trembling against pale skin, and a small sound escaped her lips. Makko’s heart lurched.

“Cora,” he whispered. His voice was raw. “I’m here.”

Her eyes opened slowly. They were glassy with confusion, as though she were surfacing from a dream. He stretched down their bond and felt her emotions surface. She was alive and awake, not just an empty shell. He had been terrified that her body would heal but there would be little left of Cora inside it, so horrific had been her ordeal.

When their gazes met, the relief that surged through Makko nearly undid him. His chest tightened, a rush of warmth and grief colliding in his throat.

For the first time since the snow Makko let himself breathe.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora lingered the twilight space between sleep and awakening.

The bitter chill of the Arkanian mountainside had lingered on in unconsciousness. As her eyes fluttered open, they caught the warm golden hues of light spilling down the open window and across the tiled floor.

Blurry and uncertain, her groggy attention drew toward Makko, trying to make sense of the unfocused colors and lines. She didn't notice his hand atop her own because it had always been there. He had always been there, even when her mind had gone quiet. An intrinsic part of her, an extension of her own soul.

The scent of late summer and antiseptic lingered in the air. Cora drew it into her lungs with one slow, lethargic inhale.

Her neck lurched forward as she coughed. A dry, hacking sound that ignited irritated tissue. Being intubated had left her throat sore and dry.

On reflex, she reached for his hand, only to find that he already had her.

Cora had been silent for a long while. She felt little. Almost nothing, save for the occasional flicker between them that could've been simple background noise. Now, she was open to the swell of emotion that rolled down their bond.

Visually, she couldn't yet make out Makko's features. Cora didn't need to look at her husband to be able to see him.

"You never left," she rasped. Another breath, this one slightly deeper, exhaled with a slight wheeze.

"How…far gone was I…?"

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

MAKKO

Makko's grip tightened instinctively around her hand as she coughed. He reached for the glass of water at her bedside but when she spoke he froze. He felt a weight of fall away from his shoulders at the sound of her voice.

He gave a small sharp exhale that sounded like a laugh, though there was no humor in it.

"Only when I had to," he admitted. "You've been out of it for a while."

Her next question carved through him. How far gone?

His throat worked as he tried to swallow the lump rising there. He should have been prepared for this. Seeing her awake and hearing her voice again made him want to shield her from the weight of it all.

"Pretty far gkne," he admitted softly, voice trembling around the words.

He let his free hand drift to her cheek brushing hair from her skin. It was a familiar gesture and he needed the touch to anchor himself.

"Your lung collapsed. They had to put you on machines just to keep you breathing. You had heart surgery. Your body didn't want to heal up I... The doctors looked confused. "

He drew in a shaky breath. He forced himself to meet her gaze as she blinked against the light. If the doctors didn't understand it all, what chance did he have?

"Don't breathe too fast. I didn't understand everything but one lung still ain't working that well."

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora closed her eyes as Makko stroked her cheek. Even gentle, familiar contact ignited nerves that were both overstimulated and touch-starved at once.

Heart surgery. Lung damage. The doctors were confused…

In that dark space behind her eyelids, anchored in the loving hold of her husband, Cora tried to recall what had happened. Memories came in disorganized snippets, then the bitter cold as she was left on a snowy mountainside, lips blue, pulse barely a quivering thread.

Smoke curled and shifted around her until it reformed, solid, as a hand in her chest.

Cora's eyes snapped open and she sucked in a sharp, ragged breath. Makko was quick to steady her and offer her water, from which she sipped gratefully.

"I'm sorry," she murmured once her breathing had evened out. "Must have…scared you something bad."

Slowly, carefully, she threaded her fingers with his own. Makko's features came into sharper focus now, and he looked so tired. Tired and relieved and grieving. She couldn't help but try to smile, the corners of her lips lifting stiffly from disuse.

"Will I live?"

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

MAKKO

Makko steadied the cup in her hands until he was certain she could hold it herself, then set it aside when she was done.

Her apology twisted something deep in him. He let out a slow, unsteady breath.

“You scared me pretty bad,” he admitted, his voice low but unflinching.

He leaned in to press a kiss to her temple, lingering there for a moment before pulling back enough to meet her gaze.

“Will you live?"

He felt a sudden pulse of shame for being so stupid.

"Of course! Of course you will," he said adamantly. "Probably should have started with that. Yeah. But no marathons for a little while."

His thumb brushed along her knuckles as he softened, a crooked smile tugging at his tired face.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

When his lips brushed against her temple, Cora exhaled, low and slow, through her nose. The monitor that tracked her heart rate reflected the effect Makko had on his wife.

"Must be a real pain to be married to me, huh?"

Idly, the fingers of her free hand lifted to graze the skin that he'd kissed. Then, they traced down her own cheek. Having spent weeks between a bacta tank, sterile air, and the host of drugs that had been pushed into her system, she was surprised to find that her skin felt…soft.

Then, she clocked a familiar shape sitting on the side table - a bottle of her favorite moisturizer. Makko knew how she'd fret over her skin.

That thought had warmth blooming in her chest anew. Their relationship had been comprised of grand gestures and dramatics, but the little things had just as much impact.

"Come here," she murmured. Cora tucked her fingers beneath his chin and guided him toward her until she could press a kiss to his jaw. Her lips puckered at the stubble beneath them.

"You need to shave," she murmured. "Where are we, anyway?"

The lighting was too natural, the air too herbaceous for them to be on a medical frigate.

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

MAKKO

Makko offered an apologetic smile. He wasn't doing the basics very well. He hadn't told her that she wasn't dying. He hadn't told her where they were.

"I need a shower as well as a shave."

That. There was also that.

"We're on Naboo. My choice. We ended up here via an Alliance medical ship once you were stable. Ukatis didn't have the facilities."

It was safe and out of the way of the war front. There were friends here and people with influence and power.

"We've not been married that long and enough has happened," Makko reflected.

"I've told those that matter that you're my focus right now. I'm staying with you."

They had chosen the Jedi life, but there had to be times when they put one another and their marriage first.

"So I'm not going anywhere right now and I won't be gone for long when I go shower. And I can fetch anything you want? And I should probably tell the staff you're awake."

He reached up to wipe a single tear from his eye.

"I'm sorry," he said, his thoughts had scattered to the winds.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

"Naboo…" she echoed in a low murmur. Her eyes drifted toward the ceiling as she tried to organize fuzzy thoughts as they came. Makko had taken her out of Alliance space.

So we lost, then.

It wasn't a surprise, but it didn't exactly speak of a comeback for the Alliance. New powers were rising in the galaxy, taking shape in ways that were both predictable and erratic.

But they'd survived. They were together. The galaxy had tried to rip them apart before, and it felt as though they'd just ducked under another deathblow.

"Oh," she said to his apology. Cora frowned, cupping Makko’s cheek in her palm. This time, she ignored the scratch of stubble in favor of wiping her thumb beneath his teary eye.

"Don't…don't apologize. Please. If anything, I'm the one who keeps causing trouble for us." Her voice fell to a trembling whisper, and she swallowed once around the dry lump in her throat.

"There were so many times when you could've walked away from me. From us. You had good reason to. These past few weeks must have been so hard for you…"

Cora tilted her head back against the pillow, sliding her hand to brush a dark curl away from his eyes before it could become damp. "The galaxy and the Jedi may call me selfish but…I want you here, Makko. With me as I recover, not on some far-flung battlefield away from me."

A slow, deep inhale helped to stifle prickling tears, but it did little to chase away the swell of emotion that rose in her chest like breath. The smile she gave him was just as tired, but less tight this time.

"I suppose I can go without you for a few minutes. Leave your datapad?"

Makko Vyres

 

[Makko Vyres]

MAKKO

Makko felt shame flicker across his chest as Cora’s guilt settled in the room. She had nearly died and was quick to blame herself. He leaned forwards and couldn't feel anything other than overwhelming relief to have her awake.

“Please,” he murmured, voice thick with sincerity, “You need to just rest and recover. You don't need to worry about me.” He let his thumb brush the back of her hand, soft and steady, the familiarity of the gesture soothing them both.

He swallowed again, more grounded now.

"Been through some rough times together," he admitted. Those words barely scratched the surface. He could never blame her for Horace. Ukatis had shaped her, made her feel that was duty. What followed had left him angry and confused, but they had found their way together.

He met her eyes, intent and unflinching.

“What matters is that you're awake," he said, before taking a more gentle tone. "You won't be doing anything strenuous for a good while so I need to stick around." He offered a wink. He immediately hoped he wouldn't make her laugh. That would probably hurt.

"But... I don't give a shit how selfish anyone thinks we are. I'll be here."

His hand gently squeezed hers. He gave a crooked, tired smile. The kind reserved for those small vital reminders of life’s sweetness.

“I'll be selfish too, but you listen to doctors and don't do anything stubborn. Don't speak for a little bit either. Rest. Tell me what happened later."

Makko stayed for a little while. It would be important to know what happened, but it could wait. Eventually he left her with the data pad and went to find sonic showers. He bought a cheap hygiene kit from a vending machine and had a shave and brushed his teeth.

He returned a little later. The doctors had arrived and run some tests and changed her medication. Makko wore a fresh tunic. He settled down into the chair beside beside her bed.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

Cora's eyes lingered after Makko as he departed. The threads of warmth that comprised their bond kept the pair tethered, even when out of sight.

Across stars, if it had to.

Upon his return, she'd just scrolled to the end of an interesting piece of literature - Naboo court gossip courtesy of The Swan of Solleu, doubtlessly a pseudonym for the true author ( Loria Sorelle ).

"Have you seen this?" Cora asked, turning the screen toward Makko. "They talked about Lossa. And that dreadfully arrogant princeling Fabian and I met."

Her nose wrinkled, a mix of displeasure at the focus on her friend's private affairs, and barely concealed delight at the anonymous barb levied at Aurelian.

She'd be fielding reports from Arkania and Ilum soon enough. Nothing temporarily lifted a burden from your shoulders like reading about other people's problems.

This too, would have to dwindle to an end. Makko had asked her what had happened, and she didn't want to shy away from giving him an explanation, but her recollections were slow to filter in and organize themselves.

"Do you remember that man I told you about on Coruscant?" She frowned, reaching for his hand again. The warmth beneath her fingertips couldn't be simulated by a dream. He was real.

"The one who unsealed the nexus, and sort of…reminded me of myself, in a way?"

They'd spoken about this before, at his hospital bedside on Ilum. How Voldran had opened his soul to her during their clash, and she saw a man shaped by violence and beholden to the whim of his cruel mother.

Makko Vyres