I Guess I'll Eat Some Worms

[Darth Caecus]

Today, Sabetha decided, had been AWFUL.

She suposed not all of it. Here she was! A Jedi Padawan! She was wearing new clothes! She had traveled to a new planet! Her hair was clean and brushed (vigorously, ow), her face was clean and her belly was full with good food for the first time she could remember. She should be happy.

So why was she sitting by the edge of a pond, a loaf of bread smuggled out under her acolyte robes, nose running and trying to keep from crying?

Her Jedi Master was gorgeous. Beautiful, delicate, graceful, with that casual disdain that only the truly lovely could manage- making you want to be near them even though you knew they wanted nothing to do with you. And thought she was completely hideous. Had announced, to the entire temple (where other padawans could hear!) that she smelled bad, and that something might be living in her hair (she turned red again remembering), and that she probably had lice or other things that would make people sick.

She had tried, really, she had. But she'd lived on the streets for almost six years. It didn't matter how hard she tried. And to have all of those things that she had already been painfully aware of so casually thrown back at her like she was... like she was.... a filthy little creature..... Sabetha wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her tear streaked face on her knee. She felt three inches tall. She was all alone, and she knew they were whispering about her in the mess hall. That dirty little girl. What was she doing here?

She'd taken the extra loaf of bread. Hidden it under her robe. She wasn't really sure about the whole "you can eat as much as you want, when you want" thing. She didn't really trust it.

She was, surprisingly, not very hungry though. So she just sat there, staring out at the water. Wondering why she wasn't happy?

[member="Smeg"]

 

[Smeg]

Scrabble scrabble scrabble.

Hungry.

Sniff sniff. Scratch scratch. Sniff.

Always hungry.

It was a far cry from the days of glory. No longer the self-proclaimed King of Coruscant there was nobody to fetch him all the feasts he could dream of. No glorious platters of junk that simply came to him instead of the other way around.

Exiled. Alone. Smeg had to make his own way, had to find his own food (this, of course, being the most important thing).

A constant stowaway the Skraal found himself constantly hiding and moving. He wasn’t some cute stray animal that could be taken in, loved and pampered. He was a large festering rodent, with poor hygiene and even worse manners. Not the ideal present for little Tammy on Sithmas Day, really. Force, could you imagine that holiday scene?

On the bright side, this brand new lifestyle had caused him to lose much of his kingly girth. In fact, he was quite svelte now, as Skraal were supposed to be.

Sniff sniff.

Despite this however, he still followed his nose. Finely attuned senses let him know wherever anything edible was. He scurried, crept and at some points even scampered towards the scent. To some, just bread. To others it was like a bakery at four in the morning, still fresh, wafting warm and inviting greetings up the nostrils.

There was a girl. In his experiences, the hairless ones didn’t particularly smell like bread. She was holding the prize. Not that he wouldn’t have eaten her...but, well, bread was nicer, tastier, easier. Better to just take it, of course, Smeg would ask for it first.

Squeak!

Sitting on his hind legs, he made himself known with his shrill call. At just under five feet tall, he was hardly an intimidating sight for the majority of the galaxy. Unless you were, say, a little girl. Except intimidation wasn’t the name of the game.

“You gotz bread!” Smeg declared, his gnarly half-tail whipping back and forth in excitement, “Smeg can smellz itz!” He was still a good few metres away from her at this point but after his proclamation the Skraal had taken a few shuffles towards her, nose a-twitching, fleas a-itching.

“Smeg not got any bread..."

---

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Darth Caecus]

Sabetha jumped up, startled out of her thoughts by the rank, squeaky voice. She looked up, a little wide eyed at the rat as big as she was.

That was talking.

To her.

Now, living on the streets, Sabetha had seen a lot of rats. Some of them had been pretty big too. Big enough that you wouldn't want to fight it over a loaf of bread, but would anyway because everyone was hungry. This rat though? This was a big rat. Oddly enough though, she wasn't afraid.

Maybe it was the type of day she'd had. Maybe it was because the rat was acting all polite like. Maybe it was the petulant way it had said “Smeg not got any bread..." But whatever it was, the rodent of unusual size wasn't *scary*. She stood there for a moment just looking at it and then-

"*sniff* You can have some of my bread.... if you want to."

Still watching the rat, she tore the loaf in half. Tentatively, she held out the slightly bigger half. It wasn't often she had a chance to be generous. And even less often to a rat. She waited, not entirely certain she was doing this right.

[member="Smeg"]

 

[Smeg]

Sometimes asking works.

Not often when you’re a scabby, patchy and smelly creation. Smeg had found that upon his travels that different planets had different kinds of people. Some were kind, and others were nasty and some ran away screaming. Still, the little hairless creatures were often much more charitable than their larger counterparts.

She broke off half of the loaf and Smeg’s rodent features beamed pure and simple happiness. Although, given his ferocious teeth, it was probably a none-too-pleasant sight.

“You iz a good people,” Smeg crowed cheerfully, scampering eagerly towards her and her offering. The Skraal’s manners weren’t exactly great, however, and he snatched away the larger half of bread and began to tear into it with what was giant nibbles.

He actually didn’t say anything else until it was all gone. Food was his only friend, food was his saviour and food didn’t get up and leave you like the Yuuzahn Vong did. He wasn’t completely rude though, his attentions returning back to the girl once his small feast was finished.

Just priorities, is all.

“Why iz you snifflin? You gotz da rakky plague?”

---

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Darth Caecus]

You iz a good people was probably the nicest thing anyone had said to her all day. She rubbed one of her eyes with the back of her hand, smiling a little bit as she watched [member="Smeg"] eat.

Sure, he was mangy. And patchy. And kinda scaley. But that didn't really bother Sabetha. She was used to things being not perfect, but still be worth something. Right now, her 11 year old brain wasn't connecting that thought with her own situation at the moment- she still felt like a little bug- but these things take time.

She sat back down, waiting till he was done. But his question caught her off guard.

"W-what? No!"

Why did everyone assume she had things that would make other people sick? Was she really that disgusting?

"I'm just- It's been-" She sniffed, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "I'm not sick," she said, a little petulantly. "And it's rude to assume other people are sick."

She actually had no idea if that was true. But she decided, then and there, that it was.

"But you were nice first, so it's not a lot rude," she amended, thinking it over. "Just a little rude." She paused for a moment and then-

"My name's Sabetha. What's yours?"

 

[Smeg]

His question hadn’t been one of ill-intent.

It was just her sniffling reminded him of the people that got dumped down below, the ones that couldn’t get cured, and they usually didn’t get cured. Rakghoul plague. The deeper you lived in Coruscant’s bowels the less likely it was that you’d see the serum, but the deeper you lived, the more likely that you would get bitten or scratched.

Not that Smeg was a concerned member of the Galactic Health Organisation, in fact, his own species were known as plague bearers themselves.

It was more a matter of war. The lowest levels of Coruscant were a constant bestial battle between the Skraal and the Rakghoul. They fought tooth, nail and half-tail every day in what was savage and primitive warfare. If his people came across any poor souls that had been infected and tossed down there it would be a mercy killing for them, just to avoid another joining the ranks.

He tilted his head at her, crooked whiskers twitching as she admonished him for presuming that he was sick. Most people he had met at her age were sick.

“Smeg not meanz a fence!” he backtracked swiftly, hardly wanting to annoy a kind source of food, “it cuz you gotz da sniffly noze,” the Skraal added, pointing at her sleeve-cum-hankercheif.

She told her his name, a pleasant courtesy not often afforded to the large sentient rodent and while he often used his name in the place of ‘I’ he was more than glad to introduce himself on a formal formal scale.

“I iz Smeg,” he said with a firm nod, “an Smeg fanks you for sharin da bread.”

He let his super articulate words hang in the air for a few moments, as the Skraal mulled over asking another question. He didn’t want to upset her, but social graces were hardly his specialist subject.

“But if you not sickz, den why you gotz da sniffly noze?”

---

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Darth Caecus]

Sabetha felt a little warm inside. Maybe it was the sharing itself. Or maybe it was the being thanked for sharing. But she smiled again, in part because she felt nice for a moment and in part because of the way he talked. It was funny, but not in a laugh at him kind of way, just in a fun to listen to kind of way.

"It's nice to meet you Smeg. And you're welcome."

She looked down at the other half of the loaf in her hand. Did she trust the Jedi that there was plenty of food? Mostly. It was just hard to let go of old habits. She wasn't quite ready to offer the other half.

Looking over now at her smudgy sleeve, she grimaced. What would Junko say? She'd already gotten her new robes dirty. It brought all of the small, casual, biting words from today back to the surface. Thinking about it, her eyes filled with tears again, and she looked down at her lap.

"I'm sniffling because that's what happens when humans cry," she explained, her voice a little cracked, to @Smeg. After all, it was obvious that he didn't understand much about humans. But then, Sabetha didn't know much about giant rats (and had no idea what a Skraal was, so really, who was the more ignorant here? Probably wasn't Smeg).

"I don't think anyone here likes me," she admitted.

 

[Smeg]

Not many people thought it was nice to meet Smeg. At most people thought it was interesting, but usually it was a combination of terror or revulsion. Even some of his Yuuzhan Vong friends had wanted him to take a bath, which was a strange priority for pain adoring heretics.

“Iz nice to meetz you too, Sabethaz.”

The Skraal stared at the girl, then the other half of the loaf and then back at the girl again. Ever the glutton, of course he was still hungry but he couldn’t help but notice the girl’s eyes become watery. That wasn’t good. Of course, to confirm to his rather small mind, the girl confessed her worries and explained that they were tears borne of sadness, and not some peculiar orifice leakage.

He couldn’t comprehend why others wouldn’t like her.

“Why wouldz dey not like you?” Smeg questioned, scratching a matted patch on his belly while he spoke, “Smeg fink dat you good, an Smeg knowz best.”

He scurried closer to her, standing right beside the girl before plopping down onto his bottom. Hopefully his stench wouldn’t be too off-putting.

“Maybeez it take time for dem to get to knowz you,” the Skraal continued, trying to deliver some life advice, before strictly moving onto cannibalistic giant rat advice, “or maybeez we just eatz dem.”

---

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Darth Caecus]

Sabetha giggled when he suggested eating them. She wiped her eyes with the back of one hand, leaving a smudge of dirt. She liked his giant rat advice better than his life advice.

"I don't think they would taste very good," she said in a hushed tone then looked around to see if anyone else had heard her. Thankfully, the two were completely alone and she let out a little sigh.

"And I don't think I fit in," she confided, feeling emboldened by her new friend. After all, it was hard to feel meek when talking about eating people. "My- I mean, someone- said things." She turned a little red, just remembering.

She didn't really want to repeat the details. But somehow, she thought that Smeg might understand.

"Everyone here is so clean and neat and knows how to use eating utensils right," she said with a frown. "I'm not any of those things. And people look at me funny. Like it's obvious that I don't belong here. But I *do*! I can be a Jedi too. I can be as good as they are."

She paused, glancing over at [member="Smeg"] . She noticed his gaze and smiled, then held out the other half of the loaf to him.

 

[Smeg]

To the contrary, the hairless ones tasted very good. They were often meaty, substantial and very filling, but getting them fresh was a necessity, they were just so quick to spoil. That being said, Smeg wasn’t noshing upon people on a daily basis, it had more been a rare occurrence in a brutal rat-eat-everything type of world.

“Iz not eazy to fitz in,” Smeg agreed with a firm nod of his head, it was something that he could relate to. Always a bit smarter than his own people, there was a reason that he had ruled over them and not run amongst them and out in the real galaxy? Well, where does a giant rat fit in?

The Skraal could sympathise with the girl. People talked, people said nasty things. It was all just a matter of how thick your hide was.

“Iz dat wat Jedi doez? Dey cleanz?” Smeg asked, not terribly familiar with the Jedi (but much more familiar with the Sith), “I fought dey were called lighsaberz, you uze dem to eatz?” He DEFINITELY wasn’t familiar with the concept of eating utensils. “Smeg fink would be eazier wif claws...”

His ratty half-tail swished around, he liked this girl. She was good, like his old friend Tsavong although unlike Tsavong she wasn’t a hulking Vong behemoth. He didn’t actually like the concept of the Jedi so far, but if that’s what she wanted to be Smeg would give her support.

“You notz be as good, you be betterz! You givez Smeg food, you gotz...gotz...” the Skraal struggled, trying to find the right word, a fancier word, “...you gotz da emperthy.”

So close.

Nose twitched as Sabetha offered the rest of the bread to him, naturally Smeg did desire the entire loaf but even in his infinite greed he felt somewhat bad about the concept of taking the rest of the upset girl’s food. His gaze turned upwards from the bread and back to the girl

Food was important, the most important.

“Doez you not needz to eatz too?”

---

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Darth Caecus]

Sabetha laughed at “Smeg fink would be eazier wif claws...” and nodded.

"It was really hard! Everything kept falling off. And yeah, they're all clean. Like wow clean. And they have the nicest hair and clothes." She reached up, self consciously, her hands patting down the frizzy mess of red hair on her head.

"I'm not very hungry," she admitted, though it sounded strange to say. Sabetha was always hungry. She couldn't remember a time in her life when she'd had enough to eat. Sure, when her mom was alive. But she didn't remember what that felt like.

Mostly it felt kind of heavy.

"And I can get more food," she said, a little more brightly. "The cafeteria is FULL of food! And we can eat as much as we want."

She paused, looking at [member="Smeg"] thoughtfully.

"It's weird," she said, slowly. "The Jedi have more than enough food to share. But people are hungry. Even on their own planet. And I watched them- I don't think most of them really appreciate it. I don't think they've ever been..... hungry.

​Yes, she was referring to Smeg as people, without putting any thought in to it. And she didn't mean hungry like a couple hours after breakfast hungry. She meant true hunger, where even when you ate, there was never enough.

She paused, frowning and then-

"What does 'emperthy' mean?" She didn't know what it was, but she liked that Smeg thought she had it.

 

[Smeg]

“Bleh!”

Smeg’s rodent features twisted with disgust when the girl told him just how clean the Jedi were. What good was cleanliness? How could they choose their mates without having a strong and dominant scent? Of course, the health aspect of hygiene was lost upon Smeg, his species were largely immune to most diseases and were usually happily carrying a large host of various bacteria themselves.

As soon as Sabetha conceded that she wasn’t very hungry the Skraal took this as his invitation to have the rest of the bread, which he took from her hands and devoured with gusto with a massive (and somewhat terrifying) grin upon his face.

But that grin soon vanished, to be replaced with eyes larger than his own stomach. He could imagine the feast of food that the Jedi had, a buffet table stretching into infinity, a gluttons delight!

“Dey not share?” Smeg inquired, slightly crestfallen and with half-masticated loaf still milling around in his open maw. “Daz not berry nice.” A bit hypocritical really, Smeg wasn’t at all the flag-bearer for altruism.

When quizzed on the meaning of empathy emperthy the former Filth King had to take a minute to think of a way to describe it, his arsenal of large words, however, was lacking.

“It meanz...dat….you sharez, an dat you goodz an nice...an kindz,” Smeg finally replied with a firm nod, “Smeg fink dat you better dan da Jedi, an Smeg knowz hiz stuff.”

---

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Darth Caecus]

She'd giggled a little when he expressed his "Bleh", covering her mouth with her hands. It *did* seem a little excessive.

"I mean, they share with each other. But it seems like they have more than enough to share with more people."

Sabetha looked down at her hands. Somehow, she'd already managed to get them and the cuffs of her sleeves dirty again. She frowned, rubbing the fabric together. What would Junko say when she saw it? Sabetha decided then and there that Junko *wouldn't* see it. She'd get it clean herself before she saw her master next. She didn't realize yet that the Jedi had people and droids who did that kind of thing for them. She was having enough trouble wrapping her mind around the fact that there was simply always food available. More might have flabbergasted her completely.

She listened to [member="Smeg"] 's definition of emperthy and she smiling, her cheeks a little red. Really, was that her? Maybe she could do this after all.

"Thanks Smeg. I think you've got emperthy too. You've been awfully nice to me."

Pausing, she frowned a little bit, trying to work something out. If she had emperthy, and that meant kindness and sharing, well, she could do more of that! More only sounded like good, didn't it? And she could keep doing it for Smeg! It seemed like a good place to start. Even if all the Jedi didn't share- well, maybe she could start!

"Maybe the Jedi can be better too," she suggested thoughtfully.

She obviously still had a lot to learn about the Jedi, one way or the other.

But it seemed simple. The Jedi had enough. They had more than enough. And she was a Jedi now!

"If I'm a Jedi, and I do good things, does that make all of the Jedi.... a little better? Do you think maybe?"

 

[Smeg]

“Dey not understanz havin nuffin,” Smeg replied, mouth no longer laden with loaf. When he was the Filth King he too lacked that understanding, he had lounged about growing fat while surrounded by mounds of food gathered forth by those who scrapped and scraped by to get it.

Now of course, the lack of shoe was on the other foot. He was the scavenger barely getting by, only very occasionally experiencing acts of kindness. Unbelievable to say, but Smeg had actually learned through his experiences. Was it a new leaf? Would he be a shining paragon of generosity? That was difficult to say.

“Dey never eczperienzed itz.”

Upon being informed of his own apparent emperthy Smeg let out a small squeak and waved a nonchalant claw, he might have even been blushing but behind wild and matted fur nobody would ever know.

“Smeg not knowz about dat...”

Sabetha posed a new question, wondering if her own kindness would create a new reflection of the Jedi. Hard to say, Skraal weren’t really known for their societal philosophy or well, just reasoning in general. Nonetheless Smeg did take a moment to ponder it.

“If youze becomez da Jedi Queen, maybze,” he said thoughtfully, having absolutely no knowledge of the Jedi ranking structure, “not surez if emperthy rubz off...”

Further pondering was needed.

“Wat if you teachez dem?”

---

[member="Sabetha Tag"]

 

[Darth Caecus]

Jedi Queen.

While Sabetha liked the sound of that (and she grinned widely at the suggestion), she did eventually shake her head.

"I don't think the Jedi *have* queens, Smeg," she said, her wistful tone indicating that she wished they did (because then she could be one). After all, queen sounded way better than Jedi at that moment.

She pondered for a quiet minute. Could she teach them? Could she teach anyone anything? She didn't think so. Not things that the Jedi would care about learning anyway. She was still kind of fuzzy on exactly what emperthy entailed. She got the gist of it. But there seemed a lot more nuance was probably involved.

She still really liked the idea of being a queen though.

"I don't think I could teach them," she finally said, shaking her head. "I think maybe we get it because we know what it's like. To have nothing. I don't know if someone who has ever not had nothing could learn what having nothing was like. Unless they got everything taken away. But- that would probably be wrong."

It was a really complicated topic and Sabetha was having a hard enough time following her own train of thought here. In all honesty, Sabetha didn't consider stealing wrong. And that reflected in her tone before. After all, stealing had kept her alive.

"I don't think you can teach someone something if they can't, you know, feel it," she said awkwardly, trying to find her way through this new idea. "And making someone feel it would mean taking everything."

Queue transformative experience that will shape Sabetha for the rest of her life. Thanks [member="Smeg"] !

"I don't know if I want to make them hungry," she said, with a little less sincerity that she probably needed, "I just want them to understand it."

Pausing, she looked over thoughtfully at Smeg.

"Do you live here? Or are you going away somewhere else?"

Obviously, the girl had something specific on her mind.