Private Humor Me

[Braze]

Laphisto

Braze padded after Laphisto once he caught sight of the towering Kiev’arian leaving the Assembly meeting. He quickened his steps until he reached the other man’s flank, only then noticing that the great tail trailing behind him was now… armored?

Curiosity overtook courtesy.

Braze placed one foot upon the plated tail and carefully shifted his weight onto it, testing whether the new armor could bear him—or whether Laphisto would notice the added burden at all. He had gathered that the ancient warrior’s natural vision was not always reliable, though Braze knew better than to mistake poor eyesight for poor perception. A Force-user could see far more than the eyes alone allowed, and Laphisto’s senses were stranger than most.

“When did you get this upgrade?” Braze asked, seemingly confident that neither the armor nor its owner would suffer beneath his antics.

He adjusted his footing, studying the plating with open interest.

“I should make action figures of you with articulated tails. I bet they’d sell remarkably well in game shops, especially if I commissioned artisan graphic novels to go with them.”

The idle musing lingered for only a moment before Braze tipped his head, jade-green eyes narrowing upon something less tangible than the metal beneath his boot.

“Also… why are you just letting Dark Side energy radiate off you? You know it's not healthy right ?”

His gaze traveled slowly over Laphisto’s immense frame, searching for some visible answer to what he could sense pressing into the air around him.

“Most people at least try to conceal it when they’re carrying that much around. You’re walking like an uncovered reactor.”

 

[Laphisto]

Laphisto had nearly reached the main doors of the Assembly building when the added weight settled against the end of his tail. His stride shortened by half a step before stopping altogether, the newly fitted plates shifting beneath Braze's boot with a muted scrape of overlapping metal. The armor held without complaint. A brief pulse of the Force rolled outward from the Kiev'arian on instinct, passing over the politicians, aides, and security personnel still filtering through the corridor before circling back to the familiar presence behind him. The ripple vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared, and a low chuckle rolled from his throat as he glanced over one shoulder. He made no effort to pull his tail away or dislodge Braze, leaving the younger man to stand or push against his tail, while he inspected the new plating. This close to the man Braze might be able to feel the excess force energy around him. enough that if one so chose to, they could siphon it to fuel their own power.

Braze's questions followed in quick succession, moving from the armor to action figures and finally toward the considerable presence radiating from Laphisto. He listened without interruption, one scaled brow rising higher as the younger Jedi continued. Only when Braze finished did Laphisto turn to face him properly, folding his arms across his chest while keeping his tail steady beneath the added weight. "Would you believe me if I told you this was me restraining the power within? What you're sensing now is me holding back, though i cannot stop the bleed off." His gaze dipped briefly toward the armor enclosing his tail before returning to Braze. "The plating is a recent addition. After everything this tail has been struck with, shot at by, or pinned beneath, I decided relying entirely on the scales was becoming needlessly stubborn."

The suggestion of turning him into merchandise earned a long, measured look. Laphisto's expression remained serious enough that the demand which followed might almost have been genuine. "If you turn me into an action figure, I expect sixty percent of the proceeds for the use of my likeness." The corner of his mouth twitched upward before he nodded toward the plated tail beneath Braze's feet. "And don't cheap out on the engineering. If the tail doesn't articulate properly, I'll consider it slander." His tail shifted slightly beneath Braze, not enough to throw him off, but enough to remind the younger man that the apparent platform beneath him remained attached to someone perfectly capable of moving it.

The humor eased from Laphisto's features when the conversation returned to the Force. Facing him directly now, the force flashing over his eyes as he used his force sight, though this time the familiar teal-blue glow had vanished from the ancient warrior's eyes. Molten gold burned in its place, edged by a narrow ring of crimson that followed each movement of his gaze. Neither color flickered against the other. They moved together, distinct but inseparable. Laphisto held Braze's gaze for several seconds before his expression tightened and one hand rose to the bridge of his nose. the glow fading from his eyes with a wince

He rubbed at the corners of his eyes with two claws, blinking several times before lowering his hand again. "You assume you're only sensing the Dark Side, The Light is bleeding off me with just as much strength. They aren't separate currents anymore. They're braided together." His fingers tightened against one another as he continued. "The Light tempers the Dark, and the Dark gives the Light resolve. At this point, pulling one free from the other would be like trying to separate blood after it has already entered the vein."

"Most Force users try to hide whatever part of themselves they think others will condemn. That stopped being an option for me." His golden gaze shifted toward the Assembly doors for a moment, lingering there as another delegation passed between them and the corridor beyond. "Kiev'ara had its burdens. So yes, I suppose I am walking around like an uncovered reactor. Then again, it's hard not to after what I endured." The armored tail beneath Braze gave another small, deliberate movement, accompanied by the return of that restrained smile. "Granted, for a while i had problems keeping the force energy at bay without it exploding out. Though I have learned to contain it now."

Braze

 

[Braze]

Tags: Laphisto

​

"Sixty? That's far too much. How about thirty?" Braze asked, glancing down. "The prototyping alone would cost a pretty credit before we ever achieved full articulation."

He tilted his head, then folded his arms loosely over his chest in thought. Somehow, he maintained remarkably steady balance no matter how Laphisto shifted his armored tail beneath him.

"Is that what you believe?" Braze asked after a moment. "The Dark Side and the Light are both parts of the Force... they are one of the same whole," he offered, treating it as a simple fact. "And the Force has a will of its own."

He had only recently begun to accept how often Force-users might be mistakeing its influence for their own desires… never realizing that what felt like personal choice had been gently guided by something far greater.

"Any way you examine it, the Dark Side is caustic. It always costs something to use... And surrendering to those desires is easier... That is what makes it so alluring: power obtained quickly, the simplest path through whatever stands before you ripe for the taking.... And yet... Nearly anything accomplished through the Dark Side can also be achieved through the Light. But that takes focus, discipline, and work. "

Braze's gaze traveled over Laphisto, thoughtful rather than openly condemning.

"It seems to me that you are trapped in a cycle of causing damage, then repairing it, all because of how you perceive the Force. I would never say the Dark gives the Light resolve. I would say it gives you certainty through urgency... And... I think... Those can feel remarkably similar when you have spent long enough at war and amidst all it's atrociticies."

He paused, letting the distinction settle between them.

"What I'm hearing is... You believe separating them would hurt? I don'tthink that means they belong together... It may simply mean the wound you have has healed around the blade that caused it, and removing that blade now would require you to open the injury again... So you would rather leave it buried than treat it properly..."

His head inclined slightly.

"Tell me… what happens when something gives you a reason to no longer restrain it?" though his voice remained level.

"Whenever I encounter someone who uses the Dark Side, they always seem to possess some explanation to cling to. Everyone who continues using it eventually finds a reason to believe they are uniquely 'safe' from it. I recently met another man who told me much of the same things.

Where one claims tolerance, another claims purpose, and you claim balance."

His eyes narrowed faintly in thought.

"I hardly see balance in drinking acid, then swallowing bacta to repair what it burns.... When was the last time you tried to live without it?"

 

[Laphisto]

Laphisto allowed the silence to settle after Braze finished speaking. The flow of delegates continued around them, boots clicking against polished stone while quiet conversations echoed through the Assembly corridor. A pair of attendants stepped around the unlikely sight of a Jedi standing atop a Kiev'arian's armored tail without so much as a second glance. Laphisto remained still, one arm folded across his chest while the other rose to his chin, a claw tracing thoughtfully along the edge of his jaw. The pose lingered for several seconds before he finally looked back toward Braze, a faint smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. "Perhaps I am simply old-fashioned."

The words carried no offense, only quiet amusement. "I was born before the Hundred-Year Darkness. Before anyone called themselves Sith. The Force wasn't divided into opposing philosophies. It was simply... the Force. There was harmony, and there was temptation. There was discipline, and there was failure. The lesson wasn't to deny those things existed. It was to make certain they never mastered you."

His hand lowered from his chin as his attention briefly settled on the lightsaber hanging from Braze's belt. then down to his own, and over his weapons he carried. "My teachers never taught me to ignore what existed. They taught me to understand it, to respect the danger it carried, and above all else... to master myself. Balance came from that. The Dark Side is dangerous. I won't argue otherwise. I've seen what it does to people who pursue it for power. I've watched it hollow them out until there was little left but hunger."

"But danger has never been enough for me to declare something has no place. A lightsaber is dangerous. A blaster is dangerous. Put either into reckless hands and innocent people suffer. Put them into disciplined hands and they become instruments that defend those who cannot defend themselves I've always viewed the Force much the same way. It demands your respect, regardless of how you draw upon it."

Laphisto shifted his weight slightly, the armored tail beneath Braze remaining as steady as carved stone despite the movement. He gave a small shake of his head, one brow lifting toward Braze. "As for restraint." A quiet chuckle escaped him. "I always have a reason. If I try hard enough, I can justify anything and everything. That's the easy part. The hard part is making sure your discipline is stronger than your justification. I've learned not to trust the reasons I come up with in the moment. I trust the discipline that keeps me questioning them. The day I stop doing that... well, that's the day I've handed the Dark the reins And that would be the day I failed everyone who ever chose to place their faith in me."

Braze

 

[Braze]

Tags: Laphisto

​

Braze listened without interruption, though the slight furrow between his snowy white brows deepened as Laphisto spoke. At last, he stepped down from the armored tail, landing lightly upon the polished floor before turning to properly face the towering, ancient warrior.

"One shouldn't ignore the Dark Side's existence… on the contrary, they should remain aware and mindful of it. I don't think you're old-fashioned," Braze said. "I think you are placing a great deal of importance upon what people have chosen to call things."

"The Force did not 'become divided' when someone gave its aspects different names. Fire still burned before anyone thought to name it fire. Poison killed before anyone understood what it could do… My lightsaber doesn't whisper to me that I deserve to ignite it. A weapon may be dangerous, but it remains what it was after I use it. A lightsaber can harm someone, but it does not alter its wielder's judgment, nor does it inherently reward rage, deepen one's appetite, or encourage continued use.... So comparing the dark side to a weapon doesn't seem fair comparison... "

He paused, briefly rifling through his pockets suddenly as if looking for something he'd forgotten.

"You say you can justify anything, given enough effort… then how do you know that this philosophy of balance is not simply the oldest and most carefully rehearsed justification you possess? You say you trust the discipline that keeps you questioning yourself… but the mind performing that examination is the same mind exposed to the very thing that may—and eventually will—distort it. Who questions you when your own judgment is compromised? Who are you willing to trust when they tell you that you have crossed the line?"

A small pause followed before he produced several solid, colorful orbs from a velvet-lined pouch tucked into one of his pockets. He plucked a bright yellow orb from the collection and held the clear, plastic-wrapped sweet high above his head, trying to ensure Laphisto could properly see what was being offered.

"And you still didn't answer my question."

His voice softened, though the words lost none of their weight; a playful note edged the sentiment.

"When was the last time you tried to live without it?"

 

[Laphisto]

Laphisto's smile widened ever so slightly, followed by a quiet, approving chuckle. He gave a small nod as Braze spoke, waiting until the younger Jedi had finished before answering. When the yellow sweet was finally offered, one clawed hand reached out and accepted it with surprising care. He turned it over between his fingers, giving the wrapped confection an inquisitive sniff before one ear twitched upright. "Aye. you've got the right idea. Or close enough to it, lad."

His gaze settled back on Braze. "The Force is the Force. Neither Light nor Dark. It simply i Those are names we gave to describe how living beings experience it how we choose to draw upon it, how we filter it through ourselves. The Force doesn't wake each morning and decide what it wishes to be. any more than a bird choses to be a bird."

"Perhaps that's where you and I part ways. in philosophy You see two currents that must remain apart. I've lived too long to see that separation anymore. Leave them woven together, and neither is free to drown the other out. To me that's what balance has always been. And as for your question. There is no living with it or without it for me."

He gave a small shake of his head. a soft rumble escaping him as the memories from the twin brothers echoed briefly acrossed his mind, causing him to wince lightly. "Not anymore. I don't believe I could truly pull one from the other even if I wanted to. They've become part of the same whole." . With that, he began unwrapping the sweet, glancing down at it with mild curiosity before looking back to Braze.

"So no." The corner of his mouth lifted into a faint smile. "I haven't tried to live without it. Because from where I stand, I'd be trying to divide something that was never meant to be separated in the first place."

Braze

 

[Braze]

Tags: Laphisto

​

"Think of it less as two separate rivers and more as a single river flowing into a broad basin," Braze offered. "You can drink from the current while it runs fresh and clear. Yet, when that same water settles into a stagnant lake, silt gathers beneath it. Decay collects along the bottom, and things begin to grow within it that make the water unsafe."

He selected another sweet from the pouch, rolling it idly between his fingertips once Laphisto took the Lemon drop with medicinal herbs.

"It is still water. It has not become an entirely different substance simply because it has soured… but that does not mean drinking from both is healthy, nor that pouring the stagnant water back into the river somehow creates balance."

Braze looked up at Laphisto, his expression thoughtful as he tried to consider what the man was getting at.

"A bird may not choose to be a bird, but you chose how you drew upon the Force... You chose what emotions you fed into it and what you permitted it to feed in return."

His fingers closed gently around the wrapped confection before tossing up and catching it.,

"You say... you can no longer separate one from the other... as though that proves they were always meant to remain together.... I find the opposite more concerning. If you truly cannot tell where one ends and the other begins anymore, then perhaps you've lived with the corruption for so long that it feels like a natural part of you." He sighed softly at that sentiment with a frown as if finding it a pitying state of being.

"You're words haven't proven to me that the water was always meant to be stagnant; Water is water and it too is a natural thing vital to nearly all life. Mister Laphisto… you seem to have forgotten what the current tasted like before it reached the basin... Just because you're managing to survive from sipping water from both ends doesn't mean it's healthy for you... "

 

[Laphisto]

Laphisto listened without interruption, turning the wrapped sweet over between his fingers as Braze spoke. A quiet chuckle escaped him before he slipped the lemon drop into a pouch on his belt instead of unwrapping it. "I don't think either of us is going to convince the other. Because we're starting from two different truths."

He folded his arms once more. before grippign his chin in thought "You look at the Force and see a river that becomes polluted downstream. I look at the same river and see people choosing where to build their camps, where to dump their refuse, and then blaming the water for carrying it." His shoulders rose in a small shrug. "To me, corruption has never been a property of the Force. It's a property of the person drawing upon it."

Laphisto's gaze remained steady on Braze. "I've spent thousands of years watching people insist they've finally discovered the one true way to understand the Force. Some rejected everything they feared. Others embraced everything they desired. Neither group stayed united for very long. won't tell you you're wrong for following the path you've chosen. It's served you well. All I ask is that you afford me the same courtesy."

The smile returned, warmer this time. though he carried a small chuckle in his words "If, one day, I become the monster you're warning me about Then you'll have been right. But until that day comes, all either of us has is faith. Yours is that the river must remain clear. And mine is that the one drinking from it matters more than the water itself."

Braze

 

[Braze]

Tags: Laphisto

​

Braze frowned at the sentiment, his head tilting slightly.

"I sincerely hope you don't become a monster…"

For an instant, something shifted across his vision, a dreadful image superimposed upon the towering figure before him. His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach as he imagined what a truly monstrous version of Laphisto might become. Braze stepped back, blinking hard until the vision withdrew.

He decidedly did not like that image at all.

"I understand… the sentiment you're trying to convey," Braze continued, unease threading through his voice. "But you're asking me to stand aside and let my friend drink poison."

 

[Laphisto]

Laphisto shook his head softly, looking over at Braze once again. "You see poison... and I see something entirely different I don't believe the Force is trying to corrupt me, Braze. I believe it asks something of everyone who draws upon it. You believe my answer is the wrong one. and Perhaps you're right."

His shoulders rose in a small shrug. "Or perhaps we've simply spent our lives learning two very different lessons from the same Force." He let the thought settle before continuing.

"In the end, neither of us can prove the other wrong. At some point... faith has to fill the space certainty can't. You have faith that the path you've chosen will keep you true to yourself." His hand rested lightly against his own chest. "And I have faith that the discipline I've spent a lifetime forging will keep me true to mine." The smile softened, becoming almost reflective "Perhaps that's all any of us can really do."

Braze

 

[Braze]

Tags: Laphisto

​

"I think everyone embraces the darkness sooner or later… I only hope you do not become consumed by it."

Braze fell quiet, his gaze lingering upon Laphisto as he considered the simple facts before him. The man had never named a time when he had attempted to live without the Dark Side; by his own admission, he had never tried, because he had already decided separation was impossible. Nor had he answered Braze's question of accountability… who, precisely, would be permitted to confront him when his judgment became compromised?

His definitions seemed to shift whenever the conversation drew too near to the possibility of surrendering it. It did not feel as though Laphisto had discovered some unavoidable truth. It felt as though he had chosen the answer that asked the least of him, then closed his eyes to every road beyond it.

Braze's frown deepened, though there was little anger in it. He had seen this reasoning before… Dark Side users insisting they needed its strength, finding some new defense whenever anyone asked them to loosen their grasp. Once they had learned what it could offer, so few seemed willing to relinquish it. They promised themselves they remained unchanged, that they were still in control, even as each warning became something else to dismiss.

A tired breath left him and his narrow shoulders lowered as he shook his head and looked up at the towering man, sorrow softening the severity of his expression. Braze wanted to believe Laphisto's choices would remain harmless. He wanted to believe the man knew himself well enough to stop before others suffered for his certainty.

Yet Laphisto seemed intent upon doing as he pleased, while giving little thought to what might happen if, one day, his judgment failed… or who might be left to endure the consequences.

"You say you cannot live without it… but you have also seem to have admitted that you haven't tried." His voice was quiet, carrying no triumph in the observation. "Those aren't the same thing...."

 

[Laphisto]

Laphisto's expression remained calm as he listened, offering no interruption while Braze spoke. When the younger Jedi finished, he let the silence linger for a moment before giving a small shake of his head. "I haven't tried because, to me, there isn't a distinction to make."

"I don't experience the Force the way you do. You see two things that should be separated. I don't. So asking me to live without the Dark would be like asking you to live without instinct, conviction, or resolve. I wouldn't even know where to begin. And even if I wanted to..." His gaze drifted for only a heartbeat before returning to Braze. "Kiev'ara changed me. There are parts of that world I carried away with me that will never leave.Whether I asked for them or not."

He let the thought settle rather than explaining it further. "So no... I haven't tried. Not because I fear what I'd lose, nor because I believe I couldn't survive it." His shoulders lifted in a small shrug. "I haven't tried because I don't believe there's anything left to separate. Perhaps that's where we'll always disagree, Braze. You believe I've mistaken the poison for part of myself. And I believe you're trying to separate something that, for me, has long since become one."

Braze

 

[Braze]

Laphisto
"Well… fundamentally, you are putting words in my mouth, and I do not appreciate the sentiment behind that."

Braze's brows furrowed, his gaze lingering upon Laphisto as though he were still searching for some sign that the man had truly listened.

"I never claimed that the Light and the Dark were separate. I said the opposite. They are both parts of the Force… they belong to the same whole. But belonging to the same whole does not make them equally healthy. Clear water and poison may mingle within the same river; that does not mean one should willingly drink from both.

If you cannot understand what I am actually saying, then I do not know how I am meant to reach you. I can explain myself again and again, but if I cannot be heard over the beliefs you have already placed in my mouth… then I am not sure what else there is for me to say."

 

[Laphisto]

Laphisto let Braze finish without interruption. The corridor had grown noticeably quieter now, the steady stream of delegates replaced by the occasional pair of attendants passing between the towering columns. The wrapped lemon drop rested idly between his fingers, turning once before he tucked it back into the pouch at his belt. A small breath escaped through his nose as he looked back toward the younger Jedi, one ear giving a faint twitch.

"I understand your concern And I think this is one of those conversations where neither of us is going to move the other." A quiet chuckle accompanied a small shrug of his shoulders. "Though truthfully, that was never my intention. I wasn't trying to convince you that I was right, Braze, and I certainly wasn't trying to convince you that you were wrong."

His arms folded comfortably across his chest once more, the armored tail behind him settling against the polished floor with a muted scrape. He studied Braze for a moment, not as an opponent in a debate, but as someone trying earnestly to understand a perspective that clashed with his own.

"Our experiences are different. The paths we've walked couldn't have been more different if we'd tried. You've spent your life learning one set of lessons. I've spent mine learning another. I don't expect you to see the Force as I do, any more than I'd expect you to abandon the convictions that made you the man standing here today. So let's leave it where it is. I'd rather leave this corridor knowing I have a friend willing to challenge me than leave with some one who views me as an enemy or a lost soul"

Braze

 

[Braze]

Braze glanced away and took an uneasy step back. When he looked toward the man again, he tried to set aside every bitter thought, every harsh conclusion… yet all he could summon was pity.

What stood before him was someone polishing the bars of his own cage and insisting they were decorative.

Braze regarded the enormous, ancient warrior as a man possessed of immense power and experience, yet emotionally reduced to defending the very thing poisoning him, because admitting fear or dependence would wound his pride.

Stubborn and prideful, Laphisto turned through nonsensical circles to defend his position. He knew himself trustworthy because he trusted his own judgment, and he trusted that judgment because he considered himself disciplined. Somehow, he seemed to believe himself uniquely exempt from consequence simply because he was disciplined enough.

It was the same exceptionalism Braze had been challenging from the beginning.

Braze would not pretend to understand what experiences had shaped such a sorrowful worldview, but he knew this was no failure of communication on his part.

He no longer saw the imagined shape of a monster before him…

He saw something far more upsetting.

A man who could have been so much better than this… yet was choosing not to be.

“I know you cannot see, Laphisto… but I had hoped you might still be able to listen... Worry not; I shall not burden you with my concern again.”

Braze held Laphisto’s gaze for a moment longer, though there was little left in his expression beyond an almost tired disappointment. Then he turned away, gathering himself as he started down the path without another word.
Laphisto

 

[Laphisto]

Laphisto remained where he was as Braze turned to leave. The Assembly corridor settled back into its usual rhythm, the conversation around them replaced by the quiet footfalls of passing delegates and the distant murmur of business resuming. His gaze followed the younger Jedi for a few moments before drifting downward. for a brief moment in a frown. a soft sigh escaped his throat, though it was soon replaced by the soft scrape of armor as he folded his arms across his chest. "Braze." His voice carried without effort through the open corridor, calm enough that it neither demanded nor expected the younger Jedi to stop.

"If it eases your concern, there was one question I should have answered. more clearly You asked who would hold me accountable if my judgment ever failed. I don't leave that burden to myself. I place it in the hands of those who serve beside me and the people who look to me for leadership. to protect them and guide them."

The armored plates across his forearms shifted quietly as he settled his stance. "and should i fail. my High Guard are Force-dead. They were chosen because they cannot be swayed by the Force, and because theirloyalty is to the order, and to our values before me. Should the day come that I become the very thing I have spent my life fighting, they have standing orders to end my life."

Laphisto offered nothing further in defense of his beliefs. There was no challenge in his tone, no expectation that the answer would change anything between them. "That is how I choose to remain accountable." The corridor fell quiet once more, and he allowed the younger Jedi to continue on his way without another word.

Braze