Approved Location House Thul Palace

[Elaine Thul]

Image Source: http://www.castlesan.../pics/graca.jpg

Classification: Fortified Palace
Location: Alderaan, eight hundred kilometers south of New Alder City
Development Thread: Here
Affiliation: House Thul

Population: Full regiment and support staff

Defenses:
Planetary shields,
Deflector shields,
2x Ground to Space batteries, Ion Cannon
AA guns,
Howlers
Thul Reapers
Durasteel walls

Points of Interest: Kilik nest to north east, these are loyal to House Thul. Here and Phrik, also here
Just south of the kilik nest a working phrik mine, Here
To south farm land and a few villages
To east a large market town with a small space port for trading

Description: The fort is designed into a star shape. This was to maximize the fire power on any frontage. It had three set walls, they where made out of durasteel and they had a deflector grid running through them, to help reinforce them. This as well as stone cladding to give it that authentic look.

Each section the wall at the end has a building designed to store ammunition. These also had guard houses, and these are where the lifts are located. each of them had a lift which was usable to get people to basement levels. Each lift could carry a full platoon at a time. Each lift can be shut off and render inoperable by quick setting concrete, and durasteel rods inserted. Meaning if the enemy breached a section of wall could not get direct access to basement levels.

The outer wall could hold a company for each section, and had five thul reapers on them, as well as the infantry units guarding it. This gives a massive amount of fire power to repel any enemy from any frontal attack. These also had one AA gun per Guard house on the outer corners, these could not be targeted from the ground.

The next set walls are higher and similar features to outer wall, but could quite easily kill the people on the outer wall and between the walls. They however could only fit two platoons in each section, and only had three thul reapers per wall. The gap between these wall was thirty meters, allowing the infantry to hit them with grenade fire form the rifles. Just behind this wall was H.T.E. Howlers, in total thirty were spread about. In the targeting computer, they had the whole of the local layout, so they would not endanger the building by miss firing.

The last set of walls where similar to other two, and again thirty meters apart. This one would only have a full platoon per section, and only one thul reaper. Though behind this where the launch area for the fighters, and reloading area, and lifts to help this, as well as another ten AA batteries, and two ion planetary defense cannons.

After this final wall you would find House Thuls actual home, and court rooms. Inside it was quite luxurious, and you could run an empire from there. This here the officers slept and nobles of the area, be wined and dined and have meetings. Also had an indoor swimming pool, gym and spar area. Then as well as have bed to stay for night if needed, every room was en suite. It also could house a full company of troops, though by this point they would be considering a tactical retreat. It could also not be targeted from anywhere out side the walls.

Underground area could house all off duty personal, and had store enough equipment to keep everyone fed in the event of siege for ten years. This also included automated workshops where droids of house thul.It could realistically keep them men supplied with ammo as well as guns. Also there was a power station here, that could maintain the shields for full ten years without strain. Though they did have two escape routes, known to no one but House Thuls trusted members only. One was to space port in the town, and the other was to the kilik nest. They could be shut down similar to lifts if needed.

History: it was built on ancient site House Thul

Intent: To build one very hard point on Alderaan, in the event of invasion they would have to take this to control the planet.

Links: (Optional. You may provide any links to other existing Codex/Factory entries that constitute any significance to this entry.)

 

[Coryth Elaris]

Under Review

 

[Coryth Elaris]

Planetary shields, Deflector shields, Ground to Space batteries, Ion Cannons AA guns, 6x squadrons of fighters (to be determined)

I need links for all of the above.

Durasteel walls, with reactive armour.

Reactive armor? What's meant by that exactly?

proximity mines on them

Need a link for that as well.

two ion planetary defense cannons.

Link, please.

automated workshops of house thul

By automated do you mean droids making the ammo and such? Or what exactly is meant there?

Also how many Ion Cannons total? As you didn't specify.

Given how heavily armed and protected this place is - on par with military bases - You'll have to do a dev thread for this. The length will be determined based on what the items are that I've asked for links on.

[member="Elaine Thul"]

 

[Elaine Thul]

[member="Coryth Elaris"] added dev link and links to phrik and kiliks, wookies down at the moment for me,/as most of them items are canon items. Also could you ask for template to be updated for dev threads, please.

Only thing I can not edit yet is the squadrons, as still to buy them, waiting on some in the market place

 

[Coryth Elaris]

Proximity mines

I need the link for those to be directly from wookie or alternatively something purchased through the market place here on swrp.

Planetary shields,

These are tailored down for the size of the palace, yes? If so specify that.

6x squadrons of fighters (to be determined)

Go ahead and remove those from the sub for the time being. When you get the ones you need through the marketplace, you can just do a submission modification to add those in.

Here and Prhik, also here

Phrik is misspelled here.

Durasteel walls, with reactive armour.

Again I need a link for that, that is within star wars wookie, or here in the marketplace.

Though I really don't think you need to have the reactive armor at this point. Which is largely for vehicles to begin with. You've got so many defenses stacked on here, this palace hands down might be one of the most heavily armored buildings to go through Codex, including military bases. It's more than a bit overkill, with all the shields, mines, military, and the like together, definitely overkill.

On the subject of development threads you've got about 80+ posts of dev threads altogether, so I can let some things slide with overkill. You won't need to do more development for it - for me at least

[member="Elaine Thul"]

 

[Elaine Thul]

[member="Coryth Elaris"] may I ask what I can keep with what I done, as events are happening after this was built.

 

[Coryth Elaris]

Proximity mines 6x squadrons of fighters (to be determined) Durasteel walls, with reactive armour.

Remove those and we can move on with the approval process.

[member="Elaine Thul"]

 

[Elaine Thul]

[member="Coryth Elaris"] deleted, and I removed one reference to it form the description.
Could you check I not missed any, as I do that sometimes, and can you check my grammar, as I am not the bet at it.
I asked for help on that part of my sub, as I really want it to be right.

 

[Coryth Elaris]

Not a problem, I understand. That said, this is going to be a bit of a long post with grammar edits. Just bear with me. I'm hardly perfect with grammar, but I can point out what stands out to me. I've also checked through, looks like all the references are gone to the items I asked to be removed as well. Now, on to the grammar.

Points of Interest: Kilik nest to north east, these are loyal to House Thul. Here and Prhik,

You have Phrik misspelled here.

The fort is designed into a star shape, this to maximize the fire power on any frontage.

I'd break this into two sentences at the comma.

It had three set walls, the walls, they where made out of durasteel and they had a deflector grid running through them, to help reinforce them.

Break this down into smaller sentences, 'It had three set walls,' 'they where made out of durasteel' 'they had a deflector grid running through them, to help reinforce them' - would be how I'd break that down. Also where needs to be were in this instance.

Each section the wall at the end has a building designed to store ammunition, and guard houses, these are where the lifts are located.

Break this into two sentences at the first comma.

each of them had a lift which was usable to get people to basement levels.

Capitalize the word each here.

Each lift could carry a full platoon at a time, and each lift can be shut off and render inoperable by quick setting concrete, and durasteel rods inserted.

Break this into two sentences at the first comma.

The out wall could hold a company for each section

Out, should be outer here.

The last set of walls where similar to other two,and again thirty meters apart, this one would only have a full platoon per section, and only one thul reaper.

I'd break this one down into two sentences. Apart should be the last word of your first sentence in this group.

Just behind this wall was H.T.E. Howlers, in total thirty where spread about, in the targeting computer, they had the whole of the local layout, so they would not endanger the building by miss firing.

Where needs to be were here. And I'd start a new sentence at In the targeting computer.

though behind this where the launch area for the fighters, and reloading area, and lifts to help this, as well as another ten AA batteries, and two ion planetary defense cannons.

Though, needs to be capitalized here. 'Though behind this is where the launch and reloading area for the fighters was located.' I'd use something more like that there. And start your next sentence with 'It has lifts to help this' and continue on from there as you were.

Also had an indoor swimming pool, gym and spar, as well as have bed to stay for night if needed, every room was en suite.

spa, or sparing area? Then, 'as well as have bed to stay for night if needed, every room was en suite.', probably should be two sentences as well. En suite? Not sure what you are going for there. A suite? One suite. The wording here is a little strange.

It also could house a full company of troops, though by this point they would be considering a tactical retreat.

I'd break that down into two sentences too.

This also included automated workshops where droids of house thul, could realistically keep them men supplied with ammo as well as guns.

And this I'd break into two sentences as well, starting at the comma and continue on with 'It could realistically' - leaving the rest of the sentence as it was. House Thul should also be capitalized here.

When you get done making changes, let me know.

[member="Elaine Thul"]

 

[Elaine Thul]

[member="Coryth Elaris"] edited and thank you

oh I guessing en suite is an British word
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/en-suite

 

[Coryth Elaris]

No problem.

Ah, never saw that one before.

Approved Pending Secondary.

[member="Elaine Thul"] | [member="Lorelei Darke"]

 

[Quietus]

Approved.