Homesick

[Feena]

"If it's a girl... What was your sisters name again?"
"Celeste. Her name was Celeste."
"Celeste... Celeste... I love it. Celeste it is then, should we have a girl."
"She'd probably love that my daughter would be named after her......
You know...I've been thinking of going to visit them lately."
"...Them? Do you mean your family? Do they.... have graves to visit?"

The answer had been no. That was something Feena had sort of expected. She had never been to the planet her husband had been born on. The little she knew was from reports she received through the CIS. It was never anything pleasant.
The complete opposite of where Feena had come from. Keter had been born a slave. Feena might as well have been a princess for all she had.


"Keter. I think it's time we take that trip we talked about."

The agreement was to go once her Sanctuary was completed. Well, now it was, at least enough for her to take a trip away. Feena had left a large pile of work behind for her assistant and left assignments for Emahana as well. She had piled it all up on her desk and labeled it 'not my problem anymore' with a memo for the two women. If anything were to happen to Sanctuary while she was gone, she would be very... angry. They wouldn't let her down. They wouldn't dare to.

Besides, she needed time away. She was a good five and a half months pregnant now and most of that time, she had spent away from home. She needed time with her husband, even if the time spent with him was... less than romantic.


Sitting comfortably on the Inferno (as comfortable as she could ever be on a ship, anyway), Feena was attempting to knit. Key word being; attempting. The white yarn tangled together in her needles in large, uneven knots. So far, it looked like a small misshapen sock. That was not what she was going for. Even after months of practice, knitting just didn't seem to be one of her natural talents.
Well, she couldn't be good at everything. She just wouldn't be able to knit their new baby a warm hat. She could live with that.
Feena would just have to make sure little Celeste would have everything else she could ever want.


@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

It was warm, but not uncomfortably so. Yet Keter still squirmed in his seat. It felt...strange, to be taking Feena to see the place he had called home for the first few years of his life. Before everything had collapsed. But she had a right, and he would not deny her that. And so there they were, flying through space, dropping on the outskirts of the system and coasting in gently towards Hutta. Even from space it looked horrid, like a pus covered boil. The blond had been very quiet during the trip, and Feena had seen fit not to disturb his reverie. He thanked her for that. She knew what this meant for him, what he was feeling.
He let out a breath and looked at his wife with a smile. She was attempting to knit again. Exactly what, he had no clue. Feena was a talented woman, but she was not a master at everything. Good thing too, or there wouldn't be any fun. The silly thoughts amused Keter and kept the dark fog from his mind. The Force was sick and twisted on Hutta, warped by the suffering, greed, and pain that the planet sweated. He had never intended to return like this. He wanted to return with fire and sword, to cleanse the planet of the rot that even now festered in it's carcass. Before long, the planet would die.
Keter wished he could close his eyes, his red gaze once more drifting to the screen before him, displaying the blighted world. "We'll be there soon. You sure you're good to go? I...don't want the air affecting Celeste," he said quietly.

 

[Feena]

Knit. Knot. More knotting. Feena frowned down at her little pile of... white fluff. That was all it was now. The yarn had turned into a big pile of knots. Hardly what she was hoping for. It never seemed to matter how much she practiced. It was like cooking. It would always be a disaster.

"We'll be there soon. You sure you're good to go? I...don't want the air affecting Celeste,"

"Oh? Then should I just stay here and wait for you to come back? Entertain myself by failing to knit a hat, again?"
That wasn't even an option. She did not like to be left behind. And Keter would need her, even if he didn't want to admit it.
"Celeste will be fine. She's strong. What about you? Are you sure you want to do this?

@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

Her confident retort was so like her. Keter briefly pondered why he had bothered to ask in the first place. The blond sighed and nodded. "Yes. Though this isn't how I saw myself returning...you should at least meet them...I mean...as close to meeting them as possible..." he said, somewhat unsure of how to voice what he meant. The Inferno gracefully flew on, the planet growing larger in their view as they neared it, and soon they began to enter the atmosphere. "Still, best if you wear a mask at all times. Best not to take unnecessary risks," Keter said, tapping his own flight-mask. Masks were a sign of family amongst the workers on Hutta. It gave them a shared identity. And each family had it's own little detailing on their masks.

 

[Feena]

There was so little she actually knew about Hutta. Like the environment, the state of the planets atmosphere, that was entirely unknown to her. And the state of the workers? Even less so.
"Mask? Of course, of course," she answered, never once looking up at the planet as they approached, "I will do what ever you tell me to. This is your world after all, isn't it? For once, I will follow your lead."

If she had to be completely honest here, she was horribly nervous. Keter was so quiet, so serious. And what he said about 'meeting them', well, who wouldn't be nervous about meeting the in-laws?

@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

"It isn't my world. Not anymore," he replied as the ship flew down. He had made sure to purchase a safe berth far from his former home. Hutta was rife with crime, and he wanted his ship safe. So he had paid handsomely to land in one of the Hutt's spaceports, one of the few safe spots on the planet. No one dared interfere with a Hutt's trade links after all. He handed Feena the mask he had fashioned her, a copy of the type his own family used as his strapped his own modified flight mask on. He no longer needed the eye lenses since his true eyes had been taken from him.
The blond headed out of the cockpit once they had touched down, making sure to grab the robes and coveralls he had prepared before setting out, suiting up as he waited for Feena to stop her doomed attempt at knitting. The air where they were heading would be caustic. Best make sure his lovely wife suffered no chemical burns.

 

[Feena]

Feena did not stop her knitting attempt until they had safely landed. She needed the distraction. But once they were safely on the planets surface, Feena lowered her needles and set the pile of white knots to the side. She took the mask in hand and studied it closely. Was the air truly this awful? She'd heard about the masks, but she hadn't really thought much of it. Now, well, perhaps he was right to be worried.

"Truly a bold fashion statement," she murmured as she dressed. A pathetic attempt to lighten the mood. She was not funny and she knew it, but she could at least try.

She draped a gray scarf around her head to protect her hair once she was finished and went after her husband.
"Darling? Does this make me look fat? Well, fatter?"
Not exactly a fair thing for a pregnant woman to ask.

@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

"Fashion only exists for the Hutts and the retainers here. For everyone else, there is only survival gear," he replied dryly. Keter heard Feena's next question, but pretended not too as the doors hissed open and he strode out, filling the air with a pneumatic hiss. "This way. We'll have to grab a train down to the Scrapfields," he said, stopping at the bottom of the ramp and extending a hand to his wife.

 

[Feena]

So humor was not going to help. That was good to know. She didn't expect him to laugh or anything, of course, but to entirely ignore her... She wasn't used to this sort of behavior from her mate. It was starting to seem a pretty safe bet that he was not going to be in a talking mood. And why should he be? This trip couldn't be easy for him.
So if she couldn't lighten his mood with humor, and he wasn't in the mood to talk, what could she do to help him?

She had to hold back a sigh as the doors hissed open and he went down the ramp. Feena took those few seconds to take her first real look at the planet.
From those first few seconds, Feena only had one way of describing the state of the world, at least from an environmental standpoint;
A disaster. Plain and simple. Polluted. And this was supposed to be a nice, 'safe' area? She was starting to understand why he seemed so uptight and serious now.

"This way. We'll have to grab a train down to the Scrapfields."

Feena was hardly listening. Celeste was kicking. Hard. She clutched the side of her rounded stomach with one hand, rubbing the spot as if that might sooth her. It didn't seem to be working. Not even born yet and she was already a little trouble maker.
He was saying something about scrapfields. Must be where they were going. She nodded, reaching for his hand. Honestly, of all times for Celeste to get so active...

What did he just say about a train?

@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

He gently took her hand, noticing her sudden discomfort. Having grown up around masks, he had learneed how to read body language. His eyes could also see little Celeste. The blond reached out and rested a hand where his daughter was growing, nodding slowly at Feena. "Are you alright? We can do this another time," he suggested, shifting slightly.

 

[Feena]

Feena had grown up around masks too- of a different sort. She knew how to read voices and his was very clear to her.
He would not want to wait. Besides,

"We are already here," she answered, "I'm alright. Celeste is just a little active. She'll calm down in a moment or two."

She smiled behind the mask. When he touched her, the child seemed to settle down. A daddys girl already, it would seem.

"Come on, love."

@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

The blond nodded back slowly, still holding Feena's hand as he led there out of their grimy landing bay towards the transit terminal. "I trust you remembered to bring your sabre?" Keter asked, stopping now and again to rub his eyes clean off the gathering dirty. The air itself was dirty. They slowly made their way to the terminal, waiting for a couple of minutes for the train to arrive. It was a rickety looking thing, of beaten panels and clattering wheels. He helped Feena aboard, standing protectively by her, nervous. The other commuters paid them no mind.

"Sorry...I'm just...I didn't think I'd ever really come back."

 

[Feena]

"I trust you remembered to bring your sabre?"

She didn't shake her head or reply to that question. The answer was obvious by the way she froze up and hesitated. No. Obviously not. She never did anymore. It had become such a normal thing for her to just leave it behind now, she never even thought of it anymore. It was sitting, locked away and probably very dusty now.

She made a face behind the mask as the train arrived, clearly uncomfortable with the mode of transport. But then again, she would be uncomfortable no matter how they got there. Moving, well, anything, bothered her. And little Celeste kicking around helped nothing.

"Sorry...I'm just...I didn't think I'd ever really come back."

Feena didn't reply. Not here. She was trying not to draw attention to herself as best she could. Her accent would make it only too obvious that she didn't belong here. Best to say silent.
Her hand found his and she gave it a gentle squeeze. The message was clear enough.

You are not alone in this.

@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

They sat in silence as the train trundled along, sitting side by side. Keter never let go of Feena's hand. He would not leave her on this trip. Not for a moment. Not when she was like this and unarmed. The blond's breathing became slightly irregular as he sought to control himself. Only his senses assured him he was going back. Everything else had changed - the buildings grew rarer and more distant. This part of Hutta had long ago become too polluted to sustain life and had been abandoned by even the slaves. Now it was just a dump. But he knew where his house had been, where he had lived in joy and hardship. Back then the Scrapfield had been smaller, a source of entertainment for the children. Now...now it was a mountain that had swallowed up all the neighborhoods he had known.

The train rattled to a stop and he stood up, still holding Feena's hand. "It's here."

 

[Feena]

Here? What was here? How could it be here? There was nothing here. She gave him a questioning look, realizing only after that he probably would have no idea how confused she was since he could not actually see her face. She stood up with him, ready to leave the train and explore the mess beyond.

This was not what she really expected. What had she expected? She had caught glimpses from his mind. She knew this would not be pretty. She knew not to expect much, but still, this was beyond what she thought possible.

She looked up at him as of to ask:
You sure?

@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

He glanced at his wife, sensing her slight confusion and nodded, still holding her hand. As always, he drew strength from her presence. They stepped off the train and headed down the platform. It was a simple thing, made of sheet metal swiftly welded together. The only people visible in any direction were the workers and scavengers, shifting through the surrounding piles of junk as Keter led Feena unnervingly between the mountains of scrap.

"This was once a neighborhood, years ago," Keter began to explain, softly and quietly. "It wasn't a comfortable live, down here, but we made do. We were content," he continued, taking a left, his pace slow and measured. He would sometimes look around, as if seeing the past itself. "We would play on the scrap piles back then, when they were still small. Now and again we'd find something useful to bring home. But I always hunted for slates. If I was lucky, I would find one. If I was luckier still, there would be something to read on it." They walked between towering mounds of rusted metal, beams and ship parts falling apart all around them. "I once thought that that was why my family was killed. Because I read something I shouldn't have..."

 

[Feena]

Feena gently squeezed her husbands hand as he explained. She could tell how hard this was on him. For him to open up like this, especially under this sort of emotional stress, was positively heart warming. It was nice to be trusted, especially by him. Trust was everything in a marriage.

"And you lived close to here?" she asked, keeping her voice to a whisper.

She shivered as she examined the mountains of hazardous materials. She could think of many nasty infections someone could get from the rusted metal alone. And they were allowed to play here? Even if it was smaller, Feena would never even dream of allowing Felicity near any of this.

It must have been dreadful.

Celeste kicked her again as if in response to that thought, reminding her to be sensitive for her husbands sake. She could never know what it was like to live here and had no room to judge anything. For the work she did, it was a good lesson to keep in mind. She was here for Keter, and that was it.

@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

"Yes," he replied, suddenly coming to a stop at a crossroads. "Here, in fact." There was nothing there, not anymore. Who even knew if the bones of his family remained in the dirt? Maybe, maybe not. But it was here that he felt closest to them. "I know this is...underwhelming," he smiled slightly, glancing at his wife. "But this is exactly where I lived. Where they died. Where they were left." THe blond sighed and wiped his eyes, cleaning the grim off the lenses. He had lost his eyes here too.

 

[Feena]

Feena stopped when her husband did, looking around. How could he tell where anything was? Or where anything used to be?
It was so hard to even try to imagine that anything could have lived out here. It seemed impossible that her husband had been born here.

Life grows everywhere, I suppose.

Her hand tightened on his, but that didn't feel like enough. If only she could take the mask off and kiss him, look him in the eye and say... something. She could only really stand there and support him through this as best she could.

"Can you..." she hesitated for a moment, debating how best to ask, "Can you tell me more about them? Do you mind?"

@[member="Keter"]

 

[Keter]

He stood in silence for a while, lost in memory before beginning to speak. "You know as much as I remember...it has been so long. Little Celeste...my younger sister, very sweet but cunning. Felicity shares much of her spirit with her," the blond said, nodding slowly to himself. "My mother...a home keeper, a seamstress...she kept all our suits sealed, she worked alongside the other wives in the neighborhood to make it as homely as possible..." Keter continued, losing himself in the memory more and more. "Malga. Her name was Malga."