Generations

[Nylea Apollodor]

A destined encounter with [member="Chiassa"]​

Praxeum grounds​

Eira Pechalhttp://starwarsrp.net/topic/129633-eira-pechal/​

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Duty did not allow Nylea to set her feet on Eira Pechal often, but when time was on her side it was always a pleasure. Monastery was still the peaceful world it had always been, but the Confederacy's presence was definitely felt and although they had never been a hinder to the Sacred Lotus in any way, it did add a layer of politics the woman wasn't fond of. Here, worries of the survival of the Lotus or making harsh decisions on where to focus their efforts melted away for a while and she could truly focus on the things that came with her title of Jedi.

Although it was a different order that granted her the office of Jedi Knight, those who were with the Praxeum had never called it into question. In fact, during the times Nylea could be on the planet she often taught groups of younglings and Padawans various Force techniques and oversaw their lightsaber practice, something she was grateful for. She was still not convinced to be worthy of the position but things like teaching and giving advice at the very least allowed her to tell herself she lived up to it. In fact, her knighting had only been recently and [member='Nora Lithos'] had to go as far as tricking her into a situation where she had no choice but to accept the title for it to actually happen.

The echani looked up into the sky for a moment, watching the sun as it was preparing to set. After a satisfied nod, she clapped her hands twice and looked out to the young ones she had been teaching a number lightsaber fundamentals to. "Good job, everybody! You all did well today, gather with me and we will wrap up so you can enjoy the rest of the evening." Guiding the small group to a collection of stones placed in a circle, she sat down on one of them and waited for the rest to follow her example.

"I am happy to see the progress everyone has made since I was last here. Maybe I will steal some of you away to Monastery," Nylea joked with the everpresent warm tone in her voice, following it up with a small chuckle. "Remember to keep practicing and remember to keep pestering the Masters for that excursion to the Order of the Sacred Lotus. We would love to show you around." Although she knew approaching people about it herself would without doubt lead to such a thing being approved without any resistance, she also wanted to show them that taking the initiative was, at times, a virtue.

"With that however, if you have any questions feel free to stick around for a little while longer. Otherwise, you are free to go." The woman stood up, signifying the group was dismissed. She then realized she had forgot to say one more thing, however and she quickly looked to rectify that. "Oh, and Chiassa? I wanted to speak to you as well." The others all began to dash off, likely to be on time for dinner.

 

[Samara Raine]

Jedi Praxeum
Eira Pechal, Unknown Regions
w/[member="Nylea Apollodor"]

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Chiassa had pretty much settled into the routine of the Jedi Praxeum by now since her rather abrupt, unplanned arrival. I mean it just was expected of her to adjust without question or complaint, right?

The pace was though very slow compared to the one the older Jedi Initiate was used to at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, and there weren't any youngling clans per se at this praxeum. The teenage Tholothian was just one of the few that lived and trained on Eira Pechal at the moment... She was quite honestly bored and becoming disinterested in general, which wasn't the Jedi mentors on the ground's fault more Chia's not wanting to engage. More or less she was shutting down as the youngling was carrying too emotional baggage that mediation was not helping with; a little PTSD I suppose one would call it.

That day still haunted Chiassa... The Sith attack was unexpected and had caught the Jedi totally off guard. It had started out like any other day for the Initiate. Her clan had gotten up at sunrise, done some physical exercise, eaten their morning meal, then gone to the archives to do research for an upcoming assignment they had due. Just moments after the Tholothian had excused herself and gone to the fresher, the Sith Empire began their destruction of the New Jedi Order from within. Red sabers appeared and fighting began in earnest. The Archives were destroyed when the tower came crashing down through the floors directly below it. Chiassa from her location in the hallway outside was able to escape. She followed behind a blue-hued Twi'lek Knight up to the main hall, then to the hangar just as the last ships were leaving. She was unceremoniously tossed up onto the boarding ramp of one of the last transports lifting... the only one of her clan to survive.

Chiassa finished up a velocity sequence with her partner, then shut down the blue blade of her training saber. The dark-skinned Initiate then attached the simple lightsaber to her utility belt and walked over to where the teacher for this session had called them to. The young woman seemed nice with an easy going air about her. Chia was curious about this Monastery. She had seen it on the galaxy map while studying as space exploration, history, and cultures had always intrigue her.

The young Tholothian stood from the stone she was sitting upon when she heard her name called to stay behind the dismissed class. Chiassa nodded in understanding, then waited for the others to leave before speaking.

"You wanted to see me, Knight Apollodor?" Chia asked with a tone of 'Did I do something wrong' in her voice. She had pushed the other youngling a bit hard during velocities, but I mean come on the boy needed to pick it up a notch and not be so lazy. That is what got yourself karked as the padawans were always saying.

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

As Nylea had expected nobody to have any questions, except for Chiassa the group had quickly dispersed. This left them as the only two remaining, allowing them to talk in private like the Knight wanted. While still sitting down she greeted the tholothian with a warm smile, although she had to chuckle somewhat at the intonation as she was spoken to. "Please, just call me Nylea," she answered, making sure it was made clear there was nothing wrong. Patting on the stone next to her, she invited her over. "Come, sit down. I wanted to talk to you for a little while, if that is okay with you."

The echani waited for Chiassa to take her seat before she continued. "I heard you came here only recently, and I wanted to make sure you were doing alright." A slight edge of concern for the teenager's wellbeing seeped into her voice, but it was very much subdued. She felt the inner turmoil within her and if there was anything the woman could do to help it would be gladly done. "You were looking a bit off today. If there is anything that weighs on your mind, you can tell me. Nobody else has no know anything you say, but it is important to air those things." The most important thing to Nylea was to make sure she was comfortable, only then she could begin taking steps towards making peace with what had happened on Coruscant. She herself had been on the planet too when the Sith arrived and although she survived, she did not leave without wounds of her own. Where Nylea's were physical however, Chiassa had without doubt been through a lot mentally. She was still young and the things she had experienced were a heavy burden even for those with much more life experience.

"Of course, if you do not want to right now or with me, that is okay." The last thing Nylea wanted to do was push her to do anything against her will. "I was on Coruscant as well when everything took place and I know things were frightening, so if your feelings tell you that you need time to talk about it you should listen to that." A hand was placed on Chiassa's shoulder. "I just want to make sure you are alright."

[member="Chiassa"]

 

[Samara Raine]

Chiassa nodded her head with a yes, then took a seat on a stone next to [member="Nylea Apollodor"], clasping her hands upon her lap. The teen was glad she wasn't in trouble per se, but the woman wanted her to talk about feelings. To that she did not know where to start. There were so many uncertain ones. It was overwhelming especially not knowing how to deal with them at such a young age and inexperience.

The Tholothian had been so stoic since arriving. Trying to be brave with all that had happened, and keeping the worries behind closely guarded walls if not able to release them into the Force through mediation. Which seemed to be failing Chia as of late.

"I thank you for your concern... It is comforting to know you too were at Coruscant during the attack. The other younglings here do not understand nor would I want to burden them with the details, and I have no master as of yet to seek guidance from," she said softly to the seemingly kind Jedi Knight, then her fingers began to rub on the fabric of the tabard's hem that laid upon her lap. It was a nervous habit the Initiate did. Chia didn't really want to discuss what was going on with her, but the youngling was scared if she did not something bad would happen.

"I feel anger all the time and a profound sadness I just cannot get rid of. I have nightmares about what happened there, and I cannot seem to clear my mind enough to meditate as I was taught. Is this normal, Nylea... The masters at the temple alway said that anger leads to the dark side. Am I going to become a Sith now?"

There was a quiet terror in Chiassa's bright blue eyes that she was already following that path.

"Because I do not want to... I want to be a steward of the Light and goodness for the galaxy."

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

Chiassa's clear nervosity and the tragic words she spoke caused Nylea's expression to shift, showing compassion and sharing her sadness. The echani was sorry for what she heard and it was only now did it truly come through to her that she was still so young. Being exposed to horrific acts such as those on Coruscant left scars that never truly healed, but at such an age the effects were even worse. The youngling needed someone to confide in, yet seemingly had nobody. The very least Nylea could do was give her a listening ear, something she gladly did. She did not interrupt her, simply letting her say what she wanted to say until she asked the question.

"Of course not," she answered while she gave her a reassuring smile. "And do you know why? Because you were not afraid to tell me what is bothering you." In contrast to what many in the galaxy would say, Nylea believed being open about one's feelings was a strength rather than a weakness. It showed they were true to yourself and others, which kept them on the right path. "Everybody has emotions. Simply getting rid of them is impossible, nor should you want to. There is nothing wrong with being happy or sad." Gently the echani went to place a hand on Chiassa's shoulder. "What is important is to realize they are there, but they do not control you or what you do. Someone who falls to the Dark side forget that, they would use that anger to seek more power instead of acknowledging it and giving it its place you can leave it behind."

Nylea lifted her hand off of the tholothian's shoulder and crossed her legs into a meditative position, inviting her to do the same. "The galaxy can be an ugly place sometimes, but as long as you remember you can make it better you will always know what to do. The emotions you feel will always be there too, but learning to accept that and not letting them get to you will keep you on the right path. Shall we practice?"

The echani closed her eyes and focussed on her breathing, letting the world around her slip away from her senses. All she still paid attention to was Chiassa. "Tell me what you are feeling. Every detail. Then, try to tell me why you are feeling that. Accept the feeling is there, but do not let it cloud your mind. It is not the boss of you."

[member="Chiassa"]

 

[Samara Raine]

As Chiassa listened to [member="Nylea Apollodor"] explain how she wasn't falling to the dark side because the youngling was willing to talk about her feelings openly, it was such a relief; mentally and physically as the girl's shoulders relaxed a bit while the woman put a comforting hand upon it. She was though impatient in just wanting the emotions to go away nonetheless. More so Chia wanted everything to go back the way it was before that awful day happened. She hadn't accepted the change very well... Okay not at all really.

The Jedi Initiate nodded in understanding in what was said by the Knight, then followed suit in sitting crisscross applesauce upon the stone with her hands resting upon her knees, back straight and head held up. Bright blue eyes watched Nylea close hers effortlessly, then Chiassa did the same after a couple of ticks of hesitancy. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to clear her mind enough to allow herself into a meditative state. It was like dipping her toe into the water first to test the temperature before letting herself venture out into it any further.

The currents of the Force felt choppy and rough as if a storm was brewing with dark clouds approaching, but off in the distance was a ray of sunshine as it broke through an opening in the threatening skies. Chiassa pushed onward towards the guiding light.

"I have three emotions that I am feeling right now. Profound sadness because I miss my clan mates, raging anger at the Sith for killing them, and great guilt as I survived and they did not," Chia said with a heavy sigh, then after a moment went on.

"I am just... not sure how to let them not rule my actions. For instance, today I took all the sadness, anger, and guilt I was feeling out on my velocity partner when I got frustrated with him, or perhaps more with myself. If only I was better or stronger or braver, I might have been able to save my friends. I want to accept things for what they are, how they came to be, and why it is, but I just cannot seem to let these raw emotions go... I continue to dwell upon them and they fester. That is why I think I am falling into a dark trap set. I see the light and feel its warmth, but it keeps getting farther away every time I get closer to it... if that makes any sense?"

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

Three emotions. That meant they would have to be handled one by one, but even if there had only been one general emotion it could not have been given its place overnight. Still, a start had to be made somewhere, for a journey always began with a single step. Nylea made careful note of everything Chiassa said, memorizing them to gain a clear picture of the youngling's mind. It was clear the road to recovery had not properly been started yet, but that was why the echani was helping her.

"I see." Nylea took a short moment to let it all sink in before continuing. She already knew what she wanted to say, but it was important to bring it in the right way. In the confines of her own mind it was all there, but it often took her some thought to put those thoughts into words. "Three emotions means things that keep you from serenity and peace of mind. Shall we assess them one by one?"

While the woman remained in meditation, her presence in the Force continued to be a calming one, something for Chiassa to hold onto would she have needed it. "Loss is a part of all life. It is a painful and saddening thing, but it is healthy to grieve. I too have lost people close to me, we all have. Although I still miss them greatly, as time goes on I take solace in the fact nobody is ever truly gone. We come from the Force and to the Force we return, and that is where they have gone. Perhaps they are not physically here any longer, but their presence will never fade. I hope that as they watch us, they are proud of what we do."

In order to not overload the youngling, Nylea let a moment of silence fall to let her reflect. Only when she seemed to be ready to move on would she do so, but until then she would simply wait and let Chiassa do whatever she was compelled to do.

[member="Chiassa"]

 

[Samara Raine]

Chiassa felt the reassurance coming from [member="Nylea Apollodor"] through their tentative Force connection. It did help to make the her relax and accept more readily the sage words of the Jedi Knight. This was the first time since the horrible events of Coruscant that the youngling had been able to stay within a meditative state for any length. Something seemed to be working here so the Tholothian held onto the hope things may resolve themselves at some point with the help of this nice woman.

"Ah I see. The way you explained it does make sense I guess.. Erm Why do some Jedi bodies disappear when they die and some don't? I saw both that day... Is it because one followed the code and the other didn't?" the Initiate asked with the naivety of youth.

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

It was a complex question. In truth, Nylea did not fully understand herself yet, but she did have a basic understanding of the phenomenon. "Rest assured that whether their bodies vanished or not, they were Jedi all the same. In their own way, they all found peace within the Force." It was that very notion that kept her going. Her past was a dark one, but knowing that the people she had cut down in rage were never truly dead. It was how she knew the Light would never fade- nothing was lost forever. Still, although she wasn't the woman from back then anymore, guilt weighed heavy on her shoulders. "Those whose bodies disappeared were ready for what was to come. By using the Force they become one with it, and retain their individuality to become a spirit. Like I said, they may not be here physically any longer, but their presence persists." Although her own eyes, and likely Chiassa's as well, Nylea smiled. "One day, you may even get to speak with them again."

Once again she gave Chiassa a moment of silence to let it all sink in before continuing. One emotion had been talked about, but two remained. "The most understandable but also the most dangerous emotion of the three you mentioned is anger. A long time ago, I fell down that hole myself. It was a horrible time in my life. I was captured and forced to become a servant of the Dark side. I crumbled under the pressure and it made me do awful things. It was very easy to give in to, but so hard to resist. But, I found a way to let that anger go." Nylea never hid her past. Even though she wished it had never happened, it was part of her. Keeping it suppressed simply felt wrong. "What the Sith did on Coruscant, it is hard to imagine anyone ever going to such lengths for anything. But hate breeds hate. Anger breeds anger. It is difficult, but to be Jedi is to rise above it. To realize anger merely brings about more destruction."

[member="Chiassa"]

 

[Samara Raine]

"Mhm... It was just startling and very strange to see the Jedi disappear. One minute they were swinging their blade at the Sith opponent, and the next their lightsaber hilt was laying on the floor where their boots stood before," the teen said in response to [member="Nylea Apollodor"]'s answer to her death question.

"Now it all makes more sense and is reassuring to know that is how it works. I hope so. Maybe I can be more of a friend to them when my time comes than I was when they were alive."

Anger was the next topic to discuss. Chiassa was experiencing lots of it and the emotion was starting to cause obvious problems. If the velocity training session was any indication of how it was affecting her, something had to be done before the young Tholothian took it further and hurt someone.

"Really?!" Chia replied in astonishment to Nylea's personal dark struggle though there was a definite caring concern etched in the youthful response. "I am sorry you had to go through that. I cannot even imagine, but now understand how anger can make you do things you normally would otherwise not do. I very badly want to get rid myself of this anger I am feeling so that I can be a Jedi Knight like you have become," she said with a positiveness not felt in a long time, well since Coruscant changed her world.

"You give me hope that it is possible."

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

"That is in the past now. I did not even know the Light existed back then, but now it is all I carry with me." Although it wasn't a chapter Nylea was convinced she could ever fully close, there was no need to burden Chiassa with any more than she already had. Not hiding her past was one thing, but laying all of her feelings onto someone as young as the tholothian was quite the step further. "But I know you will not go down that path. You have seen both the Light and Dark now, and it is clear you have a pure heart." Past all the troubled feelings the echani could see it, there simply was no mistaking it. "The Jedi path is a difficult one to walk, but I am sure you have been told that countless times already. Still, you are willing to overcome those hardships. That alone makes me quite certain you will be a great Jedi Knight one day."

One emotion was left, and this was perhaps the most difficult one for Nylea to touch upon. It was something she always carried with her and it made it difficult to talk about it without feeling the irony in a painful way, even if the kind she struggled with was different from Chiassa's. "The last emotion you mentioned was guilt. Guilt for surviving. Do not take this as a harsh comment, but it is not rational to think that way." Unfortunately, there was no better way to tell her. "Anyone who survives such an ordeal is valuable. I am distraught by the fact your clanmates did not survive, but the fact you did is a blessing. I am sure you would have done everything you could to save them, but you should not feel guilt for being alive. Use the time you have been given to the fullest, Chiassa. It is what they would have wanted too, I assure you."

Nylea then took a deep breath, making sure to not let any emotions rise uncontrollably. Her statement was heartfelt but the youngling required a stable soul to hang on to, something she wanted to provide her. "Know that I am here for you. Nobody deserves to be alone, especially not you."

[member="Chiassa"]

 

[Samara Raine]

The survivor's guilt Chiassa felt maybe was even more troubling than the grief and anger she was feeling. The young Tholothian just didn't feel worthy of getting the chance to continue living when other more so did not, well at least in her eyes. But, [member="Nylea Apollodor"] was right. Their deaths, their sacrifices would be not honored if she did not live up to them and beyond. It was in that moment that Chiassa decided to begin the journey a new with determination to do just that.

"I understand better now... Thank you, Nylea. You have been a great help."

A deep breath was taken in through Chiassa's nose and as the air was pushed out slowly through her mouth, the Initiate opened herself up fully to the Force and let go of all the pain, sadness, anger, and yes guilt, though the last one was the hardest to relinquish. After a few moments, the Tholothian opened her eyes and her bright blue gaze fell upon the very pretty Echani who sat next to her. A single tear rolled down the teen's cheek. She brushed the moisture away with the back of her hand quickly, then offered a small smile at the woman's seemingly sincere words.

"I know you are, and I am here too for you."

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

Nylea remained still while Chiassa took her first step in letting the past remain there, and while both of their eyes were still closed she nodded in contentment. Peacefulness was slowly being restored within the youngling, a sign of progress. She herself often had trouble with her own guilt telling her she lived on stolen time, but the least she could do was use it to make the galaxy a better place. Helping Chiassa was one of those things, which gave her an odd idea, but one that felt right. She would present it to her later, but even then it likely had to go through the praxeum itself.

"I am just glad you will be able to give everything a place in time. Seeing people struggle with themselves is always a saddening thing to see." The echani's eyes opened and the first thing she saw was the tear rolling down Chiassa's cheek, at which point she carefully got up from her seated position and walked towards her. "You will be okay, I promise," she said as she sat down on her knees in front of her and gave her a hug. "You are strong, that is very admirable."

After the embrace was broken off, Nylea looked at Chiassa with a soft smile. "I have an idea, if you think it is a good one. I could teach you all I know about being a Jedi, if the praxeum allows me to. How does that sound?"

[member="Chiassa"]

 

[Samara Raine]

The public display of affection offered by [member="Nylea Apollodor"] was something new to Chiassa. It was an awkward moment at first when the Jedi Knight gave her a hug. The young Tholothian did not quite know how to react, but then the teen relaxed and slid her own arms forward around the kneeling woman, returning the caring embrace.

It felt well really nice to an extent that they shared. Chiassa had been left as a baby on the door steps of an inner-city orphanage never knowing her parents, then from there was given to the Jedi when found to be Force-Sensitive. She couldn't recall much affection being given to her growing up even as a very young child. The emotion it triggered was odd yet there was a comforting way about it.

"Do you mean you would ask permission to take me as your padawan learner?" Chia asked with hopeful eyes. "It sounds good. I would like that," she nodded with measured excitement and a small smile to punctuate it.

 

[Nylea Apollodor]

Distancing oneself from emotion completely, to Nylea, was never the right path to walk. There was a difference between acknowledging the fact they were there and giving in to them and as long as the latter was avoided, there was nothing harmful about accepting the fact you were a sentient being. As long as one's decisions and actions were grounded in logic and reason, they would not lose sight of the greater picture that was the Jedi way. This was her belief and although she was still young and not a Jedi master, the things she had observed during her lifetime had brought her to this conclusion.

As such, Nylea was patient when Chiassa seemed to have a bit of an awkward reaction to the hug at first. Perhaps it wasn't something she was used to, but it was a strong message that said there were people who cared, that she would never be alone.

"I was almost afraid you would say no," she responded with an overly comedic tone. "I cannot guarantee they will say yes immediately, but if they allow me to teach you I will make sure to be on Eira Pechal much more regularly. The last thing I would want to do is force you to move again." Nylea would have significantly more space travel in her future, but to her that would be worth it. "You should get some rest. In the meantime I will see if I can convince them. Does that sound like a plan?"

[member="Chiassa"]

 

[Samara Raine]

"Really? I was afraid you wouldn't ask," Chia giggled softly as she smiled at [member="Nylea Apollodor"].

The young Tholothian was finally starting to feel like her old self as things had definitely taken a positive turn here today. Upon awakening the day had seemed all gloom and doom, but now... the sun was shining with a new warmth that hadn't been there before.

"I understand, and I think I'll be able to sleep now after our talk as I'm feeling so much better," the teen nodded. "I will be patient yet optimistic that the Council will approve your mentorship of me. As for moving again, I don't mind as long as I'm with you in doing so. I actually would love to explore the galaxy."