Gandle Oddities

[Jsc]

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Gandle Ott
Kathol Sector

Temperate Type 1 Atmosphere and colonized for thousands of years. One might think Ott was a prosperous world. But she was more desert than paradise. The critters were too big, the diseases too potent, and the local bandit raids too frequent. All of the plagues had come and gone though. Leaving Ott alone for at least twelve years now. Time enough for the colonial types to rebuild their shanties and time enough for the bandit tribes to regroup into warbands. Bleh. Time enough for weeds.

"Yo Terry? ...Yoohoo. Hey. Hey. Yeah you! Where's my nerf burger!"

Sam pouted and folded her arms across the bar. Ugh. ...This Starport sucked.

"Coming coming! ...Ah. And here ya go! One big nerf burger, at your service! Enjoy."

Rivers just looked at the tall brunette man with a slow, yet rustic, building steam of apathy in her eyes. The burger he had just served was clearly, clearly, not a nerf burger.

"Umm... Terry? Look. Umm. Now, I know your the only employee who works at this Starport. Really. But uh. Here's the thing? See, you man the fuel depot, the customs checkpoint, the janitor's office, and the only restaurant in the building. But... Still? Still?"

The colorful warrior woman poked her burger with a long finger.

"Um? Is there something wrong Miss?"

Sam frowned. Welp. Then she exploded,

"THIS IS CLEARLY A CRAB BURGER TERRY!!!"

"Gaghhhh!? No! Wait please!? Gaghhhh!? ...I'm sorry!"

*whiff*

Rivers stood up from her seat and pitched the soggy red hamburger back at the only employee in the whole building. Whiff. Pew. Splat. ...Ugh... Then she sat down and sighed as he scrambled back into the kitchen to fetch another burger. Not, a crab burger. Screaming his long hill-billy apologies as he went. Bleh... Man.

Sam sat back down and put her face in her palms to sulk. Ugh. Man. What a terrible terrible planet.

...

Welcome to the Gandle Ott Spaceport. Where there is only one employee, one restaurant, and only one intergalactic delivery is made to the continent every week. Yep. The only space port in the whole wide arid expanse where the welcome signs stop to read:

"Welcome to the arse end of space. Oh... And we got quests for ya too."

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

LOCATION: GANDLE OTT, KATHOL OUTBACK
EQUIPMENT: in bio
CURRENT MOOD: RELAXED

Gandle Ott was less than unappealing. As far as the eye could see, reddish-tan deserts plagued the planet. From what Ghorua had heard of, the place teemed with dangerous fauna and lawless brigands. The perfect place for a mercenary. Plenty of jobs to be done, plenty of creds to be had.

The Whalebone touched down on the starport, a run-down place, with seemingly only a few other ships. Stepping out of the cargo ship, a being of insurmountable mass made his way to the one place to eat in the entire spaceport. The 10'5'' Herglic ducked into the establishment, the ground shaking under his weight. Ghorua the Shark smiled as he saw the rustic setting, sharp teeth glinting behind rubbery lips, matte-black helmet tucked under a giant arm. The rest of his Koodan-class armor plated his body, turning him into a plasteel colossus. Weapons littered his body, a bandolier of goodies wrapped around his waist.

The Shark plodded forward, noticing the only other person in there. A woman, also armed. Perhaps she had seen the sign too.

"Welcome to the arse end of space. Oh... And we got quests for ya too."

"G'day, ma'am. I suppose you're looking for quests too?"

- [member="Sam Rivers"] -

 

[Jsc]

Sam turned to watch the monstrous creature-killer walk through the doorway. First surprised, then impressed, and lastly rather envious. Huh? That was one big problem solver, right there. Yep.

"Damn right I am."

She stood up and smiled. Taking another moment to gleefully look [member="Ghorua the Shark"] up and down.

"And I suppose you're the Heavy, right? Ha! ...Awesome..."

She smirked and slapped the counter. Lunch time be damned. They had bandits to kill. Time to move,

"HEY TERRY!"

"Gaghhh!"

"Keep that burger yo! I got other plans now. Cheers hill-billy!"

"Whatttt!? ...But but but!? Okay!?"

Sam smirked and threw a credit chip on the bar top. I mean... At least she paid? Right.

"Come on big guy. Bounty Board is this way. I'll show you to the money so you can get started. Heh."

River's grabbed her glassteel helm and slipped her large disruptor lance over her shoulders. Ahhh. Yeah. Time to get to work.

...

Moments later they were standing outside the spaceport. Just letting the dry air flutter in the arid breeze. Mmm. Smell that red desert. Ahhh. Yep. Nothing like the smell of dug pie bricks and dry desert dirt to get your motor running in the morning. Mmm. Disgusting! ...Sam approached a beat up holoboard and waved for her partner to follow suit,

"Welp. Here ya go."

She kicked the darn thing and it sputtered, sparked, and spit slowly to life.

"Yep. One rickety old quest giver at your service. ...Hey, Crack Head? Wake up and say hello Bounty Board."

The fuzzy old bounty board quickly broke open into a robotic voice of jovial annoyance. Mostly.

~ "Ah! Hello again human woman whom I detest greatly with all of my electronic soul! Well well. I am glad to see you haven't been shot in the head just yet or dismembered gleefully by the roving bandits clans! Yes indeed. Given that we've known each other for only six hours and thirty two minutes. Well, I had hoped you managed to survive at least this long. ...Oh! And who is this giant slab of frowny-faced titanium-covered retardation? Is he here to kick my wonderful holo-projectors with his oversized baby-stompers too?" ~

Sam smiled. As if enjoying the long suffering and severe beating of the robot screen's terrible existence.

"He sure is Bounty Board. Especially if you don't manage to jimmy up and tell us where to find Marcus Thule, you dirty old piece of skrag bait, you."

~ "Ah! Of course. Marcus Thule. The one and only Black Market Gun Runner in the Seven Deserts. Warlord and Quest Giver extraordinaire. Oh course! Unfortunately. And like I told you before human. You don't have clearance for me to tell you that. So... Sorry sucker! Go F yourself! Haha!" ~

The Bounty Board seemed quite pleased with it's little presentation. Once again, Sam just smiled and turned to back to Ghorua.

"So. What do you say big guy? Think you can get our little pal here to pony up that info? I'll bet you can convince this old hunk of junk to spill the beans, can't ya?"

She smiled and stepped back. Giggling as the Bounty Board began to rethink his happy insults and cheerful slanders,

~ "Oh. Oh gods no! No please. Rivers! No. Not the giant hippo in prissy-colored armor!? Aghh! Don't let him eat me Rivers! Don't let him eat me! ...Oh gods no! Oh gods why!? Aggghhhhaaa!" ~

...

Yeahhh. It was going to be a good day.

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Ghorua immediately took a liking to the woman. She had plenty of gusto about her, a certain jolly disposition that the Shark also possessed. And she cracked jokes like there was no tomorrow. The Herglic found himself laughing as she yelled out to the other man, a deep, smooth rumble of happiness. "If I'm heavy, you are most certainly the lightweight, little lady."

At the mention of money, the Shark perked up slightly. He was here to make a bit of dough, to expand his already-extensive array of weaponry. He had a few different items in the works, and each of them needed credits. Phrik assassin droids and disguise matrices don't fund themselves. "You lead, I'll follow, shorty."

The Herglic stepped out into the baked air of the outside world, immediately regretting coming to the planet. He had never been anywhere warmer than Nar Shaddaa, and the hot earth around him immediately made him perspire. Beads of sweat cascaded down his dark face, a small frown gracing his features. "Ugh, I never knew deserts were so... desert-y." He cracked a smile, and continued to plod forward.

The Herglic stood tall behind Sam as she activated and proceeded to talk to a sentient Bounty Board. That was also a new one for Ghorua, but he didn't question it. As the woman proceeded to use Ghorua as an intimidation tactic, his smile only grew. This was something he was good at; Being big and terrifying. He nodded to Rivers, and leaned down, almost inspecting the small object.

"You've got a big mouth for having no mouth. You know, that is a good idea you had back there. 'Kick your holo-projectors with my oversized baby stompers'? Whenever I'm having tech problems, I just use a bit of percussive recalibration." Another smile to Sam. "That means I hit it. Really hard." Ghorua cracked his fists, and rolled his shoulders. "Now, this shouldn't hurt one bit." As he brought his hands together again, he activated his wrist tensor, sending an extremely loud wub-wub-wub into the humid air. The pulse of concentrated tractor beam energy blasted off into the air harmlessly. "Whoops, my bad," he feigned ignorance and clumsiness. "My suit malfunctions sometimes. That would've disassembled you from the inside. Oh well. Better hope that doesn't happen again."

- [member="Sam Rivers"] -

 

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~ "Gaghhh! Sweet merciful Poseidon! ...Fine! I'll tell you! I'll tell you, I swear! Just... Just don't phase me into a pile of goo with your disgusting fleshling turbo breath! Gaghhh!" ~

Rivers smiled and nodded to [member="Ghorua the Shark"] . Atta'boy.

"Go ahead now Bounty Board. Where's Marcus?"

The Board took a moment to gulp and then slowly replied. As if ashamed and horribly distraught,

~ "Three Horns. Marcus keeps his weapon trailer out in Three Horns." ~

Sam smiled and patted the holo-board on it's nonexistent shoulders. There there buddy. You done good.

"Welp! I knew exactly where that is. Good. So? What do you say big guy? Ready to actually make some cash?"

Suddenly, as if realizing he had been given permission to continue breathing, the Bounty Board chirped up again.

~ "But wait! That's Red Toe country! You two morons don't have enough brain cells between you to survive that place. Oh yes. Between the giant rathnids, cartrip burrowers, and Red Toe's own bandit cars? You two idiots are doomed to a shallow grave. Mmm hmm. A shallow listless grave dug with beer cans, children's tears, and rusty spoons just nearer the side of the road. Why. It would be suicide to travel all the way out there just to bug poor old Marcus. ...Oh no. You two should just leave now and forget you ever laid eyes on the wisest Bounty Board in all of galactic history. That would be much better. For all of us." ~

It seemed to smile. So proud. So content.

"Ugh. So... You want to smash this piece of junk, or should I?"

Rivers unleashed her disruptor lance and pointed it at the holo-board. More than ready to finally end this boring conversation.

"Your call."

~ "Wait! Wait! ...Please don't disintegrate me you filthy mercenary scum! Just think of the children? Think of my wife? ...Or, oh! Oh! My lovely dog Pukkie? Such an obedient steed. So brave. So proud. Why? You wouldn't deny them their father, provider, and husband, now would you? Please don't disintegrate me you filthy ragamuffins! Just look at this handsome robot's face. Would I every lie to you? Would i, Rivers? ...Would I, you fat-arsed baby-stomper giant-man... Erm, thing?" ~

...

Yeahhh.

This robot was murder bait.

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

Ghorua was enjoying this whole circumstance immensely. The combination of Rivers' and the Board's smart mouths made the Shark feel strangely at home in the desert. Playful banter was his forte, after all. He turned to Sam, and put one massive hand on her shoulder, less powerfully than one might imagine. "I'm in."

He then turned and waited as the Bounty Board rambled on. He found it entertaining, and not the least bit annoying, that the AI underestimated the pair of mercenaries. Of course, the Shark didn't know of his companion's strength, but if she had the guts not to show a hint of fear when she saw him. He respected that. "Ah, let the poor thing be. I think we've tortured it enough for one day. Besides," he added, smiling, "If we destroy it, no one else will get the chance to experience it's... powerful charisma." The Herglic pressed a button on the console, and shut off the device.

He kneeled down, almost eye-level with the small Human. A toothy smile, followed with a hand stuck out, to shake. "Rivers, is it? I'm the Shark. A pleasure. Who exactly are we chasing down? Marcus Thule? I'm afraid I'm not acquainted with this fellow."

- [member="Sam Rivers"] -

 

[Jsc]

Sam shrugged and was a bit disappointed she wasn't finally going to get kill that dasterdly little robot. But... There's always tomorrow!

"Sam Rivers. Mercenary."

She shook the Shark's giant hand. Or, tried to anyway.

"I'm with the Outback. We're the guy's who blockaded Demonsgate from the sex-crazed cat worshipers and laid claim to this sector a little while back. So, they got people like me running all over. Trying to get a feel for the territory and all that. Typical faction expansionist propaganda and all that blah blah blah. You know the drill."

She threw her disruptor rifle over her shoulder and bladed her eyes against the hot sun. Damn. It felt stupid to stand out here in the heat for so long.

"Now. To business then. Marcus Thule is the only black market weapons dealer on both continents. He's a scum bag, sure. But he's got the money and the monopoly on guns in these parts. Anybody else tries to sell on this planet? Bang. Dead. ...So yeah. That's Marcus in a nutshell. Just another gun nut looking to make his fortune. Typical warlord farkot. Headdress and all."

River's shrugged and moved to stand in the shade of the starport,

"He's also the only person on-world willing to work with mercenaries. The big colonial cities down south use their own police force commandos. Dicks with rocket launchers. That's their slogan, to be sure. Ha. Sooo... If you're looking to make a buck and actually do some good killing on this backwater planet? Yeah. Marcus is the only guy who's got the cash and the connections to see that happen. In fact. He's gonna be my main man, moving forward. ...Cause god knows those colonials don't like me one bit. Heh."

Yeah. Sam was something alright. She was a little buster for a human. Kinda figures why she didn't much mind having [member="Ghorua the Shark"] around. His size matched her ego. Or, her appetite for destruction anyway. Both were rather large quantities to be sure.

"What about you Shark boy? Here for anything special or just to kick some hill-billy ass and get rich?"

 

[Ghorua the Shark]

"Ah, you were at Demonsgate too? I was there as well, with the Paladin Consortium. Quite the place." Ghorua the Shark flashed a smile, remembering the battle. He had fought bravely on a roof, defending his allies' rear. "I didn't get to see much of the battle. I really only stayed in one spot. But, I heard great things."

Ghorua listened intently as Sam spoke. Marcus was going to be their employer, it seemed. Ghorua was fine working with scum. It seemed no one else would stoop so low as to deal with Bounty Hunters, besides Sith and the like. Scum and Sith. What more could a merc ask for? "Seems like a man with a heart of gold," he said, a slight sarcastic tinge coloring his speech.

He followed Rivers into the shade, sighing with relief as the cool shadow replaced the blazing heat. This was the hottest planet he had ever had the displeasure to visit. He perked up when she asked what he was here for. "Well, the excitement of visiting new places is nice, and the credits are an added bonus, but I'm here to clean up the galaxy. Kick butt, take names, you know? I've spent most of my life looking out for myself. I figured I might as well look out for others for once." He spoke with measured words, each syllable lingering in the atmosphere. He didn't speak much of his intentions, but he figured he could open up a bit to this woman. He would most likely never see her again anyways.

"So, where's Thule? Something about red toes? If that's a gang name, it is possibly the worst I've ever heard. Might as well have named themselves the 'Itchy-feet'." Ghorua guffawed, the booming sound of his laugh echoing out over the desolate landscape. He was going to enjoy today.

- [member="Sam Rivers"] -