Frowning

[Lira Dajenn]

[member="Hal Terrano"]

Lira stood quietly in the ante-chamber of the Jedi Temple on Cato Neimoidia. All around here were statues of ancient harrowed Jedi, men and women who were now long dead. One in particular caught her eye, a Natuolon who stood proud and firm, a Lightsaber clutched in her hand across her breasts, her eyes focused forward, and her robes torn and ripped.

She thought it an interesting detail.

Every other statue within the hall was immaculately dresses. The robes were carved and shaped to be thin and flowing, the hoods perfectly situated and their garbs perfectly fitting. This one though was different. Visible shreds had been torn into the carved stone, rips and tears that cut deep into the flesh of the statue. Lira studied it for what seemed like an age, she lost track of time, forgetting herself an what she was supposed to be doing.

Of course what she was supposed to be doing was finding her Master for their lesson.

It wouldn't go too well when Hal found her here.

Yet Lira forgot about that, she was far more interested in the immortal before her. What was so special about her? Why the cuts in the robe? It didn't really make any sense to single her out from the others if there wasn't anything special.

Did it?

 

[Hal Terrano]

Late.

While it wasn't in the Code or any of the other Tenets, Hal was a firm believer that punctuality and time-keeping fell under the category of self-discipline, one of the Knight's favourite schools of training. Naturally this caused Terrano to inwardly despair and openly frown when [member="Lira Dajenn"] was often found to be late to her studies. He didn't care for excuses or reasons, whether wandering or spending time in the hangar, late was late.

He was a far cry from Avalore Eden, the relaxed, slang-spitting counterpart to Hal Terrano's rigid and terse structure. Lira was likely thankful for the balance that came from the Healer, the no-nonsense, no-fun approach of his training was probably enough to drive some mad.

That was just how seriously he took being a Jedi.

His footsteps echoed throughout Cato Neimoida's Temple, he was done with waiting for the Padawan yet again. This time he would seek her out. As he paced towards the location of her Force signature, he prepared a lecture, readied a scolding gaze. She frustrated him so much, but then again, that rang true for many members of the Order.

Sometimes it felt as if he alone carried the weight of a Jedi, with his peers discarding sacrifice for personal enjoyment and to him it just wasn't right. Jedi were supposed to forgo life's pleasures so that the people of the galaxy could enjoy theirs.

“You are late, again,” his voice rang out, disrupting the serenity of the antechamber.

 

[Lira Dajenn]

Lira jumped out of her skin.

Goosebumps prickled up her spine, her hair stood up on the back of her neck, and her eyes popped open so far it felt as though they were about to jump out of her skull. Part of her didn't want to turn around. She knew what would be waiting for her when she turned, she knew what she would find on Hal's face. She knew.

The Frown.

Slowly, step by tiny step Lira turned herself around, inching until she faced Hal and his terrifying visage. She shirked slightly, wanting to turtle inside of her body and shrink away in front of Hal. Instead she put on false bravery.

“I'm sorry Master Terrano.” Shaky voice, not a good sign. “I got distracted thinking about the Statues here. The history.”

She hoped he would understand, and eventually stop frowning.
[member="Hal Terrano"]

 

[Hal Terrano]

The frown.

Less like the angry father and more like the disappointed mother, Terrano's gaze could summon feelings of guilt, anxiety and even to some downright terror. Even if you averted your gaze to perhaps look upon the floor, or slightly to the left of his blonde head you could still feel it. Burning. Judging. Disapproving.

Arms became folded across a broad chest as the young woman gave her excuse for her complete lack of punctuality.

History. A barely visible blonde eyebrow found itself raised at the notion. History was important, knowledge itself was power and by looking back through the ages one could find examples to follow and mistakes to avoid. However, late was still late and while the self-pursuit of knowledge was admirable, it was meant for her spare time, not time meant for training.

“Then tell me what you are thinking about, Padawan.”

[member="Lira Dajenn"]

 

[Lira Dajenn]

Lira jumped at the chance to not talk about her tardiness. “This statue. Its different than the others. Most of them are simple and quite plain, but this one...”

She looked at Hal, then towards the statue, pointing to its more detailed features and tracing along some of the lines that the artist had created.

“This one has so much more detail. Its like it was made differently, and I don't know why.” Curiosity would bloom in her words, this was something that genuinely interested her, something that she wanted to learn about. “I looked in the archives once, but there wasn't anything about it!”

The Cato Neimoidia Archives were spotty at best.

When Diana had restored the Temple at first she had found the entire place a ruin, only a tenth of the data from the library had been recovered, and even that was fragmented and broken. This of course had hampered Lira on her quest.

[member="Hal Terrano"]

 

[Hal Terrano]

It was a correct observation. While the rest of the statues represented shades of harmony and peace, the grand sculpture of the Nautolan Jedi sat with a much different aura. There was a sense of burden, of grit and determination. When a Jedi ignites their weapon, they must be prepared to take a life. The sculptor had perfectly captured that unwavering resolve in those large, expressive eyes.

The subject of the sculpture, Dasha Sen had been a Jedi of action, she was a Jedi who in her life time had made difficult decisions and who never ceased to stop carrying them upon her shoulders.

She had taken lives. Not out of anger, or impulse but out of duty. For the greater good of the Galaxy Jedi Sen had made the most difficult decisions possible, and they stayed with her, she learned from them and even in her later years Dasha Sen still reflected upon the choices she made, becoming a font of wisdom and insight for the next generation before her.

Hal may not have agreed with the actions that she had taken, opting for incapacitation and detainment before death but that didn't stop him from respecting her just as much as every other Jedi remembered in the antechamber.

Taking a few steps forward so he was at Lira's side, he turned to face the statue, studying that fabled gaze in silence before posing a new question.

“Tell me what you see, who you see when you look at this statue,” he began, before adding an addendum to soothe and take away pressure from the Padawan, Avalore was softening him, slowly but surely, “do not worry about being right or wrong, simply tell me what you think.”

[member="Lira Dajenn"]

 

[Lira Dajenn]

Lira returned to studying the statue as she had done before Hal had found her. She looked tot he woman, her eyes searching over the cold stone as if trying to find something she had not seen before. Puzzlement grew on her face, but eventually Lira began to talk, though it was far more like thinking out loud than actually speaking.

“I see...” She started slowly. “I see a woman of determination.”

Her eyes focused on the robes. “A woman that was not afraid to fight, but one that struggled with it.”

The expression of the statue told a tale all its own.

“A woman who met her end still fighting...a woman that was...” She paused for a moment, casting a glance at the other statues then back towards the one in front of them. “Respected?”

She didn't sound quite as sure as she should have.

Who was this lady?

 

[Hal Terrano]

Terrano stood silently as his Padawan spoke, letting her words echo into the room around them. Of course the girl was right, determined, conflicted, respected. They say that all art is subjective but only a poor sculptor is unable to capture the true personality of their subject before them.

“Jedi Master Dasha Sen.”

Finally he gazed downwards from the statue's face and opted to stare at Lira with those frigid blues, arms still folded across his chest as if he were another statue belonging in the antechamber.

“Her deeds are countless, there are too many stories to tell. There are Jedi, even in the Order today that would find their resolves crumbling if they had to make the decisions that she had made.”

A pause, for dramatics? No, not with Hal Terrano, he was merely searching for more words.

“Dasha Sen took several lives. She redeemed all that she could, and arrested those that she couldn't. However when the situation came where she could do neither she did not falter or hesitate.”

He would note in this moment that perhaps it would have been fruitful to take Lira to another temple with a better archive so she could learn more about the Nautolian that piqued her curiosity so. After all, getting a Padawan interested in history was a blessing.

“Could you take a life, Lira?”

Wow, loaded question.

[member="Lira Dajenn"]

 

[Lira Dajenn]

She wasn't sure how to answer that.

Lira was an eighteen year old girl. She had never picked up a blaster, a lightsaber, or any kind of weapon except for an electro-staff she had stolen from a guard. Her eyes began to search Hal's face, looking for a clue as to what she was supposed to say. She fidgeted, her entire body shaking. What was she supposed to do?

Were Jedi supposed to kill?

No.

They were peacekeepers, protectors, killing wasn't in the job description. Whats more did she have what it took to kill someone? To end someones life? The answer was simple, it didn't need to crawl into her head or push its way to the surface. Lira already knew the answer, and for some reason she was disappointed in herself.

Ashamed because she wouldn't be able to end a Sith if she had to.

Her head hung low. “No.”

No. She doubted that she could ever take a life. It wasn't in her, not now, maybe not ever.

 

[Hal Terrano]

Hal was truly relieved that no was the young woman's answer.

No Padawan should join the Order ready to kill, those that do are inevitably those who fall. It was easy to let revenge dictate your heart, or masquerade your anger as justice but rage was never just.

“Do not feel shame, Padwan Dajenn,” he voice still stoic and lacking any warmth that would have come from literally any other sentient being in the galaxy. “The burden of the Jedi is great, but you are not alone. Avalore and myself are here to help prepare you to carry this weight.” Perhaps what set Hal Terrano apart was this. He didn't view the life of a Jedi as this font of excitement and adventure but rather a hardship and life of responsibility. His lightsaber was not a cool weapon, but an object of dread.

“I have never killed,” he told her, “but every time I engage my blade I am prepared to do so. Understand, Lira, that many Jedi go through their entire lives without killing, the circumstance may never happen upon you.”

A nod, brisk and supportive.

“Yet it might, and I will help you be ready for if it does.”

[member="Lira Dajenn"]

 

[Lira Dajenn]

Lira didn't know how to answer, she wasn't sure what to say.

She would have to take a life? Well, she might. Hal made it sound like it was a possibility, a strong one. Lira understood of course why it was a thing, why it could happen, why it likely would happen. The Sith were at their doorstep. They were tearing down walls and burning planets and rushing at everything they absolutely could.

“What if I can't?” Lira said quietly. “What if I fail? What if they kill me instead?”

She looked troubled, disappointed, scared.

[member="Hal Terrano"]