For the record

[Izevel Zambrano]

There were few things in life that Izevel regretted.. One of these few things were how she had gone about handling her children. She had acted quickly to keep them safe.. But would they ever believe or accept that?No. They had her and Isley's stubbornness and temper.. They thought she had tossed them to the side.

She knew it was time to have it out with her oldest child. Nyx deserved an explanation and she would tell her child exactly why she acted as she did. In the end it would be up to her daughter on what she wanted to do.

What better place to talk over tough things than a seedy bar, because she knew that by the end of this conversation she would need a few strong drinks perhaps even the whole bars worth. She had sent word to Nyx, asking her to meet her in a bar on Nar Shaddaa. It was up to Nyx if she decided to grace the woman with her presence. In preparation to the possible meeting, she had procured a few bottles of heavy liquor and a couple shot glasses.


[member="Nyx"]

 

[Nyx]

Just about the last thing Nyx ever expected was for her mother to invite her out to go drinking. The young woman hesitated before hiring a shuttle to Narr Shaddaa. Did she care enough to go out and talk with the woman that abandoned her on Coruscant?

Apparently, the answer to that question was yes. Nyx found herself standing outside the bar, lowering her sunglasses to stare at the place. What a dump.
She entered, hands in the pockets of her leather jacket, sunglasses once more covering her bottle-green eyes. She spotted [member="Izevel Zambrano"] at the bar, and walked up to her, leaning her back against the bar.
She said nothing as she lit a cigarra, puffing on the end before acknowledging her mother's existence with a simple and curt question:

"The hell do ya want?"

 

[Izevel Zambrano]

She knew the second her child arrived. Heaving a sigh, she would glance at her daughter from the corner of her eyes and frown slightly. Clearing her throat, she would begin speaking her tone sharp and straight shooting.


"You and I need to talk. You believe I abandoned you for no good reason. Did it ever occur to you to ask me why ?To try and see the bigger karking picture or do you enjoy resenting me?" Straight to the point she would reach out and place a glass full of whiskey out for the young woman to grab.


It was time she told her daughter her reasoning, without delving to far into the horrors of her younger years. Perhaps just perhaps Nyx would come to understand Izevel did what she thought would keep her child alive

[member="Nyx"]

 

[Nyx]

"Oh, boo hoo."
Nyx took another drag of her cigarra, exhaling the cloud of smoke into her mother's face. All pity had been beaten out of the woman long ago.

"I haven't thought about asking, because I don't care."
Nyx grabbed the glass of whiskey, taking a pull of it, her eyes still hidden behind the shades.
"I don't care about a big picture, and I don't care about your feelings.."
Nyx rested a hand against her forehead dramatically, her voice taking on a rather bad imitation of her mother's voice.
"Oh, my life is such misery! I just had no choice but to dump the consequences of my actions away where I wouldn't have to look at them!"

She took another drink of the glass, swirling it in her mouth before swallowing and continuing.
"As far as I'm concerned, you're not even my mother. You're the woman that screwed my entire life over. But you're buying here, so-"
Nyx made a vague gesture.
"Please, continue with your excuses."[/font]
[member="Izevel Zambrano"]

 

[Izevel Zambrano]

"And you're a spoiled brat that acts cold to hide her true feelings ..."

She glanced at her child from the corner of her eye. A soft smile playing upon her lips, reaching out she would take up her own shot glass.


"You know. I had considered drowning you in a bath tub the night you were born. I thought if you were dead you wouldn't have to see the crap end of the stick. I wouldn't have to damage you by leaving you.. Obviously, I decided against it. You're were a strong and beautiful baby.. I knew you would be alright. Furthermore, you weren't a consequence you stupid girl. You were my first born daughter. Something my father would of loved to use in his method of keeping me in line.."


Taking a deep breath, she would glance around the bar, before you once more turning her attention on her child.

"You're a foolish girl if you think I'm here because of my feelings. I'm here to tell you one thing. I love you Nyx. I always have, always will. You may not see me as your mother but you are my child. You may hate my choices but I acted in the best way I knew to keep you safe. Perhaps one day if you ever have kids and your father turns into a genocidal maniac then you'll understand. "


A locket was placed on the counter and slid over to her soon followed by a handful of credits.

"Keep it, trash it. Do what you will with it. It's yours kid. "

[member="Nyx"]

 

[Nyx]

Nyx stared at her mother, her expression hidden by her sunglasses. Her face remained made of stone, giving no hint of her thoughts or feelings.
As [member="Izevel Zambrano"] slid the locket over to her, Nyx took it in her hand, staring at it. When she spoke, it was deathly quiet.
"I'm sorry."

She slowly finished her cigarra, tossing it in on the ground and crushing it with her boot.
"I'm sorry. I want to say the same. I want to hug ya, to to chat, to do things moms and daughters are supposed to do, but I just can't."
She sighed deeply, looking away from the woman.
"I've never had this. All my life, I wanted to meet you. Thought constantly about what I would do; would I hug you, would I ignore you, would I punch you?
"I don't blame you for doing what you did. You did what you thought was best for me. I just wish things had been different."
Sometimes, she wished her mother had killed her.
"I want to have a relationship, but I don't know that we can. I can't bring myself to love another person, anymore."
Nyx slowly removed her sunglasses, though she still didn't look at her mother.
"I'm sorry."

 

[Izevel Zambrano]

Her fist slammed down upon the bar with enough force to shake the glasses. Chewing her lips, she would try to calm the anger that suddenly danced forth..


"Stop. Do not apologize. I messed up. You suffered. You are strong Nyx. Being blood of my blood I know you feel the call to the darkness. My only request is do what you truly feel it right.. "


Nails tapped against the bar in a slightly distressed manner, her thoughts wanting out but her not knowing how to voice them without seeming cold or harsh. Once more would the woman begin speaking softly.


"I'm not asking you to love me. I'm not asking you to be my best friend. All I want is to be able to watch you continue to grow into the strong woman you have become.. That and not that your father and I are married I will be around more.. Because leave it to your grandfather to offer me as some trophy.. One last thing. If any of my family approach you. Run.Turn the other way and run far away. They'll offer you power in exchange for shackles.."


[member="Nyx"]