Find Me By Still Waters (Sahna)

[Sobaan Palle]

Do you remember the story of the boy and his first date?
She took him to the lake.​

-The Alkaline Trio​

​

​

The lake was calm and still. No breeze ruffled its waters. There was the croak of some creature in the water, the song of birds flitting about, and the occasional splash of water as a fish decided to leap its way free as it devoured some insect that had been skittering across the water surface. The trees stood silent sentry, guarding the water from whatever might lie beyond it. They sheltered it from the blowing winds that ruffled their tops like someone might ruffle the hair atop a child's head. It was almost an affectionate embrace between the two of them, until it moved on to the next tree, leaving the first to watch in jealousy.

Eventually the water's surface was broken as a stone skipped across it. One. Two. Three. Four. Splash. Another followed it, and another after that one. Sobaan stood at the edge of the lake, alone, and clearly far from where a youngling should be. A simple glance about would inform anyone that he was there alone, aside from the curious orb that sat beside his foot, unmoving. Sobaan paid the orb no mind, for he knew what it was and had placed it there himself. He focused solely on the stones as he skipped them across the lakes surface, interrupting the croaking and the bird calls.

Since he'd returned, all he'd found was that Jyn had moved on with some guy that he didn't like at all. Not because he seemed bad or anything, but because he had wanted to be with Jyn himself. He loved her in his own way. She'd been the first to take him in, and the one who always came looking when he was in trouble. She was the one that he could see the heart of without even trying. But when he'd disappeared he'd forfeited that opportunity and he knew he needed to accept that. Plus she was older than he was, and even he could see that she wouldn't wait until he was an adult. If only he'd been able to see the future and know what his father had in store for him.

Instead, he sighed and skipped another stone, this time mostly out of boredom. Jyn was a great teacher, but nowadays he needed some space from her every so often. When he'd found the lake, no one else had been around so he figured he might be the only one to know it was there. How wrong he was.

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

The lake.

It had become almost a regular pilgrimage for me, to leave the city and walk to my secret little sanctuary. I chuckled as I picked my way along the now well-known path. It was hardly mine, and it was hardly even a secret anymore. I had taken Jyn and Ar'ekk there in the past, and Ignis had found me there once as well. Even so, I suppose that in my mind it will always be my little sanctuary. The cool breeze kissed my montrals as I followed the winding path through the trees, closing my eyes every few paces and just letting out a breath.

I felt something.

The sensation caused me to pause, my footfalls going silent as I placed my hand on a nearby tree. That was odd. There was seldom anyone this far beyond the city limits. I drew in a deep breath and let it out, closing my eyes and focusing through the force. It was... a youngling, I recognised the signature as one I'd felt more or less in passing around the Je'daii temple, but I hadn't met its owner.

Well, now is as good a time as any, I suppose.

My steps quickened as I renewed my journey to the lake's edge. If it was a youngling, this was certainly no place for them to be alone. I hoped that perhaps a parent or other guardian was with them. It wouldn't be one of the stewards or teachers as I only felt one signature.

No such luck.

As I broke the treeline and emerged into the lake's clearing, I spied him. He was indeed a youngling. At a glance he looked togrutan, like myself, but his colours were... green. I'd never seen anything like it aside from him. Perhaps he had Mirialan heritage or some such. He was skipping stones across the lake, his back to me, some sort of orb at his feet. I made no effort to hide the sound I made as I approached, folding my arms across my chest. At 5'4, I was short for my race, and even at a young age, it was clear as the boy stood that he was taller than me.

Took a few steps towards the water's edge, saying nothing for the moment. I picked up a smooth, flat pebble and skipped it across the water, resisting the urge to use the force to skip it further,

One, two, three, splash!

I shrugged and turned to the boy,

"You've got a good arm." I smiled.

[member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Sobaan Palle]

He'd been so focused on what he was doing that he hadn't even noticed that someone else was approaching him. Which was probably a good thing for several reasons. It kept him from thinking about Jyn and what she was up to with her new boyfriend, which made him focused on getting over her. Also, it kept him from seeing that the person approaching was a Togruta, which kept him from freaking out and running away, as he expected all Togruta to hate him based on what his father had done to his grandfather.

When she spoke, though, after skipping a stone across the water that he looked at in confusion since he was certain he didn't throw it, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Turning to look at who spoke, he found himself looking at a Togruta with tanned skin and blue and white montrals. She was clearly older than him, based on how she was filled out, but she was also just about his height, which meant that she was shorter than he would likely be. This did nothing to assuage the sudden sense of fear he felt.

He backed away from her, dropping the stones in his hand as he did so. Fingers slrnched and unclenched at his sides and he bit his lip sharply.

"Please... I know my father was bad, and my mom ran away, but don't hurt me."

His fear was entirely irrational, but having never met a Togruta other than his mother, the fear was natural. Undoubtedly this one was very nice, as she appeared to be a member of the order, highly likely considering where they were, but until she proved as much, he was going to be on edge. His people scared him, which was his mother's fault. Perhaps she could assuage that.

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

The pang of fear that the boy felt was so strong that I felt my own heart stop in my chest for a moment.

He dropped the stone and backed away from me, asking me not to hurt him. My heart broke in that moment. Watching the half-breed, I saw myself, I heard my own pleas for mercy. He was afraid, unsure, he was me not so long ago. It seemed that it was more than chance that had caused me to find my way to the lake on this particular day. Our people, the mighty togruta, are known as warriors. We are a race of tribal hunters. Yet here was this child and me, neither of us willing to raise a hand against the other.

I lowered myself to my knees, sitting on the bank of the lake. The water lapped at my robes, making them damp, but I barely even noticed. My intent was to show the boy that I meant him no harm.

"Hurt you? Goodness me, never!" I replied softly, "you're the only other set of montrals I've seen on all of Aurum!"

I opened my palm, gesturing to the ground before me. If he wanted to come back, to join me at the water's edge, he had an open invitation. I recalled how terrified of everything I had been, it had felt like a lifetime ago now. Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep breath, and let it out. As I did, I reached out through the force. Still very much a novice, my intention was to practice my skills with force empathy, to send the boy a feeling of calm, to let him know that I had no intention to do him any harm.

After a moment, I opened my eyes again,

"My name is Sahna, Sahna Te." I began, keeping my tone soft and calm, "do you have one?"

The question was worded to give him an opportunity to decline if he was too afraid to tell me his name. I kept my blue eyes fixed on his green skin, deciding on a nickname in case he did not wish to disclose his name to me.

[member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Sobaan Palle]

The fear threatened to overwhelm him. He was considering turning and running away, but she knelt down and held out her hands in such a way as to show him that she meant no harm. It could be a trick, but it didn't seem that was likely as she reached out to touch his mind, which caused him to shake his head, because as she touched his mind hers was opened and his fear would undoubtedly travel the gap between them and tap into her mind. He didn't want that, so he rejected her touch.

For a short while, even after she spoke, he didn't move. Headtails twitched repeatedly and violently as he was thinking. After a bit, he told himself that he could get away if he needed to. He was faster than other Togruta. Nimble and swift. He took a breath and moved over to kneel down in front of her. Orange eyes sparkled as they watched her.

"Sobaan Palle."

She had to be part of the order. That meant he could trust that she wouldn't harm him. Jyn wouldn't let anyone around that would do anything to other members of the Order. Right? Right. No, she wouldn't let anyone be around to harm him, which meant that this Sahna was not out to kill him because of his parents. He didn't want to be hurt, and he didn't want to have to run away again. Jyn wouldn't like it if he did.

"Why don't you want to hurt me? My mom said-"

He stopped and squinted at her, as if studying her. But more, he was looking as he could, seeing as he could.

"Something happened to you. You- understand me?"

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

I felt the boy pushing back against my reaching through the force, so I immediately retreated.

He controlled this space, I wanted to make sure he knew that. I wouldn't do anything that made him uncomfortable, and the furthest thing from my mind was causing this child any harm. I could still feel the fear that was boiling and seething inside him. Such a fearful, broken child he was. I knew very little of the culture of our people, but I couldn't help but wonder if it was his mixed-blood that caused him to fear me so. Were we a race to shun those who weren't pure-blooded?

I shelved the thoughts as he joined me on the river bank, smiling gently at him. Even as he sat, I could see by the twitching of his montrals and those blazing orange eyes darting around that he was still jittery. He reminded me of a young bunny, so sweet and gentle, but afraid because it was seen as prey by many others. I felt honoured that he had decided to trust me.

He told me his name. Sobaan Palle. I committed it to memory, repeating it quietly to myself.

"It's a nice name." I replied quietly.

I moved my hand to trace a few lines in the sand by the water's edge. It was nothing specific, I was simply drawing my attention away from Sobaan a little, a technique Jyn had used with me. It made the situation less scary, to no longer be the sole focus.

He spoke again, asking why I didn't want to hurt him. He seemed about to explain why he was so afraid, something I was keen to learn, when he cut himself off and squinted at me. It was so abrupt that I glanced up from my scribbles in the sand to look directly at Sobaan. My other hand had moved to my montrals, stroking one a little. It was something I usually only did when I was nervous, so I forced myself to stop as he looked directly at me. He said something had happened to me.

I didn't know how to react. On one side, I was impressed. This boy was strong in the force. On another, I felt a little violated, I didn't like to have my past confront me. Even my master Ignis didn't know the whole story, and he knew more about me than anyone else. Yet still another part of me felt a twinge of longing. Somewhere in my future, there would come a moment when that would all have to come out. I didn't yet know when or to whom, but I decided that right now, so some poor, frightened youngling would not be the most appropriate time.

So instead I nodded softly,

"Something did. A very long time ago. In fact, a few things have." I paused, taking a moment to swallow down the lump in my throat, "Some good, some bad. I'm sure that some have happened to you as well. Do you want to talk about it?"

Then I had an idea,

"Why not a little game? You can ask me a question, and I'll answer it, then I will ask you one. How does that sound?"

[member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Sobaan Palle]

Sobaan continued to watch her as she spoke. He knew she was holding back and he would have pryed but it didn't seem she was really going to give him the chance to do so. It almost seemed like she was hiding the past from herself more than she was hiding it from him. To be fair that was partly the case with him, too. He should have gotten over his fear of other Togruta by then, but he hadn't done so.

"Alright," he said, holding up a finger. "As long as we both promise to tell the truth. Which I promise."

His momma had always said that honesty was the best policy. Sometimes it might hurt people's feelings to tell the truth, but they would likely get over it. If you lied and they discovered it, you would forever be branded as untrustworthy. He didn't want to be untrustworthy. That being said, he was apprehensive of how it would go, him telling her the truth about his birth. Jyn knew who his parents were, though she hadn't met them, but nobody else did.

For a moment his eyes drifted to the mysterious orb that was resting near the water. He thought about coaxing him out of his hiding place but decided against it. Some surprises were best left for other times. Orange eyes drifted to her again, moving to her montrals. Her coloration was pretty, and much different from his mother. He knew no Togruta were green, though. He would stick out like a sorry thumb among a large group of them. He pushed that thought away and focused on her.

"Why are you afraid of your past?"

Straightforward. He was a mischeivous kid, but he wasn't dumb. More like he was bored than anything. Lessons were all well and good but he felt like he sometimes knew the answers before the question was even asked. He still didn't really understand the importance of the way the Order did things, but he was certain that would change with time. For now, he just wanted to understand her, because if she was like the other Togruta, maybe his fear really was irrational?

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

The little half-togruta agreed, on the condition that we both promised to tell the truth.

A fair enough request, something that had perhaps already been implied, but I couldn't fault him for clarifying. I gave him a solemn nod,

"I promise too." I replied quietly.

The boy was something of a mystery to me. He was strong in the force, that much had made itself apparent. He was fearful, as I was. But unlike me, he wasn't also shy. Whereas I had fear and shyness compounding to effectively keep me wrapped up in a shell, Sobaan's kept him at a distance, but he knew how to talk to people, how to converse. In all honesty I felt a brief pang of envy. Had I had such skill at his age, some parts of my life might have been made a little easier. But dwelling on such things as what ifs was useless, so I shook my head of the thoughts.

Honestly, I didn't know what kind of question to expect from the lad. Some children might have begun with something easy, how old are you, what's your favourite colour and a few others came to mind. But not with Sobaan. He bypassed all the little questions and jumped straight to one of the big ones. Why are you afraid of your past. How was I supposed to not only answer that question, but to do so to a youngling?

However, as the thought occurred to me, so did another. Perhaps... perhaps doing so was exactly what I needed. By explaining it to Sobaan, perhaps I would be explaining it to myself, to my own inner child that was simultaneously forced to grow up, and never had the chance to do so properly. Besides all that, I'd promised the boy I would tell the truth. So after a few moments' thought, I tilted my head to one side and studied him as I answered,

"My mother made a decision a long time ago that saved my life and cost her her own. A few years later, someone else I knew made the same decision." I stopped there reflexively. I never spoke about him, the boy I knew growing up. But... after what I'd seen in the crystal cave, perhaps it was time to begin. I drew a deep breath and calmed myself before continuing,

"His name was Aranias. He looked after a bunch of us orphans on Naa Shaddaa. He was about your age when he--" another deep breath, "when he died. He was very brave, though. Bravest boy I ever knew."

I cast Sobaan a sideways glance, the faintest hint of a smile creeping onto the corners of my mouth,

"You remind me of him, you know."

It wasn't a patronising statement. Although the boy I'd known in the slums was human, he'd had the same piercing gaze the youngling before me had. I'd come to recognise such a gaze as wisdom beyond his years. I let out a sigh. It was good to talk about him. Perhaps one of these days I'd record his story properly, as it deserves.

"Alright, my turn." I smiled, shuffling myself to sit cross-legged on the ground. The boy had already proven that the little fluff-questions were unnecessary, so I decided against one of those. He'd mostly ignored the little orb at his feet, however, and the thing intrigued me. I nodded to it,

"What's that?"

I wanted to know more about Sobaan himself, but I didn't want him to feel like I was prying. This way, asking about the orb instead, I hoped to show him that if he didn't want to talk about himself, I wasn't going to push the issue.

[member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Sobaan Palle]

Sahna told him a bit about her past, but he knew there was more to it. She'd left out a lot of details, and he could tell it was because even thinking about those details caused her pain. Both the mention of her mother and of the boy had caused that to flare up in her. It might be mean of him, but he was going to press her about it. He was certain that if she talked about it, it would ultimately help her to move on. That always helped him when he talked to Jyn about missing his mother.

The fact that he reminded her of him sparked something in him. She had liked him. He was pretty sure of that. It caused him to sit back on his heels and suddenly feel much more comfortable. If she had liked Aranias, and saw elements of the boy in him, then she definitely wasn't going to hurt him. Besides, he could tell that she was being genuine, not hiding her intentions. Then she mentioned the ball and he grinned.

"It's not a what," he said before laughing a little. "It's a who."

He looked at the ball and whistled lightly. It rolled across the ground and stopped in front of him where he reached out and set his hands upon it gently.

"When I came to Teth I met Jyn. She was teaching me, but one day we were walking across the bridge and she pointed out this little orb at the bottom of the chasm. So, I snuck out at night and climbed down to get it. Of course she tried to stop me but she's a very slow climber and I reached it way before she got to me."

He tapped on the ball a few times and after a moment it shimmered and dissipated, leaving a little white ball of fluff in its place. The fluff ball was holding a sphere of it's own as it looked up at her, and then it looked up at him as if asking why he'd brought it out.

"She wants to meet you," he said,motioning to Sahna. "His name is Reet. According to him he's the last if his kind."

Reet turned and looked at her again before tentatively offering a paw to her.

Hello, he said to her through the Force.

Sobaan smiled and then looked at Sahna.

"My turn. What happened to make Aranias die?"

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

I could feel the child relax somewhat. That was good. He was beginning to understand that I meant him no ill-will.

He seemed to focus on my words, thinking about them. I wondered what conclusions his mind was coming to, what he thought about it all. However, I resisted the urge to reach out through the force to find out. He'd already shown once that such a gesture was not welcome, I was hardly about to disrespect him by trying again. It occurred to me that I hadn't really answered his question. I'd told him a little of what happened in my past, but not... why it still affected me. Perhaps I didn't really know. Either way, Sobaan spoke in answer to my question and I shelved my thoughts, focusing instead on him.

"A who?" I asked.

He explained about the little thing in the orb, interacting with it. I watched in surprise as the smallest, cutest little ball of white fluff emerged. My heart practically melted in that moment as those large eyes stared up at me. I heard its voice in my mind, and smiled broadly down at it.

"Oh look at you!" I exclaimed breathlessly, reaching out a finger to let the little creature investigate me. "Aren't you just the cutest little thing?!"

My attention was drawn from the creature back to Sobaan as he asked his next question. It was... a difficult one. Children and their curiosity; I couldn't help but sigh a little as a wave of what I can only describe as coldness washed over me. In way, I couldn't deny that the directness was refreshing, in a way. Other adults tended to skirt around difficult topics. Still... I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk about it yet.

"He... saved a lot of people." I replied simply, pursing my lips. It wasn't a frown, per se, but I hoped it was an expression that was stern enough to indicate that I was uncomfortable with the topic.

I moved my hand to stroke the little fluff ball's fur gently, providing it would let me, of course, but I kept my gaze on Sobaan.

"alright, my turn again. Why are you out here?"

[member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Sobaan Palle]

Reet reached out and shook her finger, wondering why she was just offering a finger. Of course he knew he was cute, by the standards of most species, but that didn't mean he was young. In fact, he was really, really old. Much older already than either of these particular two would ever be. But of course they didn't know that and he wasn't about to go and ruin her fun. So he just shook her finger and then retreated again, allowing the two of them to have their conversation once more. Their presence was relaxing to him, as he fed off their Force energy. Not in the sense that he drained it from them, but in the sense that being around strong centers of the Force was what kept him alive, and why he was the only one of his people left, as far as he knew.

Are you going to help her? he asked, Sobaan, sending his words directly to the boys mind.

Sobaan looked down at him quizzically and then shrugged.

I'm trying. That's the best I can do. At least she isn't going to kill me because of my father.

She's nice. Be careful with her.

With that, Reet turned back to playing with his little stone ball and Sobaan focused his attention back on Sahna. She'd mentioned that Aranias had died and that he'd saved a lot of people, but she was refusing to tell him how he'd died. That meant he'd died in violence. Sobaan might be a youngling, but he was nearly a teenager and he did know a lot of things already. He could put two and two together. Someone had targeted them, and Aranias had died so that Sahna and others could live. Undoubtedly she felt pain not just as the boys loss, but because he'd sacrificed himself so that she could live. He wondered if she asked herself why it had been him and not her, or why she didn't have the strength to stand with him. He didn't know, but he could sense her pain at the thought.

She asked what he was doing out there, and he shrugged lightly.

"Skipping stones."

It was the truth, but not the whole of it. He had to phrase what he was going to say carefully, so that obvious answer was just there to bide him time. That and he hadn't wanted to blurt out that he was being sullen and whiney and just wanted to be alone.

"I was gone a long time. When I came back, Jyn was taken. I was disappointed. I came out here so as not to think about it."

That was accurate, and he didn't have to say that he had loved Jyn. If she was going to hold things back then he could as well. Besides, his love had waned substantially when he'd seen her with Ar'ekk. Even the anger had subsided. He was mostly just trying to figure out what to do so as not to be awkward during training. He should have known better anyway. He was only ten when he met Jyn and she was already way older than him. Undoubtedly, him being twelve meant that Sahna was just being nice to him because he was a kid, even though he found her attractive. He decided to ignore it and reached out to ruffle Reet's fur.

"What happened to your mother?"

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

The boy glanced down to the little fluff-ball and shrugged at it. It appeared the two were conversing telepathically. I watched them with a smile, something about watching a boy and his pet just melted my heart. It was so sweet to see them together, perhaps it was that there were few bonds stronger than that between a child and their pet. When Sobaan next glanced up, he answered my question.

Skipping stones.

I quirked an eyebrow, smirking slightly. I suppose I deserved that. I hadn't exactly been forthcoming with my own answer, so it would have been unfair of me to expect the same from him. I let out a sigh, my smirk becoming a grin, as I idly stroked one of my montrals in thought. But he continued, offering a little more information. Still a little cryptic, I don't know what he meant by 'gone', but I suppose it wasn't relevant. He was here now, safe and sound from what I could tell. Then there was what he'd said about Jyn, I was confused,

"Taken? Where was she--Oh." I replied, nodding slowly.

He was a boy with a crush. I smothered my grin and gazed at him with compassion. I felt a little guilty about it, but I couldn't help thinking about how adorable it was the the boy had a crush on Jyn. It was hardly his fault, she was a gentle soul. I did feel a little bad for him, as well. It's never fun to find out when someone you're interested in is interested in someone else.

"I don't blame you, kiddo, she's lovely." I replied.

I reached out place a finger under his chin, seeking to tilt it up towards me a little if he would let me, however if he pulled away, I wouldn't press the issue,

"There's a girl out there for you, Sobaan. But you shouldn't be in a rush to meet her until you're sure you're the boy she deserves."

Oh goodness, I was beginning to sound like Ignis. Not that that was a bad thing, I suppose. That man has a lot of wisdom, he'd surprised me by how sound his advice could be. Even though he'd had to say the same thing over and over sometimes. And now here I was, beginning to sound just like him. I wondered idly if he'd be proud that of that, or if he'd just roll his eyes and smirk. I was pulled from my thoughts as he asked me his next question. This one caught me flat-footed. I raised my eyebrows, drawing in a deep breath. Boy, this kid cut zero slack. I opened my mouth to say as much, but paused. I'd promised to tell the truth, what kind of person would I be if I backed out now?

"She died." I began. The words hung in the air between us for a few moments as I gathered my thoughts. With another deep breath, I explained quietly, "I was born in a small village. When I was very young, the Sith came and attacked us. Mama bundled me up and put me on a shuttle before they reached us. There was... fire everywhere. She was very brave, I don't remember her crying at all."

I took a few moments and sighed softly before I again glanced at Sobaan, smiling at him.

"Alright, my turn... What about your mother? Where is she?" I paused, biting my lip, was that too heavy of a question for a youngling? "if you'd rather not answer... I will give you a pass for that one." I added.

[member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Sobaan Palle]

When she reached out to touch his chin he blinked. He didn't pull away, but he did scrunch his face up this way and that, trying to see her hand without moving his head. At least until she tilted his head upward. Then she said something that made him scrunch his face up even more. There was a girl out there for him and he shouldn't be in a rush to meet her? He didn't think he was rushing. It had been completely by accident that he'd even met Jyn in the first place. He hadn't been searching her out, she'd just been there. And he hadn't fallen for her immediately. That had developed over the span of a few years. It hadn't even really developed until he'd been away from her a while and realized just how much he'd missed her presence. But that mattered little when she'd moved her attentions elsewhere. Plus he was still a kid.

He didn't say anything in response to that, though his lekku twitched wildly in response. She continued, explaining that she was from a small village on Shili, he assumed it was Shili, and that the village had been attacked by Sith. When she said that his expression turned a bit dire, and his lekku stopped twitching as he reached his hands out to scoop up Reet, who barely protested before puffing away into his ball again. Defense mechanism. The little guy preferred it instead of staying exposed, even when it was just Sobaan around. Being the last of your species would do that to you.

It might be easy to mistake his reaction to being fearful of the Sith, but that wasn't it at all. He wondered if his father had been involved, was all. His mother had told him about his father threatening his grandfather because the elder wouldn't allow his parents to be together. He remembered his mother saying that she'd been upset when his father told her the truth about being a Sith himself. It was for that reason that she'd sent him away. And when she'd discovered her pregnancy, fearful at being shunned or having him shunned, she'd run away from the people that needed her and the arranged marriage that would have solidified her tribes standing with one of the others. That was why he was afraid of home, but he wasn't afraid of the Sith.

"I'm sorry," he said, feeling somewhat guilty about asking. "My mother is fine. She lived on a world that I forget the name of. Lorrd or something like that. I don't think it was Lorrd but if I had a map I could find it."

He definitely did not have a map or even know how to read one, but he'd recognize the name.

"She left Shili when she found out I was coming. My father had harmed her father, and they'd not been allowed to be together. Plus he is a Sith and she sent him away from her for that."

He sighed and shook his head.

"Parents are complicated."

A strangely profound statement, but he did find that adults tended to overcomplicate things. Really, most things were straightforward. Was it good or bad? Did it hurt anyone or not? Was it legal? Simple questions with simple answers, but they always had to add conditions, weigh risks, and a million other things. He was pretty sure that being a kid was much better than being an adult. He was also fairly certain that Sahna was being eaten up slowly by the hurt she carried inside of her. Really his life wasn't that bad in comparison to hers. He'd only been afraid because he thought the other Togruta would hate him and his mother. That didn't seem to be the case anymore. He, at least, had both parents still.

Reaching out his hand now, he rested it on her head, between her montrals.

"You should focus on the present instead of being hurt by the past. Everything they did was because they loved you. That's not your fault. Be happy to have had that."

He smiled at her and let a warming sensation pass from his hand to her.

"What do you want to accomplish with your life?"

This kid was full of deep questions. Someone better have brought the thinking caps.

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

The boy seemed to stop and think about something. Again, I resisted the urge to reach out through the force and find out what. As we sat, it occurred to me how intimate this little meeting had become. Here we were, at the edge of a place I considered my private sanctuary, sharing our deepest memories. Hardly a standard way to meet someone new. But it... wasn't entirely unpleasant. How were we to grow and get better without being given the opportunity to do so? Similarly, how were we to open up to others without... actually doing that?

He apologised to me, perhaps for the depth of his earlier question. I shrugged and smiled, a silent indication that I had no qualms with it.

So, his mother was alive. It was nice to hear a story that wasn't tragic for once. She left Shilli? So she was the togruta, then. He mentioned that his father was a sith. Immediately my heart skipped a beat and I stiffened reflexively. I sighed quietly,

"I don't blame her," I chimed in softly.

Sobaan shook his head, mentioning that parents were complicated. I smiled understandingly, nodding at him. They were. There was always something you hadn't considered, something that needed to be revisited, someone else's side to the story. But at the same time, I was beginning to understand it a little myself. I was beginning to see that sometimes things weren't always simply good or bad, or perhaps the 'good' option involved hurting someone. It was a choice Ignis had made not long ago, and I'd been the one he'd hurt. But even then... I couldn't be righteously angry at him for it because I understood why he'd done it.

Then Sobaan did something I didn't expect.

He reached out his hand and placed it on the crown of my head. At first, it made me realise how much I'd grown since coming to Aurum. Not all that long ago such a gesture would have made me flinch, possibly even squeak, but I didn't. Secondly, it struck me how sweet of a gesture it was, a declaration of trust, friendship even. In that touch, I felt as if something of a bridge had been built between us, the olive branch extended as it were.

He spoke, telling me to focus on the present and that I ought to be happy to have had the time with my mother and Aranias that I did. I smiled sadly, if only it was so simple. In that moment, I envied Sobaan. Such an innocent view he had of the world; a 'chin up, tiger' kind of outlook. I felt a warmth coming from him. Closing my eyes, I let it fill me. The gesture was greatly appreciated.

He asked another question, and I smiled at him. He just didn't let up. Luckily, this was something I had spent many long nights thinking about, and I was able to answer it almost immediately,

"I want to help people." I paused to resume tracing lines in the dirt before continuing, "Jyn found me on some backwater planet and brought me here. I want to be that person for as many people as I can. Still a long way to go yet, however."

I chewed my bottom lip, a long way indeed.

"What's been your favourite thing about Aurum so far?"

[member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Sobaan Palle]

She felt pleasant. Her skin was soft,almost as soft as Reet's fluffy fur, though he doubted anything could e er be that soft. That one had an unnatural softness to him that he was certain would even convince a Sith to change his ways. But it was nice and he could see she enjoyed the feeling he let slip from himself, which made him pleased with himself. Also meant he didn't have to immediately withdraw his hand. He hadn't been afforded the opportunity to touch many people aside from when Jyn hugged him when he came back.

She said she wanted to help people. Jyn had found her and brought her away to the Order. So she wanted to be sort of like a recruiter. Or, she wanted to take people away from bad places and give them a good place to call home. That was kind of nice. She had a good heart. He liked that. It reminded him a bit of his mother, who was always helping people with her healing skills and other talents.

"That sounds like a good idea," he said, withdrawing his hand and using it instead to pick up Reet's ball and hold it. "There are a lot of people to help. My dad says that's what he's working on, he just uses...Bogan to do it. He said it's easier for him and that it doesn't matter what you do as long as you get the right outcome. I don't know how that works, though."

He shrugged and then looked around. What did he like about Aurum? Since he'd gotten there he hadn't had much gun, so it wasn't as if he could say that he liked much of it. Mostly it had been spoiled by Jyn and her boyfriend. But he did like the place they were in.

"Probably coming here. It reminds me of home and my mother. She called me Actaeon. It means hunter."

He pondered his next question for a moment before speaking.

"What are you most afraid of?"

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

Sobaan seemed significantly calmer than he had been before. It was nice to see him begin to trust me. I was glad he had the little fluff ball as well, the two seemed to be a good pair for one another. He said that what I wanted to do sounded like a good idea, mentioning that his father was working on something to help people. I admit, I was sceptical. He had revealed that his father was a Sith, what was a sith's idea of 'help'? Those beings craved nothing but the destruction of others. They were evil.

But I kept my thoughts about it buried deep, forcing myself to consider the possibility that it might be genuine. I didn't know him, it would be unfair to pass judgement on him. After all, many had done the same to me, dismissing me out of hand because of how I looked.

He mentioned what his father had said about the ends justifying the means, and how he wasn't sure if he agreed. I nodded thoughtfully,

"Sometimes you have to step on some toes to cross a room... but it's not always the best way. It just depends, I guess." I sighed and chuckled at my long-winded answer.

The boy shrugged and looked around, no doubt contemplating his answer to my question. As he did I considered what I liked most about it. It was a beautiful place, the lake probably my favourite so far. Although... there was more than just what it offered physically. I had met and made close friends here, I had a teacher now, I had hope... and a future.

He then asked me his next question. What was I most afraid of? Not all that long ago, I might have had a different answer, or even struggled to think of one at all. But after those awful three weeks left alone in mourning, I knew exactly what my greatest fear.

"My greatest fear in the whole galaxy is being left behind by the people I care most deeply about, and not being able to help them the way they've helped me."

I gazed at him as I answered, chewing on my bottom lip as I thought of another question for him. The air was starting to cool as the sun moved closer towards dipping below the horizon. Soon it would begin to get dark as the afternoon wore on, eventually we would have to return to the city. As the thought crossed my mind, I wondered idly who took care of Sobaan, where would he go? Clearly someone was, he'd survived this long.

"Alright," I began, a smile slithering onto my lips, "I have a question for you, Sobaan. What are you going feed yourself tonight? I can't very well leave you out here now, can I?"

I'd walked to the lake, and the walk back alone would take a while. But beyond that, there was a small restaurant I'd walked past nearly a dozen times now and never gone in. Today was as good a day as any to give it a go, and if I could make sure this youngling was well-fed at the same time? All the better.

[member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Sobaan Palle]

Well that was certainly an interesting answer. It raised a host of problems, though. If people went different places at the same time, how would she decide where to go. He hummed to himself as he thought about, lifting a hand to brush at one of his still developing montrals. He didn't have a lot of friends so it would be relatively easy for him to decide where to go. There had been only Jyn until then. As it was he would have to decide between her and Sahna now and he didn't know how he could.

"I'm mostly afraid of spiders, but also other Togruta. I'm sure some of them will hate me. My mom was the daughter of the tribe leader, and supposed to marry the son of another."

His answer was entirely casual, as though he didn't think much of it and he really didn't. It wasn't often that he ran into Togruta so he didn't really have to worry about it all that much. It was mostly still at the back of his mind, where it belonged. It just lingered there. He shrugged though and smiled. Not a big deal. There wasn't any reason to fret about it all. Sahna was really nice and she was telling him the truth about everything so he had to be nice. Plus he wanted to.

When she asked about how he was getting fed, his stomach rumbled. To be honest, nobody really took care of him. Jyn would look out for him from time to time, but she didn't make him eat and she was often busy with other things too. Now she was really busy. He would often raid the fridge or something else and just take whatever it was he could get his hands on. It wasn't a problem for him. He didn't mind eating that way.

"I was probably just going to grab something from the food stores like usual. I tend to take care of myself."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Why? Did you want to go eat together? Like a date?"

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

I chuckled as Sobaan sat back and hummed at my answer. He seemed to mull over everything I said, analysing it, considering it. There was a lot of intelligence and wisdom behind those young eyes. Jyn was doing a fantastic job of nurturing that curiosity and that methodical mind. I could tell by his expression that my answer had become something of an enigma, possibly it didn't make a lot of sense to him. How does one explain to a child the concept of martyrdom?

He then told me his worst fears. Spiders. I chewed thoughtfully on my bottom lip, stifling a grin. I couldn't blame him there. Spiders, like many creatures, incited fear from many simply for existing. They are highly misunderstood animals, but I'd given up on trying to convince people of that some time ago. It wasn't that I didn't understand, with all those legs, they look positively unnerving.

He also mentioned fearing other togruta. That, I had already deduced. I was under no illusions about exactly how threatening all five-foot-four of me was, so there had to have been some ingrained fear from him for the boy to react to me the way he had. Although, his next few words seemed to explain it some more. His mother was supposed to marry another togruta, but had run off with his father instead, and had him. No wonder the poor lad was terrified of his own people. I let out a sigh, reaching out in an attempted to touch the crown of his head comfortingly.

At my next question he mentioned that he mostly took care of himself. I had to reign in my own maternal instinct. I, of all people, should know. I was younger than him when I was fending for myself, and I didn't have all the resources Aurum provided. But... I wasn't exactly the healthiest child. Sobaan shrugged, asking if I wanted us to eat together... like a date.

I chuckled, grinning broadly as my hand moved to playfully flick his cheek,

"Eat together? Yes, like a date? No... I'm pretty sure Ignis would have your head, or mine... or both of ours." I replied, still chuckling, before pulling myself to my feet.

I leaned down and offered a hand to help Sobaan to his feet as I answered the other half of his question,

"And because," I explained, "I'm hungry, I bet you're hungry, and there's adorable little restaurant I've been meaning to try for weeks now. My shout, what do you say?"

I didn't have all that much in the way of disposable credits, but I was getting there. I could certainly afford a couple of nice meals without feeling it too harshly. Besides all that, I felt a connection with the youngling, perhaps it was because I saw much of my younger self in him, I wanted to be for him what Jyn had been for me.

[member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Sobaan Palle]

He blinked when she touched his head, and then flicked a hand against his cheek. The touch certainly felt nice, he just wasn't expecting either of them. And then she went and said something that made him absolutely puzzled. Ignis would have their heads. Being as he only heard her say the name, and he associated said name with his father, he didn't quite understand why his father would have their heads if they went on a date. If anything, the older one should be proud that his son was dating at all, especially as a twelve year old. He lifted one of his hands and rubbed at his still developing montrals, looking utterly confused as he thought about this. Eventually he just had to ask.

"Why would my father want our heads? I know he's a Sith, but he wouldn't stop me from dating someone."

He looked at her with a puzzled expression. She was hungry and there was a restaurant nearby that she wanted to go to. To be honest he was hungry, too, and he wasn't going to turn down the offer of a good meal, regardless of the fact that he didn't understand what she'd said. Either way, he stood up, depositing Reet in his usual spot in the crook of his garb at the small of his back, and then offered her his hand to help her stand up. Momma didn't raise no bad boys. Troublemaker, yes, but he had some sense of manners.

"Well, either way, let's go eat?"

[member="Sahna Te"]

 

[Valgærd]

Sobaan blinked in confusion.

I was equally confused as he went onto wonder why his father would disapprove. However, after a few moments, it all fell into place. I chuckled, taking his hand as he helped me stand. The boy was a proper little gentleman, I was impressed. I smiled at him, shaking my head as I dusted my hands together. That little clue to his past was squirrelled away for later. I had believed 'Ignis' to be quite the unique name, but apparently it wasn't. With a grin, I explained,

"What? Oh, no, sweetie. The Ignis I'm talking about is my--" I trailed off.

I was hesitant to use the word boyfriend. Had we truly reached that point? I thought for a moment about the time we'd spent together; attending the festival, our lessons, and then there was the gift he'd given me. I suppose it was as much evidence as I was going to get. Had I been someone else looking in at Ignis and I from the outside? I wouldn't hesitate to call them an item. I nodded to myself, dusting down my robes as I took a step towards the path.

"--boyfriend." I finished, "he lives around here, and trains at the temple sometimes. You've probably seen him, he's the one who never wears robes."

I chuckled, beginning to walk back towards the city,

"Indeed, let's. The little restaurant I want to try is right on the outskirts. It's about a half-hour walk..." I turned to Sobaan and winked, "If you think you can keep up."

In truth, for a while I had believed Ignis had died, and upon finding out that he hadn't, I had begun to realise how strong my feelings towards him actually were. In truth, they scared me a little. I had survived as long as I did by not forming such strong attachments to people. But something about Aurum seemed to make me drop my guard somewhat. I had made friends here, good friends, friends I would give anything for. Perhaps little Sobaan would become one of them.

[member="Sobaan Palle"]