Private Falling Back Into Orbit

[Elle Mors]

LITTLE DID I KNOW​

She shifted in her seat, perhaps uncomfortably, perhaps not; there was anxiety there, concern that she was saying too much, but there was relief too over what she was hearing as she let the words pour out. Usually confident, composed, everything seemed to tumble out of her control and that uncertainty made it difficult for her to resolve feelings that she'd managed to handle on her own - feelings amplified, mountainous, with Sylvia at her side. Something brushed against her fingertips, startling her, but when she let her gaze fall down to where she'd remembered holding it she found it reaching for Sylvia's on its own accord. A shallow part in her lips preceded a quickening of breath, a tightness in the bridge of her nose and a chill at the center of her collar, and just as she'd started to let the moment overtake her - the flood of emotions from the two experiencing a sense of longing for the other, building upon the other in her heart involuntarily, perhaps a consequence of being an empath - before she could muster the courage to do something that she wanted so very much to do, a threat uttered in the past, like an echo, shattered her reverie and whispered in her ears.

"She will fail you."​

"Sylvia Virtos will fail you, Elle Mors. It is written."​

Elle's hand moved for Sylvia's, but not for the reasons it had initially. "He knew." She said quietly, her pale face growing ghostly white, voice shaken. "I don't understand how... but he knew." Her eyes had been locked onto the sight of her hand up until now, but an unspoken question that screamed in the depths of her mind urged her to look up, to show the panic on her face that she'd bottled up in a fight that she, by all rights, hadn't stood a chance. Fear, it seemed, wasn't something she could shake, even when possessed by something much greater than herself. "I.. after you left.. over Csilla, on that station, that machine of death," She sputtered, trying to explain, to put her strange behavior into context. "I met him, Darth Carnifex ." Elle said simply, as if that fact alone was all that was necessary to make things clear.

"We fought."

She looked away at that, the flash of green on red still burned into her retinas, the memory of his torrential darkness washing over her still fresh in her mind - the effectiveness of the light that had illuminated her no longer surrounding her now as it had then. She swallowed, realizing how close she'd been to never making it to this moment - how overconfident she'd been when the force had pulled her towards oneness, how invincible she'd felt - and how differently it all could have gone if she had met the Sith Lord under far less extraordinary circumstances.

"He said your name, taunted me."

Strained, tired, green eyes looked back towards her, towards Sylvia Virtos , as she admitted what she'd been trying to keep to herself. Perhaps the Sith lord had guessed right - there was perhaps a single person who could spark fear into the Jedi, and it wasn't him. Sitting here, beside her now, was the only person that made her vulnerable, the only tether to her past she held onto. The teachings she'd been given as a Sith told her to cut things off now, to give into her fear and try to save her by pushing her away, to tumble back down into that pit she'd climbed out of. Her fingers tightened around Sylv's hand.

Life as a Jedi had taught her otherwise.

"I want this, you - us. I'm afraid, to be honest, but I can't keep running away anymore."

That momentary panic, the fomenting anxiety, slowly slipped into a sort of surety in her decision. Confidence built on a resolve to make sure that the words she'd heard aboard the Mercy never came to pass, though hardly as iron-clad as it'd been at the time. "I'm sorry, that was.. I watched so many people die, Sylv, and I couldn't do anything. And.." She grew quiet, something clearly more to be said, but that certainty in her seemed to waver again, though perhaps not over the same concerns. The appearance of that impassable blast door that had nearly turned the station into her tomb haunted her, reminding her of her mortality, and it was in this that the conflict in her drew from - to admit she almost hadn't been able to keep her word.

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Tell Me How You Feel Like
Elle Mors

---

​

When Elle reached out, Sylvia reached back. An open hand was laid before her when their hands touched again, a patient invitation sent. The spacer could see the state Elle was in, the signs abundantly clear and betraying her heightened emotional state. Sylvia remembered the countless times when she was the one being comforted, but the roles were reversed this time. She accepted hers more than gladly. While Elle looked towards the joined hands, Sylvia looked at the blonde's face with mild concern. She wanted to ask if everything was okay, even though the answer seemed quite obvious already, but that ended up being unnecessary once Elle spoke again.

He knew. Two words that explained less than little on its own. Still, Sylvia left all room to speak to Elle. Gazes met once more, eyes revealing fear. Her friend had never shown fear like this before. There was no doubt that Csilla had been a place of nightmares, but to see Elle shaken up to this degree was beyond what Sylvia had ever expected to see. When that name dropped, though, it all made sense in an instant. She was left in shock, her mouth falling open just slightly. Thoughtlessly, Sylvia subtly squeezed Elle's hand while the blonde continued.

"He said your name, taunted me."

That was enough to get Sylvia to speak again. The daze dropped, concern replacing it. Had Elle not been here when she found out Carnifex of all people knew her name, had she not felt the comforting touch of her hand, she would have felt nothing less than full-blown panic.

"He... knows who I am," she muttered in disbelief. "My name. That's... concerning. Really concerning." Elle had always had the skill and heart to take the fight to others, but Sylvia was no warrior. She knew how to defend herself through everything she had gone through on Bastion, but she was no fighter. At heart, she was a creator above all else. Had she been in Elle's position, face to face with the monster called Carnifex, she would not have made it out alive. Yet, while she was not like Elle, Elle was here with her.

"I want this, you - us. I'm afraid, to be honest, but I can't keep running away anymore."

Her resolve had always been infectious.

Even though Elle's confidence remained unstable at best when she continued, she had given Sylvia enough of it. So when her friend fell quiet, a second hand went to hers, encapsulating it. Neither of them was alone. Not anymore.

"You fought a monster and lived. You risked your life for others. All by yourself. That is more than anyone could ask for, Ellie," Sylvia asserted. While she herself had spent her time travelling the galaxy trying to land on her own two feet rather than living for others, Csilla proved that Elle was much less afraid to stand between the monster and those the monster wished to slay. Perhaps the spacer had not been doing enough.

"Listen. I remember, way back... you mentioned wanting to be a Jedi. If that's what you're doing now... I want to help. You know, take on the galaxy together," Sylvia continued, struggling to find the assertiveness but forcing herself to look Elle in the eye and speak her mind regardless. "There's got to be something I can help with, and, uh... I could be doing more for other people, I guess." A floating sense of guilt hovered around her, reminding her of just how much she had been doing for herself instead of others. She had done a few things here and there, surely some everyday people ended up being better off after she had bankrupted the one or two crime bosses she had ruined the businesses of for example, but it was far from what Elle had done on Csilla. It was not like she had not been handsomely rewarded for dealing with those criminals, either.

"What I'm trying to say is... I want this, us, too, and I can be there for you. Stand by you, you know? Not just emotionally." While in her thoughts it all made sense, Sylvia was not sure how to put it into words. "So that you don't have to be alone. Being with you and... making a difference together too."

Sylvia sighed nervously, looking down at their joined hands. "That sounded stupid, sorry. Just... you get what I mean?"

 

[Elle Mors]

GET TO ME​

It was something she was never going to get used to, the only thing that had ever tempted her back to her past life - vulnerability. To feel exposed, open; it didn't matter why, it didn't really matter with who, the moment she felt like things were moving beyond her control and the things she wanted as constant started to shift the entire world felt like it was coming down on her. Put her in front of a Sith Lord and she'd stand her ground, lightsaber or not, but put her in a situation where she might admit something that could push someone away that she wanted well within arms reach and she fell apart.

It was only natural, then, that the feeling of Sylvia's hand holding onto her own in a way that she, herself, probably didn't realize melted her heart in a way she didn't know it could. She'd rode on this rollercoaster before, under different circumstances and in an entirely different context, but it wasn't what Sylvia said that impacted Elle most, it wasn't what she committed to, either. Gestures, words, they were almost always things chosen with at least some degree of consideration for the other - body language, though, was something else entirely. A withdrawn hand, loosened grip, a shifting gaze or crossed arms were the things she was used to, the signs that she was going to get much less than the words she'd been told implied.

Green eyes glanced down, again, towards the nervous grip they shared and she listened carefully to what she was told. It wasn't easy to digest, not for either of them she was sure, but the only thing that stuck with her in that moment was that when she reached out Sylvia still held on. "It isn't stupid." She whispered back, her body seeming to sink into the cushions as she leaned to the side. Sliding towards Sylvia, her head coming to rest against her friend's shoulder, she sighed. "I just want to be with you." She said softly, nuzzling into her, tightening her grip just a little. "I'm sorry if that ruined the moment, I just... wanted you to know what you were getting into." 'So you could have left if you wanted.' She added in her thoughts, leaving it unsaid.

Tilting her head back somewhat, to give her a bit of a better view of Sylvia's face, Elle shifted a little in her seat to better position herself. It was never easy to figure out of the moment was right or not, it'd taken her almost disappearing for good and expecting not to survive a planet-ending battle to decide to hell with it after all, but in this moment there were few avenues left to express her feelings beyond forcing her emotions onto Sylv with the force - which she wasn't willing to do, for mostly ethical reasons - than what she wanted to do now. Seemingly pulling away from her, Elle shifted her weight to her free hand as she turned to face Sylvia and reached across her lap to steady herself on the sofa. There was a momentary hesitation, her eyes searching for a sign that she wasn't making the right choice, but it was only just a moment before she moved.

A tender kiss, soft lips pressing lightly into each other.

She'd dreamt of this moment for years, but anxiety pulled her back anyways.

"Sorry.. I .." Her voice trailed off as she forgot what she was going to give as an excuse - an experience gained, it was one she wanted to have again and again. Either she was going to move in for another, or Sylvia was going to have to make sure it didn't happen, because this was certainly the closest they'd been in as long as she could remember and right now that was hardly enough.

Sylvia Virtos

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Sideways
Elle Mors

---

​

Meaning something to another still had the ability to take Sylvia by surprise. After years of being made to believe she held no value, that she was useless, the overwhelming evidence to the contrary was near-incomprehensible. That feeling found its way into Sylvia's being once again when she watched Elle shift on the couch, the move ending with her head resting against the spacer's shoulder. The last time Sylvia was in this position it felt different, like it was meant to disarm her. Today, in the here and now, it felt like she was a pillar for Elle to lean on. Sylvia saw it as Elle's strength to have such trust, but what she could not see was her own part in that pillar.

"No, no," Sylvia quickly said in an attempt to make it clear that the moment was just as precious as it was before Elle brought up what happened on Csilla. "I'm glad you told me, actually. Your trust, it... it means a lot." Anyone was willing to show their bright side, but Elle opening up about her struggles and being honest meant so much more. Sylvia wanted all of her, not just the good and easy parts. If the blonde thought it was enough to scare her away, she was very much mistaken.

With her head tilted towards Elle's, Sylvia watched her look up to make eye contact a little better. She would find a smiling Sylvia, who was a little uncertain about her position but wanted nothing else. Knowing she could be this to Elle was an experience unlike anything she had ever had before. The spacer found herself feeling warm, comfortably so. Right there, in that moment, there was no other place where she was supposed to be. Everything simply felt too right for it to be anything else than that.

Sylvia would have been happy with this being as far as they would go today. She felt enveloped by the bond she shared with the one who mattered most to her, and with it came a feeling of happiness that was simply euphoric. That was why her first reaction to Elle shifting again was one of mild disappointment, but that did not last long. Suddenly, they were face-to-face. Before she knew it, Sylvia's world turned upside-down.

Their lips met, something that released a million butterflies in Sylvia's stomach in an instant. She gasped in shock; not only was it unexpected, the way her body reacted to it was nearly overwhelming. The very thing she had fantasized about for years had just happened, and somehow it was even better than she thought it would be.

"Sorry.. I .."

"Shut up."

A crystal-clear command, followed by Sylvia doing the same thing Elle had done only moments earlier. Leaning in, she did the only thing her thoughts told her to do and kissed the girl she had always dreamt of being with. There was no hesitation, no trepidation, no fear. There was no need for words, a million of them would not be enough to convey anything worth more than this moment.

 

[Elle Mors]

WHAT'S DONE IS DONE​

Soft lips pressed tight to hers, heat radiating outwards from where they met, reality itself seemed to melt away as everything steadily became so much more surreal. Each second felt like hundreds but were paradoxically too short, seemingly so long but woefully short of the eternity she could have spent with her lips locked against Sylv's. "Shut up." Two words spoken like a command were followed by a kiss that they'd been perpetuating for far longer than she'd ever believed she could have comfortably committed to, a kiss that silenced her and calmed her nerves in a way that talking things through had only started to scratch the surface. All the worries, the anxieties, the memories and insecurities faded as the single-most clear signal that things were finally going to be right between the two of them was given.

She could've kept wondering what could have been if she'd chosen differently in the past, could have dwelt on the regret of mistakes she'd made that had kept them apart, and she could have apologized until she was blue in the face - but letting all of that go to just accept that what was done was done, signed and sealed with a kiss, was so much more satisfying. The past died with that kiss, a wound to her confidence now on the mend as the path that their relationship was traveling on became clear, but none of that even occurred to her - forgotten in the moment that was far and away the most intimate experience she'd had, including her literal union with the force the day prior.

"I love you, Sylvia Virtos ." She managed to say, breaking away from their kiss to speak.

Their hands had been held together before the kiss and their fingers were still entwined now, something she reminded the both of them with a slight squeeze and smile. Tears of raw emotion, overwhelming and pure, trickled from the corners of her eyes while she tried to accept what was happening as reality and not just another dream. What else to say, what else to do, were questions that tugged at the back of her mind but remained ignored when she leaned forwards and rose slightly to kiss the girl of her dreams on the center of her forehead, the hand she'd used earlier to move in for the kiss now rising from the sofa to brush aside stray strands of magenta hair away from her face.

Nothing else mattered now. Not the Sith, not the Maw, and certainly not the petty squabbles of a galaxy unsure of itself - all that mattered now, to her, was what was sitting right in front of her. There would be time for other things, but right now wasn't it. The tip of her thumb stroked the edge of Sylvia's cheek as she moved back in to kiss, tracing the contours of face before resting at the corner of her lips while the rest of her fingers pulled Sylv towards her. "Always." She whispered before pressing her lips against the spacer's.

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Where the End Begins
Elle Mors

---

​

Her eyes were closed, her senses honed in on Elle's lips.

Throughout the duration of the kiss that revealed everything Sylvia felt, all with a single action, there had been not a moment during which she felt the desire to pull away. Commitment had terrified her, once, but with her thoughts free from the indoctrination of the Sith and time spent learning from her mistakes, the most important thing she had learned was how to take that leap of faith despite the fear. The sense of longing Sylvia had always carried with her when she was with Elle was finally fulfilled now. The last piece had fallen into place. Had the sensations and emotions not gripped every fiber of her being, she would have kicked herself for not taking the chance years earlier.

When Sylvia once again was reminded that no one kiss could last forever her eyes opened to take in Elle's face, the words she heard were the only words she wanted to hear. She found herself unable to immediately say her reply, as the smile she bore witness to became the catalyst of her own. One hand was freed and with a gentle touch she wiped the tears away, one eye at a time. Elle looked so much more beautiful without them. The next few moments were spent admiring the girl before her. Sylvia had met so many people in her relatively short life, but none were anything like her. Elle was simply too special to ever be compared to anyone else.

There was no resistance against anything Elle did. Sylvia trusted her fully and entirely. A mere kiss to the forehead was not enough to satisfy her, but the sensation of Elle's fingers gently running across her face was something else entirely. What she truly wanted, though, was the kiss that followed. Sylvia swore she was getting drunk from Elle's lips.

"So much for taking it slow," the spacer spoke with a weak but amused scoff after pulling away, still a little dazed. "Not that I'm complaining."

Unable to resist, she planted another quick kiss on Elle's lips before saying the one thing still on her mind. She very much doubted the confirmation was still needed, but that didn't matter in the slightest.

"And I love you too, Elle Mors."

Sylvia had not pronounced her name the 'proper' way since they had first met, until now. Having said all she needed to say, she went back to doing the thing she wanted to do more than anything and pressed her lips against Ellie's once again.

If this was how far the two of them could take it just like that, Sylvia was more than okay with not putting a label on it until the end of time if that was what fate decided.

 

[Elle Mors]

TALK TO ME​

"So much for taking it slow."

Slow.

Slow.

All at once gravity tugged on her like a phantom, a hand reaching through her and into her chest to shove her down. She ignored it at first so they could try to have their moment, put on a smile that was genuine in intention even if it was just a cover, but she could feel the moisture on her cheeks before the sensation of spinning in place rocked her like a seizure with a kiss planted against her lips. Her breath escaped from her lips in a gasp, her fingers gripping tight onto Sylvia's arms while her eyes shut in anticipation of the feeling that had kept her lost in space for as long as it had.

Then it was over, only it wasn't - not for her.

Only for Csilla.

Pushing herself away, the sensation of touch painful suddenly - a sickness taking her as she broke into a cold sweat. "Sorry." She choked out, hair falling around her face as she moved away across the sofa, putting distance between them that she both needed and simultaneously hated. She shivered, trying to see Sylvia Virtos 's face with searching green eyes - a gaze that only saw the bright explosion that was now forever burned into her mind. There'd been the chance to stop it, to pull off the bravado she'd put up against Carnifex for a second time. A chance she hadn't managed to take.

The dull ache of her fingers gripping too tightly onto the control sticks of her fighter crept into her hands as the bright collision played out in reverse until the moment she had decided to chase after the station in her tiny ship - the moment she'd become aware of an option available to her to save so many lives. Tears streamed from her eyes while she curled into a ball and covered her face with her hands, the heat of the radiation stinging despite its passing. Things moved forward regardless of her efforts to shut it out, to scream into her mind in an effort to make it stop, despite her shaking and sobs.

"I promised." She said, her voice hardly above a whisper - hardly strong enough to be anything more.

She was there now, sitting in the cockpit, her brow arching up as she realized the option was trading her life for the planet expanding into her vision like a backdrop to the machine of death she chased after. A memory, an event set in stone and unchanging despite the guilt that wracked her - that urged her to make the trade. The slow push of her hands into the controls, the curve of her fighter away from the station and away from a course with the planet came soon after. Inside she screamed, though curled up on the sofa she only shrank tightly together.

Ten seconds was all it took for the station to seemingly launch into hyperspace and glance over the destroyer that had tried to stop it - to destroy the planet of the Chiss.

For her to trade trillions of lives for a chance to see Sylvia again.

"I promised her!"

She had screamed those words out loud this time, like an excuse, wishing she hadn't survived while so many perished. That guilt was heavy, but it was hardly the worst of it - deep down, or perhaps not that deep at all, Elle knew that the real guilt wasn't that she'd survived, it was knowing that she'd chosen to do it, chose to deny trillions the chance to see their loved ones so she could see hers.

A trillion lives to see one spacer.

As a Jedi? That was not a pill she wanted to swallow.

Not one that she had to swallow it alone, though, and just as quickly as the episode had began she was back where she'd been moments before the memory had resurfaced. Slowly her hands moved from her face and she peered out towards the person she'd been locked in an embrace with just under a couple minutes prior, silent. "You shouldn't have seen that." She said quietly, embarrassed both in tone and in expression.

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Drown
Elle Mors

---

​

That moment of shock, so sudden and unexpected, has Sylvia quickly pulling away again in confusion. Eyes swept over Elle's features in an attempt to figure out what had happened and the woman before her seemed like she was not even there beyond the physical. First, she felt the tight, near-painful grip on her arms, then she watched on with concern as Elle back into the other side of the couch. Sylvia found herself frantically thinking of what to do while at the same time being unable to do anything but sit frozen in place.

"Sorry."

"I promised."

"Hey," a worried voice spoke out softly, "what's wrong? Ellie?"

Sylvia looked into Elle's eyes, but it felt like the blonde looked right through her, and moments later those green orbs were obscured by a pair of hands. Her words got no response. She had never seen anything like this before and the confusion and concern that brought with it left her feeling powerless to do anything. Elle had created the distance herself, telling Sylvia it was something she needed to respect, but at the same time she felt like she had to shake her out of whatever had taken hold of her. An impossible internal conflict that ultimately left her in indecision, therefore inadvertently choosing the former.

"Can you hear me? Please, please..." Sylvia muttered, quickly running out of words to say. She needed to do something, anything, but the only thing her instinct told her was getting to Elle through physical contact. Hesitation struck; the last thing the spacer wanted was to hurt her somehow, but she did not want to watch on and do nothing about the state the blonde was in. Before she could break through that mental block, Elle suddenly screamed out, sending a chill down Sylvia's spine.

A thought crept into her consciousness that she did not know how to handle. Was it her who caused all this? It was a possibility she could not stand to bear, that it was her doing that had Elle curled up, her mindstate in what seemed to be complete overload.

After what had only been a short time, but felt like hours, Sylvia watched as Elle looked up and at her again. The spacer's expression continued to be one of worry, still unsure of what had transpired.

"You shouldn't have seen that."

"It's okay," the reply sounded with a whispered tone.

There was nothing else Sylvia could say. Words had escaped her. She slowly scooted her way over and waited, putting a hand on Elle's shoulder until enough time had passed for the blonde to catch her breath. That time was spent in silence, for the only thing Sylvia could do was speak through worried and empathetic eyes. Only after Elle seemed more receptive to it did Sylvia do what she wanted to, leaning in and carefully wrapping her arms around her friend. All she wanted was to be there for her, to somehow take some of that which had gotten to her away, but she was clueless.

"I... I'm here. I'm here," Sylvia quietly said with her head gently resting on the same shoulder her hand had been on moments before. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

 

[Elle Mors]

YOU AND I​

"It's okay."

Maybe that was the reality of it, Csilla was in the past after all, but then that experience had felt just as real as it had the first time, the real thing. It didn't help alleviate the guilt either, the feeling at the pit of her gut that she could have given herself, her future, up for so many more people - maybe Sylvia would've found a better life, she wasn't selfish enough to think she was the only thing that could've made her happy. Guilt that she had knowingly chose a second chance at friendship over potentially saving a planet - and the lurking knowledge that maybe she couldn't have done anything, maybe her death would have been futile if she'd chosen that route.

She'd never know now, would she?

"I... I'm here. I'm here."

Focus gradually returned to blurry eyes, sighing audibly as she felt Sylvia's head rest against her shoulder. She was still quiet, though now her thoughts were silent as well. Just this, the quiet with the two of them, was as good a remedy as any for what she'd just pulled herself out of. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?" She tilted her head and nestled her head against hers at the sound of her concern, a weak smile stretching at the corners of her mouth that took much more strength than it ought to have to form. "I wish I would have left Csilla with you." She said quietly, shifting her weight to better support her friend. "To see so many people.. gone.. it lingers, I just.." Elle stammered, jumping from thought to thought as she let her voice trail off just before she could explain herself.

"I just need you." She breathed out, trying to kiss Sylvia Virtos ' cheek reassuringly.

That probably wasn't entirely true, but she was certainly all she wanted to have with her right now.

"I.. still don't want to move too quickly. We can do whatever we want, just.. don't put a name for it, not just yet?" She asked, though she suspected she already knew what the answer might be. "I like us as friends.. I don't think that means we can't do things like," Elle said, pausing to kiss her again, "this." She added almost cheekily, her small smile a little bit bigger, a bit brighter. "But I just watched a planet explode with my own two eyes and I felt the pain of loss that tore through the force after that.. I want to cherish every step we take, even if I might want to jump right into the deep end, okay?"

She might've beaten around the bush a few times on the reason she'd felt so uncomfortable about the idea of the two of them moving on so quickly, and whatever sort of implication or notion she might've given probably felt a bit contradictory to how quick she was to express feelings typically shared in relationships much deeper than simple friendship, but in a rather blunt, matter-of-fact, tone she gave the reason she'd been hesitant like it was just a passing thought.

"That was.. morbid, sorry." Elle said as she realized how messed up that must have sounded.

"And that.. episode.." She pursed her lips at that, unsure how to explain it without bringing the mood down even more - or making Sylvia concerned for something far out of her control. "It'll come and go." She said finally, her words like a weight lifting from her chest. It was difficult to sound unaffected by something that was, in all honesty, tearing her up inside, but that was what the spacer had come to see her as and she didn't want to ruin that image for her. "I promised I'd come back for you, so I did. That's.. that's all that matters."

"That maybe we're together, whatever we are."

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Burn
Elle Mors

---

​

Csilla was as dark as the deepest recesses of the Netherworld on the day life on that planet ceased to be. Sylvia had ran away from it, driven by fear, but ultimately left wishing she had done more. The fact she did not even know what she could have done in the first place did not assuage that feeling either, but now here Elle was wishing she had done the very thing the spacer had. Those words were what made Sylvia truly realize just how horrifying everything must have been. To see someone she considered to be the bravest soul she knew be afflicted by the memories of Csilla to this extent was an experience as sobering as they came.

And in the middle of it all, Sylvia felt powerless to do anything to ease the pain.

"I just need you."

If it helped even the slightest amount, Sylvia would not leave her side for a moment. The sensation of Elle's lips against her cheek made her tighten her embrace just that little bit more. All she could do was trust her and try to accept the fact that all she could do was simply be right here. No masks, no judgment, no acts. If it was her Elle needed, she would get her in her purest form. Anything to bring comfort to her friend, or whatever it was they were now. Elle did not deserve all of this pain.

"Okay," Sylvia gently answered, trying to find acceptance with the knowledge it was all she could do. She was rubbish with other people's emotions, and she hated that. No other words would be said, all for the simple fact that the spacer did not have any more to say about her effort to fulfil Elle's needs. Hopefully, nothing more was needed.

"I.. still don't want to move too quickly. We can do whatever we want, just.. don't put a name for it, not just yet?"

With another kiss on her cheek, Sylvia thought she felt a shift in Elle's mood, but could only hope that if it was true that it was for the better. Lifting her head off Elle's shoulder, she pulled it back slightly to bring herself face to face with the blonde. "It's not like anyone can stop us from playing by our own rules," Sylvia added while she briefly returned her arms to herself in order to place her arms on Elle's shoulders, crossing them behind her neck.

The juxtaposition between the bond they shared and the traumatic experience Elle had gone through did end up throwing Sylvia off slightly, but she could hardly blame her for it. To have that much happen in such a short time could only have made everything that much harder to process. With a calm smirk, she gently shook Elle left to right, but only just once. "It kinda was, yeah. I can take it, though."

Sylvia was being groomed to become a Sith for a long time. Extremely morbid sentiments were nothing new, and this was far from the worst she had ever heard.

"I promised I'd come back for you, so I did. That's.. that's all that matters. That maybe we're together, whatever we are."

"No maybes," the spacer promptly rebutted. "We both said we weren't going anywhere. I choose to put my faith in that." As her instinct dictated, Sylvia planted a kiss on Elle's cheek, just like the blonde had done earlier. Afterwards, she gazed into her friend's eyes with a message found in her own. One she verbalized moments later.

"Listen.."

"This probably won't make sense, but... you're still here," Sylvia spoke softly. "And as long as you're alive, you can make a difference. We can make a difference."

She did not believe in fate and destiny. Sylvia believed one made their own.

"But I think, for now, you need time. How... how about, uh, we just stay here for the night?"

 

[Elle Mors]

GIVE UP THE GHOST​

"No maybes."

She hadn't meant it to come across that way, like she might've been questioning if they were together, but somehow that knowing, asserting, tone lifted her spirits all the same. She was certain of how she felt, and Sylvia had made it abundantly clear that she was waiting for them to go much further, but underneath it all the foundations of their new friendship, and the relationship they were steadily turning it into, was shaky at best and full of mistakes. The two of them were, of course, determined not to repeat those again - "I choose to put my faith in that." Was oddly the sentiment that struck her the strongest. Was it inspirational, or just comforting? Ellie couldn't tell, but it gave her the feeling that things were finally back on track, with the kiss that followed drawing her undivided attention - that that Sylvia's eyes weren't mesmerizing enough.

"Listen."

She did.

"This probably won't make sense, but... you're still here."

On some level she understood, or thought she understood, what she was trying to convey but where she was going with this wasn't exactly clear. Still, rather than interrupt and ask she listened.

"As long as you're alive you can make a difference. We can make a difference."

Stunned was probably not the state she expected to find herself in, granted surprises were hardly ever something someone expected, but she hadn't expected Sylvia to suggest she might want to try to walk a road that nobody ever ought to expect from someone else. "With you, anything." She whispered with a smile that genuine, if even a little excited. She had a different perspective on the force than Sylvia, which was certainly due to how they'd experienced it and life in general, but there was one thing that she knew for certain - the force had given her the chance to alter what might've been fate because of her own choices, with Sylvia she knew there wasn't anything that could hold her back.

She stifled a yawn, which coincided nicely with what else Sylvia had to say.

"But I think, for now, you need time. How... how about, uh, we just stay here for the night?"

'Reason number six hundred-and-eighty on why I think Sylvia Virtos is the most adorable ball of awkward in the galaxy.'

She nearly giggled at that, the coy smile peaking through while the laughter stayed inside her mind. "You would've had to kick me out." She teased, maneuvering for a quick kiss that was most certainly positioned for the spacer's lips. "Y'know, sofa is nice and all, and your floor looks.." She started, glancing towards the floor with a shift in expression that seemed caught between immediate regret and tenderness at the choice of her words, "..livable.." Elle managed, hesitantly, and paused for several seconds to think of how to phrase things as cutely as she might've wanted to. "Okay this is dumb, forget beating around the bush, I'm sleeping in the bed with you."

"If that's okay with you." She added meekly, a tinge of color reaching her cheeks.

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Wishes
Elle Mors

---

​

Sylvia would never be a Jedi, but she did not need to be one to do the right thing when it was needed of her. Even if she was far from the brave warrior she knew Elle to be, there had to be some way to make a difference. Side by side, the spacer would find that way eventually. That much had to be possible. As long as it was more than mere cheerleading from the sidelines, that was simply not enough. What she was getting herself into, Sylvia did not know, but she had taken a leap of faith before. The second was always much easier.

So when Elle did not rebuke her words but rather embraced them, Sylvia felt reassured. Hope was a powerful thing, and that was exactly what those three words instilled in her. She had said 'we' without putting much thought into how that could be interpreted, though that did not make the thought any less genuine. The galaxy needed those who were willing to make it a better place. All Sylvia had needed was inspiration, something the blonde provided in excess.

All of those thoughts took a back seat, however, the moment she witnessed something she did not know she had missed. The infinitely cute thing that was Elle holding back a yawn. There were few things that were cuter, one of which being when she was unable to stifle one. How Elle could be this adorable without even trying, Sylvia would never figure out.

"You would've had to kick me out."

Not gonna happen would have been Sylvia's response, had she not been left flustered for the millionth time that day thanks to the kiss that was planted on her lips. Instead, the spacer merely blew out air through her nose. She knew this was real, there was no way it could not be, yet it still felt like a fever dream. Every kiss was like a scene out of her daydreams. After having given up on even seeing Elle again, it was more than she could have dared to hope for.

"Y'know, sofa is nice and all, and your floor looks.. livable.."

With an amused smirk Sylvia tilted her head slightly, knowing where the topic was moving towards. She was happy to give up the bed to Elle and sleep on the couch, a thought she held onto merely to make sure she did not made any assumptions that went too far. They had shared a bed before, their dorms only had one each after all, but that had been platonic. As far as she had been aware of, anyway. Things were different now.
​

"Okay this is dumb, forget beating around the bush, I'm sleeping in the bed with you."

Sylvia was convinced it was merely to get sleep. That did not mean her cheeks were not flaring up profusely.

"If that's okay with you."

And now they were both blushing.

"Well, I'm not letting you sleep on the couch, and definitely not on the floor," she answered, hoping to somehow find a way to make what she needed to say less awkward. The effort had been doomed from the start.

"I was going to offer you the bed while I took the couch, but, uh..." Though her arms remained where they were, she found herself looking down to the floor just to be able to continue speaking.

"It is a double bed, so..." With a sigh, she forced herself to get to the point.

"Yeah, it's more than okay with me," she finally admitted. Now that was out in the open, it was suddenly a lot easier to talk about it. "Like I would say no with... this entire thing we're doing now." The general vagueness of the statement found its roots in Sylvia's attempt to keep any labels off the new bond they now shared.

Secretly, though, she could not wait for the day she could refer to Elle by one very specific title.