Control, Discipline, and Anger

[Delsin Shaw]

"Rage is an ability that you can control. To do so, you must have discipline. You need to learn how to form your fear, hate, and anger into the force. Let it power you, but do not let it consume you. If you find yourself lost within the force, you will never return."
"I know Master."
"YOU DO NOT KNOW!"
"Then show me."

Silence was all the man could do. As the Gatekeeper of the Holocron, he effectively could teach everything he knew. In the past few times that I fought with rage as my pusher, I lost myself in it. Unable to contain enough of it. Instead of just dashing forward, I needed to be able to still think, and act like myself within this rage. I cannot just become a berserker. I needed to cause as much damage as I could, as well as take as little. To do this, I can't attack without reckless abandon.

The Sith Lord spoke to me again.

"What angers you?"

I thought for a moment. Trying to think about what makes me angry. Nothing. Shaking my head.

"What do you hate?"

I didn't hate anyone. I did my job for a reason. I didn't hold any grudges. Jedi and Sith are doing their Job.

"What do you fear?"

Fear... the word played over and over in my head. I feared that i might die. I feared I could mess up. I could fear that I might lose my job, or become a Dar'manda. But there was one thing that I had always feared. One that I would never let go.

"What do you fear?"

The Sith lord asking again. His voice getting louder as he felt like I might be wasting his time. My breathing got heavy. My teeth were clenched. I could feel myself shake my clenched fists. I could feel my arm rattling to the bone. I could feel my anger, and hatred rise. The vision of what could take place. My flared nostrils were huffing and puffing as the Sith Lord once more yelled at me.

"WHAT DO YOU-"
"SHUT UP!"

I turned to face him as I screamed out. The force just jerking from me sending a force push at the image of the man. One that boomed and echoed within the room so loudly with such power that my ears were ringing.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, AND JUST TEACH ME! I DON'T NEED YOU TO ASK STUPID QUESTIONS IF I FEAR SOMETHING! I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME HOW TO CONTROL MY RAGE!"

Force push after force push was thrown in the holograms direction. One by one pounding the wall on the other side with such force, it broke through the wall. Sending debris out into the forest. The Sith just looked at me. I then lowered my voice as I stood there. Fire coursing through my veins. My vision red, but controlled.

"I don't need to teach you."
"Why."
"You are in enough control to talk to me, and reasonably ask questions. Learn to control more."
"I am in cont-"
"NO YOU ARE NOT!"
"Yes I am... I control the force."

"Yes you do."

 

[Delsin Shaw]

Turning off the water, and walking out into my room. The star from the planet was slowly going down past the horizon. Rubbing my hair through a towel as I was drying myself off, I then looked up to see Gale standing with her arms crossed. Yelling out in shock, and covering myself with a towel franticly, She stood there.

"What the hell are you doing!"
"We need to talk."
"Not when I am naked."
"Now is a better time than when you are with Darth hides-his-face."
"Marr."
"I could care less."

I rolled my eyes and moved to hide myself behind the door while I dressed myself in shorts, and a tank top. Not even putting on undergarments for the time being. Looking at Gale as she was in the same outfit, again and again. She just stood there with her arms folded. Silently standing there until I spoke again.

"What do you want Gale."
"You are growing dark."
"Yes. That comes with the territory of learning dark sided abilities."
"I don't like it."
"I know. I don't either, but the force is a tool to be used, and learned."
"Then why are you so dark?"
"Because of what I have to do in order to use the darkness, I need to experience it, and return from it."
"That doesn't mean you need to be darker than Sith. You don't have to become so dark."
"I am no-"
"SHUT IT! I don't want to hear your sob story of why you are doing this, but... we are doing this together. And I don't want you to forget that whatever you do, will impact me as well."
"I know."

Running a hand through my hair, I sat down on the bed.

"I know."