Private Confrontation

[Kyell Laysel]

Location: Kashyyyk Temple
Tag: Ara Sheridan

He was not looking forward to this.

The last time he talked to Ara was when he taught her how to play guitar, and when she had asked him to go out with her. But they never actually ended up going on a date at all. Instead, a mission far away from the Temple had introduced him to Miri Nimdok, with whom he had gotten very close over the course of about a week. Not long after, he was back to Jedi duties and assigned to help on New Aldera, where his first clash with the Empire occurred.

His opponent hadn't just defeated him in the duel within New Aldera's streets, but she had tortured and broken him, worsening his doubts about himself as a Jedi. Now, with his lost arm replaced by cybernetics and synthskin, he finally returned to the Temple to meet, and likely confront his first-ever friend. He knew this wouldn't be an easy or fun conversation for her, and it wouldn't be for him either.

But it was necessary.

Finally, Kyell knocked on the door of her room. It was the first place he went looking for her, and if she was there, she likely already knew that he'd be standing outside her door at this point. He had changed a lot, even when disregarding the cybernetics — physically he was stronger, his demeanor was less timid, but especially his eyes revealed how much the battle had affected him.

There was a pain behind them.

 

[Ara Sheridan]

Sitting on her bed, Ara's hands gently held a guitar on her lap as she waited for the performance on her datapad to reach her part. Falling into sync, her fingers quickly moved to play the notes with practiced precision. After he showed her the basics, and Jedi duties tore them from being able to actually spend more time with each other, she continued to practice just like with everything else. Playing an epic rock performance together with hi would definitely become a new hobby for her at this rate.

The electric guitar sang, with only a few notes getting skipped or played wrong. She didn't beat herself up too much about it, the performance was known to be a tricky one for new players. She had come to realize just why Kyell was so in love with his music. It made for an amazing form of meditation, clearing one's mind, and simply venting any frustrations that could arise. The aggression coming from her playing was a clear indicator that she had a lot on her plate. Her master had returned, she had doubts on her capabilities after her sparring sessions on Coruscant... and Kyell missed their date. She knew he was deployed, so she didn't think too much about it. She knew he was gone at least. She simply didn't expect him to be gone this long. But it was the life they agreed to. To serve and defend the weak and innocent. Serving and defending wasn't exactly a quick business. Though she was still unhappy over preparing one hell of a meal for the two of them, only for him to not meet her in the forest for their picnic.

Through the violent performance, the faint sound of knocking managed to draw her attention. She stopped playing and looked up, stopping the video as she focused on the presence outside. "Wait..." She muttered as a grin formed along her features. It was him.

She carefully set the guitar aside and hopped off, patting down her sweatpants and shirt before she opened the door to look up at Kyell. "You're back!" With a laugh she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace, even sneaking a kiss on his cheek in before she dragged him into the room. "I can't believe it, you're finally back!" She quickly set her guitar aside on its stand and gestured to the bed as she went to get them both some soda from a small fridge in the corner. "Holy kriff, we've got a ton to catch up on..." She studied him for a moment. He looked worn. The kind of look she recognized very well. "You look like hell. You okay?" She asked as she handed him a soda and sat down next to him with a hand on his shoulder.

Kyell Laysel

 

[Kyell Laysel]

Location: Kashyyyk Temple
Tag: Ara Sheridan

The music.

It hadn't registered when he first approached the door, as his own thoughts and worries were so incredibly loud that he couldn't even hear something he had always loved so much. But to know she had been practicing, using his lessons... he felt his muscles tighten up, his jaw clenched and for a moment, he felt as if he couldn't breathe anymore.

But then the door opened.

"You're back!" she called out, and without wasting a second, she wrapped her arms around him. In the past, he would have freaked out and awkwardly squirmed around, but this time he stood completely still. His hands briefly came up instinctively, but rather than returning the tight hug, his hands settled very faintly against her sides as if he wasn't sure what to even do. Only the kiss against his cheek sparked a reaction, and there was an almost uneasy feeling to the way he twitched.

<Ara... it's been a while,> he began while she pulled him inside the room.

She was talking quite a bit, the way she usually did, and she seemed so excited for him to be back. But it was almost as if he didn't share that excitement, even though beneath the surface, he was definitely glad to see her again.

"You look like hell. You okay?"

He looked up after sitting down on the side of her bed with the soda in hand, and frowned, <Ara, we really need to talk,> he said with an unusually serious, yet calm and deep tone. There was definitely worry and tension in his voice, but it was faint. <I'm sorry I wasn't here when we agreed to meet.> he began before his eyes shifted to the cybernetic arm. His fingers flexed a little, showing he still needed to get used to it.

<A lot has happened... a lot has changed.>

 

[Ara Sheridan]

The longer she stared at him, the more concerned she grew. This wasn't like him. Not one bit. He was a quiet guy, that came with the territory. But reserved was a lot different than distant. She knew those eyes. Her mother occasionally had them after a bad dream. The soldiers usually have them, the people in Underworld had them too. Even his greeting didn't sit right with her. But when he looked at her arms, her frown deepend as her eyes went wide. "What the hell happened to you?" She muttered, setting her soda aside as she turned to face him.

"Kark the picnic, there's always another day. Who did this?" She spoke up with a mix of anger and worry as she took hold of the hand, studying the synth-skin and the hard metal underneath. She looked into his eyes again. Usually they were happy, carefree, full of life that had been spared the harsh hand of the Galaxy. Eyes she grew to love and hope to preserve. Eyes she hadn't seen in her life before meeting him. But now... the darkness that hid behind those eyes was one she knew better than most.

"Kyell... what happened? I... I can help you if you're not used to it yet." She clearly didn't know what to say, or how to respond. She felt helpless for a moment, unable to think of a way to make this right. No amount of bacta baths was going to fix this. She massaged her brow as she looked away towards her closet. He was supposed to leave her his flute when he left, but he never dropped it off.

She looked back to him again with eyes that was far too familiar with this sight. "What do you want to talk about?" She asked softly, holding his good hand.

Kyell Laysel

 

[Kyell Laysel]

Location: Kashyyyk Temple
Tag: Ara Sheridan

"What the hell happened to you?"

The question was left unanswered for far too long, as he tried to find the right words. Where would he even begin to explain it all, and how could he word it in a way that... in a way that didn't completely shatter her heart? The longer he thought about it, the more distant he seemed to grow, and soon enough, he realized there was no easy way for him to share the news. But she deserved to know what had happened.

Ara was the first-ever person who had given him a chance, his first-ever friend.

"Kyell... what happened? I... I can help you if you're not used to it yet."

Her words finally snapped him from his circular thoughts, and for the first time today, he made proper eye contact, <Ara, I'm so sorry," he said, his words not filled with regret persé, but definitely a hint of pain. <I left for a mission I had taken on to surprise and impress Master Yenna. I wanted to retrieve artifacts from an ancient Sanctum for her to study,> he began, and it was very clear by the way he spoke that he was getting to the difficult part.

<While I was there, I met someone who helped me and saved my life. Her name is Miri Nimdok, and through the hardships and adventures there, we... grew close together.> He paused a moment and kept looking at her, <Very close...> He had never been in a position like this before, so to be open and give the facts straight was hard for him, but Ara wasn't a fool, and likely understood what it meant just by the way he talked alone.

<We spent about a week together before I was called away, and to the front on New Aldera. That's where this happened.> He held up the cybernetic arm and balled the hand into a fist. <An Imperial Knight bested me in a duel, and...> he stopped and looked down with a deep frown, <She wasn't there to kill me. She wanted to break me.>

 

[Ara Sheridan]

She didn't realize it until now, but only when his eyes flicked directly at hers, did it sink in that he hadn't looked at her once since she opened the door. And that despair behind his eyes brought back a host of memories. He apologized, before saying anything else. No words of kindness, or love, just a cold apology that already had the worst thought brewing in her head. Even his voice in her head, once cool and soothing, no longer held that calming presence.

He explained what happened, who he met, and how he ended up without an arm. For a long moment Ara simply stared at him before finally turning around and brushing her hair back behind her horns and ears. With a deep breath, she let out a long, shaky exhale as she tried to not only process what he had said, but also contain her emotions.

The thing that stuck in her mind the most was the last bit of his explanation. She didn't even want to try and entertain the thought that someone, especially him would stoop so low as to hook up with someone behind her back, let alone just be with them. After several moments, she finally took another deep breath and turned to look at him. "An imperial knight, huh?" She spoke with anger boiling in her voice. "No beating around it now. We're at full-send war with the Empire?" She managed to say clearly as she walked over and opened her soda, taking deep gulps to let the fizz burn her nose and mouth in an attempt to dull out the hurricane of emotions inside her.

"Honestly, dude, don't pull jokes like that. You're terrible at 'em, so rather leave it to those that can joke like that." She muttered through her grimace as she set the empty can aside and took his for another sip. "When's the next fight? I'm coming with you. I'm gonna flat-line 'em myself if I have to. They don't get to kark up my man and get away with it." He voice was shaking, nearly cracking as she slowly shook her head and took another deep gulp at the soda. A voice that betrayed years of pain and suffering in the guts of Coruscant.

"I'm being serious, Kyell. I'm shipping out with you next time. And honestly, don't pull crap like that on me. I can take a lot of hits and a lot of jokes, but I got a red-line on both." Her green eyes glared at him as she stood over him, deep breaths trying hard to keep her calm and collected.

In hopes of just shoving all of the bad thoughts and pain aside, she set the empty can down and walked over to lift up her guitar. "I've... been practicing a lot. Thought me and you could jam sometime after you settled in and rested up. But... if you can't play yet... you can help me with some stuff I've been struggling with." Through the cold anger, a sincere happiness managed to creep through as she looked at him. Even the shadow of a smile on her features carried a genuine hope that he was simply dealing with the trauma of the fight, and a bad joke crept through. "I'll, uh... also get some lunch for us. You look hungry. Come on, fresh air will do you good." She continued, making her way to the door as she held out a hand towards him, beckoning him towards her.

Kyell Laysel

 

[Kyell Laysel]

Location: Kashyyyk Temple
Tag: Ara Sheridan

<Ara...>

While she dismissed it as a joke, he again spent several seconds trying to figure out a good way to deliver the news, to find a way to not hurt her. But as she moved through the room, picked up her soda, and talked about coming with him to the next battle, he could notice how much it had already hurt her. Even with the perception of it being a joke, there was worry and nervousness he could pick up on, and it was painful for him to see.

<Yeah, it's going to be all-out war...>

He swallowed hard and watched her pick up the guitar next, which a part of him wanted to use as an escape. It was so much easier to just not talk about the difficult things, and focus on what they loved. To make music, laugh at jokes, go on adventures, and grab lunch together. He could feel just how happy it made her, and again, it only brought him more pain. So as much as he wanted to accept her offer, have lunch with her and spend some time laughing, he looked up into her eyes and spoke again.

<Ara, it wasn't a joke.>

As much as he wanted to look away or down at the floor, he forced himself to look at her, so he wouldn't try to make this easier on himself. He had to tell her the truth and accept whatever consequences it would have on their relationship, <I'm sorry I'm only telling you now, and I know it's not what you wanted to hear after everything...> he frowned, wanting to add another "I'm sorry" again, but it wouldn't sound believable. He had gotten close with Miri because it felt so right to him, and to now claim a form of regret wouldn't be sincere.

He only regretted not being more open with Ara sooner.

<I care a lot about you, Ara. You were my first friend, and I will always care about you. But...> I've fallen in love with someone else. The words were figuratively stuck in his throat, but at this point, he was quite certain that she understood. The hope that they could remain close friends lingered, but he also feared the worst.

 

[Ara Sheridan]

Despite all of her attempts at trying to shove it aside, denying what she already knew, the crushing weight of it broke through into her mind and heart. Her hand lowered as the faint smile faltered into a harsh scowl, with each word he projected into her mind making it worse. "Shut the kriff up. Get the kriff out of my head." She hissed with a slow shake of her head as she walked away from the door, her hands trembling with anger.

"Three years. Three. Karking. Years. You know how long that is, Kyell?" She asked him, purposefully waiting for an answer. "THAT'S HOW LONG WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER!" She exploded in anger, giving him a hard shove against his chest before pacing about in her room. "I opened up to you! I let you in after I pushed everyone else away! And you... kark it all out the window for some floozy you've known for a week?! Huh?!" She leaned in as she glared at him, tears forming in her eyes. "Kark your caring, you spineless karkin' nerf herder! If you cared, you wouldn't be chasing some other broad's tail behind my back. The kark kind of sick lessons did your parents teach you?"

She took a few heaving breaths, restraining herself from physically attacking him. Her head was pressed against her closet as she gave a harsh sniff, her finger nails forcing into her palms. She was quiet for several long moments as she sniffed and heaved shaky breaths. She finally pushed herself off the wall and looked at him with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Kyell... please... don't do this. I care about you. I karkin' love you, you moof milker. Please... call it off with her. I'll... I'll change, I'll never bring this up, I'll help you with your arm... I'll do whatever you want..." She tried to bargain, still clinging to the last few strands of hope she had in her.

"Don't do this to me." She continued with a cracking voice. Blood started to pool in her fists, drawing her attention to her hands. Pain didn't even show on her face as she opened her hands and wiped them off against her pants. She looked back to him with a pleading look, fighting the urge to run up and hug him.

Kyell Laysel

 

[Kyell Laysel]

Location: Kashyyyk Temple
Tag: Ara Sheridan

"Shut the kriff up. Get the kriff out of my head."

He looked at her, hurt visible in his eyes, but he understood it was nothing compared to the pain she felt. So his eyes dropped and he fell silent the way he had always been before he met Ara. The anger in her was rising quickly, but even when she shoved him after reminding him of how long they'd known each other, Kyell was silent. His eyes were drawn up now, looking into hers as she glared at him with tears in her eyes.

It was unbearably painful.

But it only got worse.

"Kyell... please... don't do this. I care about you. I karkin' love you, you moof milker. Please... call it off with her. I'll... I'll change, I'll never bring this up, I'll help you with your arm... I'll do whatever you want..."

With shock in his eyes, he watched her turn around, the anger suppressed for now, and replaced with even greater sadness. She was pleading for him to not end things, to give up on his relationship with Miri. But he couldn't — he loved her too much, and it likely showed in his eyes. Tears formed in his eyes now as well, and he finally got up to his feet, his own hands shaking and his heart beating faster than it had ever before.

<You don't have to change, Ara.."> he said, his telepathic voice strained because of how difficult it was to speak, <You're amazing as you are, I mean it...">

"Don't do this to me."

He walked closer and tried to take her hands so she couldn't make them bleed anymore, <I still care about you. You're my best friend. But I love her, and I can't change the way I feel.> He gave her hands a gentle squeeze, hoping things could be alright between them, but he very much feared he was about to lose someone he cared about completely.

<I'm so sorry.>

 

[Ara Sheridan]

Ara froze in place as he stood up and slowly approached her. He took hold of her hands as she shuddered at the sensation, the care in his voice, the kind words, and the gentle squeeze to try and calm her down. But the actions were little more than a hook to rip open the wounds he created.

A volley of bolts, tearing through her when he got her to lower her shields, one after the other until there was nothing left. Her first real friend, her first crush, her first love, betrayed her without a second thought. Her eyes were glued to the ground as the tears rolled down her cheeks and stained her shirt.

"Get out." She muttered with a cold voice. When she looked up again, her hardened gaze bore right through him as she pulled her shaking hands from his. "Get out!" She barked, pointing to the door. "And I don't ever want to see your spineless mug again on my planet! On my home!" She continued before she turned away, yanking open her closet in some attempt to hide from him and the pain behind the door.

But something caught her eye as she listened to him leave. A story popped into her head, a story her mother told her about a similar situation like this. It was supposed to be a lesson on keeping one's loved ones close, making things right rather than destroy those bridges. As she stared at it, though, that story formed an entirely different idea in her warped mind.

She rushed to the door and hesitated as she watched him. "Kyell!" She called after him, hoping to get his attention. But if he turned, Ara's hand would emerge from behind her to reveal her old A-180 pistol. With the pull of a trigger, she sent a volley of stun bolts towards him at very close range. Weak enough to not knock him out, but strong enough to stiffen him up and leave him in pain for the next day or two at least.

Only when the semi-loaded power cell ran dry, did she lower the gun and give him one last look before she retreated into her room...

Kyell Laysel

 

[Kyell Laysel]

Location: Kashyyyk Temple
Tag: Ara Sheridan

"Get out."

<Ara...> He frowned not just at the words, but at how cold they felt. She withdrew her hands and after yelling at him to get out again, he swallowed hard and took several steps back towards the door. Kyell had hoped they could be friends but she never wanted to see him again, and it made him feel like a complete ass. <I'm so sorry...> He repeated but as she began to dig through her closet, he began to feel it was best he left quickly.

Turning around, Kyell departed with his head hung low, and even greater pain in his heart.

But only moments after he left, he heard her voice again behind him - was she reconsidering? He turned around, hopeful that she at least wanted to say something. All he got was the barrel of a pistol being aimed at him, and his senses weren't sharp enough to tell him that it was a non-lethal setting she was using.

Expecting the worst, he closed his eyes and stiffened, only to feel the shock of a round hitting him. He recoiled back from the pain, but it wasn't even enough to stun him. More and more hit his body though, forcing him to quickly turn around and run. Now he truly understood he had lost his friend.