Private Bolt and Burden

[Sibylla Abrantes]

Cassian Abrantes ​

Sibylla's chest tightened with every revelation from Cassian, the edges of guilt and fear biting at her, threatening to pull her under. Rage at the thought of Thessaly. Horror that someone had nearly stolen her brother from her. The shame of knowing she had been elsewhere, blind to it. It all pressed hard on her shoulders, one after another.

Yet she forced herself to focus on the gravity of the matter. She was strong. She could handle this. Whatever Cassian told her, she would bear it. What he needed was someone at his side, someone who could think, process, weigh options, and be an asset so he wouldn't feel alone in this.

But Shiraya, what if others were already plotting to strike at him again?

Sibylla drew a breath, then reached to cover the hand he set on her shoulder, her own fingers curling firmly over his. She gave it a squeeze, her hazel eyes locking onto the green of his with quiet resolve.

"I know," she said softly. "I know why you're telling me this. And I'm grateful you did. I want the truth. I can bear it. What I cannot bear is being shut out of it."

Her jaw firmed, the flicker of storm in her gaze settling into one of determination.

"Thank you, Cassian, for trusting me with this."

She nodded once, then again, each movement firmer than the last as her resolve settled into place.

"But you cannot do this alone. You need more resources, more eyes. Let me leverage my position, or even Aurelian's if it comes to that. If Thessaly is at the root of this, then we need to dig it out before it festers."

Sibylla's shoulders set as she gave another exhale, but her tone carried one of purpose now.

"You're right. We will piece this apart, thread by thread. And whoever thought they could take you from me will learn just how wrong they were."

 

[Cassian Abrantes]

Sibylla Abrantes
​

"You should be the one to tell Aurelian, The King and the Voice are the two pillars that are to keep Naboo safe and whole, there shouldn't be any secrets between you two...." Cassian spoke with a small smile, as if he was coming to the realization that their bond, maybe just maybe needed to be stronger than the one she held with her brother. If it was necessary, for Naboo and for them all. Cassian lingered a moment longer, the edges of his composure softening as he looked at her. The evening light caught in her hair, in the storm and steadiness both alive in her hazel eyes, and for the first time since that night on Kadaara he let the thought slip free, the one that had haunted him since the surf closed over his boots and the dagger flared in his grip.

"I wasn't certain I'd ever see you again," he admitted, voice low, roughened by the weight of truth. "When the blades came out of the darkness, there was a moment, a breath, where I thought-" He looked down, unsure of what to say, or how to say it. Until finally the words found him again. "That my last sight of Naboo would be moonlight on the waves. And that I'd leave you with nothing but questions you'd never have answered."

He reached out then, not with the firmness of command but with the quiet urgency of a brother stripped bare, his hand resting briefly over hers where it still pressed against the table. His fingers curled, steady, grounding. "So when I tell you I'm grateful you're at my side, Sibylla, know that it's more than anything. The reason I can stand before you now instead of being carried to you in silence. I will never take that for granted again. Not your counsel, not your presence, not the bond that's kept me whole more times than I can count."

Cassian drew in a slow breath, letting it out like a soldier who'd been holding the line too long. His voice softened, almost fragile in its honesty and he stood up and walked to the edge of the range, he crossed his arms taking a deep breath.

"Sister, may I ask a personal question?"

 

[Sibylla Abrantes]

Cassian Abrantes ​

Sibylla drew a long breath, the weight of his words pressing hard against her chest. She had almost lost him. Rivalries between Houses were nothing new, sometimes ending in blood, but this was not some distant feud. This had been her brother.

His confession cut deeper still. That he had believed his last sight of Naboo would be moonlight on the waves, that she would be left with nothing but grief. Guilt clawed at her, knowing she had been elsewhere, lost in her own turmoil, while he fought for his life.

"Cassian," she said quietly. "I'm here. For anything, for whatever you need. I don't want you to have to go through such a wretched thing again. I won't allow it." As if by mere determination, Sibylla could protect him. A rather childish perspective, but Sibylla meant it.

She tried to push it back. Wallowing would not help him. He was still here. Still breathing. What mattered now was what came next.

"What am I able to relay to Aurelian then? About the attack... about Father's task? Tell me more, Cassian. I would rather use every avenue I have to help you than sit helpless, not knowing what I might do."

It was as much a plea as a request, her hand still beneath his, her fingers tightening faintly over his in answer to his grip.

"And yes. Of course, you can ask. Anything," she replied, but even then, she couldn't help but wonder just what personal question he wanted to ask.

 

[Cassian Abrantes]

Sibylla Abrantes ​

Cassian’s grip tightened faintly when hers did, the pressure saying what his words could not, that her vow to stand beside him reached deeper than she realized. He drew in a slow breath, shoulders straightening, but his eyes softened as he looked at her.

“You’re already doing more than you think,” he said quietly. “But yes, whatever is necessary to tell Aurelian, tell him..”

“As for Father’s task, things are different now. He is King, I would not have you lie just to cover for me or Father-” He placed a hand on her shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze. “Father will understand that, I will inform him about this decision, I will work relentlessly until I get to the bottom of all this. As soon as I get something new to report I will bring it before you and Aurelian immediately, you have my word.”

"And yes. Of course, you can ask. Anything,"

Cassian let the silence stretch for a few moments after his last words, but his gaze softened, his thumb brushing lightly against the back of her hand before he drew back. He crossed his arms as he studied her carefully, the way her shoulders bore more weight than anyone else could see, the way her eyes held storms even when her voice was steady.

“You know..” he said quietly, almost offhand, though the weight behind it was anything but, “The walls in this estate aren’t as thick as you like to think.” His lips tugged faintly, a ghost of a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ve heard the sounds from your piano. As if you mean to strike the grief right out of the keys. There was a time, I overheard you, more than I wanted. and I couldn't do anything to help you."

He shook his head slowly, his voice turning rougher, gentler. “It makes my heart hurt, Sibylla. Because I know where that music comes from. And I know it has something to do with Lysander.”

His green eyes held hers, steady, though he raised a hand slightly as if to halt if she had any immediate protest. “You don’t have to tell me. Not unless you choose to. I won’t press you. But I need you to hear me when I say this: you don’t deserve to be chained to pain he left behind. To dwell on the memory of someone who did not, deserve the fullness of your heart.”

Cassian leaned in just enough that his words landed like a promise, not a lecture. “I only want to see you smile again, as you used to. Unburdened, unmeasured. That is worth more to me than any victory in field, more than my duty, more than my honor. You’ve carried too much already, Sibylla. Don’t let him take more.”

His hand hovered briefly, almost reaching to tuck a stray lock of hair from her face, but he stopped short, letting the gesture fade. Instead, he let the warmth of his voice carry the rest. “You are my sister. My anchor. My dearest friend. And there is no one, no Lysander, no Veruna, no shade of the past, that will ever change that." He took a deep breath and showed her a strong and warm smile, he chuckled lightly leaning his forehead against hers just briefly.

"No more despair..."

 

[Sibylla Abrantes]

Cassian Abrantes ​

At first, Sibylla was grateful that Cassian gave her leave to confide and seek Aurelian's counsel for whatever would be needed to keep Cassian safe. Certainly their father would not be pleased, but at this point, one had to agree that they needed assistance in whatever way they could.

However, Sibylla certainly hadn't expected what came next. And while her heart had tried to brace for it, it failed under the heavy, loving scruity of a brother who simply wanted to see his sister smile again.

So the more Cassian spoke, the harder it became to keep her composure. Heat stung behind her eyes, tears blurring her vision as her thoughts scattered. Lysander's absence, the confusion with Aurelian, the campaign, the crown, her own doubts and longings, all of it collided with duty, responsibility, and the crushing expectations of family, House, Naboo, and the Republic.

She remembered that one evening at the pianoforte, playing until her fingers went white and her arms throbbed with the pulse in her veins. How she had sobbed as she poured every failing, every hope, every longing and heartbreak into the keys, the music echoing out across the mountains and waterfalls of Dee'ja Peak.

Her lips wobbled as she tried to press them together, but her chin trembled, and her red rimmed eyes betrayed her as fat silver tears carved rivulets down her cheeks.

You do not deserve to be chained to pain he left behind. I only want to see you smile again. Unburdened. Unmeasured. You've carried enough, Sibylla. Don't let him take more.

Cassian's words, his pleas, melted together until she could not bear them any longer. She threw herself into his arms, limbs winding around his ribs as she buried her face against his chest. She breathed in leather, powder, musk, everything that was Cassian. She held on to his steadiness, his protectiveness, his love.

And she wept.

Because he wasn't wrong. Her philosopher warrior of a brother, who could read her like a book and pluck the exact chord that would slip past that composure she used like armor. The one who could always hold a mirror to her face and remind her of truths, even if the lesson had to be learned more than once.

She wanted to smile. She wanted things to go back to how they were. But they couldn't, not truly, perhaps not ever. Balancing the past with the path forward was a skill Sibylla had yet to master. Yet in this moment, the lesson wasn't about forgetting the past, or the memory, or even Lysander himself.

It was about knowing it was okay to try.

That it was okay to try and smile again.

 

[Cassian Abrantes]

Sibylla Abrantes
​

Cassian's arms closed around her without hesitation, as natural as breath. He held her tightly, one hand braced between her shoulder blades, the other cupping the back of her head as though he could shield her from every shadow with nothing more than his embrace. He didn't shush her, didn't tell her to stop. He let her weep, let her empty out the storm she had tried so long to hide behind marble composure.

His chin rested lightly atop her hair, and when he finally spoke, his voice was low and steady, a cadence more like a vow than comfort. "You don't have to carry it alone, not ever."

For a long moment he said nothing more, simply holding her as the tears came. His heart clenched at each sob, but he bore it with the patience of a man who had spent his life enduring for others.

When the worst of it began to ease, when her breathing shifted from broken gasps to something steadier, he leaned back just enough to look down at her. His thumb brushed gently at the dampness beneath her eye, his green gaze unwavering, fierce in its tenderness.

"You'll smile again," Cassian said firmly, the soldier's certainty fused with the brother's love. "It may take time, it may feel impossible some days, but you will. And when you do, it won't be because anyone told you to forget, or to bury the past. It will be because you chose to. Because you remembered you're more than pain, more than duty, more than the ghosts who tried to break you."

 

[Sibylla Abrantes]

Cassian Abrantes ​

When Cassian's arms finally loosened and the silence settled around them, Sibylla let her gaze drift past his shoulder to the peaks and waterfalls beyond. The world looked the same as it always had, yet something in her felt changed, as if his words had left a small flame burning in the cold places of her heart.

She knew the weight would never vanish. She would never forget Lysander, never stop caring, never stop wondering about what might have been. But perhaps remembering did not mean she had to stay bound to sorrow. Perhaps she could carry both grief and hope, and let the music of her piano one day speak of something brighter.

Her hand lingered in her brother's, and for the first time that day, she smiled. It was a silly, wobbly thing, but a genuine smile nonetheless.

One step at a time, she told herself. One day, one note, one smile.

For the first time in a long while, she believed it might be possible.

~ Fin ~​