Private Balance of the Blade

[Valery Noble]

Location: Qi-Ko
Appearance: Link
Tag: Tiland Kortun

Her life was changing again.

Ever since she made the decision to step down as a Jedi Shadow and focus on being a visible leader for the NJO, she has been challenged by the ever-changing flow of the war with the Maw, or even by those who need her help within the Jedi. To balance leadership with training Padawans, helping other students, and raising a family was intense, and with the most recent decision made by the Council, she felt an even greater weight resting on her shoulders.

Her time to spearhead the Jedi into the liberation campaign was coming up, and with powerful emotions running high in the Alliance, she knew that she needed to be centered before the next great battles occurred, so she could help prevent others from losing their way. For this reason, she had decided to take a small meditative journey away from the business of the core, and to a planet, she had read much about. Very few people lived on Qi-ko, but within its hidden villages, she knew she could meditate to reflect on what has happened and focus on what was waiting for her in the future.

After a long journey there, Valery arrived with just the essentials — her lightsaber carried on her belt, food supplies in a backpack she had thrown over her shoulder, and some basic survival tools in case she ended up stranded in nature somewhere. But soon enough, she found one of the villages and sat down on a flat rock somewhere in the center, where she could rest and meditate. She could feel life all around her, perhaps even sentient life, but she wasn't so worried that her senses focused on them the way they usually would.

Out here, she was at peace, and while open to meeting with others who traveled here, she wouldn't mind spending some time alone either. But whatever would happen during this trip, she was determined to keep herself centered.

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Valery Noble

Tiland paused at the dojo's entrance, wiping his face with a cloth as the sound of the training katas behind him faded. There was a newcomer to the monastery, a guest, perhaps. He suspected not a new student, as she seemed older and to have a more confident bearing than most of the potential students who he either found or who found themselves on Qi-Ko.

Most of them, at least. The Force was infinite, and its multitudes encompassed many colors to borrow the perspective of the Aang-Tii. He pulled his outer robes from a hook by the door and wrapped them around his training tunic and trousers.

Tying his hair back in a bun, he moved out into the center of the monastery courtyard, where the low stone table hosted the guest.

"Greetings, traveler, I am Tiland Kortun," he spoke warmly, with a bow and a smile. "Welcome to the monastery of Qi-Lan. Can I offer you some tea or some food?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Location: Qi-Ko
Appearance: Link
Tag: Tiland Kortun

"Greetings, traveler, I am Tiland Kortun,"

The voice drew Valery out of her meditation and had her fiery eyes shift to the man who greeted her. At a first glance, he already seemed kind-hearted in nature, and what she felt through the Force only confirmed that. The gesture that followed would be met with a warm smile, and slowly she got off the rock and bowed respectfully in return.

"I'm Valery Noble, a Jedi Master - thank you for the warm welcome," she said after rising from the bow, "I'll never say no to some tea and conversation and-" she paused as she felt her stomach grumble. It had been a long trip and living on rations was never something she was fond of.

"Food would be greatly appreciated if it's not too much to ask for," she said with a more sheepish smile. "This monastery, it's quite remarkable. It has been a long time since I've felt so much... peace," Valery continued while she'd join the man to wherever he'd guide her.

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Valery Noble

"Very nice to meet, Valery. Welcome to our home. Please, make yourself comfortable. I will get some tea and breakfast in preparation." He headed into one of the smaller buildings that leaned against the central dojo, returning shortly with his familiar satchel of herbs, a small burner, and a collection of food materials.

"We have nothing particularly fancy here for food," Tiland explained, "Trade is very rare here, since we are predominantly ascetics out here, so we rely on local foodstuffs."

At her words, he gave a faint smile. "Qi-Ko is something special, the original Qi-Kans were remarkable at how they cultivated this world's presence in the Force. We've only begun to scratch the surface of what they accomplished."

After a pause, he sorted out the herbs in his satchel, selecting a few base tea-leaves to be joined with the others. "Is there something you've come to seek?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Location: Qi-Ko
Appearance: Link
Tag: Tiland Kortun

While Tiland moved into the small building to retrieve what he needed to prepare tea and breakfast, Valery looked around, closed her eyes, and just drew in a deep breath of fresh air. It was so different from how it felt on planets in the core and even some planets with richer nature away from it.

"I'm sure it's much better than these highly processed food ration bars, thank you," Valery said with a very appreciative smile. She had been used to living off of what she could find in jungles or forests, so almost anything tasted just fine to her. "If there's anything I can give to contribute to those living here, please do let me know."

She didn't want to just take.

"Only scratched the surface...?" she seemed genuinely surprised, "It's amazing what you have accomplished here, and I can only imagine what it will be like in the future," she chuckled and watched him prepare the tea with a smile, but one that grew a little grimmer when he asked his question.

"There is," she admitted, "Recently, I accepted a new role within my order, and it's quite a responsibility. I may have to live with the fact that I will not find peace easily myself in life, and that my only comfort is knowing the work I do will change the lives of others for the better."

She paused a moment, "But in my research, a quote stuck out to me."

if you sharpen a sword all the time, even when it's not dull, by the time you need it there's no metal left. It will break.​

After reciting the quote from the ancient texts about her role, she looked at the tea, "I've felt that I've been working too hard to sharpen myself, and I know I will break if I continue like this. So I came here to keep that from happening. I just... I'm not quite sure how yet."

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Valery Noble

Tiland raised his eyebrow slightly and smiled. "No, we live self-sufficiently here, for the most part. We appreciate your kindness and generous intent, however."

He paused to grind some tea leaves and berries to mix in the porridge. "Accomplished?" He glanced around and swung his arm in a wide circle, indicating the monastery around them. "We built nothing here. This was all here thousands of years ago, still standing, and there was a sensation of... invitation, I think, when we first discovered them. We stand on the shoulders of giants, I think."

As she spoke, he nodded attentively, moving his attention between her words and the sweet-smelling porridge and the warming kettle of water. "Ah..." Tiland said, at last, sorting through dried herbs that he lay on the table. "So in a way, you seek wisdom and balance, yes? Is that a reasonable conclusion?"

His fingers hovered over one of the small packets of herbs before selecting another. He bruised it gently before depositing it into a pestle mixed with several other herbs. At the last comment, he lowered the implement thoughtfully.

"Is a sword all that you are, though? That quote has merit and some wisdom, but it has a grave flaw- swords exist for one purpose and one purpose only. While its metaphor is useful and poignant, might it not also limit our visions of ourselves?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Location: Qi-Ko
Appearance: Link
Tag: Tiland Kortun

Valery offered Tiland a smile in return — those who were here clearly lived a very modest and humble life, and as a Jedi, it was something she could appreciate. When you spent as much time in the core as she did, it was easy to lose track of the fact that more peaceful lives existed, but this was certainly a welcomed change to remind her of that.

After she spoke, and he asked her about balance, Valery nodded, "That's right, I seek balance." It was something all Jedi should look for in their lives, but the question he followed up with about her being a sword captured exactly why she was struggling with it, despite being one of the more experienced Jedi in her order.

"I'm not just a sword, no," Valery replied while she nodded in agreement with his statements, "To most Jedi, I might be, as my role has always been to protect and stop those who threaten peace. But I'm also a Master to several Padawans, a guide in their life that goes far beyond just being a teacher," she continued while her eyes shifted between Tiland and the tea he was preparing.

"I'm also a mother to a daughter of three, who relies on me as well, but in a very different way Jedi do." She paused a moment and took a few breaths of fresh air. "It has always been hard to balance these parts of my life, and I'm trying to make sure I don't lose my way now that the demand on being a sword has increased."

"I need the balance to be right."

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Valery Noble

Tiland paused, considering the texture of the tea leaves, and then finished crushing them into the hot water. The aromatic steam wafted into the air and he closed his eyes, before speaking.

"Green tea leaves, mint, and ginseng with a hint of lavender," he explained, before setting out two mugs of tea, although it was not quite ready yet. It would have to steep for several few moments, but the berry porridge was finished, so he set out two bowls before leaning back in his seat, eyes half-closed, considering.

"Numerous demands on your time and focus... large-scale responsibilities," Tiland paused for a moment and then opened his eyes again. "You say you need your balance to be right?"

That was always the crux of the problem, wasn't it? Was there ever such a thing? It was one of the great challenges of sentient life.

"What would the right balance look like?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Location: Qi-Ko
Appearance: Link
Tag: Tiland Kortun

Drawing in a deep breath, Valery's body seemed to visibly relax as the aroma of the tea was beginning to spread. It wasn't quite ready yet, but somehow its warmth was already affecting her positively. "It smells wonderful, and the berry porridge looks great," she said before she gently leaned forward and slid the bowl closer to herself, so she could eat some. It had been a long journey to get here, so she was quite hungry.

Her eyes then shifted back to Tiland as he thought about her words, and the question that followed got her to think in return. A Jedi's path was all about finding and creating balance, but what did it truly mean on an individual level?

"I've noticed that I'm more restless and easily agitated and I fear that my patience will slip if I'm not careful. Balance to me would be handling my responsibilities while I can remain true to who I really am."

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Valery Noble

"Thank you," Tiland replied with a smile. "I'm glad you like it." He hadn't eaten solid food like that in a very long time. As she continued, he leaned back on his seat, listening, head tilted to one side.

It was an interesting question, and the philosophical implications of the question were quite extensive, but that was likely not what she was looking for, although they were applicable.

Was the self, as a concept, static? Or was it dynamic? He remained ambivalent on the question. Both were possible, and he was neither the philosopher nor the scientist capable of making that distinction.

"There are several ways to approach this. One would be practical- through self-management techniques and other productivity methods. Another would be to focus on which of these responsibilities are most important. What do you think would be of most use?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Location: Qi-Ko
Appearance: Link
Tag: Tiland Kortun

With the bowl of food between her two hands, Valery thought about the question but seemed to have an answer ready rather quickly, and looked up at him, "Self-management techniques mostly. I don't feel I struggle to be productive, but I need to pace myself properly. Meditation, these types of trips... maybe even vacation at times. I might need more of it, or learn to make it more effective so I can keep myself centered" She let out a soft sigh and ran a hand up through her long hair.

"But I can't determine what is more important to focus on. My work at the front, my Padawans... my daughter - they are all so very important."

She looked at Tiland and forced a gentle smile, "Sometimes I feel the solution is so very simple but so difficult at the same time."

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Valery Noble

"Hmm," Tiland said, sipping his tea before tilting his head to listen thoughtfully. "So perhaps the management techniques is not the question you are seeking."

He tapped his finger on the edge of the low table. "Self-management techniques are easily learned anywhere. I would hardly consider any of us here to be particularly noteworthy enough to trek out here." He gave a lopsided smile.

"If the priority is the great question- then we can use a reverse visualization exercise to solve. It will be uncomfortable, though. Are you up for that?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Location: Qi-Ko
Appearance: Link
Tag: Tiland Kortun

Leaning forward, Valery reached for her cup of tea and held it in between her palms for a moment, just to enjoy the warmth it gave her. But while she listened, she slowly lifted it up to her lips for a careful sip, "You're probably right," she said with a soft smile of her own. As easy as it was to just go through basic self-management exercises, they likely wouldn't solve much for her.

She was already familiar with many of such techniques.

"I'm not sure if I can set a singular thing as a priority between all of those options, but I'm willing to explore it more. I'm up for the exercise, even if it's uncomfortable."

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Valery Noble

"Very good, very good," Tiland agreed, setting down the cup of tea and sifting through his satchel of herbs before laying a small cluster of leaves on the table before crushing them with his knuckles.

A heady, crisp scent rose into the air. "This helps relax the mind. We can use these in conjunction with the Force to sink into our minds, passing through the barriers we erect against ourselves."

He paused for a moment, considering carefully, lowering his voice. "Clear your mind and sink into the Force and picture the possibilities of the futures that may lay before you."

His voice softened, and he relaxed his words, letting the Force emanate from him. "Picture one of your priorities- any you choose. Let the first one that comes to your mind take the center stage. Let the possibilities spin out, and picture the worst-case scenario. What might it look like? What would you feel? How might you respond?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Location: Qi-Ko
Appearance: Link
Tag: Tiland Kortun

After taking another sip from her tea, Valery set the cup down and watched Tiland place more herbs on the table between them. They were crushed under his knuckles and a calming scent spread through the entire room. With her eyes closed, Valery drew in a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders, allowing it to help her focus.

She then did as he asked, and went through her routine of mental techniques to clear her mind, and connect with the Force on a much deeper level than one normally would. The future ahead of her expanded like a family tree into countless possibilities, but it was his next set of instructions that allowed her to narrow it down.

Picture one of your priorities- any you choose.​

The image of her daughter Vera's face flashed into her mind instantly, her strange but beautiful eyes connecting with her mother's. It made her relax even more, and a smile touched the corners of her lips. But then Tiland requested something that changed all of that abruptly - her body tensed and she swallowed hard but still listened.

Let the possibilities spin out, and picture the worst-case scenario.​

The image of her daughter faded, and now she saw a figure in dark robes, holding a crimson blade as he stood over the body of her little girl. It sparked a sudden surge in the Force from her as if the thought alone ignited the fire deep within her heart, and in her eyes. The image shifted, and now she watched herself, blade drawn and with intense flames all around her, moving in to destroy the figure who had harmed her daughter.

"My daughter killed..." she said, her voice strained, "I feel so much sadness, anger, it's too much," she clenched her jaw and drew in a sharp but shaky breath. "I'm not just bringing the killer to justice... I destroyed him." Then the image changed again, and she saw the face of Kahlil Noble , her husband, in a very similar state of intense emotions. But still, his presence in the Force was calming, their dyad like an anchor keeping her from falling.

"But my husband keeps me from losing myself, as he always does when I need it most." She let out a soft sigh and opened her eyes for a moment. They were still filled with pain from what she saw, but she was keeping herself calm. "I've always been good at controlling myself, and even though I accepted attachments as they give me strength and hope, I knew they could also be the one thing bringing me down. I don't think I could live without them."

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Valery Noble

"Good," Tiland said softly, listening, head tilted. "But go deeper. The loss of a child is often a parent's great initial fear. But is it necessarily the worst fear that could happen, hmm?"

There was a gentleness to his voice, and a sadness. "What if it was your child who killed your husband?" His memory went back years, decades, centuries, to his own family, and the body of his father, neck broken beside a staircase not tall enough to break the neck of an Anzati, let alone one strong in the Force and the martial arts.

No, it was murder. That, he was certain, and he was just as certain it had been his uncle who had done it. Families were of great value. They mattered. But the ways of the Force and family did not go well together. The Skywalkers. The Palpatines. The Kenobis. The Carnifexes. Strength, they gave, yes, but that could come at a cost.

 

[Valery Noble]

Location: Qi-Ko
Appearance: Link
Tag: Tiland Kortun

"What if it was your child who killed your husband?"​

There was a noticeable shift of discomfort in the way Valery sat, and the Force likely betrayed the emotions she felt deep within as well. The thought of anything breaking apart her family was difficult for her to process, but for her daughter to be the cause was extreme even within that line of thinking. In the eyes of a mother, a child was always innocent, an angel who could do no harm and cause no trouble.

Thinking about that changing in the future was met with a long, painful silence.

"Nothing could ever hurt me more," Valery admitted after a moment. "I... don't believe I would be able to be the one to confront her either. If I did, it might be the one thing that could push me over the edge." Valery recalled her studies of Jaina Solo, a former Sword of the Jedi who confronted her fallen twin brother because Luke Skywalker believed he'd fall confronting the man who killed his wife. She felt similarly about this. "The one thing that would disrupt my inner balance."

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Valery Noble

Tiland didn't speak, just nodded slowly, listening as she worked through it. "I would be more worried if you thought it would not shake you. Our perceived invulnerability is one of the greatest weapons the Dark Side can use against the Jedi. As soon as we believe course;ves infallible..." He shrugged. "Both personal complacency and pride can slip in without ever knowing."

He paused with a deep breath, remembering the blood on his hands that taught him that lesson. "Go further, consider how much worse the situation could be, yes?"