Ashes To Ashes

[Connor Harrison]

Former Imperial Reprogramming Institute
Duro, Duro System​

Joon’s small craft stuck out in the hazy orange glow of dusk. Small, black and sharp. The cockpit canopy was open, and it rested before the ruins of an old Imperial Research facility. Boulders were strewn about the surrounding area, small craters, some charcoaled ground and snapped tree trunks.

Flag poles, the ones that had not buckled, flew Republic flags, albeit tatty and dishevelled. It was a sign of that battle that had taken everything from her, but now all that remained were memories of Factions buried in the debris and dirt they had created for themselves.

Word of the rising Imperial Remnant filled Joon with pride, and it was hearing this that she decided to leave Duro for the final time, and say goodbye to her only home. To say goodbye to the fallen family she had grown with, and the naïve young clone born here. JN-4. The Force Warrior.

Kneeling before the destroyed facility, Joon bowed her head. He hair was pulled back tight, wisps of white streaked the black from Dark Side corruption, as it had bled into her amber eyes. She wore dark layers; fabric wrapped around her arms and legs, her torso covered with a soft layer of Armourweave and a fur-lined robe on her back, given to her by Darth Ayra.

She was absorbing all she could from the facility, saying goodbye to it and being thankful for it, but promising those who had died that the glory of the Empire would come again, and she would be the one to carry on the JN legacy and see that their enemies would fall to her blade.

The Dark Side was wonderful, and it consumed her. With that and her Imperial training, Joon knew she would be unstoppable.

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]

 

[Asemir]

A year.

It had been nearly a year since he had last seen her, last been on this planet. Their last meeting had been a mix of joy and sadness, the kind of relief giving way to sorrow when one finally meets a long lost friend only to discover that the friend's life had taken a turn for the worse. Joon had told him about all of her travels and adventures and learning and successes and failures. It had been great to see the woman, but to learn that her journey ended at the feet of a Sith master? It was a revelation that was saddening, and when Asemir was honest with himself, not unexpected.

Sometimes, especially during nights when he wasn't actively hunting a bounty or stalking some criminal, he wished he could go back to that first mission to Duros. Perhaps if he had been more convincing or more assertive, he could have convinced Joon to leave that rock and take a journey away from her dark destiny. Maybe he could have trained her. He could have taught her the good of the galaxy, to steer her in a positive direction.

It never took more than a few seconds for Asemir to recognize his ruminations for what they were. Wish fulfillment. Regret. Nothing more than idle musings born from a long life filled with questionable actions and deeds. They were all hypotheticals. What-ifs. And Asemir had long learned to smother those thoughts, lest he be buried under their weight.

The old research facility had seen better days, an understatement given that the Imperial outpost had been the subject of a harsh battle that left it a pile of rubble and craters. A year had given the wilderness plenty of time to recapture the ruins, but Mother Nature had apparently decided to forgo the effort. Tattered flags still hung from posts, fallen masonry had not been consumed by vegetation, and impact craters still carried dark carbon scoring as if the bombs had detonated only moments before.

Having left his own shuttle next to another small craft, Asemir threaded his way through the rubble and towards a figure that was at once familiar yet alien. She had the same stance, her life aura pulsed with the same rhythm as the Imperial clone, yet there were differences about her. Like the last time they had met, her Force signature had grown in strength. Her hair was no longer the solid black that he remembered, but instead was shot through with streaks of white. A cloak of fur now garbed her shoulders.

Even so, despite the differences, he recognized her as Joon.

"You know, Joon, I'd have thought the wilderness would have taken back the ruins by now ," Asemir said as he approached her. He intentionally crunched his way through the gravel, so as not to startle her. "Like I said the last time we met, you've changed. Again. What's happened in the last year?"

[member="Joon"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Joon looked sideways at the sound of gravel crunching, knowing he was there. It felt good to feel the presence of another without being scared for once. As if she was having the upper-hand. Asemir. She smiled gently.

”The Imperial war-machine will never be swallowed up by nature. Even in ruins, it will thrive. I will see to it,” she said slowly.

Taking a few more moments, her amber eyes closed in silent prayer to her fallen sisters. Kneading the stones under her fists, she stood up and nodded, turning to face the warrior. He hadn't changed; still that armed, imposing fighter who she once admired.

”I have become Joon again. No more lies, no more people using me. I have spent my last year here, training myself and studying and meditating on everything those traitors told me about. The Dark Side, the Light. Jedi and Sith.”

She walked slowly towards him, an air of confidence to her strides - far from the young clone who was hiding behind a boulder.

”Why are you back here, Asemir Lor'kora? Can't stay away from me, can you.”

She was enjoying this already.

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]

 

[Asemir]

"You're right. I really can't stay away." Asemir gave her a grin, but after a moment, glanced down. "Really though, I'm back to try to make amends. When you've lived as long as I have and done what I've done, you start to build a pool of things you wish you hadn't done or had done differently. The last few months have simply added to that."

A pause. "You start thinking about a lot of things when you're bleeding out."

Shaking his head at the memory, he continued. "I'm back because I wish when we had first met, I'd done more to help you, or done something so that you didn't have to go through the trauma of learning the Dark Side from a Sith."

Giving her a careful look, Asemir saw the greatest change. She was now more mature, but not in any clear, tangible way. Just the way she carried herself, the subtle hint of a smile, the confidence. Even the gleam in her eyes. She was certainly not the naive clone he had met years ago.

"The past is the past. Like I said, I am here now, to make amends. I once offered to be your friend, so I'd like to make that offer again, but this time I'll make that friendship more intentional. Act as a friend would. Offer counsel and support when needed. Things like that."

A slight smile returned, but this one was tinged with a hint of uncertainty. "If that friendship is something you are still interested in, of course," Asemir added with a trace of nervousness.

[member=Joon]

OOC:
I'm trying out the whole add-color-to-your-dialog thing. I'm not sure if I like this just yet. Surprisingly, color makes traditional dialog formatting seem odd.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Joon stood still as he made his speech, and he was very open in his emotion, both mentally and physically. A few words caught her attention, however, which made him seem weaker than she thought.

”I’m glad you didn’t help me back then, because if you did I would have known nothing about what I do now. I’ve learnt a great deal since we last met, about the Empire and the Sith, and about myself.”

She stayed still.

”I don’t have friends and I never will. They all have their own motivations and they either betray you or leave you behind.” She wasn’t angry at them now; she had survived, so she was better. ”But you are here, again, so I will listen to you and grant you that at least.”

Now, as if she were someone new, she walked over to him like a Queen addressing a subject and looked down her nose to the gun-singer. She placed her hand on his chest for a second, then his jaw, then his stomach, and then withdrew her hand again.

”Bleeding out. Were you injured? Tell me.”

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]


OOC: I can take either format – you do what you’re comfortable with! 

 

[Asemir]

Asemir mentally winced at Joon's words about friendship. They were not unexpected, but he had hoped that she would not have followed the vast majority of Dark Siders who seemed to be paranoid about any and all relationships. Of the hundreds of Dark Siders he had met, only a few who valued companionship, so perhaps it had not been realistic for him to expect that Joon would be different.

Hope is the first step towards disappointment, a teacher had once said, and how true his teacher had been.

As Joon placed her hand on his chest and face, Asemir's eyes narrowed and his mind reflexively threw up mental guards. Her behavior was completely at odds with that of an aloof Sith, and had ripped open memories long buried, memories of a woman he had grown up with and fought beside, and loved dearly. Memories of Nycha Sia'tet: compassionate, loving, remorseless, blood thirsty.

He reinforced his smile as he considered his response, curious about her sudden tenderness. "Yes. I was ambushed by four Sith assassins. They were cloaked in the shadows and caught me in a side street. The fight didn't last more than a minute or so, but one of them got lucky and skewered me in the chest with some kind of alchemical blade."

He watched her, searching for a reaction. "It's actually a bit embarrassing that they even managed to land a blow. It's not the first time I've been attacked, but it's the first time that I've been injured at all. I guess it's a good reminder to never underestimate your foe and to never overestimate yourself."

[member="Joon"]

OOC:
Maybe I'll alternate colors by word...

 

[Connor Harrison]

Joon looked over him as Asemir spoke of the attack, a little frown forming on her face as she made sense of it.

”I don’t know what I find more shocking – that Sith dared to attack you, or that you let them get that close in the first place. But, yes, your lesson is important. I can’t under-estimate anybody anymore. And I certainly don’t over-estimate myself. I am who I am, and I know my limits.”

Placing her hand on his chest again, she closed her eyes and breathed steadily.

”Zee'tah,” she whispered. ”Mora'ga. Kzah…”

She opened her eyes and shook her head.

”Are you sick? That weapon. What has it done to you Asemir?”

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]

 

[Asemir]

Asemir shrugged, and his voice was stripped of the irritation that he felt. Lying had been an early skill taught to him. "In combat, there are only two elements: skill and chance. Oftentimes, skill outweighs chance, but in some cases chance favors the enemy. It happens."

He didn't recognize the words she whispered, only knowing that they were not Basic. Perhaps some ancient Sith tongue. Joon's question, though, he considered odd. "Are you referring to the blade, the one I was stabbed with? It's done nothing to me. I retrieved it afterwards, along with their lightsabers, and it wasn't imbued with anything especially nasty. It's actually in my ship, if you'd like to see it. Besides, poisons don't affect me all that much. One of the first skills I learned as a Sith was to filter poisons out of the atmosphere. When the air is deadly, you learn that very quickly."

He tried to read her expression. "Why the interest in my wellbeing?"

OOC:
I looked up those words and see that they are "curses" in the Coynite language. Do they impart any actual effects, a la spells? Or are they simply words? Just so I can properly RP the effects, if they are indeed true Force spells.

[member="Joon"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Joon stepped back, interest crossing her face.

”Forgive me, I assumed it was laced with some poison or dangerous material that would rot your internal organs or destroy your blood-stream over time. My mistake.”

She stood tall again, head high. Defiant.

”Because you helped me once, and so I know when I can extend concern for another. Consider this concern, Asemir Lor’kora. Concern for your wellbeing. Because now I can feel your heart beating a little more. I can sense pain. To do with me.”

Now, she stepped forward, amber eyes looking up at his.

”Do you not like what I am? Do I make you feel uncomfortable?.”

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]


OOC: Haha, no, just words she's picked up and what she feels in you. Hence worrying about the knifing. She's not into spells, but I think it'd be something she'd LIKE to involve herself with.

 

[Asemir]

"It's not that," Asemir said. "It's not you personally. I've been around Sith and Dark Siders my whole life, right? I've seen that attitude, the one where you forgo friendship or companionship or relationships because of suspicion or paranoia or whatever. I've never seen any good come from it. That solitude only ever seems to do harm since it cuts off an important part of our humanity."

The Forgotten searched her eyes for some hint of the original Joon. "Like I said, it's got nothing to do with you personally. It's mostly sadness or anger that your Sith master convinced you of all that Dark Side never-trust-anyone crap. There are people who will be there for you, who won't betray you or backstab you. There are people who genuinely care for you. That's all."

He paused a moment. "Do you believe that I'm going to betray you at some point?"

[member="Joon"]

OOC:

Just wanted to check! It would be rather disappointing if Joon really was casting a spell and Asemir didn't even acknowledge it.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Joon gave Asemir a long, hard look. She narrowed her eyes to accentuate his features; all those little lines, pores in the skin, the wrinkles at the edges of his eyes, the colour of his hair, the weathering of the jaw.

”No,” she said, ”I don’t think will now. But you forgot one point in your analysis of me; I am not a human, and so cannot lose my humanity.”

With a proud smile, she pointed back to the ruins.

”Two lines of genetics grown in an artificial womb. That’s what I am. A genetically created soldier. Yes, human in look and style and biology, but I was trained and harvested with others identical to me. My sisters. They were taken from me, so part of me was taken with them. Of course I hope to experience more humane feelings in the future, but they don’t dictate how I am or how I act. It’s just something to feel.”

She turned back to Asemir.

”In what way do you love me, Asemir?”

She had heard it once before from Ayra, who said Joon was loved as many things. But Ayra had left her. It would be good to understand how others loved her.

Joon didn’t know the first thing about love at all.

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]

 

[Asemir]

Asemir wanted to, intended to, rebut Joon's assertion that the nature of her creation divorced her from the humanity provided by emotions, but her question derailed his train of thought.

"What?" It was a question out of nowhere, and it took more than a moment for Asemir to organize an answer. "I'm not sure what you mean, Joon. If you're referring to romantic love, then, honestly, there's not much there. I mean, we're still establishing the idea of friendship, right?" He meant that last sentence as a joke. Sort of.

It was a hard question to answer, Asemir realized. He'd been in love before and knew what came with that kind of relationship: sacrifice, devotion, generosity. His relationship with Joon? Certainly not that. But they weren't strangers, were probably friends, but not quite.

"Now, if by love you mean some kind of affection or connection between two people, then there's that. We're more than just acquaintances, so if you consider that kind of relationship a type of love, then I would go with that. Maybe more like the connection between squadmates, but not yet forged and tested in battle."

He regarded this woman carefully. So much of her reminded him of three other women in his past. All of them dead, probably. But the resemblances were uncanny, and it almost frightened him. Asemir didn't believe in coincidences, and in the case of two of those women, there were no coincidences. Just a series of Force-driven events.

"You've been asking me these tough questions," Asemir said. "I'll turn the question to you. How do you love me, Joon?"

[member="Joon"]

OOC:
Have you been reading Asemir's history? Why is it that Joon is acting like some of the other characters in his past? Are you doing this on purpose to unnerve me??

 

[Connor Harrison]

Joon gave little away as he spoke, but her eye narrowed a little as her head turned slightly, sizing him up and learning all the time. She stood close.

”I do not love you, Asemir.”

She didn’t even blink as she continued.

”Darth Ayra loved me as a friend, a sister, a mother and a lover. I was everything and I was told to love her back, and I did, by making sure she was everything to me. And then she left me, got killed. Left me with nothing because she had lied about love, for there was another she was training alongside me. But she didn’t tell me.”

She leaned in closer, eyes on fire.

”If you love, then you get HURT. So do not love me at all. For anything. Ever again.”

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]


OOC: Haha! I've not read your history from the day we started writing, so everything coming out is just Joon and how she's feeing and feeding from Asemir! I look forward to seeing what she does to unnerve you more now...!

 

[Asemir]

Asemir returned Joon's glare with one of his own. Then after nearly a minute of silence, he cracked a smile and took a step back. Chuckling, the Forgotten crossed his arms. "Joon, that is the understatement of the year. Of course you will be hurt if you love. That is the nature of love, of relationships. When you're in love, most days, I'd hope all of them, are filled with joy or degrees of joy. But there will be hurt. The only people who can hurt you are those who you've invested in. And that's what being in love is about. Being invested in someone else."

He let out a sigh. "Don't get me wrong, I'm sorry that you were betrayed by this Darth Arya. She hurt you badly." He clenched his hands, once. "Truth be told, I'd have preferred to have killed her on day one than to have let her drag you through all that pain. But the past is the past, and you can't change it. You can't let one horrible situation color your entire life.

"Believe it or not, but I was in love once. She was a wonderful woman, and she was everything to me. Nycha didn't betray me. But she died, perhaps not by my hands but certainly because of me." He stopped, remembering that fateful event on the ocean world of Farraege. "All that anger and rage and hate and grief, it was very hurtful. I hated the galaxy after that, and people died because of it. Many more would have died had I not gotten over the hurt."

Asemir took a few steps back, putting distance between them, and watched Joon warily. "I've talked too much. I get why you feel the way you do. I've been there. I'm not going to convince you to change your mind. In fact, you're probably terribly annoyed with me now and are wanting to kill me. Before you try, know that even so, I'll still be at your side, since, truthfully, I consider us friends. Only friends talk about these things."

[member="Joon"]

OOC:
Well, I went back and read some of Asemir's past RP threads, and, holy crap, my writing now is absolutely horrendous compared to six years ago. I've degraded terribly!

 

[Connor Harrison]

Joon gave him all her attention as he spoke about his heart-ache. On the talk of Darth Ayra, she smiled.

”I would have liked you to have killed her. Or let me do it. She didn’t deserve me, but without her I wouldn’t be where I am now. I’d be dead, or locked in a cell.”

She took a stride forward again, keeping those closeness there, and placed a finger on his chest.

”People died because of you because they were weak and insignificant to your grief. There is nothing wrong with that. Why did you stop your course of action? Of revenge? You could have been something even better, don’t you think? Why have morals? Nobody cared when they took your love away, did they. So why should you – and don’t pretend you have a conscious, because that’s just something bad people say to try and feel justified.”

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]


OOC: Oh please- I didn’t know you six years ago and since I have known your writing has been fab and just as good as what I’ve given you to work with…so if it IS terrible it means I’m terrible too.

 

[Asemir]

"I stopped because it didn't make sense anymore. Killing people, even if they were criminals and the like, didn't mean anything. Their deaths brought no closure, no answers. Even after I had avenged Nycha, even after I received all of the answers for why she was killed, there was nothing. Vengeance doesn't bring the dead back to life."

When she stepped in and placed a finger on his chest, Asemir didn't retreat. He tried reading her intentions, feeling for any threat or direction through her Force aura.

"I did become something greater after Nycha's death, but only after I stopped pursuing vengeance. Vengeance and anger and the self-focus consumed me. When I dropped all of that and returned to living life as a normal person, I grew stronger. I destroyed a Sith cult that threatened the galaxy. I helped save billions of people. I became a Sith Lord.

But none of that happened because I embraced the pain and locked everyone out. It only happened because I accepted the tragedy in my life and moved on, and actually connected with others. I made great friendships and allies, and that led to my greatness.

"And you're wrong when you say no one cared about my loss." He paused there, wondering if he should explain what had happened. Truth be told, he still didn't understand how it had all happened, just that it did happen. "Nycha foresaw her death and put plans into motion to mitigate the hurt it would cause me. Her sister-in-arms cared deeply as well. Together, they did everything they could to help me through my pain.

"And you're also wrong if you believe no one cares about your hurt because I'm standing right here, quite saddened that you had to go through all of that. As a friend, I care very much that you were betrayed. It's why I'm talking with you and hoping that you'll see that just because Darth Arya fethed up your life doesn't mean that everyone is as debauched as she. There is still hope, Joon. Hope and goodness within people."

OOC:

Haha, I probably exaggerated. I see a lot more polish in my past writing, or else the words flowed better. They're less disjointed, especially the dialog. Actually, in many aspects, your writing is similar to my older writing: clean, crisp, natural.

I think it has to do with inspiration. Six or eight years ago, I was far more inspired to write, probably because it was a different time in life. Asemir the character really clicked and I had great plans for him. Now, he's more of a vehicle for the act of writing, with less direction and focus.

Something like that. It could just be rose-tinted glasses.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Regardless of the humanity coming from Asemir, Joon didn’t crack. Much.

”I don’t need friendships anymore. I have…me.”

Joon didn’t know what she meant by that, and admitting she only had herself was interesting. There was nobody and had BEEN nobody for a good year or so.

She did try to smile, however. A little droop in her eyes now, a sombre tone after he spoke of his troubles. Granted, she still didn’t understand friendship with motivation, because everyone always wanted something for a price. If you were a friend, you had a motive. If you were a lover, you had motive. If you were an enemy, you had a motive.

Nothing was for free. Not even emotion.

”What was she like, this Nycha? What did you do together? How did she die?”

She quickly slapped his chest.

”And stop looking at me like that. I’m not going to take your head.”

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]

 

[Asemir]

"Hey, you can't be too careful around Dark Siders!" Asemir jested while tossing up his hands in mock surrender. He took a some steps back and found a seat on a chunk of rubble. Looking to the horizon, Asemir gathered his thoughts.

"I know it's what'd you expect me to say about someone I loved, but Nycha was a wonderful person," he said at last. "She was smart, thoughtful, caring, beautiful. She always knew what to say to make me feel loved or cared for. She could always refocus me when things got tough. She was my sounding board. We spent most of our free time, when there was any, just exploring the different towns we were posted to. That's what she liked, to see the world around us. The first time I met her father was at a local coffee shop. That was quite a memorable experience. It's not every day you meet the Emperor."

He smiled, but it was tinged with sadness.

"Nycha could also be ruthlessly efficient. Brutally so. When it called for it, she was an absolute terror to everyone. In one breath she was fun, carefree, joyful. In another, she was bloodthirsty. A killer. I guess that's what drew me to her. She was intriguing, refreshing. She was what I needed to stay alive in the Temple where we grew up."

Asemir looked back at Joon, watching her carefully to see how she was reacting, to see if he could detect emotion. "Nycha was gifted by the Force to understand any language in the galaxy. If a creature could speak it, she could understand it. And that was what ultimately led to her death. After we had spent ten years wiping out slavery and corruption within the Xedael Empire, we were posted to diplomatic stations. The world of Farrage had newly joined the Empire, and Nycha was the premiere linguist.

"Long story short, I had offered to lead the body guard unit for the ambassador, but was assured that that Marine squad could handle it. Well, they didn't. A lone insurgent broke through the perimeter and stabbed Nycha through the throat."

Asemir shrugged. "Nycha died because I did not protect her. I did not fulfill my duty. But her death set forward a whole bunch of things. I would not be here had she not died. I'd not be the person I am if she were still alive."

He stopped there, deciding that it wasn't worthwhile to try to explain about how Shyd fit into the picture. It would be confusing, and he wasn't sure if he wanted Joon to know all the details of his life.

[member=Joon]

 

[Connor Harrison]

For the first time, Joon’s eyes fell a little in sadness.

Asemir wasn’t a bad man, not all bad anyway. He was trying to serve an Empire, like hers. And because of that, a rogue had taken to murdering someone close to him. She didn’t care for the woman, but Asemir? It was a shame.

She reached up and place a hand on his face.

”I am well aware my emotional state is not the same as humans, and it never will be. But you know me, and I am sorry to hear that your friend died. You did not deserve that, but you should not give up serving because of it.”

She puffed out her chest slightly and placed the other hand on his opposite cheek.

”My Master died, and I found out she was teaching another behind my back to take her place. I was simply filling the void. Everything she did was a lie, and she didn’t care for me at all. But now she is dead, I am fulfilling my own destiny; to carry on the fight for the Empire in the name of my sisters. You should carry on the fight too, for all those who will take away lovers from good men like you. You can protect them. I can protect them. Together, we protect those who are closest to us by doing what we were made to do. Serve.”

Joon said it how it was, and while it may be wrong to many or confusing to some, somewhere in there was nothing but honesty. With a quick nod, she drew her fingers down his cheek as she moved away.

”If she was not dead, you would have never met me. But, looking at you, I see that it is not just her who is dead. You are too. Your eyes, they’re cold. Dead inside. You can’t live without her, can you. You don’t know where you belong. You have no purpose, do you, Asemir.”

[member="Asemir Lor'kora"]

 

[Asemir]

Given that she had been trained by a Darth, that she was grown to be a killer, Asemir was not expecting Joon to show so much compassion and tenderness. It had taken conscious thought to not pull back when she placed her hands on his face. He was not in the habit of having others touch him.

But the coolness of her skin, the roughness of her calloused fingers, the tenderness of the gesture, they reminded him of Nycha and Shyd. Memories of better times, when the focus wasn't on the next battle, the next mission. The memories, though, were years old. Many years old. Of a life long gone.

"You're right, in a sense," Asemir said as Joon stepped back. "I can live without her. I've learned to do so. But it really isn't the same. All through my life, even after Nycha died, I had a purpose. Whether that was to serve the Empire, serve my squad, or lead the charge against the Cult of Shadow, there was purpose. But now? I suppose there's some purpose but it isn't to fulfill some grand design. I hunt criminals, murderers, the like. I do what I can to protect those who can't protect themselves. But, ultimately, there's no destination. It's just living."

He shook his head. "It may be time that I live life more intentionally. Create a purpose for myself. That type of thing."

Asemir looked up, catching Joon's eye. "You said that you would carry on the fight for the Empire. What will you do when that fight is done? When your enemies are defeated? Will you lead the Empire? Will you continue to serve your leaders if they are corrupt?"

[member="Joon"]