A Woman's Game

[Retired]

The weeks spent in the blackness of kolto had given Seo a great deal of time to think on some things. An unfortunate series of events had lead to even getting placed in the tank. For some reason Force had seen it fit though to keep her alive and now she knew why. There was life within her again and made from a true relationship.

Because of their shared feelings, Seo felt the need to be open about her past. In her opinion they had gotten over a couple large hurdles and worked through them. This was another, but it was probably the largest.

One thing she knew about was the power of food. The act of actually preparing it, working on a project to was going to be eaten and gifted to a person she loved. She she hoped it wouldn't go unnoticed. She had spoken to Captain Tucker about raiding his galley for some items and had taken them back to the one in Mereel's cabin.

During her time in the kolto, Mereel had been doing further looking into his sister and was expected to return shortly. When he walked in, the aromas of the cooking would most likely have spread even outside of their shared space. Hoping she had her timing right and dinner would be ready just as he got back.

Around her were scattered the supplies she had taken, most of them now all gone, but she had needed to carry them in something. Luckily the main galley had everything she had wanted and as she cooked, she hummed or whistled some of the tunes from her childhood. Now it was just a waiting game and she cleaned up the mess she had made and then herself.

Starting to think of this ship as a home, she didn't dress up fully in her normal outfit and wore a simple shirt and pants. However, even they held the same desert colors all her clothing did. Taking a seat on a chair in the room, Seo smelled the air around her and smiled. This should be a really good meal. The conversation that she needed to have with him might not be that good.

Looking up hen she heard steps approaching the room, they were the familiar gait of Mereel and she just hoped she was ready.

[member="Mereel Vaun"]

 

[Mereel Vaun]

Mereel's shoulders stooped long before he reached the door to his quarters, the smell in the air of the hallway was completely disarming and it only grew stronger as he got closer to his quarters. Our quarters. He still wasn't quite used to calling it that, but he knew that eventually he would stop thinking about the living space as a place only belonging to him before what it had become: a home for both of them, and soon it would be a home for their child.

A starship is no place to raise a child. Right?

Shaking his head and pushing the thought from his mind, Mereel opened the door to his and Seo's quarters and stumbled in. A small smile formed under his helmet as he walked further into the room and discovered the source of the aroma he had smelled in the hallway. The meal was hardly the first thing he saw though.

Walking past his own chair in silence, he pulled off his helmet and let the only piece of armor he had been wearing fall to the floor. Without the helmet, the smile on his face shone freely as he stared into her golden eyes and stopped beside her chair.

"Stand up, please."

[member="Seo Linn"]

 

[Retired]

She had been out of the med bay for a day or two now only, but the freedom to move around again was great. After gathering up what she needed to make the food though, she had returned to their shared room and gotten to work on the meal. Mereel might not think of it, but it was the work of love. This would also be the first time they had seen each other since she came out of the bacta tank. Most likely he had been of chasing something down about his sister in the last day or so.

When he entered, Seo watched as he took his helmet off and let it fall to the floor. He stopped next to the chair she was sitting and smiled at her. Returning that smile, she was already on the way to her feet when he requested her to stand up. In a still graceful movement, she was up and in front of him. Not knowing what he planned on, she didn't reach out to touch or hug like him like she very much wanted to do.

Not yet ready to speak of what was on her mind, she figured on waiting until after they had eaten. If this was the last conversation they had, at least it would be after a good meal. Hoping that wasn't going to be case, Seo did show any tells on her thoughts and waited for Mereel to do or say something after asking her to stand up.

[member="Mereel Vaun"]

 

[Mereel Vaun]

He had noticed the meal, but he hadn't fallen in love with Seo's cooking, he had fallen in love with her. This was the first time he had seen her out of a medical tank in almost two weeks, and if she was out of the medbay, that meant the Iviin'yc's medical staff thought she waa okay enough for him to do this.

Still smiling, Mereel wrapped his arms around just below her waist and hoisted her up in the air, holding her tight. Hopefully she would steady herself by placing her arms on his shoulders, but if not he wasn't going to drop her. He was sore and reeked of carbon scoring, but even if she didn't steady herself and left him hanging to make an awkward hold, he wasn't too tired to spin them around once while planting a few quick, desparate kisses on her.

Afterwards, he'd pull back to look her over, but he didn't move to put her down yet, "You have no idea how happy I am to see you here instead of floating in a cylindrical tank."

[member="Seo Linn"]

 

[Retired]

When Mereel grabbed her and picked her up bodily, she did what was natural and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Taking in the smell of him, Seo let out a sigh and just reveled in it. Kicking her heels out behind her slightly when he spun them around, she giggled slightly like a little girl. He slowed the spin down, but did not let her go. Planting some kisses on her, they were returned as much as she could given the position she was in.

Smiling down at him, she nodded before speaking.

"I really do have a very good idea. As pleased and happy as I was to see you hovering over me and saving my life...what was the planet? The medical staff here said there were some things I wouldn't remember fully. In time I'll be fine though."

[member="Mereel Vaun"]

 

[Mereel Vaun]

The sound of Seo's laugh caused Mereel to feel a warmth that spread throughout his entire body, and the snug embrace of her arms around his shoulders combined with her returned kisses only amplified the feeling.

Mereel frowned when Seo said her memory wasn't all there, but he breathed a small sigh of relief when she said it would recover. "Aargonar - that was the planet's name. I'm going to have to get something to thank Jheln and Evans for their quick work. You're a sight for weary eyes."

Right now he really wished he could just spend the whole night embracing her, but she had prepared a meal while he was away, and he imagined eating while hugging or cuddling was unnecessarily difficult. With no small amount of reluctance, he gently lowered Seo to set her back on her feet.

As he took his hands off her backside, he took his first good look at what she had prepared on the table. He smiled broadly.

"You've been busy. I know for a fact that we didn't have Nuna for you to roast. Thank you cyar'ika, let's not let it get cold."

[member="Seo Linn"]

 

[Retired]

When he reminded her of the name of the planet, more of what happened returned to her. She remembered why she had been there, but not how she had been knocked out. That came back and her hand went up to the back of head to lightly touch where she had been hit. A small sense of sorrow came from her and she looked up at Mereel as he put her down. Keeping her arms around his neck, Seo just wanted the moment to last a little longer.

Smiling at him, she left her arms fall and took a hold of his hand to lead him to the table.

"It took a bit of asking, but I got everything I needed from the galley here. Captain Tucker gave me permission to raid it. I hope you like it."

The two chairs were already pulled out and ready to be sat in along with silverware. They would just need drinks and once Mereel was sitting, she got those too. Taking a seat with him, she hoped the food would be what he expected.

Once everything was in place, she picked up her utensils to start eating. Pointing her fork at him, there was a question on her face as she chewed.

"Have you learned anything more about the location of your sister?"

His sister had been a reason for several things that happened between them. Hired by his father to track her down, find her and return her home...she had been on Aargonar following a lead.

[member="Mereel Vaun"]

 

[Mereel Vaun]

Although he really wasn't all that happy about having to put Seo down, he had to let go of her eventually if they wanted to eat the meal she had made. He returned her smile easily, and when she took his hand to lead him to the table he gave her hand a gentle squeeze before once again he had to let go - this time to sit across the table from her.

"If you would've put paste in a bowl I would like it right now. Asking Tucker to raid the galley and putting this all together is a lot more effort than paste in a bowl, I'll love it.'"

With a fork in his right hand and knife in his left, Mereel clumsily cut away at the largest slice of nuna meat on his plate. It was amazing how replacing an arm with a hunk of unfeeling metal made simple things like precisely cutting food so difficult and other things like immobilizing an entire room so easy. After carving off a few smaller slices, he began scarfing down the nuna meat.

After he finished chewing a still considerably-large forkful of nuna meat, he tore his eyes from his plate to answer Seo's question. "Not a thing. I haven't only been following leads on her though."

He took a bite of the potatoes on his plate and contemplated telling her more about what he had been doing. If he told her, she would be worried, possibly worried enough to convince him out of following through on the mission he had been doing, but he decided to risk it. He hadn't kept any secrets from her, and he wasn't going to start now.

"You remember the party on Veradune? When I told you about how I lost my hand?"

[member="Seo Linn"]

 

[Retired]

Love was just one of the reasons Seo had gone through with this. Wanting to make sure everything was in the clear and out of respect for the captain and Mereel was why the reason she had asked. If he had anything planned for the food, she wouldn't have taken it. As it was, given free reign she had taken everything she needed and was pleased with how things had turned out.

Watching as Mereel cut his food up, she waited on him to answer. A mental note was made to make food that didn't need cutting up. It would be easier for him to eat. She had accepted that as a part of him and wasn't going to question it. He mentioned he had been following additional leads on his sister, but something else in addition to her.

When he asked if she remember the party on Veradune, she slowly nodded.

"The dragon man. I remember. You blew it off, right?"

[member="Mereel Vaun"]

 

[Mereel Vaun]

A glint appeared in Mereel's eyes, and he set down his fork for a moment to wipe his face. When his hand was done making sure that none of the hastily eaten roast had been left on his face, he picked his fork back up and allowed his pained grin to display itself.

"Mhmm.. Why does everyone always focus on the fact that I blew up my own hand? Is it really that crazy given the situation?"

He spoke with mock indignation and breathed out an exaggerated sigh before letting out a short, somewhat nervous chuckle. He didn't think Seo saw where he was going with what he was saying yet, but he didn't think about trying to find an out for himself. He was committed to the course. He speared another piece of the roast with his fork and gave it a few chews before tucking the savory meat in the side of his cheek to speak.

"Anyway, New Republic Intelligence sent me on a mission to Nirauan. It was supposed to be a blue milk run - find out why an anti-Sith Empire insurgent group went silent, but I ran into that Dravalan again, or his soldiers rather. Turns out that monster has his own private army, and I think I might get called in to continue investigating it."

[member="Seo Linn"]

 

[Retired]

She didn't think that was what she had focused when asking for the clarification. Unsure that he may have heard it wrong, her brows came down a moment a moment until she heard the tone in Mereel's voice.

"I was never given the full details of the situation. Only what was passed on to me on Veradune."

Generic details had been given and the subject had been dropped. Seo had not asked any further than that. It wasn't that she did not want to know, but figured it was something that he should bring up when he wanted to. So now it seemed was that time.

Listening to what he said, she nodded. Was sent on one mission and learned that this other person was involved. This man did not scare her though and making sure to make eye contact when she spoke, she set her fork down to give him her full attention.

"Like with your sister, if you need my help, let me know."

Picking up her fork again, her attention returned to the meal in front of her. Just do to the upcoming topic, she only paid attention to the food with half her attention. Maybe it was good they hadn't shared more meals together for him to know this as a tell from her. Once she finished her plate though, Seo sat back and waited for Mereel to finish his.

[member="Mereel Vaun"]

 

[Mereel Vaun]

Mereel swallowed and blinked his eyes in disbelief. He hadn't expected her to take the news so well. The last time he had fought the dragon man, he had taken his own arm off and all he had managed to do was get a few drops of blood from the beast. She wouldn't know that detail, but he had still lost one of his limbs in the ordeal and the Matador was very much still alive.

His shoulders relaxed, and he stared back into Seo's eyes after she offered her help."I couldn't ask you to help me with this so soon. You should spend a little more time recovering first. There's also the fact that you're not just taking yourself into combat anymore."

He flashed her a warm smile and resumed eating. They had eaten together plenty of times in the mess hall during their trip to Lorrd, and they had shared a few meals together after that. He couldn't help but think she seemed more retracted than normal, but he brushed it off as a side effect of the recovery process.

Eager to be done with dinner so he could be close to her again, Mereel finished the last of the meal quickly. "That was the best dinner I've had in.. well, years. Thank you."

Mereel began to stand up from his chair. "I'll clean this up, but I want to resume where we left off before we had to eat afterwards."

[member="Seo Linn"]

 

[Retired]

She knew what was bothering her and would address it after dinner. Smiling when he expressed concern for the fact she was pregnant she shook her head.

Lifting a hand to try and stop him, she failed and he finished. It wasn't bad though.

"I have a good idea on what is or isn't possible. However I won't put myself in any danger."

Gathering up her own plates she handed them to Mereel. While he put them away, it gave her the chance to think on her words. When he finished, she shook her head again slightly.

"Before that happens I need to tell you something and you're not going to like it."

Letting out a sigh, she held a hand out to him.

"Mereel Vaun, I love you with all my being. But I wasn't always faithful to you."

There it was said. Now the story could be told if he even wanted to learn it. Not speaking further, her heart was in her throat and Seo was afraid he would just tell her to leave.

 

[Mereel Vaun]

He took her plates when offered and stacked them on top of his own before stepping out of the room. As he set the dishes in the washer, he whistled a tune to himself. He couldn't remember the words, but he knew that the song had been a bittersweet melody, one he had picked up from an old spacer in a cantina years ago.

Walking back to the table, he cut off his dour whistling and gave her a heartfelt smile. When she said she had to tell him something he wouldn't like, he raised a curious eyebrow at her and his shoulders pulled back slightly, a tell he was steeling himself in preparation. Still, even upon hearing this he took her hand with his right to give it a reassuring squeeze.

He hadn't prepared himself enough for what she had to say.

Blood turned to ice, and his grip on her hand went limp as her words hit him with the force of a falling bag of bricks. Pulling his hand back away from hers, he looked at her with unnacepting confusion.

"What are you talking about? Is this about Ronin? It's okay, you told me that was before we met." His eyes were locked on hers, but his voice was a mumble.

[member="Seo Linn"]

 

[Retired]

Watching his body language, when Mereel stiffened up, it almost felt like a slap in the face to her. Even though he squeezed her hand after she told him he wasn't going to like what she had to say.

His reaction to her bombshell wasn't entirely what she expected. Her meeting of Ron had happened before she had met Mereel. They both knew that and he should know what she spoke of was more recent. Seo had picked her words carefully. That would have to happen again.

Maintaining that eye contact, to prove and show to him how much he meant to her, she was not going to look away as she spoke.

"This is not about Ron. Somebody else. After we were taken to your father and before that festival...I had a one night stand with a Mandalorian. I regret it now and if I could go back in time to change what happened, I would."

She wanted nothing more than to have his hand within hers, all she did was hold it open at her side from when he let go of it.

[member="Mereel Vaun"]

 

[Mereel Vaun]

Mereel held contact with her eyes after what she said, but he couldn't read anything from them. His own emotional state was too confused to understand what her look or expressions meant right now. All he knew immediately was that he felt wounded, and he had a storm of questions floating around in his mind that he didn't know if he wanted to know the answers to.

Feeling overwhelmed, he took a single step back from her and let his eyes fall to the floor. He saw where her hand was and what it was doing as his eyes transitioned from her own to the floor panels, but he didn't care. He couldn't comfort her right now, he had none that he could offer.

"Why did you say what you did on Veradune?"

To his own surprise, his voice didn't waver, but he could hear his own sadness in it, his own weakness. He let out a sniffle and wiped his nose.

He didn't want to cry with her still here, so he tried to bottle it up with pain of a different kind. He bit down on his lip hard. When he tasted iron, he lifted his head. Looking at her again, a dim spark lit in his eyes.

"You said that you fell in love with me on Carida. Did you just say that because you thought it sounded cute?"

[member="Seo Linn"]

 

[Retired]

Accepting the distance he had made between them, Seo wasn't sure what was going to happen. One thing she did know was that she didn't want to lose Mereel over a one night stand. The fact she was coming clean of her transgression, she hoped would be a benefit here.

There was no mistaking the pain she saw on him. Brought about both by her words and his action. Of course, he wasn't going to admit what she said had been the cause. Not being an overly expressive person, if he looked her own pain would be evident.

His voice was sad, but solid. Still looking at where his eyes would be on him, her gaze covered the top of his head. Then he looked back up at her, he would find she hadn't looked away from him. There was as much pain in her eyes and on her body to almost bring the temperature down in the room. That didn't happen though, but there was change in the two of them.

"It started then and that was what he asked. I wasn't positive I loved you fully until that festival. By then it was too late and my mistake had been made."

Taking the question for what the words were, that day on Carida had been when Seo started to have real feelings for Mereel. After they had been released by his father, they had spent time apart and she hadn't know if he wanted to keep in contact. It hadn't crossed her mind then he would have to because his father had also assigned her to help with finding the sister.

"Can you forgive me?"

Having grown up a slave, Seo did not relish having to beg or ask for anything now she was free. Yet she found herself doing just that right now.

[member="Mereel Vaun"]

 

[Mereel Vaun]

The temperature in the room may not have actually changed, but that didn't stop his heart from feeling cold. A mental note was made in the back of his mind that her eyes were still on his, and that she looked just as distressed as him, it brought him a faint speck of comfort. Almost without noticing, he took a small step closer to her.

As much as he wanted to, he couldn't let her go, but he couldn't let her off the hook yet either. His mind was torn between anger and agony. It was a struggle to keep himself in place now that he had stepped closer, but he managed to resist the urge to go to the corner of the room to pickup his helmet and hide his face in the familiar shell. The words he uttered in response to her question of forgiveness were out his lips before he even had time to properly think. "I don't know."

His eyes unfocused and he stared at a point in the air past her. Those were his thoughts, but he didn't want to lose her. She was the mother of his child.. Mereel's eyes snapped back into focus, and once again he was able to meet her eyes. He wouldn't break eye contact from her during this question, no matter how much his stomach sank.

It began feeling to him like a lot of their relationship had been built around a lack of information - he had failed to tell her why he invited her to the festival of lights until she got there, she had failed to tell him about her first son, and now she was unveiling the latest piece in the details-swept-under-the-rug exhibit. It was easily the worst either of them had done, and if his terrible suspicion was right, the one night stand might have not have even been the worst part of it.

Voice strained, Mereel began to ask a question that had an answer that would entirely devastate him if used, "I want to talk about Veradune more, but first I have to ask.. are you even sure that that child is mine?"

[member="Seo Linn"]

 

[Retired]

There was a buried feeling of relief when Mereel stepped closer to her again. He did not reach out to take her hand and his answer was accepted. That hand remained open and at her side though.

Her own thoughts did not revolve around their deceptions or keeping things hidden. Instead it was set on the situation at hand and the conversation happening. When he answered, he hadn't been focused on her. As he continued though, his eyes snapped back into focus on her. His question was not at all out of line, but Seo had an answer waiting for him almost before he finished asking it.

Those gold eyes of her lit up, but not in anger or anything negative. Within her was still the fact she was ashamed of her action, but now love lit them.

"There is no doubt, Mereel. Yes, this child is yours."

[member="Mereel Vaun"]

 

[Mereel Vaun]

Entirely focused on her and how she would respond, he noticed the change in her eyes and demeanor in an instant. After she spoke, there was a slight tug at the corner of his lip that lasted only a fraction of a second. No light rushed into his eyes immediately, but he didn't break contact from the unique pair of golden eyes he had grown to love seeing.

She had never stopped being the woman he loved, which is why what she told him hurt so much. He still had a sea of questions for her in his mind, but one of the bigger ones had been handled now. Knowing that she was the mother of his child lifted a massive weight on his chest, and flipped a switch in his mind, reminding him of something.

He took another step closer to her, this time slower and more deliberate. He kept staring into her eyes, his own were still glossy, and his facial expression remained neutral.

"Stand up, please." His voice was quiet, it was the highest volume he could speak at without it cracking or wavering.

[member="Seo Linn"]