Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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A Long Overdue Meeting...

My career as a padawan of the The Silver Jedi Order had been an eventful one to say the least. I'd stolen Sith research, absconded with several cases worth of Arkanian diamonds, mined phrik, resurrected a Jedi from the days of The Old Republic, had a girlfriend, lost the same girlfriend, joined the Mandalorians, crafted my own Beskar'gam, been possesed by the spirit of Darht Traya and finally found myself a Master who actually cared to see me grow as her apprentice.

The fact was though that I'd done some...questionable things if not outright violent. I had a mix of cultures in me Echani and Mandalorian. Both were combat oriented the Echani for knowledge of self and others and the Mandalorian for honor and coin both. The problem was that at least one of my former Masters had mentioned that I was too militaristic for most of The Order. I'd worked with a crimelord and I'd enjoyed it...James wasn't all bad but the fact remained he was violent in the extreme when he needed to be.

So here I sat in the Voss temple in one of the outdoor meditation areas waiting for a summons from Master Coci Heavenshield. I'd heard the Heavenshield name several times whilst with the Silver Jedi Order but I'd never actually sought any of them out. They'd always seemed to be on a different level, untouchable almost. But I figured that with my Master off Force knew where it was probably past time for me to fully admit my....criminal element and learn to rein it in. I wanted to be a good Jedi, a noble Knight, but I wasn't sure I actually was very noble at all... Perhaps Master Coci would see something I couldn't or hadn't seen yet....

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]
 
What to do with this one? She was not a bad person, per se, but had done bad things .. at least in the eyes of the Jedi. Maybe she had fallen through the cracks, and venture out into the galaxy alone after some attempts to join in the Temple, and met some people that had been an undesirable influence on her. Coci knew that she had been under the wing of Master [member="Rasu Gan"], and she knew Rasu very well. Unless something had change in the Master, Coci believe that Rasu was trying to bring back this young girl to the light, see the error of her ways possibly. But Rasu, like all Jedi, can't be everywhere all the time and is on hiatus.

In light of this, Coci had called the wayward padawan back to Voss, to the Temple .. to talk. Sense around the young girl, was on of contrition, that was a good start and maybe within her was the desire to change, to find her way once more. She would have to account for her crimes, that would be insisted and expected. And Coci had a plan for her, if she was indeed, interested in finding the true path.

Only time would tell .. and some rather rigorous tests.

"Welcome back to Voss, Padawan Celiana", she greeting the young woman. She approached Celiana and stood in front of her only a few meters away, "A chat is overdue don't you think?". However, their was a warm smile there to greet her.
[member="Celiana"]
 
Opening my eyes at her voice I looked up at her. She had a kind smile which I took to be a good thing. Not quite ready to get up I said, "Aye Master, I've put off this chat for some time..." Gesturing towards the ground beside me I said, "I've been thinking recently about my mistakes, my...aggression, and my choices in who to open my heart to...all of those things seem to be connected and there doesn't seem to be any answers..."

If I was being honest with myself then Aria had been my main reason for being on Voss for any length of time. After she'd left I'd been alone and I'd started working with some unsavory types to get my goals accomplished. Master Rasu had been my saving grace and I missed her...she had a way about her that put me at ease and made me feel like I wasn't a lost cause... Now I wasn't sure where I stood and the Master of the Order was here to chat with me. Hopefully she'd see what could be done and that i wasn't a lost cause too...

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]
 
She moved closer to Celiana and sat down opposite her on one of the ornamental rocks. "Naturally they are connected, these series of mistakes, choices and agression you speak of, there is not one without the other". Coci moved her hands to rest them on her lap. "However, I will give you credit for coming to seek guidance, at least you recognise that you need it". If only others would have done the same, realise that help is there for them and take the courage to come to someone they trust.

Coci knew that she had to earn Celiana's trust, that was not a given by any means, but this meeting was a start. "Maybe you are looking for the answers in the wrong place, where have you looked to find them?". and what answers was she hoping to find? "I do believe your .. adventures in the galaxy has seen you partake in less then ideal activities", very diplomatic indeed. "If you thought that this would find answers for you, it is not the place to look". And she was not blaming others for her own actions, that spoke volumes for the young girls character.
[member="Celiana"]
 
Listening had never been one of my strong suits but now I did. What answers had I been looking for? Clarity most definitely, perhaps my biggest question was if Aria had ever actually loved me... Why had I done most of the illegal things I'd done? Well the adventure aspect certainly but if I was being truly honest then it was because I'd been privileged during most of my upbringing, and I'd finally decided that I wanted to do what was needed to make my own way and earn my own money and not to just take handouts.

Looking at her I saw a desire to understand me... I finally spoke and said, "Master quite often I've not trusted others with my heart or anything else for that matter. There was a young woman who earned both here in the Silver Jedi...Aria Vale was her name. I don't know what she goes by now on account of her having left the order entirely. I sought out her former Master for answers on why she left and what he knew but rather than answers I received emotional manipulation from him with promises of perhaps finding Aria. As heart-breaking as it was I had to make the choice to let her go and walk away. I wasn't going to betray my beliefs and morals for anyone...including her."

Sighing I paused for a moment to let that information sink in. Then I continued, "As to my... activities well Master this may surprise you but I was a bounty-hunter and assassin before I came to be part of The Silver Jedi. My upbringing was on Eshan, the hard and gritty world of politics on Coruscant and the streets below, then it was with hard love from a Mandalorian woman named Arja. Some of my activities have been...less than ideal but I've tried for the things that I've done to not stack up a body count. Arkania for example, there was a theft about a year ago in which there was a scientific facility broken into. The facility I'd been informed was a cover for Sith research and development. The associate of mine and I disabled a truck carrying diamonds and we found research notes and samples of the updated Rakghoul plague and cure. This was after the situation with Master Harrison that involved a Rakghoul outbreak and The Sith using the Rakghoul plague to ravage a Jedi Outpost."

Continuing I said, "My...illicit activities have been in large part due to the fact that growing up I was given basically whatever I wanted. After having lived in the lower levels of Coruscant I decided I never wanted things handed to me again. I wanted to earn them. Often times that meant associating with some rather unsavory people and engaging in illegal acts to earn the favor of them providing me what I needed. I won't lie I knew it was wrong but it for me anyways it was either that or take handouts. The Jedi way of life doesn't pay well I'm afraid..."

"My Master to her credit has accepted that I'm not perfect and mentioned that she thinks I've got promise. Which has made a huge difference in how I've wanted to start conducting myself as a Jedi. She said that I'd be ready for knighthood before long but that there were some things I'd need to work on in my own personal life. She also mentioned that I should seek guidance from others....though I'm loathe to do so, probably due to the fact that I'm stubborn and a mix of Echani, Mandalorian, and Jedi cultures..."

Looking down at the ground I realized I'd probably just bombarded Master Coci with too much information to process. So I sat there and remained silent instead of being thought a fool....

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]
 
She let Celiana have her head, and the amount of bottled up emotions and issues came pouring out of the young girl, it was cathartic for her and she hoped that even just speaking the words would help herself somewhat. A burden removed when shared with another, at least in part. The young girl spoke of love and loss, heart ache which only the strong can overcome in time but at least Celiana recognised the fact where others will let it all fester and become a problem later in life. Some of the people she spoke of, cause pain in Coci as well, the loss of friends of the Order is still raw and with the mention of Aria and Connor, Coci reflected on recent events.

"Both Master Harrison and Aria have lost their Way, and I am not sure what to tell you with this as their fall was over time and deep within them both. Connor may have influenced Aria in this regard, it would be most likely as she was his Padawan. He had not her best interests at heart, he allowed his apprentice to fall along with him under the impression that the darkness was, is .. the answer. Celiana, don't let that happen to you for the darkness only holds pain and sorrow. Not only for yourself but the pain you would cause others that you love".

"You are contradictory, a complex young lady I can see that, and while doing questionable things you have done things most Jedi would in assisting others. I don't sense darkness in you, or the want to cause harm to others, but maybe you have been left to find your own way for far too long. Without guidance, good council at your hands".

"The Jedi life is not a life that requires credits", Coci smiled knowing full well the Jedi only receive credits enough to sustain life for themselves and nothing more. "That is not why we do what we do. However, we are not like Jedi of old and understand that there is a need for this from some within the Order and we are acceptable to Jedi that wish to form business for the betterment of others". She did not mean a charity affair, but more that in business there is means of helping others that lead the way of the good.

"I believe you wish to change and I will help you. Your Master, Rasu is away and will be for some time so in her stead I will give you the guidance you need as best I can. But you will need to show me you are repentant of past actions and in this way we can move you back toward a better path".
[member="Celiana"]
 
Smiling slightly at Master Coci's words I said, "Aye Master I've been on my own for so long that I suppose I simply decided to lose myself in the loneliness. That being said I am wanting to find a better way...I was an assassin prior to joining the Jedi so if nothing else I want to avoid stacking up a body count. I know that being a Jedi means sometimes needing to make the difficult decision to take a life in order to save others but I'd prefer to keep that to a minimum if I possibly can..."

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]
 
"Well that is something", she smile almost would be considered an amused smile. Coci was not about to make comment on her past as assassin after all she had come from the very same background. And in some case, still is when needed although those mission are very few these days. The journey of being alone is the safe one, the easier option in the sense you have no one to be accountable to and responsibility is removed. Save for one person, themselves.

"You have began on the path for change already. You had the reasoning to seek guidance, admit to passed actions that are not in your best interests or for the interests of others, and you now stand ready to either choose to walk directly along the same lines or take the new path. However I must ask you .. what is it you want? what is it that you are seeking in order to achieve this change".

Coci's question is a mean in which to find out what this young girl see as her ideal to achieve her new goals and if at all, Coci will help her if the reasoning is sound. Training and new skills will help with added guidance. No doubt Celiana has developed many skills on her own out there in the wilds of space and much could be used to hone. There is no class room that can prepare a Jedi or anyone for that matter, for life in the wider galaxy only life experience can do that and it can be more valuable then any words from a wise master.


[member="Celiana"]
 
Considering her question I thought for a moment and finally said, "Master I want to be able to do what is needed to prepare me to teach someone else. I'm a fan of history and one of the things I've revisited was how Anakin Skywalker had an apprentice for a time. I was interested to see that the records showed how both of them improved having each other to train with, how they were both more in control of themselves and how they learned from each other. I suppose Master that I want to be prepared to at some point take on an apprentice of my own."

Taking a breath I looked at the ground before speaking again. "Master I'm aware of my past and how it has affected my present here with the Silver Jedi. I suppose I've always been somewhat of a wildcard like Anakin. I've just been so caught up in finding where I belong and trying to fit myslef somewhere that I just never asked for help in finding where I actually belonged here. I'm not sure what to do with the fact that I was trained as a bladeswoman on Eshan, learned to seduce and pickpocket on Coruscant, and have been taught the skills of a Mandalorian assassin. I mean how do I use those skills in service to The Order? I know that Aria had gone into training as one of the Silver Shadows, I know that Master Harrison was a leader of that particular branch of the Jedi here on Voss. I also know that both he and Aria were corrupted and I'm left to wonder if I were to seek out someone involved with the Shadows if I'd end up the same. The problem is that I actually have those skills and there are very few ways to use them that don't involve killing or sabotage for coin."

Pulling a knife from my belt along with a chunk of wood I began carving, organizing my next thoughts. Blowing some of the wood chips away I asked, "Master what could I use those skills for as a Jedi? Is there any way The Order can use someone like me to do good? I've got plenty of talents but no idea what to do with any of them that'd be in service to others in The Order..."

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]

OOC: Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you Coci school assignments overwhelmed me and I was able to catch up so sorry again for the late response
 
"Not so much the skills I suppose", she smiled as she listed her experiences in the wider galaxy, "But the lessons learned from them, in the sense of the errors of your ways if you will. You could teach someone to be guarded against such things as you have knowledge of the down falls". It was interesting to hear her speak of Anakan Skywalker as a hero type, and in his early days she supposed he could be view that way, but we all know how that story ends.

"Be mindful of what you aspire to, and who your role models are. Anakin Skywalker was a very .. strong individual and I mean by this his character not force strength. And even he succumbed to the darkness. One may venture to say it was destined, but I do believe we choose our destines or at least have the ability to change a path if the way we are on is dangerous. The trick is to recognise that you might be 'wandering'". These comments of course are generalising the man but they could sit here for weeks speaking about him and what history has to show them.

"So to answer you, what goodness you can bring to the Order is entirely up to you. But think on it, think about the possibilities in teaching others the dangers in allowing yourself to partake in this behaviour". Coci stood up and brush down her robes, as if she was preparing to leaving.

"Your master, [member="Rasu Gan"] is away and will be for some time yet, in the mean time until she returns if you like I can oversee your progress and if and when you are ready, you are to face the Trials of the Jedi. Only then will you know if you are what you wish to be".
[member="Celiana"]
 
Listening as Master Coci spoke I had to say I agreed about her assessment of Master Skywalker. Looking towards her I said, "Aye Master, in the absence of Master Rasu I'd appreciate that. There is something else I'd appreciate though....that would be knowledge of what exactly the Silver Shadows are responsible for doing. Simply put I'm curious if after the trials that might be the proper place for me based on my....dark past. Also I'm curious as to your thoughts on where I'd be most effective as a member of The Order as I'd guess you've heard multiple things about me from various sources...."

[member="Coci Heavenshield"]

OOC: Sorry it's taken me awhile to get back to you Coci. School has been cray...
 

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