A lesson in sanity

[Arage Bao]

We sat in small room, its location classified to all but the highest ranking officers in my organization. It was a room of.. I’d say pain, agony and most of all regret, I think. The first two were fairly simple to explain, and you will find out more about those in a few moments. But why regret, you are probably wondering, it’s a good question.

Because.. let’s be honest, we know what happens in this room. Why would regret play any role in its function? It was a simple matter, really. Once you hear the words spoken, once the vibrations find their way into your ear.. well the mystery is gone and you find yourself enlightened.

The truth was this.

Every person finding him or herself in this room would be presented with a choice. A choice which was by its own definition fairly simple, but the foundations upon which it rested. Well.. let’s just say that I understand why some people find themselves reluctant first.

It was a choice of principle and maybe priority. What was more important, the secrets you held? Or the sanity which kept your mind together?

A tough choice, I concede. But for the good of the Nation, it is a choice I have to present. Whenever we come across certain.. undesirables, and they refuse to give up valuable intel which might preserve lives.

Today I’d again present this basic choice to a man, but with me would be my apprentice. [member="Matsu Xiangu"]. She was a.. special snowflake, but we were getting along just fine.

Yes, today.. I would introduce her to my world. Only the first steps, of course. Too much and well.. let’s just say that even one such as she, would probably find itself repulsed and maybe would even start to question my sanity.

It was a thought that made me grin, loudly.

“Matsu, meet Mister Parker. Mister Parker, meet Matsu.”

Of course, Mister Matsu was blindfolded and chained to the chair he was in.

Not even speaking about the gag in his mouth. Speaking.. wasn’t a part of his plans.

That too.. made me grin.

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

She sat, legs crossed, chin resting lightly on the delicate fingers of her real hand as she watched the blindfolded man with dark eyes.

It had not been long since the day she’d met [member="Jared Ovmar"] (and there had been a slight delay – needing emergency surgery after trying to cut one’s arm off did sometimes ruin timetables) but already she’d come to know herself better than she would have thought possible. She was both what she knew and things unexpected, a quiet willingness to wait settling in to her bones. Lying there on that mountainside, her blood staining the pristine white with a sanguine she would have enjoyed so much more were it coming from someone else, she’d promised herself that it would never happen again.

No one would step inside her mind without her permission.
But she would master the ability to do so to others.
Domination and illusion…they were a calling.

So while she was still the predator she was less the frantic beast she had been and more the patient, menacing creature she would become with patience and the right Master. And she looked to the man now, noting the grin on his face.

And she was the Special Snowflake?

No, the thing that would perhaps only be learned by her Master with time was that he could open himself wide right there – unzip his brain and show Matsu the very innermost workings of the Sith Lord, all he’d seen and been through – and she would not turn away. She had left behind everything she’d known to follow him and while it had not been a difficult decision, it had been for a reason. She thought she’d rather get to like his world.

She looked back to the blindfolded man as pleasant introductions were exchanged, tilting her head slightly, the titanium tips of the claws on her left hand tapping against her chair as she rapped the arm. “Well met,” she said quietly, her lips curling up at the corners.

This was already shaping up to be the most…interesting lesson she’d ever had.

 

[Arage Bao]

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

There was a single lamp hanging from the ceiling, once in a while it would flicker which for some reason solicited a whimper from our guest. It was a strange notion for the simple reason that the man was blindfolded, then again maybe he could see just a little bit. Just enough to disconcern when the light cut out for just a moment, there wasn’t any other light source here.

Not because it was menacing though, or some other cheesy reason like that. I simply.. was too lazy to ask for the folks in maintenance to install some more lights in here. Besides, it did give this room some kind of air, some arts were better off practiced in the near-dark.

Otherwise you are just trying to kid yourself, making an illusion out of this work. This ain’t a fair job, ain’t a righteous one. In the end, we are here forcing a man to give up his secrets, without limiting our actions. Ends justify the means and all that. My grin was gone by the time my thoughts went out to folks that were murdered by this sociopath though.

No pity for this man, once in a while you get the pleasure of capturing a real loony. Someone who actually deserved to sit in this chair, almost made me grin again. Didn’t though, too many people had died.

I ain’t a man of feelings, not anymore. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have my memories intact. I remember how it feels to… feel, and I also remember what I would have felt if I was still the same man. Difficult, but I can almost fake it convincingly enough for myself.

“Parker here is an interesting specimen.”

Specimen, I don’t see him as a man anymore, just another bullet on my check-in board. Even without feelings this man made me somewhat nauseated, I ain’t a saint. Never said I was, done my fair share of trouble. But I never targeted kids, there is a boundary you don’t cross.

Maybe I just like to fool myself, into thinking I have some small measure of class. That I am somehow better than this.. fellow here, maybe I just like to fake it.

“Killed a dozen kids in his last bombing. Intel suggests there are two plausible bombsites, we had a contact who claimed there was a third. But we didn’t get anything substantial, so we are going off two.”

That.. formed a different reaction from Parker, just a little small perk in his cheek. Almost.. as if he was happy with something, after I said we were only going to investigate the two. He couldn’t smile, because of the gag, but that wasn’t necessary. Told me everything I needed

This is something few people understand, expression of the face. You ain’t in complete control over that.

“Scrap that. Three targets.”

Again a reaction, this time louder. He tried to scream something, probably wasn’t very happy he was found out.

“So Matsu, what’s your suggestion. How do we.. persuade our guest to tell us where he hid the other bombs?”

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

Matsu did not have particular feelings about children on either end of the spectrum. She was an only child and often working for her parents – she had no sour memories of annoying little siblings and had always been too busy to spend much time playing with other kids. Too much work to do, too much work. And if ever there was a girl in which no maternal instinct ran it was Matsu. Place a kid in front of her and she would clam up, treating the little person like a miniature rancor (close my eyes and hold my breath, hope it doesn’t see me).

But even so…there was something that struck her as particularly sick about killing children. There wasn’t much Matsu clung to – no morals, few true friends – but her one consistent idea was that of freedom. The man sitting across from them had taken away the freedom of beings just about to find their own, to move out in the galaxy and perhaps find they were meant for something greater, until vanishing in a split second at the hand of some remorseless stranger.

And she caught the hint of a smile on Parker’s face as Jared spoke. Now, sometimes Matsu liked to pretend as if the decision to become Jared’s apprentice (hah, decision! as if he had given her a choice, showing her what he could do) was the worst she’d ever made, liking to give him a hard time if only because he seemed rather unflappable. But in truth she watched him like a hawk, greedy for any little scrap of behavior she could glean from him, for the lesson even in things he may not have purposely been teaching. But there – he seemed satisfied when Parker smiled, changing his assessment from two targets to three.

Now, THERE was a trick that she didn’t sense required any stretch of the mind on Jared’s part to get what he wanted. He’d simply been calm and patient enough to read the smaller signs.

And patience was what Matsu was currently lacking, an ironic thought when Jared asked her what she would suggest. Resting her chin on her steepled fingers she gazed at Parker. Before meeting Jared – and perhaps for a dangerous period after, considering the metal affixed nearly up to her shoulder, her first instinct had been pain. Just push in to someone’s mind and tear them apart with the distraction of agony. But that hadn’t worked for her with Krius, and it hadn’t been pain that brought her to her knees…and Jared had shown her pain in the bar that day a few weeks ago, but the pain had morphed in to something more. The man she’d chosen (there, with that silly idea of choice again) to follow as her Master was capable of something far beyond the blunt manipulation of pain.

But what?

He had made her see things but it had been without clumsy force – more the light touch of suggestion, the idea planted that caused one to come to their own conclusions of what would bend and break them. There was a poetry in that she liked.

She let her eyes slip back to Jared, running her tongue along her lower lip absently before answering. “Pain can be efficient. But…I’ve seen and felt you do something that seems more effective,” she offered, unwilling to answer with something that didn’t allow for him to offer insight in to what he was capable of.

[member="Jared Ovmar"]​

 

[Arage Bao]

Her answer had not been the one I was looking for, the best way to teach a person was to let her experiment on her own. At least, that was my own personal opinion on the matter, you could show off your own prowess but in the end a bird had to fly on his or her own. She seemed determined though, to see more of what I myself could do. Which.. might not be the worst idea, maybe she could learn something. A soft sigh my lips, as I kept studying our specimen.

“Can’t get enough of it, can you.”

Eventually I raised myself from the seat I was in, and circled Parker. He was still very.. angry it seemed, not that I could really blame him. I had tricked him into telling me just what I wanted to know with one of the oldest tricks in the book. He probably felt quite… annoyed by this development.

“Few people understand the sacrifice we make by treading this path. Most Sith are little children, toddlers with the ability to warp the fabric of reality. They do not bother looking further than their noses, they see.. pain and the only thing that comes to mind is to shove it up someone’s conscience. Thinking there ain’t any other way. Short-sighted, but can you really blame them?”

I patted the bald head of Parker, which solicited more outrage. Which drew up a smile from me.

“We are not Mikhail Shorn or Ashin Varanin or even Spencer Jacobs. Or power is not in breaking down skyscrapers with brute force, create storms with a flick of our wrist. Our might is the deceit and our tools are illusions. For example.”

Next thing I did was quite simple, I removed the blindfold and the gag from his mouth. Spit all over my hand, but I casually wiped it off his shirt. The outburst of screams and curses.. wasn’t too pretty. I ignored it all though, kept my cool and continued to talk as if he wasn’t ‘ere. My voice would appear in Matsu’s head, as much as it rang out in the room.

“Our senses, to be able to see, hear, smell and touch.. we take it for granted and believe that what we experience is reality. This is a lie, what we experience is always limited by our own understanding of what surrounds us. Consider high level technology which for us is science, but show it to a Caveman and it would be magic. Now take Parker here, he can’t stop threatening us. Giving him pain, will at first only strengthen his resolve. Of course, eventually.. we would break him, but do we really have the time for that? Who knows when those bombs will go off. Instead.. we show him that we are in control.”

My hand waved behind Parker’s head, a movement which wasn’t that useful. But it helped the concentration and it allowed Matsu to see what was happening, sorta. Immediately after my handwaving, something changed in Parker’s demeanor. He halted his tirade and tried to look around, blinking in the light. He murmured something about darkness, asking what was happening, it seemed the man had lost his sight.

“With a wave of my hand I took his eyesight. This fact will settle into his brain, a seed of corruption which will spread throughout his body. If this man can do such a thing with just a handwave, what… else can he do? It’s simple psychology, Matsu. Do you.. understand?”

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

Mikhail Shorn. Ashin Varanin. Spencer Jacobs.

They were names that Matsu had heard before the Fringe came in to her life, and they were names she’d come to know quite well after joining. They were an ideal, beings to chase behind and eventually – with any luck – be considered among them. Matsu enjoyed a certain proclivity for telekinesis, a natural adeptness when it came to physics that gifted her with a prowess growing more creative with every day. But her true strength lay in that which [member="Jared Ovmar"] was molding in her and she’d given up almost everything to focus on it. She had the most basic skills with a weapon and a good grasp on those powers that emerged first in a budding Force user, but besides telekinesis Matsu had given herself wholly to illusion, deception – the mind, the strings under her fingers.

But she was brought back to reality by the impressively colorful vocabulary of Parker, looking almost bored as he spewed filth towards her.

Look, even if I wanted to help you, you’re in Ovmar’s grasp now.
And I don’t want to help you.

The blank-eyed stare and sudden slack in Parker’s jaw tipped Matsu off to Jared’s tactics before the bald man asked about a ‘darkness’. It was the gaze of the blind, a fixation on one point as the other senses took their hungry portion of concentration. Oh, she understood. It was a subtlety he’d shown her a few times before and one she’d seen used by others. Subtle was not always the name of Matsu’s game and she didn’t think she’d ever lose that undercurrent of beast, of an animal. But to use that energy in different ways…

Reaching out with her mind, she wove her way to Parker and plucked away his hearing. It was a hold that she could relinquish whenever she chose, restoring what he wanted as soon as he would think about cooperating. She was about to say she understood when Parker’s sightless eyes started whipping back and forth in his head, sensory deprivation worming its way in to his consciousness, a babbling bordering on pleading escaping him. No sight. No sound. Dark and silent. One could go mad, really.

What she wanted was a way to build illusions, to make him believe something was there - anything - when it was not. But...baby steps. First, lose the knee-jerk reaction for pain. Then, learn to unleash the horror of the inside of her head on the rest of them.

 

[Arage Bao]

She learned quickly and that pleased me immensely, but now was not the time for praise. Ain’t the scene for that, which really brought me back to Parker. Guy was struggling now, without sight and without hearing.. must be one hell of a ride he was currently experiencing. But there was always more to do, more to experience. Matsu knew it, she hungered for it. Was really as clear as day.

“Like I said before. Sacrifices, my dear Matsu. Some Masters would throw their apprentices into the deep and dark, without telling them about it. Maybe.. they don’t understand it themselves, always a possibility. You forfeit your very soul, do you understand? I have experienced the Netherworld, ain’t a pretty sight.”

As I spoke, my hand moved behind Parker’s head again. This time he silenced himself immediately, his eyes focused on an indistinct point in the corner. Murmurs came from his lips.

“w-what are you? no no. That isn’t possible, please no. Please.”

I continued to talk straight through him though.

“Are you ready for this, truly? Some kids think they can come back from what we do. Think they can run around be good and bad at the same time. Stench on your soul won’t wash away, no matter how hard you try. Tell me you want this, Matsu. Tell me you crave for this power.”

Parker’s murmur in the meanwhile came up to a crescendo of pleading and more pleading. Until my hand slammed onto his bald head, one high pitched whine came from his mouth and then nothing.

I.. on the other hand was in full control. While Parker had been confused, worried, in agonizing terror and conflict it had given me the slight edge over his mind to slip through his defenses. I saw all, and knew all.

And I knew where the bombs were.

“Locations are acquired. Transmitting now.”

“Well.. Matsu. Power or Redemption. First and last chance.”

We all knew what she was going to pick, didn’t mean I shouldn’t give the girl an option. I ain’t a bad guy, I am just corrupted to a fault. Doesn’t mean I can’t be fair in my corruption.

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

Truly, she appreciated the last chance to say no even if they both knew she wouldn’t take it.

She’d heard him describe his time in the Netherworld and knew it wasn’t to be taken lightly. She may have been fundamentally twisted but she wasn’t stupid – she respected the strong above all others, and she thought her Master to be one of the strongest. If there was something that gave him pause, that made him think so deeply as to the nature of their path, she would let it give her pause too.

For a second.

Parker’s pleading was neither music to her ears nor an annoyance. He was a backdrop, a test…a thing. It had no bearing on her own thoughts though she could hear the increasing distress and thought how easy, how easy it would be to slip her fingers in underneath the lid he was keeping on his secrets while he wasn’t looking and pluck them right from his mind. She felt a certain measure of justification when Jared seemed to have done just that, a sudden break in the silence that had come for just a moment between his lesson and the choice he suddenly gave her.

She thought for just a split second and more out of duty than real consideration for his question.

He was asking her to choose nature or nurture.
“Power.”
Nature would always win, and when she graced the Netherworld Jared could happily say he warned her.

She released her hold on Parker’s hearing just after she answered Jared’s question, her voice coming out with no compassion, no excitement despite her wealth of the latter. “Is our guest of any more use to us?” she asked, letting Parker hear something in her tone akin to boredom. He’d seen what she could and would do, what her Master could and would do, with minimal effort when he had information that could be a help to them.

What creatures were these, surely they wouldn’t hesitate to throw him away like garbage when he had nothing more of value to share with them.

If there was something left to be found, Matsu would drain him dry, branching out lightly and just skirting the edges of a mind she found unsurprisingly shallow - ready for his distress, should it come.

[member="Jared Ovmar"]​

 

[Arage Bao]

Truth to be told I had already forgotten about Parker, it was a testament to how much worth his existence was to me. There was one thing that I hadn’t talked to her about, or perhaps.. hadn’t made clear enough. It was an extension of the lesson I was trying impart on her, how to be a… well it sounded cheesy but how to be a good villain. People often misjudged, miscalculated or just blatantly got such things wrong, they figured that they were being badass while blowing up a kids’ dormitorium. They figured that they were the evil Bad who everyone had to be scared of while eating the flesh of a human being. They considered themselves the epitome of what it meant to be a Sith Lord, when raging amongst the stars and putting attention to themselves.

This too was a testament, to their failure.

Being a Villain wasn’t about losing control, about being crazy and starting blood-soaked ravages across a city. About putting attention to yourself by causing widespread mayhem without due cause. By… torturing and inflicting pain upon your victims, when you already had taken everything there was to be had from them. It was a lesson that I had learned only after being killed myself. Only after having my soul burned in the Netherworld did I understand what true agony meant, but I also understood the price which I had to pay for doing the things I did.

I no longer had real feelings, I didn’t get angry, didn’t get a fluttering feeling in my stomach when a lovely lady passes me by and I knew I had to talk to her. There was simple and utter dedication to the goals I had set myself, and the Darkside had become a tool. It had become a tool, I was in complete control. No longer did I get induced into blood-raged frenzy sprees, because some weird magical field of Forcy Space Magic decided to put some influence on me.

This was the thing she had to learn, that she had to be in control. That pleasure and was second to the cause. The cause in question could be variable, depending on what she wanted to achieve in her life.

This all flashed before my eyes, as Matsu asked me if we were done with Parker. We were, there was nothing more to be had from him and with the wave of my hand, his suffering was ended as an unknown Force snapped his neck.

“One more lesson, Matsu. We are animals, but we are in control. We do not allow ourselves to be controlled by our lowest instincts, otherwise we are no better than this mongrel here. There is a time to cause destruction and death, and there is a time when a simple snap of the neck.. is enough. Work before pleasure, my dear. Do you understand?”

[member="Matsu Xiangu"]

 

[Matsu Xiangu]

She’d never set out to be the villain. She just was. But always unrefined – the dust before the diamond. It had taken heat and pressure and trial for her to get where she was.

When she’d come to Jared she’d been that which he always advised against now: without control. She’d been prepared to raze whole cities to the ground in sweeping blasts of fury that came without reason, to watch buildings shatter in radius around her as she let loose simply to let loose. True, for her it had never been about personal glory. There was satisfaction in feeling things fall apart at the whim of her command. But regardless of her reasons she’d still been willing to torture, to destroy, to consume without due cause and whenever the mood struck her.

But wasn’t there a joy in silence?

She didn’t flinch when the man’s neck cracked.
We are animals, but we are in control.

She’d followed Jared for months, the shadow at his side, drinking his knowledge like a sponge. He’d shared concepts and powers she hadn’t thought to dream of let alone practice but they paled in comparison to the lesson he struck as a bottom line now.

Where she’d once been wild, ragged…she became polished. Wasn’t there something to be said for the quiet, for the power that came with calculation? One might not even recognize the woman Matsu was now if they’d known the girl she’d been. She moved with an oil-slick confidence, a calm and cold demeanor that seemed to get her farther than a sheer show of power ever had. She liked keeping her intentions and thoughts up her sleeve. There was still the potential in her to tear apart worlds. But now she had a cause, and a control in her gifted both by the painful stab of life experience, and the guidance of the Master who’d wrested her to her true path.

And often for Matsu, business was pleasure – enjoy what you do, and it never feels like work right?

Control in itself was the pleasure.
“I understand,” she said, her eyes trailing up from Parker to Jared.

The quiet in the lines of her face was proof – lesson learned.

[member="Jared Ovmar"]​