10 Facts About Yuuzhan Vong That Will Shock You! (#7 Restored My Faith In The Galaxy)

[Elanor Wraith]

Click click click.

Ellie might have been possibly the most exuberant and convivial introvert in the Galaxy, but she did love dressing up to go out someplace important. And today was somewhere important! One of her professors was being a real cloaca about her Xenocultural Studies class - specifically the kind of cloaca that wanted to give her a lower grade than Elanor viewed as acceptable - so she'd set out to do something about it. Something big, something that'd really knock the old Ceran's soggy socks off and show that Ellie not only could achieve, but excel. Yes, her project had to be a big, exciting thing. And after catching a Stock report while trying to fall asleep, Ellie had found the perfect target for her big, exciting project.

Iborg, as it turned out, was more than happy to loan Elanor their vice-president for an afternoon, provided they could have a gander at the paper she was going to write before it got published. That was entirely acceptable and reasonable; it wasn't as though Elanor was here to write a sting piece or practice her 'Gotcha Journalism' - something she had the skill, but not temperament for. No, she was here to learn about Vong culture, right from the source. A source. A Yuuzhan Vong, basically.

The secretary announced the presence of the young student with her usual enthusiasm on such matters - Elanor had, after all, scheduled a week in advance so as not to conflict with a busy man's schedules. The very picture of a bright-eyed, modestly professional young scholar, from her modestly bunned hair to her notepad clenched to her waist, down to the business-class heels she was wearing - Ellie was here to learn something, and she couldn't be more pleased about it.

[member="Will"] Jamaane, your two o' clock is here.

 

[Willard Jamaane]

[member="Elanor Wraith"]

What a clean-cut young human. Liberally educated, with any luck. She had none of the uptight defensive anxiety of the conservatively raised, so far as Willard could tell, and he prided himself on being able to discern political, social, and sexual leanings at a glance. That skill was a survival trait and a mark of quality, at least at his level of society. A liberal child, smart and focused -- if his instincts were accurate, he needn't worry about being portrayed as some atavistic token, 'a credit to his race' or any such exceptionalist tomfoolery. Perhaps a colloquial mistake or two, the foibles of youth -- forgivable.

He opened the office door himself, exchanged a nod with Marsha the Indispensable, and smiled at his interviewer. "You must be Miss Wraith. I'm Willard Jamaane -- call me Will. Please, come in."

His office was the picture of understated taste, if he did say so himself. Professionally decorated to taste. His purebred amphistaff, Maurice, lounged lazily inside a glass habitat that made up one wall of the office. Will generally left Maurice at home for important meetings -- unless they were the sort that benefited from having an adult amphistaff around. Sometimes that meant intimidation, and sometimes, as today, it meant that he'd guessed Miss Wraith might like to meet Maurice.

 

[Elanor Wraith]

[member="Willard Jamaane"]

"What a lovely office!" Eleanor complimented honestly, looking around with bright and curious eyes. The obvious working space of a deep thinker, the sort of person who wasn't apologetic for being cultured but neither pushy or show-offy about that fact. The slithering thing in the habitat with a place of honor among the decor must be... "I love your amphistaff, Will." The young scholar added with a cheery smile, showing that she'd done some research before into this. A journalist who went in blind was a journalist wasting somebody's time.

Will, Eleanor decided, was from the looks of it a more avid scholar than she was. Maybe he taught a few courses she could look into?

"Thank you for taking the time to meet with me today." The young human chirped, producing a small hand-held recording device from her pocket. "Do you mind if I get this interview on tape, for my notes?" It was very bad form to assume she was allowed, after all. Illegal in some places. While she didn't think Will minded, better to ask.

 

[Willard Jamaane]

[member="Elanor Wraith"]

One couldn't become VP of Sales for a galaxy-spanning cybernetics company without at least passing familiarity with a microphone. "Not at all," he said, taking an armchair. Crosh-leather dimpled around him -- these chairs were for wooing CEOs. He gestured at the other, across a low table that bore small trays of the most elite snacks in the business. "Please, have a seat and whatever you like."

One nazrin-masquer-clad knee over the other, he steepled his fingers and did his best to look villainously professional. The masquer looked precisely like the suit it had consumed, a Cavill and Banns original worth the price of a small starfighter. Putting it on was a pain, but the masquer could stop a heavy blaster bolt and was also good at parties.

"So tell me about this project of yours, Miss Wraith. What would you like to know?"

 

[Elanor Wraith]

[member="Willard Jamaane"]

Beep! The recorder began doing what it did best.

"Well, Mister Jamaane," Eleanor began, sinking unity the offered chair with the grace of a young woman with at least a nodding acquaintance with good manners and higher culture. "As you know, I'm a student of Professor Fedik Di'roneo - specifically his Xenocultural Studies class." Professor Di'roneo was an unimaginative, stuffy old thing, and Elanor was only bothering with his class to qualify for her Galactic History degree. Most of her classmates had chosen obvious topics like Wookies, Twi'lek or Rodians. A couple had went with humans, or sought to flatter the Professor by doing their paper on Ceran. Ellie aimed higher. "I'd like to ask you a few questions about how you feel the Yuuzhan Vong fit into the Galaxy, but more importantly, I'd love to get an inside perspective on your cultural heritage and norms." She explained enthusiastically.

"There aren't many Yuuzhan Vong who achieve financial success like you have, to be sure." Elanor flattered. "In fact, most of the Galaxy can only dream of your accomplishments - you're a business mogul, a charming and cultured mainstay of the higher echelons of society - if I may ask, sir, what's your secret?"

 

[Willard Jamaane]

[member="Elanor Wraith"]

He actually knew Di'roneo, through one of the esteemed professor's old teaching assistants, but the link was tenuous and involved recreational pain. So he smiled and nodded.

The smiles and nods continued when she mentioned his exceptional success. Now was not the time to talk about glass ceilings. Nor to name names -- there was Hugh Onimi working R&D for Akure, and the fantastically successful Tionese stockbroker Z.Q. Choka, but neither would appreciate inclusion. Not only because heretics didn't appreciate getting outed (he had no illusions about the mail that poor, longsuffering Marsha would have to have handled if most Yuuzhan Vong were capable of using parcel post), but because neither Hugh Onimi nor Z.Q. Choka would enjoy featuring in the kind of piece a young undergraduate might write. But maybe there was another angle worth taking.

"Well-" One must never blow one's own horn in an obvious way. "-I don't believe I'm any more exceptional that the work I've done. It's actually something of a misnomer to call me that-" Which she hadn't. "-because I'm far from alone. Yuuzhan Vong have a powerful work ethic. It's one of those cultural norms you were asking about. We're raised to be driven and persistent, to plan for our goals, and overcome obstacles and opposition to accomplish those goals. The classic catchphrase is 'do-ro'ik Vong pratte', meaning 'and woe to our enemies'. It's a statement of intent, and it's been used in a lot of contexts, not all of them pleasant. But I really feel that 'do-ro'ik Vong pratte' is more of a lifestyle principle. It's metaphorical." He indulged himself in a chuckle. "I'm in sales, and that can be a cutthroat field. My counterparts in other cybernetics firms can attest that I get...above-average results. In business, in Sabacc, and in life. Not all competition is malevolence. 'Do-ro'ik Vong pratte!'" He chuckled again.

 

[Elanor Wraith]

[member="Willard Jamaane"]

"Do-ro'ik Vong pratte!" Elanor agreed with a convivial grin, making a note on her pad - perhaps a student of history could be forgiven for doing some things the old fashioned way, by making a note with graphite and paper. Even if that note was to look up the proper spelling of 'Do-ro'ik Vong pratte' for her paper. "If I may take the liberty of saying so, sir, many executives often attribute some of their success to a sort of financial phylogenetic principle - it's nice to see that some things overcome cultural barriers." If Darwin had existed, Ellie might have used the term 'Darwinist', but he hadn't, so she worked with what she had. "And that philosophy has certainly worked for you! Your success speaks for itself. 'Not all competition is malevolence', indeed."

Elanor shifted her seating and tilted her head to the side. "Now, it's been said that your success in the financial sector pales in comparison to your presence in the circles of high society. I've personally had the pleasure of attending a lecture I believe you gave on Naboo, regarding the impressionist work of Desin Montery and his migration from the world of art and setpieces to live theater in his twilight years." She explained, her hands moving in an animated fashion. "You're clearly well-read and educated. Would you say that your acumen as a business professional was... enhanced by your cultural studies, or that your wide breadth of knowledge helped you achieve such lofty heights of financial success?"

 

[Willard Jamaane]

[member="Elanor Wraith"]

"Well, I'm not sure I believe in cultural barriers, per se. Take the most extreme elements of Yuuzhan Vong society, if such a thing can be said to exist. Even the extremists are unusually welcoming -- to the myrshavong, for example, or people of any species if they accept a few key elements like escalation. Personally, I'm what you might call a moderate.

"Montery's work is an interest of mine, yes. I was honored that the Naboo Royal Society invited me to present -- I'm hardly an academic or a renaissance man. I simply enjoy learning. I consider myself a student of sentient nature in all its variety, and in my business, cybernetics, there's nothing more important than knowing what people crave and what they need. Much of our work is with military veterans across the galaxy; we provide the highest-quality prosthetics on the market, at the most competitive prices, to soldiers who've been injured while defending their homes and answering the call of duty. I'm not telling you this because I think you'll buy a prosthetic augment, of course; the best answer I can give to your question is this. If you keep an open mind and learn to understand people from all allegiances and all walks of life, you'll understand two opposites are both true. We are all one -- and we are all aliens to each other. My work is about enabling people to overcome distance, by reducing prejudices against veterans and transsentients, and even by allowing people to share their deepest thoughts and feelings in complete privacy, mind to mind and soul to soul. I couldn't do this work if I was anything less than passionate about multiculturalism."

 

[Elanor Wraith]

[member="Willard Jamaane"]

If there was one thing that was going to make this interview difficult for Elanor, it was the sheer amount of excellent soundbites she was getting from Willard. The man was eminently quotable! "I couldn't agree more, sir." She assured him emphatically, leaning forward the slightest bit with her fingers steepled around her pencil. "I've personally always felt - as a student of history - that the boundaries that people put around themselves are, by nature, transitory things to be overcome with understanding and education, and that we all stand only to benefit from cooperation on a Galactic scale." She explained, bright-eyed and eager. "The past has shown us that civilization is what brings the greatest benefit to sentient life, and unity is the force that holds civilization together."

Elanor sat back and focused herself back on the interview before she proved her typical youthful liberalism with unasked proselytizing. "On the topic of multiculturalism, what are your thoughts on the current political climate of the Galaxy?" She inquired curiously. "The Galactic Republic - traditionally a bastion of egalitarianism - has been accused of fomenting conflicts and funding clandestine attacks on smaller factions. With the gradual decline of the Omega Protectorate, reeling from the loss of Corellia, some say that the last true meritocracy in the Galaxy is in it's august years. Can you speak a bit towards your experience and view with these issues, as a student of culture and seasoned executive?"

 

[Willard Jamaane]

[member="Elanor Wraith"]

Here was deep water indeed. iBorg Prosthetic Augments, of course, did business in Republic territory, in One Sith territory, in Levantine Sanctum territory and in the Techno Union. Fortunately, Will's career had long hinged upon the ability to be interesting without actually saying anything. But the incisiveness of the right turn did not escape his notice. Interesting.

"I believe in equality of opportunity," he said. "And I also believe in safety nets. Any mature government has both. You see elements of that in Republic space, in One Sith territory, in the Techno Union and so forth. It's important to remember that even though large portions of the galaxy have been at war for close to seven years now, other parts of the galaxy have been at peace for that long. The Fringe Confederation, the Protectorate to some extent, even the Mandalorian territories in many ways. And for the most part, I find the same pattern I see all throughout history. Change, even painful and vigorous change, brings about beneficial growth in the long term, benefits that outlast the scars. Consider the improvements in starship deflector shield technology, vaccine proliferation, creation of medical response networks like Silver Cross and the Healers' Guild. Consider improvements in processing power, transportation technology -- starships are much faster than they were a decade ago, on average. Or think about the lessons that governments have learned from the tragedies at Alderaan, Ahto City, Donanyd, Druckenwell and Corellia -- lessons in targeting and helping absolutely massive flows of expatriates and significant reconstruction efforts. I don't endorse destruction, but I absolutely believe in the quality of the responses that people and governments have developed in the aftermath of tragedy. And there's a direct correlation between technological improvement and the governments that have engaged actively with the rest of the galaxy. Those that sit at home..." He shrugged eloquently.