We all do this play by post rp for various reasons whether it be to improve our writing, escapism, or social engagement. Honestly over the years I have both loved and hated this game we all play together. I have left saying I would never come back but I always come back. The things that frustrate me still remain, but I have learned over the years to let them go to some degree.
I have been hated by many, some of it deserved, and I have been liked by many not so deserved. I have regrets for things I have said and have done in these communities. I also have pride in things I have said and done.
I my youth I was very blunt, and I did not hold back when I thought something was wrong, I was wronged, or a friend was wronged. It's a little funny, in the dark ages I was often labeled an anarchist and rebel because of how scorched earth I would go to condemn something I saw as wrong. Funny cause my main character at the time was exactly the same IC. Yet in real life outside the internet, I was the quiet guy who would rather not be seen or heard.
Yet on the internet I was a loudmouth sometimes a straight up a-hole. I still can be when the right cord is struck. Though I have mostly learned to deal with my frustrations in different ways these days. Weather that be just taking longer breaks, avoiding the things that annoy me for a time, or venting to people I think I can trust just to have someone to talk to and tell me I am being dumb.
That's the thing though I have put my trust in the wrong people before. People I thought were my friends, people who I thought I could confide in. That out and out betrayed that trust for their own gain or ego. In those moments where I confided in them, I said things in the heat of the moment. In moments after what was frustrating me took place. Because I needed someone to listen, even point out the flaws in my logic with what had happened or the points that might be correct.
A way to process and help me think through what I was really frustrated with. A way to vent and process. Over half the time you find out what you are mad about is minor, silly, or just plain stupid. You even regret some of the things you were thinking or said in the moment.
We are human we say things that are dumb, regretful, and ignorant in the thick of it. We expect those we trust to understand that, even call us out on it in private. Yet sometimes we put the trust in the wrong people and instead of understanding that we are frustrated in the moment or calling it out to us in private to show us the error before we do something more stupid. They go screaming to the hills to convince others you are a horrible person or on their side of terrible idea. Whatever serves their purpose and benefits them the most.
You were just frustrated in a moment, something that in days or weeks you would have been over and moved on. Now you are embroiled in some drama, or shunned because something you said when you weren't in the right headspace but just need someone to talk to.
In my years I have been burned, shunned, and hated some of it through my own doing, some of it through trusting the wrong people who wanted to use me for their own gain. We all get frustrated or annoyed and we just need someone to talk to but finding the people to trust is the hardest part.
I have learned through the years that bottling things up, holding them in only causes problems in the long term. You will explode eventually and just go scorched earth on wrongs and perceived wrongs. You need the people you can talk to about the silly crap bothering you. I am so glad I have met a few people who can tell me I am being dumb or looking at something wrong. It gets me out of my own head that can be so angry sometimes.
It's hard to find those people if I am honest.
My point is we all say stupid shit in frustration; we all do stupid things we later regret. We have all felt hurt or slighted over things that in hindsight didn't really matter. So be kind to your fellow rper, know they are humans and said stupid crap just like you and have vented to people they thought they could trust. When that person they trusted comes to you and says they said this they are often doing it for their benefit not yours or the person that trusted them. There are only a few times in my years where this wasn't the case and those where serious issues involving self-harm most of the time it's just stupid rp stuff that won't matter in a week.
Now to not end this on downer also because I am really a dumb idiot on the internet. I am going to divulge secret, despite the storms I have weathered, despite the people I have fought with both IC & OOC. SWRP has been a better part of my life and for all those who may think I hate them or have some beef with them. I don't, time heals all wounds, and I don't hold grunges sometimes it takes time to let go but I always eventually let go. I love this community even if sometimes it frustrates the hell out of me.
I have been hated by many, some of it deserved, and I have been liked by many not so deserved. I have regrets for things I have said and have done in these communities. I also have pride in things I have said and done.
I my youth I was very blunt, and I did not hold back when I thought something was wrong, I was wronged, or a friend was wronged. It's a little funny, in the dark ages I was often labeled an anarchist and rebel because of how scorched earth I would go to condemn something I saw as wrong. Funny cause my main character at the time was exactly the same IC. Yet in real life outside the internet, I was the quiet guy who would rather not be seen or heard.
Yet on the internet I was a loudmouth sometimes a straight up a-hole. I still can be when the right cord is struck. Though I have mostly learned to deal with my frustrations in different ways these days. Weather that be just taking longer breaks, avoiding the things that annoy me for a time, or venting to people I think I can trust just to have someone to talk to and tell me I am being dumb.
That's the thing though I have put my trust in the wrong people before. People I thought were my friends, people who I thought I could confide in. That out and out betrayed that trust for their own gain or ego. In those moments where I confided in them, I said things in the heat of the moment. In moments after what was frustrating me took place. Because I needed someone to listen, even point out the flaws in my logic with what had happened or the points that might be correct.
A way to process and help me think through what I was really frustrated with. A way to vent and process. Over half the time you find out what you are mad about is minor, silly, or just plain stupid. You even regret some of the things you were thinking or said in the moment.
We are human we say things that are dumb, regretful, and ignorant in the thick of it. We expect those we trust to understand that, even call us out on it in private. Yet sometimes we put the trust in the wrong people and instead of understanding that we are frustrated in the moment or calling it out to us in private to show us the error before we do something more stupid. They go screaming to the hills to convince others you are a horrible person or on their side of terrible idea. Whatever serves their purpose and benefits them the most.
You were just frustrated in a moment, something that in days or weeks you would have been over and moved on. Now you are embroiled in some drama, or shunned because something you said when you weren't in the right headspace but just need someone to talk to.
In my years I have been burned, shunned, and hated some of it through my own doing, some of it through trusting the wrong people who wanted to use me for their own gain. We all get frustrated or annoyed and we just need someone to talk to but finding the people to trust is the hardest part.
I have learned through the years that bottling things up, holding them in only causes problems in the long term. You will explode eventually and just go scorched earth on wrongs and perceived wrongs. You need the people you can talk to about the silly crap bothering you. I am so glad I have met a few people who can tell me I am being dumb or looking at something wrong. It gets me out of my own head that can be so angry sometimes.
It's hard to find those people if I am honest.
My point is we all say stupid shit in frustration; we all do stupid things we later regret. We have all felt hurt or slighted over things that in hindsight didn't really matter. So be kind to your fellow rper, know they are humans and said stupid crap just like you and have vented to people they thought they could trust. When that person they trusted comes to you and says they said this they are often doing it for their benefit not yours or the person that trusted them. There are only a few times in my years where this wasn't the case and those where serious issues involving self-harm most of the time it's just stupid rp stuff that won't matter in a week.
Now to not end this on downer also because I am really a dumb idiot on the internet. I am going to divulge secret, despite the storms I have weathered, despite the people I have fought with both IC & OOC. SWRP has been a better part of my life and for all those who may think I hate them or have some beef with them. I don't, time heals all wounds, and I don't hold grunges sometimes it takes time to let go but I always eventually let go. I love this community even if sometimes it frustrates the hell out of me.
