The apartment was quiet save for the rapping and tapping of the rain which constantly fell on Dromund Kaas. It had been the one sound Aerik had to filter out the fastest because of his sensitive hearing. The noises from the city were not nearly as aggravating as the repetitive cadence of the storm.
His mind wandered.
Aerik found himself lost in recent events. For the first time since learning the truth of what happened on Brosi, he had the space to evaluate his own thoughts and emotions on the matter. It was difficult to accept that he had lost control and hurt Irina. She had been his first true friend at the academy. Skadi had witnessed it and had even been the one to help Torvald stop him from killing the girl.
They had lied to him.
When he asked what happened, they did not give him an answer. Aerik knew he had been hurt. The scar adorned his face from the first memory he could recall from the aftermath. He had been in pain for some time as the wound had needed time to heal beneath the surface. Irina and Skadi withheld the truth, and while that was not the same as fabricating something false, it had still been dishonest.
They had lied to him.
His mind had reconciled that, even if it still hurt. Aerik made them both promise to be honest with him moving forward. It did not settle everything, but it settled enough.
Quinn was harder.
The distance she had insisted on keeping between them since learning of the injury, and seeing where it settled on his jaw, was something he could not make sense of.
He could still feel her touch. It had been different from the night they had danced together at a gala hosted by the High Republic. She had used him, and yet the dance they had shared had been a genuine display of the affection they carried for one another. He still was unaware that she had been seeking the attention of another. It would not have mattered to him.
A hand reached for the scar.
Her touch that night had been something more intimate. It had not been romantic, but it had expressed a depth of care she had never shown him before. Quinn may not have loved him in the way he wanted, but she loved him nonetheless.
That was why this distance hurt.
As with the others, she had told him it was her duty to protect him. She was his teacher. He cringed at the memory. Nothing she said had been untrue, but that did not make it easier to accept.
Irina may have been his longest friend. They had known each other longer than anyone else at the academy. Even so, Aerik had always known the truth.
In his heart, he had loved Quinn first.
"There is a lot to me, Aerik, and I do not expect you to understand. I will not push you away, but you need to ask your father. If anyone knows why, he does. He will give you the same warning I am giving you now."
He replayed her words, along with the warning.
"It is the only way you will understand."
Aerik walked to his desk and activated the holodevice. He could not stand face to face with his father, but he could at least have the conversation in person. He only hoped the call would go through.
He swallowed when the image resolved.
Gerwald Lechner appeared.
“Aerik.”
“Father.”
“The Mountain has given you a reprieve, I take it?”
Aerik let out a quiet chuckle. It was an awkward subject, his master, especially when Gerwald chose that name. There was always intent behind it.
“For today.”
“It has been a while. The scar suits you.”
He nodded. It was as close to a compliment as he would receive on a call that neither of them could guarantee was secure.
“Thank you, but I did not call to exchange small talk. I need… advice.”
Silence lingered, so Aerik continued.
“Quinn Varanin.”
Gerwald nearly laughed and shook his head.
“I have seen the way you look at her. She used to tell me you filled your papers with her name during lessons. You have carried that for a long time. Though… are you not involved with my apprentice?”
Aerik was silent.
“Come now, boy. I was your age once. Avoid sisters. That will not end well.”
“Dad. This is serious. Before Brosi we shared a moment, and I thought we had come to some sort of understanding. She saw the scar. It just happens to be where she touched my face that night. Since then, she has been distant. More than she ever has been before.”
Gerwald was quiet for a time. His brow knit as he considered it.
“You should let her.”
“She told me to ask you why.”
Gerwald exhaled.
“I watched her grow up. She is… when people get too close, things tend to break. If I were to guess, she believes your scar is her fault. Whether that is true does not matter if that is the story she is telling herself. That belief will shape what she does.”
“How am I supposed to let that stand?”
Gerwald leaned back slightly.
“I loved an Echani once. I still do, in a manner of speaking. I never told you that.”
Aerik shook his head.
“It is not an easy thing, loving someone in a way they cannot return. Sometimes they may even want to, but something else holds them to a different path. I have always loved your mother. That has never changed. It never will.”
He let that sit.
“You will love more than one person in a lifetime. Each time it will be different.”
Aerik took that in.
“How did you deal with it?”
“Duty binds me to the Empress. Love and loyalty bind me to your mother. You learn where each belongs. It is not easy. It is necessary.”
Aerik nodded. He understood.
“Aerik,” Gerwald added, quieter now, “she is dangerous.”
He nodded again and ended the call.
It was not the answer he wanted, but it was the only one he had.
Quinn was dangerous, and he needed to stay away from her.
Aerik stared ahead, the weight of that warning settling in.
How in the nether was he going to do that?
