02.14 hrs, local time
Adelle still felt the distant heat of the fires in her skin, still heard the echo of screams, as she jerked awake. Her skin still prickled with terror and it took a while for her to bring her heartrate down, hands gripping the sweat-soaked sheets. Na'an would have been awake in her bunk, silent and waiting for Adelle to finally share the burden she so obviously struggled to carry. Leigh might have been waiting in the galley, caf already brewing, or in the cockpit, just as quiet and far more patient than her smaller human companion.
But that had been before the planeshift.
The apartment she'd settled into in Mandalorian space was small but felt large and empty for the absence of what family she'd had after leaving her Jedi Order. The chronometer next to her bed projected the time in dim red above the device, casting a sanguine light over everything it touched. Adelle threw off the blankets and got out of bed, retreating from her room. The light reminded her too much of the sea of blood that sometimes haunted her nightmares.
The rest of the one room apartment was spartan in its furnishings, vague shapes and shadows in the dark of the night. It was just enough to make it comfortable enough Adelle wouldn't feel bad about having visitors. Not that she ever did. Adelle headed to the galley and pressed a couple buttons on the caf machine, before grabbing a mug and putting it below the spigot. She folded her arms over her chest, staring at the black liquid that sputtered and poured out into the cup. It had been a week. And she still had a week left to go for her placebo phase. Her last check-in with the doctor had shown that there were no changes needed; the sedatives were working and more importantly, Adelle was neither building an intolerance to them nor showed signs of addiction.
But nights like this, it was a battle to not reach for the needle and its familiar sting.
She'd had nightmares of Coruscant. Again. Always. A short period in her life that had felt like eternity. Adelle still didn't know how long she'd been trapped in Krayt's stronghold. Not that it mattered. She had achieved nothing.
The caf machine sputtered out as it finished brewing the cup of bitter liquid Adelle wanted. Strong, scalding--pain to remind herself she was no longer caged in armor and a mask. Adelle winced as she sipped at it then set it aside and pulled out her datapad, playing the list of music files to add sound to the apartment. The silence was deafening and far, far too close to memory.
Once, Adelle had mentioned how bad the nightmares got during the placebo weeks to the doctor. Psychologist. Whoever. They'd suggested a service animal to help: not only would the trained animal help calm her down better after the nightmares than her current failed self-soothing, it could also bring her out of the PTSD attacks memnii caused. The right one could even alert her to and keep her from slipping into her fugue state episodes. It had sounded too good to be true.
The faces of the dead flashed behind her eyelids every time she closed them. Maybe now was a good time to try and see if a service animal could help.
She didn't exactly have the best track record with working with animals. It was worse than her track record with bars.
~~~
An accredited service animal trainer had been able to take her case on and make an appointment only two days later. Adelle showed up looking only a little worse for wear, surviving off of caf, stims, and the occasional alcoholic beverage. The Zeltron had welcomed her in with a smile, the small office carefully created to be welcoming and comforting. The pheromones probably also helped.
"So I've looked over your medical file your psychiatrist sent me," the Zeltron said, pulling a tea tray out of a cabinet and setting it down on the table between the two chairs. The teapot was already steaming. They had been prepared. "I think we can find a service animal best suited to your needs."
"I live a very . . . nomadic lifestyle," Adelle said. "And I don't have any outdoor space to speak of."
"Okay, so no bassa hounds or anooba, that's not a problem. We have several small animals that would do very well with that." They pulled a slim datapad out from somewhere and placed it down in front of Adelle, pictures of the animals on the screen. "We have nobaki rats, ferbils, a few durni, tookas . . . Any one that catches your eye, we can have you meet them here first."
Adelle scrolled through the pictures, reading the profiles written beside them. Rodents seemed too small, reptiles gave her the creeps. The durni seemed high maintenance. Tookas, she could do but her track record with animals left her uncertain as to whether or not she'd get along with them. A picture of two copper eyes staring up out of a black void at the end of the list caught her eye. A spukami. Adelle remembered seeing them in Coronet City: her mother had always spoke fondly of them while her father insisted they were too smart and stubborn to be a good pet in their house. This one was nicknamed "Spooky" and the profile indicated she'd been there a while. Longer than the others.
"What's up with the spukami?" Adelle asked. The Zeltron paused pouring the tea to look at the datapad.
"Oh Spooky! She's . . . a bit tempermental and hasn't got on well with previous clients," the trainer admitted, continuing to pour the tea into teacups. They set a cup down in front of Adelle. "She's fully trained but, well, typical of her species, she doesn't always listen to commands when it's necessary. Which, in our line of work, isn't ideal for our clients. I've been thinking of retiring her and adopting her out as just a pet."
"I've been around spukami. Used to live--" briefly "--in Coronet City and they were fairly common pets. D'you think I could meet her?"
The Zeltron gave a thoughtful hum and sipped her tea. "Based on what I've seen in your file, it doesn't seem like she'd need to be able to perform in life or death situations but regarding your fugue states, I wonder if she'd be able to consistently bring you back. Why don't we try a few others and we'll put Spooky on the list for you to meet?"
Adelle nodded. The assessment was fair. It would be nice to have a reminder of a place that had, however short it had been, felt like home. But her health and the safety of others had to take priority.
~~~
The Tooka hissed as the Zeltron carried it out of the room, the door sliding shut behind them. Adelle sighed and reached for her cup of tea. She'd tried a couple durni, a nobaki rat just to see, and several tookas--one of which was a Loth-cat that reminded her of the one that used to prowl Karre Noba's farm. Her luck with animals held: not one of them were great or even good fits for her, personality-wise. The nobaki--a little pest named Charley--even bit her finger.
Which just left Spooky, the misfit.
Figures.
The door slid open again and the Zeltron entered empty-handed. They stepped aside and let a tiny black feline saunter in, tail held high. So this was Spooky. Adelle turned and held out a hand in front of her, trying like she did with the tookas. Spooky looked at the hand, sniffed once in her direction, and sat with a slow blink. Well it wasn't the warmest reception Adelle had but it was far from the worst. Adelle reached out with the Force like she did with the others.
<<I need help.>> From experience, any interactions she had with the spukami would only be felt as impressions and emotions, nothing so clear cut as articulate thought.
Spooky twitched an ear, a self-assuredness emanating from the feline. <<I can tell. You need a lot of help.>>
Adelle blinked and slowly sat up, amusement and confusion mixing with no small amount of shock. An animal that actually reacted positively to her use of the Force. This was already going better than all the other interactions. Adelle reached for her teacup as Spooky leapt up to the table, sniffing around and sniffing at Adelle a couple times.
"Hello there," Adelle said softly, once again holding her free hand out to Spooky. This time Spooky sniffed it more intently, no doubt smelling all the places she'd been.
<<You're afraid. Often.>>
<<Yes.>>
Spooky left off sniffing at her hand and walked to the edge of the table, sniffing the air around her. <<There's more.>>
<<Yes.>> Adelle brought her hand around to gently stroke her fingers between the spukami's ears. <<And there are times something else is me. It's dangerous.>>
Spooky's tail twitched even as she leaned into the petting. <<More. Behind the ears.>>
Adelle adjusted accordingly and Spooky started to purr loudly. It was an incredibly soothing sound. "Hey there, you like that, huh?" <<Can you help?>>
Spooky rubbed her head against Adelle's hand firmly. <<Of course I can. Keep petting.>>
"What would be next steps?" Adelle asked the Zeltron, barely above a whisper as if speaking louder would break the spell.
The Zeltron sipped from their teacup, eyes never leaving the spukami. "You fill out some paperwork, we give you a list of the basics you'll need and comcodes for support, and then . . . off you go. If there's any problems, you call us and we'll send someone to collect her."
Adelle looked back at the small feline with copper eyes half-closed. "Okay. What do I need to sign?" <<They call you Spooky here.>>
A brief glare was sent her way before Spooky melted back into being pet. <<Ew.>>
<<What should I call you?>>
<<Anything else.>>
"What do you think?" Adelle said quietly to the spukami. "Think you can help me out?"
The Zeltron pulled out a seperate datapad as slim as the first and pulled up a couple files, highlighting where she needed to sign and initial. As Adelle dutifully went through the files, the feline crawled into her lap and curled up, pressing her small body against Adelle's stomach. She could feel the vibrations in her body from the purring.
<<Don't call me something stupid.>> The impression flickered through Adelle's mind. She had to smile.
<<Okay. Phantom.>>
