Padawan Menace
A nine year old walks in, carrying a soap box.
Setting the soap box down, the small boy steps on top of it before he addresses his audience.
Thank you for atten... addend... Thank you for coming to support this topic. As you may know, there has recently been some prop... pree-po-ganda spread around the playground that might confuse you as to the different types of Jedi that there are.
Your attention is appreciated. Please hold your questions until the end. Thank you.
Subclasses of Jedi Guardian:
• Exotic Weapons Specialist: These were Guardians who honed their skills with a variatey of weapons for use in smacking Sith in the face, not just lightsabers.
• Lightsaber Instructors: These were Guardians who were the masters of the Art of Smacking Sith in the Face with Lightsabers, passing on these important and awesome traditions to the next generation.
• Jedi Ace: These were Jedi Guardians who didn't wait for the Sith to come to them, they flew starfighters up to go smack Sith in the face with lightsabers!
• Jedi Peacekeepers: Jedi. Crime. Fighters. I rest my case.
Examples from Chaos: Jedi Master [member="Ryan Korr"], Jedi Knight [member="Varus Shatterstar"]
To avoid confusion, it's important to point out here that the Jedi Guardian is THE Jedi.
The recent message about other classes of Jedi may have confused you as to what is, and what isn't, a Jedi. Below are just a few examples of things that are commonly misconstrued as being Jedi.
But they aren't.
Jedi Wannabes, also known as Jedi Sentinels, are the kid that just doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. They're cool, unlike Jedi Nerds, but they just aren't Guardians and they can't understand why.
Subclasses of Jedi Wannabes:
• Jedi Shadow: No one knows what these Jedi do. Not even them.
• Jedi Guardian Wannabe: These Wannabes try to be like Guardians, but they just aren't cool like that.
• Jedi Nerd Wannabe: These Wannabes actually try to be like Nerds, but they're too cool.
Examples from Chaos: Master [member="Kian Karr"]
This is a travesty that should never be allowed to happen. To start with, some of these so called "Jedi" actually try to be Healers. I mean, who joins the Jedi to play doctor? Some of them even argue against ever using a lightsaber. This should tell you right away that these aren't actually Jedi, because real Jedi know that lightsabers are awesome.
Subclasses of Jedi Nerd
• Jedi That Read Too Much: Can usually be found in the Temple Library. Rarely, if ever, leaves it.
• Jedi That Talk Too Much: Can usually be found talking. Never about anything interesting.
• Jedi That... We Actually Don't Know What They Do, They Just Meditate ALL. THE. TIME.
Examples from Chaos: Jedi Padawan [member="Uri Aureleos"]
AND NOW A WORD ABOUT THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE.
The Girl Jedi is the Real Jedi's mortal enemy, and a Dark Side spy inside of any organization in which they can be found. Some traits common to Girl Jedi include, but are not limited to: Fruit scented shampoo, fruit scented body lotion, fruit scented hand sanitizer...
In general, they smell like fruit.
If you're in Cloud City on Bespin and suddenly smell perfume, it's probably already too late for you.
Subclasses of Girl Jedi:
• Super Irritating Terrible Hags (S.I.T.H.): These Girl Jedi specialize in manipulation, and are believed to have been responsible for the creation of the Cooties Virus sometime before the formation of the Galactic Republic.
• Girl Guardians: These Girl Jedi think they're Boy Jedi. At best, they try and play with you. At worst, they try to bully you. May also be prone to fits of Dark Side Rage if you don't notice their new haircut, which is nearly identical to their last hair cut. Who pays attention to hair cuts anyway?
Examples from Chaos: [member="Seraphina Shel'tah"], [member="Megan Rhymes"]
This con... concludes our lecture for today.
Thank you for your attention and hopefully this has helped to dispel some of your misconceptions about Jedi.
Setting the soap box down, the small boy steps on top of it before he addresses his audience.
Thank you for atten... addend... Thank you for coming to support this topic. As you may know, there has recently been some prop... pree-po-ganda spread around the playground that might confuse you as to the different types of Jedi that there are.
Your attention is appreciated. Please hold your questions until the end. Thank you.
---
J E D I G U A R D I A N S
Note the blue lightsaber. Its the only color a Guardian should ever use.
The Jedi Guardian's skills and talents were in battle. They specialized in smacking Sith in the face with lightsabers, and engaged in other such awesome activities. Those Guardians who were the true Bro Pros wielded a blue lightsaber to symbolize this path (yes, this is necessary. And it is AWESOME!) The sorts of Jedi who focus on this path are those wishing to hone their skills with a lghtsaber, those interested in smacking Sith in the face with lightsabers, and those wishing to be awesome.Subclasses of Jedi Guardian:
• Exotic Weapons Specialist: These were Guardians who honed their skills with a variatey of weapons for use in smacking Sith in the face, not just lightsabers.
• Lightsaber Instructors: These were Guardians who were the masters of the Art of Smacking Sith in the Face with Lightsabers, passing on these important and awesome traditions to the next generation.
• Jedi Ace: These were Jedi Guardians who didn't wait for the Sith to come to them, they flew starfighters up to go smack Sith in the face with lightsabers!
• Jedi Peacekeepers: Jedi. Crime. Fighters. I rest my case.
Examples from Chaos: Jedi Master [member="Ryan Korr"], Jedi Knight [member="Varus Shatterstar"]
---
To avoid confusion, it's important to point out here that the Jedi Guardian is THE Jedi.
The recent message about other classes of Jedi may have confused you as to what is, and what isn't, a Jedi. Below are just a few examples of things that are commonly misconstrued as being Jedi.
But they aren't.
J E D I W A N N A B E
(sentinelus wannabeus)
These brahs are definitely wishing there was a Jedi Guardian around right now.
Note the incorrect use of pink as a lightsaber color as well.
Jedi Wannabes, also known as Jedi Sentinels, are the kid that just doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. They're cool, unlike Jedi Nerds, but they just aren't Guardians and they can't understand why.
Subclasses of Jedi Wannabes:
• Jedi Shadow: No one knows what these Jedi do. Not even them.
• Jedi Guardian Wannabe: These Wannabes try to be like Guardians, but they just aren't cool like that.
• Jedi Nerd Wannabe: These Wannabes actually try to be like Nerds, but they're too cool.
Examples from Chaos: Master [member="Kian Karr"]
J E D I N E R D
(consulari lame-o)
Note that use of green and that some don't even use lightsabers.
The lack of a lightsaber should always be your first indicator that you're not dealing with a real Jedi.
This is a travesty that should never be allowed to happen. To start with, some of these so called "Jedi" actually try to be Healers. I mean, who joins the Jedi to play doctor? Some of them even argue against ever using a lightsaber. This should tell you right away that these aren't actually Jedi, because real Jedi know that lightsabers are awesome.
Subclasses of Jedi Nerd
• Jedi That Read Too Much: Can usually be found in the Temple Library. Rarely, if ever, leaves it.
• Jedi That Talk Too Much: Can usually be found talking. Never about anything interesting.
• Jedi That... We Actually Don't Know What They Do, They Just Meditate ALL. THE. TIME.
Examples from Chaos: Jedi Padawan [member="Uri Aureleos"]
---
AND NOW A WORD ABOUT THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE.
GIRL JEDI
(cooties darksideus)
The Girl Jedi is the Real Jedi's mortal enemy, and a Dark Side spy inside of any organization in which they can be found. Some traits common to Girl Jedi include, but are not limited to: Fruit scented shampoo, fruit scented body lotion, fruit scented hand sanitizer...
In general, they smell like fruit.
If you're in Cloud City on Bespin and suddenly smell perfume, it's probably already too late for you.
Subclasses of Girl Jedi:
• Super Irritating Terrible Hags (S.I.T.H.): These Girl Jedi specialize in manipulation, and are believed to have been responsible for the creation of the Cooties Virus sometime before the formation of the Galactic Republic.
• Girl Guardians: These Girl Jedi think they're Boy Jedi. At best, they try and play with you. At worst, they try to bully you. May also be prone to fits of Dark Side Rage if you don't notice their new haircut, which is nearly identical to their last hair cut. Who pays attention to hair cuts anyway?
Examples from Chaos: [member="Seraphina Shel'tah"], [member="Megan Rhymes"]
---
This con... concludes our lecture for today.
Thank you for your attention and hopefully this has helped to dispel some of your misconceptions about Jedi.