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What are some of the weirdest things you thought when you were a kid? I have a number of them but one of my favorites was what I thought tofu was. As a child I thought tofu was cut from giant, tree-sized mushrooms.
Another of mine: I remember I used to think that...no other way of putting this...babies came out of the butt. This all changed when I had my Elementary school sex ed lesson; 4th or 5th grade I think?
I used to believe my dog would eat my homework if I rubbed his food all over it. Needless to say my teacher got a lot of homework that smelled like dog food.
When I was a little little kid I went to a preschool where we had "Nap Time". It was just a twenty minute or so break where they got out cots and we could take naps. At that age I was using a stuffed animal that was a Buffalo. Well, for some reason, I brought another that day. The Buffalo and a mini dog. Well I went to grab both of them but the teacher said it was time to return to your cots. So I didn't have enough time to grab the Buffalo. I no joke layed down there and for the next 20 minutes tried to use the force to bring the Buffalo to me. Good times
As a kid I heard the phrase "The birds and the bees." While many know it as a code phrase for sexual actions, as a kid, it made me think that the birds and bees got together and "had fun" instead of it being a code word for humans.
So me, 10 years old, knows well enough about sex, and the actions that take place, but takes the code phrase for parents teaching kids about sex, way too literal, that the birds and bees could get it on.
When I was about 5 or so, my older brother convinced me that I was a space alien. He told me that I had to spend five minutes a day looking up at the sky for the spaceship, which would take me home. I was terrified of doing this because I didn't want the spaceship to take me away, but he assured me that he would know if I didn't do it.
I had an uncle who once told me that Samoan people eat the Japanese people they catch swimming too close to their island. I think I believed him until my first year in High School.
Like most kids, I took anything anyone told me literally. (or maybe it was just me)
When I was 6 or 7 maybe, my dad told me that ice cream cones were made out of sh*t.
And so I believed him for a few years, I still have trouble eating them. But it always makes me think of my dad (who has passed) with a smile.
I was not one to ever follow the crowd. Something had to make sense to me or I didn’t do it or even pretend to like it. While all the conehead elementary grade kids were sitting around on the floor laughing at Rocky and Bullwinkle Political Cartoons that we’re written well over their heads, I was sitting there perplexed as crap wondering what the hell they were laughing at, because none of it made any sense to me. I thought I was dumb.
When I realized how people fall in line without asking questions, the world became easier to understand. It took decades to get a clue that it’s not my problem and I’m still never in line just because it’s there. I laugh at the Rocky and Bullwinkle irony today.
PS. Some Cartoons were intellectually themed so parents wouldn’t be bored with the program, and their conehead kids would still be captivated by the imagery. In the 90’s a group of Hollywood actresses got the classics banned for content.