Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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The Future, Revamp

Aright so I figured I would put this here to see what you guys have to say about the adjustments I have made. The initial sub was denied on concepts I was never given the chance to rebuttal. I have made some significant additions to the description in order to hopefully avoid such a misunderstanding again and I would like you guys to help me fine tune it so that it will fit into the requirements given here:
Howdy.

So, I'm not gonna beat around the bush here: I'm going to have to deny this submission. I'll get around to the detailed reasons in a moment, but the tl;dr version is that, in order to make it balanced for RP, we'd have to alter it so drastically that you'd be better off making a new submission altogether. If you'd like to request a second chance, you are, of course, welcome to do so.

The primary issue is that, within the projector's field of influence, you've basically made yourself a god. You've got a body that's vulnerable only to a very specific weapon type. You can, so long as you remain within the range of the projector, effectively teleport simply by projecting yourself to a different spot. There's no limit on the size or the shape of your projection, meaning you can create all manner of weapons and constructs, constrained only by the limits of the field. And since you can carry the projector itself, those constraints are effectively meaningless.

The problem isn't the technology, though it comes from fringe canon at best, the problem is that there's no way to use it as it stands and make it fair for RP.

If you wish to try something along these lines in the future, I've a few suggestions.
  • Drastically limit the range of the projection. Freedom of movement is one thing, but five meters is excessive.
  • Find a way to prevent anything that could be construed as teleportation within the effective range. Perhaps a cooldown would suffice.
  • Find a way to make the body vulnerable to conventional damage. Protection is one thing, invincibility quite another.
  • Limit the projection so there's no chance of improvising weaponry on the fly. You're a droid, not the Green Lantern.
  • Balance, balance, balance. Even with the stuff listed above, this is still an extremely potent technology, and it simply won't work without corresponding weaknesses. So come up with some that'll genuinely effect how it functions in combat, that'll give anyone who has to face it in battle a fighting chance, and we can work with you.
Sorry things didn't work out this time, and for what it's worth, I wish you luck in future endeavors.

With that out of the way, here is the next body of Ultimatum.

[SIZE=12pt]OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Intent:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] A droid body for Ultimatum's work with the Metal Lords[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Image Source: [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]N/A[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Canon Link: [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]Proof of Tech[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Restricted Missions:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] N/A[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Primary Source: [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]N/A[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]PRODUCTION INFORMATION[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Manufacturer:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] LOOM[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Model:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] N/A[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Production: Unique[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Affiliation:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Ultimatum[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Modularity:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] No[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Material: [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]Aurodium, Alzoc Pearl, Bondite, Vonium, Desh, Diatium[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]SPECIAL FEATURES[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Projector can create a body anywhere within a two meter radius and maintain projection up to three meters[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Strengths[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]:[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Long batterylife[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Projector is intended to appear like a trinket or ornament[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Weaknesses[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]:[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Projector is vulnerable to most weapons[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Ionic weapons pass directly through projected body[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Ionic weapons cause the body to be non-physical for several seconds[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Projected body is highly visible[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Projection must be in line of sight of Projector[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=12pt]Sudden change in distance between Projection and Projector cause immediate shut down[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]DESCRIPTION[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]The Future was created to be a proof of further technological advancements made in holo technology. The concept of physical holograms was quiet ancient, along with the idea of a small projector allowing a hologram to move about freely. The combination of the two forms of technology is intended to act as a new body for Ultimatum's AI.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]The projector is constructed with an aurodium and Alzoc pearl covering in order to conceal its purpose on the battlefield. This does not provide any significant protection against weapons or damage. It would take little more than a weak blaster bolt or something of that ilk to melt the entire device and end the projection. With advanced processors and components, the device has been reduced to a size comparable to a standard lightsaber hilt. The projector itself is powered by an overly large Diatium battery, the unit is capable of going for a long time without replacement or recharging.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]The projection is the slightly darker blue variant of the standard hologram appearance. Rather than being an incorporeal image, the projection is a physical hologram that can interact with the rest of the physical world. Stronger than a human, but nowhere near as strong as his droid bodies. The body is most unfazed by conventional weapons, a strike from a blaster bolt will cause loss of physicality for a moment. However, ionic weapons can pass directly through the body and interfere with the hologram for several seconds. When the hologram is disrupted it will often become a simple image that can be passed through and cannot interact with the environment for some time. As the projected technology is still rather limited in range, the body projected must start within a two meter range and can then proceed to walk (or in some way physically traverse the distance) to a three meter maximum range from the projector, initial start up must be within direct line of sight of the projector, the projection can then proceed to move around corners out of line of sight so long as it remains in range of the projector. The projected body can hold the projector to allow free movement, however it obviously cannot start the projection. It must be turned on by someone else.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]The projector has been preprogrammed to project a single physical image, that of Ultimatum. The projector is incapable of creating new images beyond the single one, thus requiring Ultimatum to utilize weapons from elsewhere to aid in combat. The projector, upon initial startup, creates the image of Ultimatum within a random point within the two meter line of sight. This projection must then walk in order to move through the environment, if the projection attempts to leave the radius of projection the physicality will fade and the image will be pulled back into range. If the projector moves slowly away from the projection then the image is pulled along and suffers the same loss of physicality. If the projector or projection is rapidly removed from the other then the projector turns off automatically, ending the projection.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]
[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]I'm still going over the submission and making some minor adjustments, but I welcome what anyone has to say about better making this work. Thanks all for you time.[/SIZE]
 

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