Setting a Foundation

[Jairdain]

Jairdain had found her way back to the Silver Jedi not long ago, but still had yet to find her place there. She was no longer a simple padawan, but a knight now. Though life was an ongoing process of learning, so if there was a lesson she was interested in, she would attend. There was no lesson going on at the moment so she sat meditating in one of the chambers off the hallway leading to the training areas.

The door was open and she would welcome company if somebody decided to join her.

Around her was an aura of peace and tranquility that for one so young might appear odd. In her almost nineteen years, she had faced her own mortality a few times and came out stronger for it each time. This day, she meditated on her own life and the emotions she felt through her trials. The pain and sorrow as well as the triumph after.

She wore her normal robes, but since Jairdain had no plans to venture outside, her cloak was not there. Though she could not see with her eyes, they were closed out of habit while meditating. In the distance, she could sense those around her and intuition told her one would stop by and investigate the young, lone Jedi meditating by herself.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Yuroic decided to head to the training area to give another attempt at using the Force, which at this point was elusive to him. He was told he was connected but he repeatedly found it difficult, nigh on impossible to call upon it on will. His frustration was starting to pour out whenever he was training, he would then get more worked up upon being easily worked up which lead him to lashing out, using the Force in anger. Something he was repeatedly warned not to do.

He walks in on another Jedi meditating, he took a deep breath and looked over her. She seemed to have an air of calm from her, younger than he was but not by much. He blinked as he could also sense strength being emitted from her, strength greater than his own. Yuroic swallowed as he coughed slightly.

Apologies for disturbing your meditation.

Yuroic then shook himself straight, he was freshly washed, shaven and wearing clean Padawan robes. His entire look was very different from when he first entered, a mess of a person, clothes filthy and he hadn't cleaned for days, it had taken awhile to smell clean after he found the clean water in the Temple.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Her intuition had been correct and as the young man entered the room, she came out of her meditation. Her eyes opened to reveal they were violet.

"Please come in."

Jairdain started to stand up, but decided to keep it to more of a small bow than actually coming fully to her feet. She made a motion with a hand to indicate he could take a seat on the floor with her or any of the chairs provided.

"I'm Jairdain Ismet."

She said this with a welcoming smile and if he was at all empathic would feel she really wanted his company there.

"You can call me Jairdain or Jera, I'm known as both."

Though she could not see with her physical eyes, she could with the Force and looked in his direction. He had not yet said his name, but she wasn't going to ask.

She could tell he was new to the Force, he abilities raw and untrained. With the right guidance though, he could learn. In fact, meditation was a foundation. If he could learn how to do that, it would strengthen his connection and he could learn control.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

He watched as he saw her rise somewhat and then offer him to join her, he shrugged not knowing she could not physically see him yet and sat opposite her, preferring the hard floor to the chairs. Which he found were too comfortable for his liking, as was his bed, his life as a slave had him prefer little to no comforts. Her violet eyes pulled his to hers, his mix of brown and copper, similar to his hair, felt plain to hers.

I am Yuroic, Yuroic Xeraic. At least that was what I am told was my name. He found being abandoned as a baby, with no identification was difficult, his surname came from what was handwritten on the cloak he was found wrapped in. His first name was apparently picked out by him when he was with a family temporarily. The emotions of those days started to pour out in sadness but he blinked briefly and shut them down fast.

He had learnt from his time with his Master that a Jedi can sense another's feelings, he had been careful in what he let out unintentionally. He couldn't afford to let someone get close once more. He studied Jairdain closely, curious about her, she had come across as friendly as any other Jedi but he was reluctant to believe that all Jedi were as empathetic as they claimed. It was weakness from his experience with emotions and sharing such.

Are you a Padawan? He was curious to know more of her, perhaps find evidence of what he was seeking.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain's smile grew when he sat on the floor across from her. So many preferred the comfort of the chairs, but she liked the feel of the solid ground under her. She could feel his eyes on her and while she looked in his direction, there was no focus in her eyes.

"I'm blind and use the Force to see with. That is something I learned how to do basically when I was an infant."

She stated it as matter of fact, there was nothing in her voice indicating she felt the need for sympathy from him.

"There are cybernetics I could get, but I've been this way since I was born and my home world didn't have the technology to have them implanted when I was growing up. Besides, my other senses are far better for it."

He gave his name and she rolled it around on her tongue a little. Basic was not her native language and though she spoke it perfectly she had a slight accent that nobody would be able to place.

"Yuroic, it is nice to meet you."

Tipping her head in his direction, he would see she meant what she said. Emotions showed clearly on her face and Jairdain was easily able to express them.

For just a moment, she felt sorrow from him, but he tramped it down quickly and buried it within himself. It was never healthy to keep emotions bottled up and allowed to eat away at one from the inside. Perhaps, Jairdain could help him learn to accept the emotions granted and learn from them.

At his question, she shook her head.

"No, I am no longer a Padawan, but newly knighted."

A question about how he phrased his first answer popped into her mind and before she could stop it, it found voice.

"How can one not know your own name?"

A blush quickly filled her face and a hand covered her mouth, a surprised look in her eyes.

"You don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

He was surprised by her sudden openness about her lack of sight, something he could have easily exploited if he was that was inclined. If was something his slave master and others would have exploited from him if he were that way. He listened quietly, it was interesting to hear that she was from a planet without the technology that was seemingly available across the galaxy. Her accent was curious too, spoken words were all he knew and living among so many races he found it even more surprising that he could not place it.

He felt a tingle of joy at the way she spoke his name, having never heard it from an accent like hers was something exotic to him. He then remembered that such feelings could be construed as inappropriate, especially since she was a superior rank than he was. He licked his lips slowly and started to think on another question to ask when he heard what she asked him. His brow furrowed.

He spoke coldly. I was abandoned. Was all he would say on the matter, his tone stated that very simply.

Anger started bubbling under the surface, not at her, he could see that curiosity got the better of her in that moment and he was sure that perhaps he might ask a question that struck deep at her. But anger towards his family, they left him, left with strangers. No one knew who he was, where he came from and why he was left alone. He was dumped, was he unloved. That was something that added to the anger.

He bit his bottom lip as he could feel the anger coming off his body in a wave of strong emotion. He closed his eyes and attempted to empty his mind but his thoughts were spiralling down the alley of darkness, depression, resentment, anger and more. His nostrils were flaring as his fists clenched. He hated them, they left him and he hated them.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

As soon as the question was out of her mouth, Jairdain knew it shouldn't have been asked. His tone changed dramatically and with a set answer that stated the topic was a sore one, he did answer her though.

She couldn't imagine a situation where one would abandon a child that couldn't take care of itself. It was heartless and cruel. However, she didn't know if she should express sympathy for his plight.

A feeling of an old and burning anger resonated from Yuroic after he fell silent. That anger grew into other darker emotions. Ones that were a part of every sentient being. It was up to the person if they allowed those emotions to control them though. Right now he was having a difficult time in learning that.

Through the Force, Jairdain watched as his aura changed from calm to troubled and there it stayed. She gave him the time he needed to calm down and once his aura had settled, she spoke again.

"It seems we both have our own stories to tell."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

His heart was racing as he felt a losing battle to his emotions but he heard her words and knew that she could easily sense what he was expressing without meaning to. So he closed his mind and blanketed the emotions away once more. He swallowed his pride and accepted that it was too late to deny that he had a difficult time controlling his emotions, at least ones that concerned his family and likely other people that caused great trouble in his life.

After a minute or two, when his breathing was normal and his anger had rolled away to nothing through sheer determination, he gazed upon her once more. He saw that she was calm, unfazed by his emotions, she seemed in such control that it astounded him. Perhaps that was what he required for the Force, control of his emotions, not just to command the Force. He shook his head, that sounded stupid, it sounded like something a simpleton would say. He was in control, yes it wasn't perfect but he could stop himself from getting too sad, prevent himself crying and he could show a face of happiness even if deep within he was dead inside.

He was in control, there had to be another way to tap into the Force.

How do you control the Force? It has been difficult for me... I put all I have in trying to do something and when nothing happens it just ends up frustrating me. How can everyone here just use it with such ease?

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

It took Yuroic a few minutes to calm down enough that he could speak coherently and the questions he asked helped Jairdain get a better idea of where she could help him.

"I have a few questions for you, if you don't mind."

He gave his assent as he wanted his questions answered.

"I'm sure you know the Jedi Code. It's something that is taught from the beginning. How well do you know the meanings of the words though?

There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force."

She recited the code for him.

"Now that first line is very important in this situation. It says there is no emotion, but there is peace. Obviously, there are emotions. All sentient beings have them, including Jedi. I feel what that line is trying to express we have to maintain control of our emotions and not allow them to rule us. Once we can control them, we will find peace."​

It wasn't something that could happen overnight and Jairdain could tell this would probably take Yuroic a little longer to understand. She thought more of how to phrase her words so as not to sound like a complete nincompoop.

"Meditation is a great place to start in finding peace. I think most of the people here, including myself, have been exposed to the Force for longer than you. So it comes far more easily and naturally. It will happen for you too, just give it time."

While when she was first speaking, Jairdain had almost taken on the tone of voice a teacher would a student, but by the end of her talking, it was more human and natural. At the very end, he would tell she was looking at him through the Force and spoke with the conviction that she truly believed what she said.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Yuroic listened to her, she spoke with knowledge that at the moment was beyond him. He had heard of the Jedi Code but hadn't explored a deeper meaning within it. He realised that it would take time to fully take in what the Jedi Knight was attempting to teach him. To explore the Code, to fully understand what it meant was a challenge, Yuroic hadn't really explored the inner workings of life or words that were said. He took a deep breath, meditation, relaxation. It seemed difficult to see how that would help him but he had to try he guessed.

He closed his eyes and took a comfortable position, start emptying his mind of thoughts. He found himself beginning to relax and his mind was blank, without thought for once. Then he felt it, a movement deep from within him, as he reach for it, it shrank away but he grabbed on a glimmer of hope. He just knew that he had consciously touched the Force instead of unable to.

Perhaps there was some sense to the teachings within the Code. I felt it. I felt the Force.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain could tell she had Yurioc's full attention as she spoke. He listened to her words and appeared to take a greater meaning in them as she addressed what she thought they meant. While hers was one interpretation only, she felt it was the right one.

Taking her suggestion on meditation as a place to start, Jairdain felt him as he started to clear his mind, push his thoughts and emotions aside. She got a smile on her face. He was a faster learner than she anticipated.

When he mind was empty and clear, he would be able to feel the Force. Like a novice, he went to reach out for it and grasp it. It would skitter away, but remain within sight.

"The Force is like a river. It flows around the through everything. Once you learn to stop fighting the flow, things will become easier."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

He opened his eyes as he looked at her. How do you remain so calm? I am trying but at times it is hard to keep my emotions down and not release them... Yuroic swallowed hard, he had given up a weakness within himself but he needed her help with controlling his powers if he was ever going to be of use to the Order. He tried to make sense of what she was saying, stop fighting the flow... Did it mean to give into his emotions.

No... No... you're overthinking this Yuroic, just let it go, you can do this. He closed his eyes and found himself returning to a meditation state, attempting to once again let the Force flow out of him but he couldn't feel the connection this time. He focused on searching, ignoring the rising frustration that was gently bubbling under the surface.

Eventually he grew more and more frustrated with the lack of results. It was starting to become overwhelming before he grumbled and stood up, kicking a chair in frustration. I had it! I could feel it and now it's gone! I was calm... I did as you say but it still decided to be elusive to me! He growled as his frustration led to anger.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain gave him a few moments to try again, but instead of the meditation working this time, the flow eluded him and he became upset. She could feel frustration building within him until he lashed out and kicked one of the chairs in the room.

While the teachings of the Jedi did not fully agree with the guide she had growing up, they were similar. Perhaps she could incorporate some of what she learned when she was young into guiding Yuroic.

"What some people consider to be bad or negative, such as the frustration you are feeling is not evil. The emotions are a natural course of things. Instead fighting to try and control them as you do, you should acknowledge them and let them go into the flow of the Force.
"Everything has a purpose, emotions included. Flowing through everything, there is balance.
"The Force itself is neutral, Yuroic. It is entirely up to the user that designates if it is light or dark."

She made a broad motion with her arms, her hands palm up and open as if to take everything and hold it.

"It is elusive at first, but with time, patience and practice you will learn how to access the Force at will."

The young Knight would again invite him to sit down if he wanted or give him the time he needed to calm down.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

He heaved a deep breath of anger, she was still so calm about this all. How could she be so calm? How could she just sit there? He found his frustration starting to face out from himself onto her. He shook himself, he couldn't let her feel his anger for his failings. He turned away and collapsed to his knees. He wasn't becoming a Jedi, he was becoming something else, something darker. What if he was fated to be a Sith? What if the reason he got so angry, so easily was because he was a Sith deep inside?

What if the person wielding the Force isn't good? What if the reason I can't control it is because I am not meant to be a Jedi but a Sith? He asked quietly, ashamed of himself and his inability to fully control himself, he felt lost once more.

He left his mind empty and allowed his thoughts to wither and fall silent while waiting for the knight to ask his question. The Force might be neutral but that didn't mean he was, it didn't mean he wasn't inherently evil, perhaps his parents were Sith. He closed his eyes and felt the emotions take over, washing over him like waves on a beach, each new wave stronger yet a different emotion. He was becoming more confused on how he could achieve his goal.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain could tell he was greatly troubled by his lack of control, felt him grow angry with himself. She could feel he was falling into a sense of loss. Did he feel alone in this? Like maybe he was the only one facing such difficulties?

She would gaze at him with her sightless eyes and the Force, he would feel her doing so. Through his feelings of loss, she might be a beacon for him to grasp onto, an anchor in his turbulent moment.

Her voice broke through to him as he waited for her answer. His mind empty of thoughts and maybe some of his emotions.

"If the person is not good, then whatever they do with the Force is tainted by their emotions. That's not the case here. You're not a bad person, Yuroic. Control has nothing to do with light or dark, good or bad."

Her voice was calming, but secure. She would stand up and look around at the room, searching for something. In the corner was a stand a few training sabers. While Jairdain would never ben a blade master, there was something comforting in going through the katas of the lightsaber forms. Perhaps that would provide an outlet for the man with her.

Walking over to the stand, she picked up two of the hilts and approached Yurioc. He was on his knees and looked miserable. She held one of them out to him.

"Take this, please and stand up. I have an idea and it might work."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Yuroic took a slight comfort from her presence and her words brought to him, he remained on his knees and soaked in the emptiness that his mind had formed for him at the moment. Being lost in nothing felt calming, it was a return to his life as a slave, though without the horrors that slave life brought. Lost in the emptiness he almost missed what Jairdain said, he shook himself back to reality where he stood silent. Solemn in thought as he took the saber and studied it closely.

The practice saber was light and felt unusual in his hand. He had never held a real lightsaber before and this was the closest he was going to get for awhile, at least at the rate his skills were progress. He moved the blade slowly, studying it with a cautious eye. As beautiful a lightsaber might look he also knew that one was incredibly deadly.

You wish for us to spar? He ask, he wasn't that much of a fighter and his training in the forms were only just beginning.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Yuroic stood up and he was several inches taller than Jairdain. He took the training saber into his hands and rolled it around a little to get the feel for it. Though she could not see him do it, she felt it through the Force. Eventually he asked if she wanted them to spar and she smiled at him with a shake of her head.

"Not at all. What I'm hoping to provide for you is something to focus on. It was taught to me that going through the motions or katas of the different forms of combat can aid, in its way to finding that inner peace you seek."

She took a stance she was comfortable with and waited to see he would follow her or find one more to his liking.

Jairdain had a lightsaber of her own and she could have used that, but felt it more appropriate to use the same type of blade as he had.

"Use the motions we go through and go with the flow."

While she did not have any problems reaching a meditative state, he did and hopefully this alternate method would be the key to him gaining it.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Yuroic nodded his head as he listened to what she had to say. It made sense that he could take comfort in the concentration that is required in performing the Saber Forms. He looked over to Jairdain and watched her perform the first move. He took in every part of her, determined to get the move as right as he could.

He moved into the same position, waiting for her to make the next move as he holds the first pose with some confidence. He could feel the sense of calm and lack of emotion already, the focus of completely the Form being all that rung in his head.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

When Jairdain saw he had gotten into a position comfortable for him. She started going through the kata of the first form she learned from her master here with the Jedi. Her own people did not have a set guide of forms so even much of what the Jedi called them were new to her.

She kept her voice silent as she went through the routine she had been taught here as well as the others she had learned while with the Dominion. It was by them she had been knighted, but the Silver's had welcomed her return after she had recovered from her ordeal and spent a few months with the other Jedi.

Perhaps in time an alliance could be made between the two factions, but that was something to think about further down the line. Not right now when she was trying to guide Yuroic to find peace within himself and allow the Force to flow freely.

Not a word came out if she noticed errors in his movements or stance, it wasn't her place to teach him how to fight. Allowing the familiar motions to fill her, she took found a sense of peace and hoped to share it with the man next to her.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Each movement brought him a sense of calm as he flowed through the Forms with her, he was not perfect, far from it but just the routine of performing the attacks and stances allowed him to think less within his weary mind. One thought did return, resonating through his brain.

If only I knew this to stop Ta'Mihaj. I could have killed him. Saved years of pain. He tried moving past the thought, he hated the Twi'lek for enslaving him, he hated the beatings and starvation for whenever he failed. He hated that he was left to die in some alleyway.

Confronting these thoughts and emotions he tackled them into the stances, becoming more aggressive and swinging with more power behind each attack, picturing his former master as his victim. He gained speed in his motions and started going through the saber forms faster than Jairdain, losing the original grace for brute force. It wasn't till he was sweating profusely and hunched over breathing heavily that he stopped.

Huh... Sorry... I... I seem to have a lot of baggage... Yuroic confessed, starting to feel the need to open up, he couldn't allow his training to suffer if all he needed to do was talk.

[member="Jairdain"]