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Approved Planet Sekalus

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Sanya Val Lerium

Neutral, Queen of Her people, Neko
planets.jpg


Name: Sekalus
Region: Outer Rim
System: Rusya
Suns: 1, Sorra
Moons: Kallina (small moon)

System Features:
:: Sorra ::
A Yellow sun, this is the only sun in the system and has no special qualities.

:: Kiralus ::
Uninhabitable due to having no atmosphere and high surface temperatures. Closest to the sun. The planet is rich in common minerals.

:: Draley Asteroid Belt ::
This asteroid belt lies in-between Kiralus and Sekalus. The asteroids are mostly made of rock and ice while the larger ones contain common minerals.

Coordinates:
wzd7Mu8.jpg

Rotational Period: 27 GSD
Orbital Period: 364 GSD
Class: Terrestrial
Diameter: 35.237 km.
Atmosphere: Type I
Climate: Mixed (biome-dependent)
Gravity: 1 G

Primary Terrain(s):
  • Grassland
  • Mountain Range
  • Desert
  • Oceanic
  • Forest
Native Species:
  • Shard (found in Kura only)
  • Sarlak
Immigrated Species:
  • Charon
  • Croa
  • Tuk'ata
  • Akk Dog
  • Aiwha
  • Hssiss
  • Tuskcat
  • Krayt Dragon
  • Bantha
  • Human
  • Twi'lek
Primary Languages: Galactic Standard Basic
Population: 16.5 billion; 12.4 billion post-Vong War; 8.2 billion post-Rapture
Demonym: Sekallian

Major Imports:
  • Textiles
  • Foodstuffs
  • Minerals
  • Technology
  • Culture
Major Exports:
  • Force-attuned Crystals
  • Common Metals
  • Technology
  • Phrik
Amount: medium
Dev: part 2
Intent: to give people a new environment to mine the recorce, and add a fun activity for people to do on the planet if they explore it
  • Quadanium
  • Durasteel
  • Textiles (minor)
  • Culture (minor)
Affiliation: Covenant of the Black Rose

Major Locations:
:: Dasya Temple Grasslands ::
temple1.jpg


The Dasya Temple was built by the Sith around the time of the Old Republic and was soon after abandoned when the Sith had almost been wiped out and on exodus. It was subsequently consumed by wildlife and weathered by the elements over time. Most of the temple now lies underground.
It has only recently been rediscovered by members of the Sisterhood. The temple has undergone refurbishment to house the Sisterhood's members and to be used as a training ground. Whilst the refurbishing process was underway, traces of the Vahla's existence had been unearthed and discovered. With some members of the Black Rose being followers of the Vahla, a section of the temple has been dedicated to them. Further down in the temple, close to the bottom are newly built labs and alchemy rooms.
The temple is located in a grassland biome and surrounded by forestry, mountains, valleys, caverns, rivers and lakes. The weather in this region is typically hot even during the rainy season. The mountains and caverns found among the grasslands are rich in Phrik and precious metals. There are lots of small settlements scattered across the area. The people who live here often have large farms and mining villages.

:: Luss ::
4572722ec1eeeee8a8c8fb6a713c9584.jpg

Luss is the capital of Sekalus and the only remaining city. It expands over half the continent and stands extremely tall. The city is divided based on class. The rich tend to live higher up in the city, whereas the poor live closer to ground level. Towards the middle of the city is a large spire like building that towers over all the others and reaches deeper. This place is the place of leadership and now is the home to the Black Rose's council. The city has an entire level dedicated to markets and spaceports — twelve to be exact. In the market districts, goods range from food to technology and a multitude of other things. Along the outskirts on the surface are where the factory's and warehouses belong as well as power stations to supply the city with it's power.
Although it is hard to determine what biome Luss once was, the weather there is normally a mix of hot, windy and humid.

:: Kura ::
161e0225167c4fae3d51894e2c97abe7-d49mnn8.jpg

Kura is the only snow biome on the planet, located in the Northern hemisphere just below the planet's Arctic Circle. This place has been know for its crystals, especially healing crystals — still rare and hard to find but slightly more common than most other places bearing such crystals, the vast majority of the crystals form in large caverns located under the ice. Wapmas here are large in numbers and scattered all across the frozen wastelands. The Weather there is always cold and it is mostly dark throughout the day, due to the sun only shining over it for as briefly as one hour a day during the Winter Solstice.

:: Ilet Dunes ::
image_Socorro_on.jpg
The Ilet Dunes make up the largest desert biome on the planet, measuring 563.273,221sq km at its longest cross-section, and also the hottest. Not much lives out there apart from Krayt Dragons, Bantha and a few others species which are unaccounted for. The Dunes are rich in ore deposits of Phrik. While many avoid this region, there are several mining colonies scattered throughout the area. With rebuilding decades of damage, mining is one of the most popular jobs although many of Sekalus' mining colonies are in the grasslands.

:: Inquisition Space Ring ::
kuat_drive_yards_by_wraithdt-d4v3o9m.jpg


Previously the dry docks here were the remnants of the planet's society before it lost contact with the greater galaxy. Upon its rediscovery, Inqusition Industries restored the docks to full functionality for future productions, and to help stimulate the planet's economy.

:: Dark-Side Nexus Fidelity ::
Size: Planet-wide

Intent: To increase one's connection with the Force, increasing the rate and power at which an ability can be learned and used there. It also increases one's connection to the Dark Side of the Force, and with the mounting dangers of the planet, the system is surrounded in a massive Force Storm born from the heart of the world.

Effects: The Nexus Fidelity has a profound effect on Force user's emotional behaviors. If two or more individuals (not including the Force-dead) are close with one-another, it will increase their connection with each other through the will of the Force, in some instances creating a Force-linked bond between the two. (E.g. Master and apprentice, Close friends, Lovers) Although the nexus has another side to the coin that has a more negative effect on force users. This effect causes the force user to go into an uncontrollable frenzy like state once enraged or at the sight of someone that they would hate with a passion. Once the person is in the frenzy, the force user will struggle to weild the force and attack their enemy on sight or go on a killing spree. The only way to stop them once in this state is to heavily sudate the person, critically injured them or worse case scenario execute them.

The darkness on the surface of the world has slowly seeped into the core and slowly formed a black, corrupted heart that permeates in the creatures who walk upon its surface. This corruption at the heart of the world has created a raging Force Storm around the world, originating from the core and extending outwards to give the entire system a cold and oppressing feeling. Starweirds are attracted to the system and can be seen most often by ships able to break through.

Culture: For the past several millennia, Sekalus has been cut off from the galaxy and kept secret. This made importation and exportation difficult. Throughout its days it has maintained the same currency system of credits, though secluded from the galactic economy; this was to avoid any unwanted attention to the planet. As of recently, the planet has been once more revealed to the galaxy under the care of the Sisterhood. Since this event, the economy of the planet has grown exponentially, lessening poverty worldwide.

Government: Dictatorship

Military:
:: Before ::
The planet only had law enforcement due to its population being reduced to one giant city. With wars next to non-existent there has never been any need for a military presence. Law enforcement had been split into two parts: the police and peacekeepers. The peacekeepers were generally the ones armed and were only called upon under special circumstances, like terrorist threats, militia uprisings and drug cartel activity.

:: After ::
Since the Black Rose made this world their centre of operations and capital, the planet now has a large military presence. Soldiers primarily consist of those under the banner of the Black Rose.

Religion: Although this planet doesn't follow any religion officially, it is home to many. The majority believe in the Force and many are followers of the Dark Side and its philosophies.

Technology: The planet has kept up to date with technology since it had been forgotten by most civilizations. Small groups would go out from the planet bringing back samples of technology to be produced, this would help them keep up to date with new tech. All products like datapads and droids were at the time made illegal, unless you were a captain of a vessel. This was to make their civilization harder to find by outsiders. After the Black Rose discovered the planet, the technology had advanced to the production of ships and the factories down below began standard production of vehicles, droids, weapons etc.

History:
Not much is known about the history of Sekalus prior to the arrival of the ancient Builders, a galactic, expanding empire that seeded slaves on worlds within their realm. The Sith Purebloods and human Zhell were found and taken across the stars to build archaic monuments to their masters' growing power.
As the state and arrivals of the builders declined with whispered rumors of slave revolts across their empire, other groups rose up on the planet to challenge them until they were all but driven off. The Builders retreated to their home system deep within the Unknown Regions of the galaxy. Slowly over time, the slaves built a semblance of a normal life.

Years later, visitors from the skies of Kesh came — the ancient Destructors and their ships which rained fire, destroying the advancements and technologies of Sekalus to a point they deemed adequate enough for the former slaves. Their offspring became estranged with the tainted and corrupted world left behind.

The discovery of a location on the world that bred strong children in the Force was something of a surprise and slowly an occult developed, worshiping this "gift of the Builders." What was tragedy for one generation became legacy and something to remember for another without the remembrance of the struggle. The residents of the world dug deep, finding an ancient temple their ancestors had sought to destroy and seal away. Other beings, slowly drawn to it, came from the natural to the almost fantastical as slowly the temple was restored and a near sense of peace befell them.

The passing centuries were good to the world. Walls were erected to protect its inhabitants from the more dangerous creatures and predators of the world whilst the cities flourished. Visitors from other worlds came seeking galactic prospects and trade was established. Temples were created, slowly scattering out across the worlds. These temples were made in honor of the species and different gods within them that seemed to have been drawn together from across the galaxy. Other slave races were culled by the Builders, but unlike them they had remained isolated on their continents, in their jungles and desert mounds. The world's economy began flourishing as off-worlders sought to buy its goods.

When Sekalus was discovered during the Old Republic era, it became home to many Sith in the arts of Sith Magic and those who wished to conduct their training or hone their skills undetected. The population of the planet was still only beginning to grasp the prospects of space travel and viewed these visitors as their gods and rulers. Many still revere the original Sith that once visited as such. Over time, these Sith realized that their power, both in the Force and in influence, was much stronger here, and at the time could not fully grasp why. This led to a temple been built to house the new generations of Sith from the planet; these Sith would then "ascend" to a higher purpose in life. During the Purge of the Sith, the majority had left to fight in the wars or departed to Dromund Kaas, with the rest of the Sith going in hiding. The ones who stayed were but a few and they were the ones not well-trained to use the Force, leading to the end of Sith reign on the planet. Many, however, still subscribe to the ways of the Dark Side.

After many decades had passed, civilization thrived to it's fullest ability and began construction of a new giant city. Over time it grew larger in height, depth and width — but this soon came to a stop when the Yuuzhan Vong attacked during the climax of the planet's population growth. The Sekallian people had encountered their first world war against the Vong. The war raged on for almost two years until the people finally drove them off with cunning and tactics. However, this came at a heavy toll and great losses. Those that were able to use the Force and had some formal knowledge of how to use it often lead the attacks. In the beginning they found it difficult to fight off the Vong, but after several hard months of war, they adapted their methods to engage in the first of many victories against this foe. Their enemy did not attempt a counterattack in the final battle due to how far out Sekalus was from the greater galaxy, but it still crippled their civilization, almost bringing it to its knees. This was when dictatorship fully took its course on Sekalus, guiding it back to its ways of old. Any other historical documentation was either destroyed in the Vong War or lost to time.

The Vong War was not the only crippling event to happen to Sekalus. Within recent years a lot of the population had disappeared unexpectedly. There was no explanation for this, which caused the people to riot. Many believed it to be the end times and a that Rapture had occurred. This left many people frightened and living in fear, stores and homes being looted, people murdered in the streets and society in uproar. Those living in Luss had become uncontrollable until the government took drastic action. The remaining law enforcement worked through the city section by section, bringing it to order until everything had settled down. Most of the damage incurred was to the lower city where the riots had lasted the longest. In a way this turn of events worked in favor of the lower city, now needing to be renovated with new homes and storefronts.

Sekalus' most recent history is the discovery and the takeover of the planet by the Sisterhood. Recognized as Sith, not many put up resistance, but the ones who no longer held love for the Sith ways were soon after eradicated and the seat of the throne was overtaken by Sanya Val Lerium, the one who had converted the former high king and ruler of the planet to croa.

Notable PCs:
  • [member="Sanya Val Lerium"]
  • [member="Camellia Swift"]
  • [member="Darth Praelior"]
  • [member="Darth Venefica"]
Intent:

  • To create a homeworld for the Black Rose the faction can use to develop personal stories.
  • To be used as a world for an original species that the Sisterhood creates.
Development threads:
The Inquisition of Sekalus - Part I (103)
The Inquisition of Sekalus - Part II (101)
The Inquisition of Sekalus - Part III (ongoing due to other developments)
 
[member="Sanya Val Lerium"]
OK, let's get this started.

First and foremost, there are a lot of spelling gremlins in this submission. Some of them are homophones (like their/there), but others are straight out incorrect, such as 'unhabital'. I urge you to either have one of your friends proof read this for you, or use a program or free online spell check. Also watch for the excessive and unnecessary use of apostrophes. Remember, very few words require a ' in it.

Now, on to the main sub.
  • Orbital position: This is oddly precise. You can leave it if you want, but a simpler scheme suffices.
  • Diameter: People are obsessed with super-sized terrestrial planets. Is there a valid reason why this planet is such?
  • Species: As proper nouns, these are all capitalised.
  • Exports: There is a template which needs to be filled out to claim Phrik as it's a restricted material.
  • Material: (which restricted material is on the planet/moon?) Mandalorian Iron/Beskar is no longer available for use on Codex planets.
  • Amount: (the amount will determine whether a dev thread is required. Think carefully and do not abuse what you pick.)
    Small- Allows for unique items and cannot be mined for semi unique or above.
  • Medium- Requires a dev thread of 25 posts to have and may be used for semi unique or below
  • Large- Requires a dev thread of 50 posts or more (at judges discretion) and is for minor or below

[*]Intent and Reasoning: (This is the most important and can get the material taken away if not completed. Why would you like to have this material?)>
  • Temple: Before the Republic? Remember, the Sith were confined to the total opposite of the galaxy until the Republic found them. This cannot be a place the Sith founded unless it was much, much later (either during Revan's time or the TOR era, or later in Bane's era).
  • Luss: Only remaining city? Covers half the planet? These two things don't match. If a city covers half a planet, Denon or Coruscant style your population would be too low, but if it's the only city, it's too high.
  • Kura: If the planet rotates like a normal planet it would receive sun almost totally in the summer, and not at all in the winter.
  • Dunes: Again, an oddly specific number, but is this in area or circumference?
  • Space Ring: A vast undertaking for a planet this big. This will need to be submitted to the factory to be used as shipyards.
  • Nexus: A Dark Side Nexus would not have the side effect of making lovers happy and shiny together. That sounds too much like trying to have your cake and eat it too. The Dark Side is about negative emotions; if this is indeed a planet-wide nexus of darkness I'm expecting it would lead to severe problems with violence. I am also dubious about it creating more Force sensitive children. That again sounds like wishful thinking.
  • Culture: Unintentional hillarity; "been once more reviled itself to the galaxy". That's not the word you meant. Also, culture needs to be dramatically expanded. I get nothing from this.
  • Government: Democracy...really? The Black Rose is a matriarchal Dark Side cult on a planet with a Dark nexus...and yet they have representative democracy? This makes no sense.
  • Technology: "The planet has kept up to date with technology since it had been forgot about by most civilizations" This makes no sense. If it was cut off for so long it should be behind the technology curve.
  • History: We're back to timelines. From your section here you clearly believe this was founded during the Great Hyperspace War era, but the location of this planet makes that impossible. This far rim of the galaxy was not known or settled for centuries, millennia later.
  • History 2: You speak of decades, then the Vong attack - if I am right there is a gap of 4000 or so years here from one to the other. We're also skipping over the Republic, Galactic Empire and the Clone Wars.
  • History 3: The rest of this is so perfunctory that it's barely an afterthought. The history must be dramatically expanded on, especially in regards to the Gulag Plague, Netherworld and so on...and not just footnotes in population.

Overall, I am extremely disappointed in the apparent hasty, slap-dash nature of this submission. For having nearly 300 posts of development on the planet (or at least vaguely related chatter on it) I expected more effort. If you were expecting to be able to cruise through on this you were mistaken.

This entire submission will need to be thoroughly edited for grammar, spelling, internal logic and expanded in the lacking areas. Please tag me when you are ready.
 
[member="Sanya Val Lerium"]

The phrik requires the above template. I also notice it has cortosis.
Choose one or the other. Whether this planet gets one restricted material is a matter for discussion, whether it receives 2 is not.

I have removed that comment, though I maintain it is accurate, considering the Croa exists to turn everyone into catgirls.

That is beside the point though. I look forward to seeing this submission reworked.
 

Sanya Val Lerium

Neutral, Queen of Her people, Neko
[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

Cortosis should have been removed and is that right for the edits.

There may still be a few spelling mistakes but having dyslexia make it hard for me to pin point it. If it's not to much to ask as you read through it could you sort them out please? (If it's not to much to ask)
 
  • “[SIZE=10.5pt]The asteroids are mostly made of rock and ice while the larger one” Unfinished sentence.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Native species: I missed this first time – a native species refers to creatures which evolved there. Banthas, humans etc did not first appear here, so all of these are immigrated species.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Phrik: I am in a bind here. I accept that you have done work for this, but I am also very leery about allowing any more mineable restricted materials. So, since you’ve put in the effort I will allow you to keep it – but you’ll have to edit the amount so only unique or semi-unique tech can come from this Phrik deposit.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Temple: “Dasya temple was built by the sith around the times of the galactic republic and was soon abandoned when the sith had almost been wiped out.” To be continued in history.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Temple: “Most of the temple is now under ground as it has been stood there for millennias.” Should be “Most of the temple is now underground as it has been abandoned for millennia.”[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Temple: “This place is rich in Phyrik and cortosis in the mountains” remove cortosis reference.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Temple: “and cavernes found amongst the grasslands.” Should be caverns.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]City: ‘Black Rose’ should always be capitalised as it’s a proper noun.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Kura: Again, remember to change this regarding the sunlight. On Earth northern Alaska has sunlight 23 hours a day in summer and less than 3 in winter. I suspect the same is here.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Dunes: Again, is this 563,000sq km? or something else? If so, that’s pretty small, considering the Sahara is 9,000,000sq km.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Docks: “rebuilt the dock to full functuality” should be functionality.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Nexus: See my previous critique, I am not going to allow a Dark nexus which makes people happy. That’s more wishful thinking than anything else. Also, increasing the number of Force sensitive children is not something any Force nexus in canon as done.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Culture: “As of recently the planet has been once more reviled itself” the word you want is revealed. Reviled means hated.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Government: I’m still not buying a democracy, especially as it used to be a monarchy. Expand and/or change this.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Military: “With wars next to non” next to non-existent? I’m not buying that everyone lives in one vast city and so therefore they only need law enforcement. That’s not very sensible.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]Technology: Again “The planet has kept up to date with technology since it had been forgot about by most civilizations.” This makes no sense. A planet left behind by the galaxy would not keep up, or it would evolve in radically different ways.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]History: Are we talking about the Rakata here as the builders?[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]History: You’ve added a new section but left the old history unchanged afterwards. This still confuses the timelines. When did the Sith first come?[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=10.5pt]History: “Any other history was either destroyed in the vong war or lost over time.” This feels like a bit of a handwave to me. If the information is not relevant, say that, but we the reader should OOC know everything.[/SIZE]

Overall you’ve done a good job editing some parts of this. The information sections of the template are better now, but the descriptions are still rather poor.

I had initially begun with the intention of bringing up every spelling or grammar error. I’ve brought all the spelling mistakes that I could find, but the grammar is something you need to fix. Not to go full English teacher here:
  • A word only needs an apostrophe if it’s abbreviating something, or showing ownership. So “[SIZE=10.5pt]but it still crippled the society almost bringing it to it's [/SIZE]knees.” Does not need an apostrophe, as Microsoft Word keeps telling me.
  • Capitalise the start of each sentence.
  • If you don’t know where to put commas…best not to. I can endure run-on sentences easier than ones with, too, many, commas.
  • Capitalise names, named places and groups. Sith, Black Rose, Sekalus, Kura, all those need capital letters.
Please take note of my above comments and either provide arguments why you disagree or change them, please don’t just ignore things like the nexus, etc.

There is one final thing; was not Sekalus infected with Croa, to the point that the entire population was converted? I feel that warrants a mention….
 

Sanya Val Lerium

Neutral, Queen of Her people, Neko
[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

I'll edit out the force children ofbthe force nexus, but I really like the idea of the whole love aspect as it is something different and is a more positive for the board and role plays. even if it is dark side love has no side so I don't see why it would be much of an issue.

As for the other edits I will tag you when I'm done.
 
[member="Sanya Val Lerium"]
Love and the Dark Side does not compute. Passion, lust, perhaps. However, love is selfless as well as selfish, caring for others as well as yourself. This is something the Dark Side does not do.

Can you show me an example of Sith settling down and having babies and a house with a picket fence? I don’t think so.
Like it or not, Star Wars is a binary alignment morality. There is Light, and there is Dark. This nexus would not make couples love each other more, it has to go.
 

Sanya Val Lerium

Neutral, Queen of Her people, Neko
[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

Well there wouldn't really be any evidence to support it from books and shows, but it isn't impossible for it to have happened. If possible I would like to keep most of it to a least the force bond but I'll tweak the rest. When I started this planet I was in the gr so it was going to be a light side and I really liked the effect I thought of. But once it swapped over with me to the br I couldn't bring myself to remove it. So if it's okay could we work out a way to keep most of the effects of the nexus instead if having to just remove it and change it? (I have a way to kinda explain it also isn't passion a dark side thing and people who love each other tend to be passionate?)

Also with the amount of dev work fornthe phyrik could I possibly push to limited producted items. Alot of us over at the fj pool don't tend to approve many stuff with restricted items above unique without a solid dev with the work in.

Apart from them the edits are done, I think I got most of the miss placed '.

Also yes rakata builder's and there was no real history during TNGR and TGE
 
[member="Sanya Val Lerium"]
I’ll allow the Force bonds, and I’ll allow the bumping of the Phrik production to Limited items – because as you say the Factory regulates actual item creation.

However, I will not allow a Dark nexus to make people sweet, happy and loving. That is much more a feature of the Light than the Dark.

If that’s going to be a sticking point I will have to deny this and you’ll have to Second Chance it with an RPJ or Admin.
 

Sanya Val Lerium

Neutral, Queen of Her people, Neko
[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

okay removed the last part and put examples of people who are close to give a more clear idea of that then. Also thank you for allowing me to bump the phrik up.

Other than that is there anything else that will need edits?
 
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