Approved Tech Orbalisk Armor

[Enzo Carpathia]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
Intent: To Sub a armor for Enzo and Cairyn

https://staticdelivery.nexusmods.com/mods/110/images/42310-4-1379213850.jpg

• Image Source:
  Spoiler

  http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/42310/?
• Canon Link: N/A
• Restricted Missions: Dxun Haiku
• Primary Source: Heavy Armor

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• 
  Manufacturer: Enzo Carpathia
• 
  Model: Orbalisk
• 
  Affiliation: Enzo Carpathia and [member="Cairyn Midore"]
• 
  Modularity: No
• 
  Production: Semi-unique
• 
  Material: Orbalisk

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• 
  Classification: Multi-prupose
• 
  Weight: 13.6kg
• 
  Quality: 9

SPECIAL FEATURES

• ​Orbalisk

DETAILED SPECIAL FEATURES
Enzo’s armor was designed with several special features in mind. The armor also comes with orbalisk plating allowing it to block lightsabers and other attacks.

DESCRIPTION
The Orbalisk armor was designed to be a heavy armor for Cairyn and Enzo. The orbalisk are living creatures that feed on the dark side of the force. They cling to the body and offer a symbiotic relationship between them and their host. These plates offer a high amount of blaster resistance, slugthrower resistance, and even lightsaber resistance. Though the armor is immune to none of these things, it can take several blows from each of these sources before failing. The plates, are of course heavy and thus make movement difficult. The Orbalisk grants boost of adrenaline when more darkside energy is fed to them. As a result of the adrenaline it grants it's users extreme strength and enhances reaction time. The strength increase grants the user the ability to punch through thin (Stone) walls, pierce weaker metals and pick up large objects.

Strengths:

• 
  Highly Resistant to blasters, slugthrowers, and lightsaber strikes and can take several blows before failing.
• Adrenaline and strength boost

Weaknesses :

• 
  Heavy and difficult to move around in.
• 
  Vulnerable at the Joints
• 
  Lightning hurts orbalisk
• Injects host with posion upon death

 

[Netherworld]

<p>Hello, I'll be the factory judge reviewing your submission. If you have questions, please feel free to respond to this thread once we are underway.</p>

 

[Netherworld]

[member="Enzo Carpathia"]

• The Image source is meant to contain a link to the creator of the image, while the image itself you would usually paste above the submission.
  
  

  Production: Enzo Carpathia and Cairyn Midore

• This needs to list a production level. E.g. Unique, Semi-Unique. By the looks of it, you intend it to be worn by two people, so that'd be Semi-Unique
  
  

  Armorweave, Duraplast, Plasteel, and Orbalisk

• Obalisks attach to the wearer's body and then feed on their Force sensitivity. You can't really have any other materials between the flesh and the Orbalisk, or they are essentially useless. It would also make installing any sort of HUD into the 'armor' very difficult.
  
  

  Force resistant

• I'm not sure where you're getting this from. People wearing Orbalisks weren't in any way resistant to Force attacks.

@mention me with edits or questions.

 

[Enzo Carpathia]

Done, still a little rough I feel, but I just took finals and am tired.

[member="Netherworld"]

 

[Netherworld]

[member="Enzo Carpathia"]

Your Image source is still only a link to the .jpg itself. I need you to link the website of the image's author, or at least the website where you found it, if the former isn't possible.

You also need to remove the references to other materials from your Description, not just the Materials field.

 

[Enzo Carpathia]

Done.
[member="Netherworld"]

 

[Netherworld]

[member="Enzo Carpathia"]

I see you've added some Strengths that weren't there before. In the future, please avoid doing this without discussing it with the Judge, as it may be seen as trying to 'sneak edit' a submission, which is against the Factory rules.

14. Intentionally breaking these rules or attempting to mislead Judges will incur a 30 day zero tolerance ban from the Factory or Codex.

Moving on to the submission itself:

The Orbalisk also grants the host extreme healing capabilities and boost of adrenaline when more darkside energy is fed to them. As a result of the adrenaline it grants it's users extreme strength and enhances reaction time.

• These benefits were only ever seen in the case of Darth Bane, who was one of the most powerful Lords of the Sith in history.
• You also copied only the benefits, but none of the downsides – which pushes this armor a good deal closer to overpowered.

1. I'm going to ask you to nerf those capabilities. Ditch one of the following:
   Healing
   OR
   Strength increase
   – whichever you choose to keep, you'll have to be more specific about it. How much of a strength increase? What does 'extreme healing capabilities' mean in practice?
2. Furthermore, if you want more Strengths, you need to balance it out with Weaknesses. Since Orbalisks have plenty of canon downsides to them, just copy those into the sub.
   They feed on the Force of the host.
   They are parasitic creatures implanted directly into the body of the host. This causes constant pain.
   When they are removed or killed, they release lethal toxins into the body of the host.

@mention me with edits or questions.

 

[Enzo Carpathia]

Should be adequate now

[member="Netherworld"]

 

[Netherworld]

Modularity: Yes

In what way is it modular?

 

[Enzo Carpathia]

[member="Netherworld"] I was thinking capes and such, but I suppose that doesn't really matter in the sub. I switched it to no for simplicities sake

 

[Netherworld]

Awesome. Thank you for your cooperation.

Approved. Pending mentor approval. [member="Tai Fa"]

 

[NightSister]

Awesome. Pending Admin Approval. Thanks! [member="Cira"]

 

[NightSister]

Awesome. Pending Admin Approval. Thanks! [member="Cira"]

 

[Jamie Pyne]

Approved.