Fragments of the Self

[Vereshin]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENiYer2qg1w​

Continued from Fever of Our Waiting​

​

Black energy gathered around a quiet spaceport outside of the populated district of Denon. Despite having been lost among the strange world, Vereshin never required Leira's assistance to find the way back to his ship. He merely used the situation to his advantage in order to gain her trust. The energy compacted and formed the shape of Vereshin holding the young girl in his arms. He landed on his feet before the descending ramp where a Sith guard waited to take Leira and carry her on board.

With an exasperated sigh, Vereshin handed her over the to the sentry and gasped for breath. He followed, winded from fatigue and watched the sentry take Leira to the medical bay where doctors and healers treated her injuries. He glanced once and retreated to his own quarters. Lamps shaped like holocrons glowed yellow against the black decor and the Sith sorcerer followed their light to his personal refresher. He urinated, then ran a bath and undressed before sliding a foot into the steaming water and instantly welcoming the soothing feeling on his aching body.

The healers aboard the Sith vessel allowed Leira her own chambers and a refresher, where she would receive clothing and Sith texts upon awaking from her treatment. Books detailing lightsaber and combat forms and harnessing emotion through the Dark Side filled a shelf in her room. While she recovered, Vereshin soaked by the light of one the lamps and snapped his fingers above the bathwater to light a cigarette. Healing salts absorbed into his skin and worked their way into his tired system. Sitting on the smell of cloves, he closed his eyes and inhaled every so often, wrist hanging limp over the edge.

A knock at the door alerted him to the meal prepared for Leira and himself. Vereshin dozed for a while before lifting himself out of the bath with the cigarette hanging from his mouth. He dried in fluffy towels and discarded the end of the smoke in the toilet bowl. With a towel around his waist and one over his shoulders, he exited into the bedroom and dressed in a dark grey shirt and suit pants, with a black cardigan worn over the top. He despised colours and dressed only black and shades of grey.

Bare feet padded across the metallic hall of the ship and into secluded dining room. Yellow holocron lamps illuminated the glossy, black finish in a warm balm. Leira sat at one end of the table while Vereshin sat at the head. A servant girl placed a supper in front of her and a light broth for himself. Bread and butter was served between them accompanied by a pot of black tea with milk and sugar. Paying no heed to the glare emanating from the girl, Vereshin combed back his slick hair and stirred the broth with his spoon.

"Today was only your first test." Vereshin stated after a long silence. He balanced the liquid on the spoon and sipped, the hot soup bringing instant relief to his aching stomach. He set down the spoon while retrieving his glasses from the collar of his cardigan and slid them over his ears in order to see his supper more clearly. "This will all make sense in time." The final sentence rang on his tone as a warning. Vereshin did not appreciate questions.

[member="Leira Rhys"]

 

[Leira Rhys]

Everything was a blur. Watery images of faint light entering her eyes, foggy from sleep. Every bone seemed to ache with fatigue. Leira's upper left arm had a burning sensation. Her fingers touched the slightly reddened skin, heat gathering under the tips. It was a minor burn; But it was significant enough to bring back images of fire, fire escaping her hands and killing someone. The same hands from which the fire had escaped reached out and crushed a man's windpipe. Leira remembered the flurry of emotions that assaulted her. They felt so distant now; So unlike her. Her stomach ached with dread at the realization of what she had done. Leira felt acid rising in her throat, a putrid sour taste. Putting a hand over her lips she rose from her bed and quickly scanned the chamber. It had a refresher, equipped with a toilet and a shower. Running into it she dropped to her knees, bending her torso over the toilet and wretching. Everything came up, the heat from the spicy noodles burning her throat. After her stomach had been purged of its' contents she continued to dry heave. After that passed, she sobbed. It wasn't a soft, beautiful cry where a few tears slid down her cheeks and her cheeks turned rosy with emotion. It was a sob that wracked her whole body and enslaved every nerve, sending mucus sliding from her nostrils down her face, causing her to hiccup uncontrollably.

After Leira regained some bodily control she flushed the vomit. Her grey shirt and jeans were covered in ash and stomach acid and she smelled putrid. She stripped, leaving her old clothing in a pile on the floor. Leira turned the shower on to the hottest it could go and stepped in. The ash from her hands rinsed away, leaving the water that swirled down the drain a murky brown color. She stood there for a long time attempting to let the scorching water burn and wash away all the darkness that poisoned her. Hoping it could wash away her deeds and bring back the lives she took.

After washing her body and hair with the small amount of hygiene products the chamber's refresher had been stocked with, she dried off and walked into the main area of the cabin. Black, clean clothing was folded on the foot of the bed. She unfolded them and held them to her form. The main part was a dark grey robe. The type of robe a Sith Acolyte might wear. The bottom half was black pants that were also soft but form fitting. She slipped them on and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes seemed vibrantly green in the contrast to the reddened blood vessels around them, irritated by tears. Her hair which was almost dried laid at her shoulders, shiny blonde locks that reflected the little light in the room. If she were in a normal circumstance, such as at home on Alazir, she would've thought to herself that she was attractive for a moment. But right now the thought didn't even cross her mind. Leira could only focus on the present situation and her guilt.

Speaking of the present situation, Leira wasn't exactly sure where she was. She figured out that Vereshin took her; Somehow, she sensed his presence. She didn't know exactly where she was though. Was she on another outer rim planet? Was he going to turn her in, framing her as a criminal to get a good sum of money? Was she in his house? Leira couldn't see beyond the closed door of her chamber. She prepared to use the Force to somehow get a glimpse of her surroundings but before she could concentrate on it, there was a knock at the door followed by it sliding open. A servant girl was at the entrance.

"Follow me. It's time for supper."

The thought of food made Leira more optimistic even if only for a moment. After throwing up her stomach had been growling angrily at her in protest. Though her actions made her sick the hunger pains seemed to be more urgent at the moment. She got up and exited the chamber alongside the woman. They passed by a window which displayed stars and nearby planets. Leira was hit with the realization she was on a ship. Her heart turned inside her chest, the uncertainty terrifying. She had no idea where she was going. She had no idea what Vereshin intended, though it couldn't possibly be good. Leira wasn't ignorant enough to believe that anymore.

They turned into a room with an arching entrance. It opened into a dining room. The foot and head of the table were set with plates and utensils. Leira was seated at the foot and told to wait for Vereshin. With a press of a button, a door closed off the area leaving Leira in solitude. The seconds seemed to drag on. Her heart pounded in her ears, her hands shook. She squeezed them tightly to steady them.

Then the door slid open and Vi walked in. Leira shot him the nastiest glare she could muster up, hoping to convey her displeasure wordlessly. Food was sat in front of her. She began eating it quickly, tearing into the bread like a starved animal and picking up the broth with both hands and drinking it as fast as she could. She sat it back down once she had slurped up a fair amount. He began to speak to her, saying how he didn't like questions, how it would all make sense. Leira thought it was a load of huttspit. Nothing about this made sense.

"Fok jou, kut." Leira spat, not even letting a few seconds of silence pass after he spoke. Whether or not he could understand it by entering her mind or other methods, she didn't care. She wasn't going to speak basic to appease him anymore and she was sure as hell gonna ask questions.

[member="Vereshin"]

 

[Vereshin]

The omnipresent drone of the ship moving slowly through the Void of space drowned out beneath the sharp contrast of Vereshin's spoon chiming against his bowl. A long silence held the air between Leira and himself before she spat in her native language. The Force bond allowed Vereshin to read the thoughts which accompanied her emotions, despite not understanding her verbally. A thick eyebrow arched over his glasses and the end of his mouth curved upwards in silent torment. The bond combining their energy strengthened them equally in the Force. For this reason, Vereshin could not kill Leira.

"Tch tch tch." Vereshin portended. He spoke slowly, stroking the metal of the spoon with one thin finger before reaching into his trouser pocket for his cigarette case. Flipping open the lid, he retrieved a white cylinder, held it between his teeth and ignited the end with a snap of his fingers. The tiny spark of electricity bounced off the air above his skin and set the end of the cigarette a brilliant orange. Smoke trailed from his fingers and weaved shapes above the table as he held the cigarette to his mouth and inhaled every so often.

"You cannot deceive me. Don't even try." The magus spoke into Leira's mind. In an instant, she would feel a rush of energy delivered from Vereshin's power filling her body. As she grew stronger, Leira may learn to deceive him. For now she remained under his complete dominance. Coarse and ill-raised, Leira held her defiance in stark contrast to her host. Vereshin housed the girl with courtesy despite the psychological torment he inflicted upon her. In Leira and Vereshin existed fragments of each self, binding the other together and melding them through the Force.

Vereshin removed his glasses and concentrated. He splayed his fingers across the table and gripped Leira's body through the Force, causing her to freeze in her seat. His brow furrowed as he penetrated her mind in attempt to comb through every thought and memory ripe for manipulating. He sensed raw anger, conflict, sadness and trauma. All emotions alien to him. He desired to understand them without gracing them entirely. The mechanics of an untamed mind, her vibrant energy. He desired to know this child.

"I share my privacy with you and offer the opportunity for a better life, and all you return to me is impudence." Vereshin spoke to Leira while combing her thoughts, responding to her initial remark in effort to distract her from his psychological probing. He preened her perception of the reality surrounding her and tried to understand any needs or wants she held which could potentially unleash her strength.

"You wear the robes of a Sith Acolyte now." Vereshin said as he relaxed his grip slightly. He noted her attire and eyed her up and down. "Soon you will train among our ranks." He finished and took another brief sip of his broth followed by a puff on his cigarette. He set the smoke down on the edge of a silver ashtray and poured pressure into his focus once again. For all of Vereshin's power, he feared violence and could not engage in combative tasks or any missions involving large numbers of people without an external pawn. That was the intention behind Leira.

[member="Leira Rhys"]

 

[Leira Rhys]

Leira felt her body stiffen against her will and freeze, her muscles suddenly locked in position. Her eyebrows drew together in a stubborn glare and her gaze into his eyes did not falter. She kept eye contact with him, letting him know that she was going to be a challenge. Leira knew that she would have to obey him until she figured out how to rid herself of the damned Force bond. She did have a say on whether she made it pleasant for him, though. She planned on making every second miserable for him. Leira stared intently into his vivid green eyes, focusing on the tension shared between the two. She reached out with the Force, pushing against him. She felt moisture develop on her temples.

"You made me kill," She growled. "And you're asking me to be polite?"

Despite pushing back as hard as she could to keep him out of her mind, she gave way. Leira panted with fatigue, a bit of sweat streaking down the sides of her face. She had been trained lightly in the Force by her father to do basic things like move heavy objects, run faster, sense her surroundings, but she was never prepared to fight off a breach of her consciousness. Focusing intently could only keep Vi out for a limited amount of time before draining Leira.

With access to her memory, Vi would see the physical abuse that happened recently at the Foster Home. Being slapped around, pulled by her hair, punched. He would also see the verbal degradation of Leira and the other children, how they were told they were worthless street rats, how they would never amount to anything. Those were words Leira took to heart. Then, he would be presented with her years alone, fending for herself on Alazir. Vi would feel her how desperately lonely she was and how she felt physically empty. He would see the trash bins she scavenged in and the woods she hunted in. Finally, he'd see the secluded house she grew up in. It was a moderate size, brick, overgrown by ivy. He'd see her parents, her mother, her father, then---

Leira pushed back harder than she had before through the Force, shutting him out of her mind all of a sudden. She closed her eyes and focused on Vi's Force signature. She reached out, feeling his essence. It started to materialize into a picture, into thoughts and ideas. She realized, all of a sudden, that she was accessing Vereshin's mind as he had done to her through their connection. Memories started to present themselves to her. Leira simply focused, letting the information flood into her mind.

[member="Vereshin"]

 

[Vereshin]

Vereshin lifted his hand from the table and extended his wrist in Leira's direction, outstretching his fingers and strengthening his hold through the Force. He paid no heed to her rebuttal and focused on combing her memories. Closing his eyes, he was transported to the foster home where she had lead him previously. He witnessed her abuse at the hands of the staff members and the other children, feeding of every last ounce of pain communicated to him from her mind. The vision shifted and Vereshin arrived at a secluded house among trees.

The sorcerer watched Leira's father mistreat her when a trigger affected his perception. Leira pushed back through the Force and turned the spell against him. A surge of energy threw him backwards in his seat, causing him to grip the arm rest as his own memories delivered involuntarily into Leira's mind. She saw his mother, an illiterate gypsy and his father, a lean farmer amidst the frozen tundra of Ziost. She saw as his father wrenched him away from his books and planted his hand in the glove of a Sith sentry.

"Freak!" The other Acolytes called as the vision shifted to a view of the Sith temple. Leira watched as they chased and brutalized the quiet student. Sweat gathered on the back of Vereshin's neck and his chest pounded while his hand gripped the arm of the chair. Arching his head backwards, he closed his eyes and delivered a massive surge through the Force which would knock the vision directly out of Leira's mind.

Images of indescribable horror juxtaposed with grainy static and infinite equations continuing into oblivion, compounding unseen and rarefied numbers from the very heart of atoms to the limits of the Universe. The imagery melded into a cyclonic vortex, tearing the shapes from matter and form into a consuming black sphere. The entrance to the void pulled at Leira physically and attempted to drain her thoughts. Suddenly, Vereshin slammed a hand on the table and the vision came to an abrupt end. A long pause held the air between Leira and himself. Sitting in silence, a great pang of sorrow overcame the phycist which she would be able to sense.

"I believe time heals all wounds, Leira." The silence ended. Vereshin stared forlornly at the table as the servant girl arrived to take the empty plates away. Following her exist, he procured another cigarette and ignited it directly from the end of the one already balancing on the ashtray. "You will assist in proving my theory correct." Vereshin did not suppose Leira understood just how literally he believed in his statement.

[member="Leira Rhys"]

 

[Leira Rhys]

Vereshin's pain resonated throughout her emotions as if it were her own. She saw him as a young boy, skinny and frail, tormented by Sith acolytes who didn't understand him. She wasn't shown why they hated him or what made him strange aside from the fact he was small and quiet. Leira knew though that it hurt him; It was a weakness. As the memories ended abruptly she felt a strange sense of victory. Vereshin knew something about Leira. Leira knew something about Vereshin. She sensed his sorrow even after the memories ended, lingering pain from the past. A feeling she knew all too well.

As the servant girl took her empty plates away she stared at Vereshin from across the table. Leira's eyes held no pleasure towards his pain nor sadness, just simple indifference.

"Maybe it does," Leira said. "I want you to tell me where you're taking me and what the rest of the day is going to be like. I won't say another word if you'll do that for me."

She knew Vi didn't like questions but Leira didn't like being left in the dark. They could trade; He could answer minimal questions in turn for her silent compliance.

Fear turned Leira's stomach. The food she had consumed turned in her stomach. She was terrified of what being an Acolyte was. She knew nothing of the Sith past their name other than they were a supposedly amoral group of Force-Users. She knew Acolytes were trainees. Leira knew more of what happened earlier was in her future. He had said it was a mere test. Leira tried not to think about it; She didn't want to hurt people. She had no malice or ill-intent towards anyone but her father in her heart. Leira was a survivalist, a fighter, but not a killer. She was no longer fully herself either. Leira was part Vereshin.

But Vereshin was also part Leira.

As the ship continued drifting effortlessly through the cosmos and closer to their destination, Leira sat across from Vereshin and stared at him with intense, strategizing eyes. She was determined to escape someday. She would not spend her life being misused by others.

[member="Vereshin"]

 

[Vereshin]

The servant girl soon arrived baring a tray of tea which she placed in the center of the table between Vereshin and Leira. A pause held the air during the she was present and Vereshin waved a hand in a gesture of dismissal as she motioned to pour the tea, relieving her of her duties and instructing her to leave his guest and himself alone. When Leira asked her question, Vereshin allowed the pause to continue while he waited for the tea to infuse. He breathed deeply and drummed his fingers across the table while inhaling on his cigarette. Raising one finger, he levitated the teapot to Leira's cup and poured the steaming liquid half-way.

Carrying the teapot through the Force to his hand, he filled his own china cup and setting the pot down. In the moment Leira's fingers graced the surface of the handle of the cup, the cup which belonged to Vereshin, a memory of his own presented in her mind. The girl would be transported back towards one of Vereshin's first combat situations where he aided [member="Vaylin"] in defeating a group of cultists. The same anxiety and dread he harbored towards physical contact would be delivered to Leira as she watched the young Vereshin cower behind Vaylin. The vision would draw Leira to Vaylin's presence, a formidable warrior to teach her the ways of the lightsaber.

Vereshin sipped the white peony without being aware to the vision presently taking place inside Leira's mind. The memory would fade and transfer to another memory, the Black Party, where Leira would see Vereshin arm in arm with his lover [member="Pom Stych Tivé"] before the evening turned to disaster. She would feel the passion and adoration he felt towards Pom, witnessing her features clearly before the emotions shifted to discomfort and panic as Vereshin lost his wits among the bright lights and crowded atmosphere. The vision transformed again and shifted the Battle of Thyferra, an event which occurred only weeks before Vereshin met Leira. She witnessed the terror he experienced in the midst of the battle and the rising fear of violence which only grew more prevalent with the experience.

The vision traveled to Vereshin's own mind and he became abruptly aware of what Leira was witnessing. He set down his teacup with a clang and waved a hand vigorously through the air. The memories drew to a close, leaving Leira with a more coherent understanding of Vereshin's plans for her. The sorcerer only sighed with a slight roll of his eyes, realizing either could not control when their memories traveled between each mind. "You will be taken to the Sith Empire where you will be trained in lightsaber combat." Vereshin finished, making a note of approaching Vaylin wand requesting her to train Leira. "I am not a combatant. I am a sorcerer. You will complete combative tasks where I cannot." He revealed to Leira while taking a further sip of his tea.

"... But you must be trained to control the Force as well, lest my powers overwhelm you." The Sith Knight explained, his tone softening as he became accustomed to Leira's presence. "That is where I will assist in your training." He sighed and allowed for a moment of pause where Leira could collect her thoughts. "I want you to concentrate, collect your grief and negative feelings and extend them into your reach." As he instructed, Vereshin demonstrated the task by compacting his own fear and feeding it through his external hold in the Force. He levitated the liquid in his teacup and pulled it delicately into the air in a flowing ribbon. His fingers rolling with the gentle casting, he formed the floating tea into a perfect sphere and rotated the glossy ball around in the air. "Hold the tea. Do not use your cup or spoon." He ordered and waited for Leira to practice the same motion.

[member="Leira Rhys"]

 

[Leira Rhys]

Feelings of pure fear made Leira's heart pound against her ribcage and beads of sweat dampen her small hands. Scenes of battle and chaos flooded her mind. It didn't take her long to realize these emotions were not her own; They were Vereshin's. He needed her to fight in his place because he was afraid; He was a coward who couldn't fight his own battles and had to find a young girl to do it for him. Biting the inside of her lip, Leira held back a long string of angered expletives. She felt like lunging towards him and scratching his luminous green eyes out with her fingernails. It would do no good, though. He could easily stop her with the Force as he was much more experienced with it.

Even after the reel of memories stopped she could feel the potent fear in his Force signature. She felt him somehow harnessing it to his advantage and was thoroughly perplexed. Leira used the Force but she didn't particularly harness emotions. She always had to focus, close her eyes, and still her fear. Her curiosity temporarily overpowered her anger and fear as she watched him effortlessly lift the liquid out of the cup. The liquid's edges curved gradually to form a golden brown glossy sphere. Leira wanted to lean over the table and touch it to see if its shape would hold. The Force and its capabilities were largely unknown to her. She was utterly alarmed and petrified to find it was possible to harness fire through it. Apparently bending liquids was also possible.

She listened to his instruction intently, her eyes clearly showing a lust for knowledge. Leira had then become a slave to her curiosity and desire to learn more.

Leira reached out through the Force, beginning to feel her environment. She saw the corridors, windows, servants, chambers, washrooms of the ship. She saw the servant girl who had been present earlier, now tidying Vi's washroom. But most of all, she saw the teacup. She felt all the particles of matter holding it together. Her eyebrows pinched together in focus. The teacup and the liquid began to tremble and at first, the teacup began to hover. It quickly lowered back down to the table as that wasn't the desired effect.

The liquid, just the liquid... Why is this so hard?

She remembered his advice to use her negative emotions to her advantage. Leira began to purposefully think of upsetting things. She remembered how scary it was to be in uncertainty, to be being hauled off to the Sith Empire, something she had only heard of in fairytales that was supposedly a corrupt and vile place. She remembered how much she hated Vereshin for his cowardice. Leira concentrated on her confusion and hatred. Confusion and hatred and the tea. That was all that existed.

The liquid began to vibrate with such ferocity that one would assume the ship was running poorly. Drops of tea began to levitate, slowly amassing into a spherical object. Leira focused, directing every negative emotion to the liquid as if it were her personal punching bag. Soon the last drop levitated and the sphere was complete.

Leira let out an exhalation of triumph but kept her focus on keeping the shape of the sphere.

"I didn't know that was possible." She said, childlike fascination echoing in her voice. "It's really cool.."

[member="Vereshin"]

 

[Vereshin]

The hatred Leira felt towards Vereshin resonated through him and every space of the ship. He experienced an emotion in Leira which was alien to him. One which fueled his power as it seethed from her and into his own essence. As Leira coiled her fist, the lines of Vereshin's mouth turned upward in a sly smile. Her rage satisfied him. He watched with an impressed raise of his eyebrow as she successfully levitated the tea on her first try. His eyes turned back towards the ball he levitated and gently, he compressed the liquid.

The particles compacted and became dense, collapsing into space and creating a consuming orb of inky blackness. The sphere caused the teacup to tremble and the remaining drops absorbed into the pull. Vereshin rotated the tiny singularity within his hands and snapped his fingers, causing the hole to compact entirely and vanish from reality. With his tea gone, Vereshin reached over and gripped the handle of the pot. He poured the steaming liquid halfway, set the teapot down and brought the cup to his mouth, sipping and savoring the ethereal taste.

He set down his cup with a discrete clang. As soon as the china hit the saucer, he reached through the Force with his mind and dispersed the sphere of water Leira held in the air. The ball sputtered and burst with a splash, soaking her front and extinguishing the end of Vereshin's cigarette. He chuckled jovially and reached for his handkerchief, dabbing the drops of tea off his face and his front. He found his cigarette case and procured another smoke which he set between his teeth while raising a menacing eyebrow in Leira's direction.

"You put out my cigarette." Malice dripped from Vereshin's words as he teased the girl. "Light me another." He said with the cylinder rocking between his teeth, preparing to test Leira's skills in manipulating energy.

[member="Leira Rhys"]