Diary of a Dying Man [Complete]

[Lord Ghoul]

Bent-light illusion was an ability Mikhail Shorn had not used in a long time. He occasionally fooled around with that and other things like mind tricks, art of the small, and doppelgangers, but he had never truly been good with them. Granted, his 'good' was apparently good enough to bypass the scanners and security systems at the capital of Annaj, allowing him to... sneak into [member="Spencer Jacobs"]' bedroom.

She wasn't here so he took certain, uh, liberties and began to peruse the contents of her room. He started with the dresser and quickly found a diary, at which point his searching ceased. This was way too interesting. He flopped onto her bed. Mmm, comfy. Shorn reached out a hand and grabbed a teddy bear, then set it on his chest. Shorn opened the book up and started reading, utterly careless of his sacrosanct action.

While reading, Shorn attempted to make his Force signature as small as possible. She wouldn't sense him, hopefully, until she got back into her room. And, well, then things would get really interesting. Although, that was not the only reason he had come here. Despite pushing her out of his life, Shorn still couldn't help but have the occasional lavender-scented dream that left him feeling hollow when he woke. He needed to see her again. And also, he needed to stop dying.

The slow process of Dark Side corruption had indeed been very slow on his body, but he couldn't stop the decay forever. Eventually, his flesh would grey and he'd end up looking like Darth Wrinkles. And then... he would die. Shorn found himself less caring about the dying part and more frightful of what would happen to his body in a couple years' time. He wanted to live life, but he did not want to live life more of a monster than he already was. Maybe Spencer knew a way to stop it, or maybe that was just an excuse he was using to see her.

Either way, Shorn was there and he distracted himself from his dark thoughts by continuing to read her diary, which - my oh my - really was private for a reason.

 

[Allyson Locke]

A hand brushed aside stray bangs from her face as she walked down the narrow hallway back to her room. She had been in her training room meditating and practicing Tutaminis, there were slightly black singe marks on her tight tank top, the places where her skin wasn't showing mostly. Tutaminis worked well when the skin showed and she showed as much as she modestly could. Bare feet padded down the hallway as she had her arms wrapped around her bare midsection, and her tight pants stopping just past her knee.

Stopping in front of her room she paused for a moment, something felt out of place yet the more she looked for something to be wrong she couldn't find it and dismissed the feeling. Sighing softly, she waved her hand in front of the door and it slid open revealing her decently sized room. It was obvious it belonged to a younger girl, still with stuffed animals and a post or two of a famous singer or holofilm figure. Her and Ashin shared a room somewhere else, this was just her own office and bedroom located quite close to the private training room she had.

They were a busy pair, which made things hard but at the end of the day they were together and it made Spencer smile. She entered her room and locked the door behind her in case her odd feeling manifested itself into something. Walking over to her drawer, she pulled out a clean pair of undergarments and some comfortable clothing. setting them on top, she looked down into the drawer and noticed something missing. Biting her lower lip, she panicked slightly knowing that in her diary was a very detailed recollection of everything that had happened in her life...even that stuff. Trying not to worry about it she slowly reached behind her back and patted around for her shirt clip so she could remove it. Finding it easy, she shrugged off the tight work out shirt and tossed it into her dirty clothes basket. Humming to herself she thought quietly about the lovely shower waiting for her. Hands patted along her back as she searched for her bra clip, darn thing was always such a hassle...

She never looked towards her bed and she never noticed the snark of a man flipping through her more intimate thoughts. Boy the things he would find, her previous crush on him, her adventures with a certain Garhoon, and of course Ashin with the Thrones.

[member="Mikhail Shorn"]

 

[Arage Bao]

“At least you are keeping it classy, and ain’t sniffing around her panty drawer, Shorn. Do me a favor will ya, don’t tell her I am in your head. She doesn’t need to know that I am… well dead. Hopefully she won’t sense that I am here, she will probably want to lecture me again.”

Keeping it classy himself, Jared tried to ignore all the new information Shorn was getting by reading Spencer’s diary. Seemed a bit of an infringement of her privacy. Not that he cared much about people’s feelings; he had removed that part of him during the duel. It had been the only way to inflict some damage to Shorn; sadly it also removed his ability to feel love. Shame. Damn shame.

Still there was something called keeping it classy, and as such Jared showed his displeasure with Mikhail. A mental finger was waggling away.

[member="Mikhail Shorn"] [member="Spencer Jacobs"]

 

[Lord Ghoul]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"] [member="Jared Ovmar"]

As the door opened, Mikhail peeked over the diary and stared at Spencer. She wore work out clothes that made him catch his breath a little. Stars, he had forgotten what a tease she was, intentionally or unintentionally. How long had it been since he'd seen her last? He couldn't remember. She didn't smell like lavender this time though. Just sweat. Somehow, that was still attractive on her. Especially when she waltzed right by him and started taking her clothes off.

Both of Mikhail's eyebrows rose in an expression only he could manage: a facade of shock mixed with mischief and nonchalance. Did she just ignore him? No, Spencer wasn't like that. For some reason she hadn't even looked over at the bed. Her lack of observation was probably due to a large helping of exhaustion and some general Spencer-esque cluelessness.

Suddenly, another mind butted in on his tom-peeking. Shorn's eyes narrowed. Spite and venom dripped from the mental thoughts he sent back to Jared. "When I kill someone, they're supposed to stay dead." Shorn had always thought of his thoughts as a personal sanctum. His one way to escape it all. And now Jared came crashing in and had to bum around the place. Mikhail's mouth twisted, thoroughly unhappy. "Fine. It'll be our dirty little secret. If I so much as catch a whiff of you trying to mess around in there, then I start blabbing. Maybe I'll tell her that you're the ghost of some ancient Sith and we can exorcise you." He grinned to himself at that and proceeded to ignore Jared.

His focus returned to Spencer. Unlike Jared, Mikhail didn't have any inhibitions about watching, but when she struggled for the bra clip he couldn't help himself.

"Here, let me get that for you." Smirking inwardly, he flicked the arm of the teddy bear and undid the clip with telekinesis.

 

[Allyson Locke]

The hook of her bra unclasped and she caught it quickly especially after hearing the voice behind her. Looking up at the mirror which was opposite of the bed, she saw the man cuddling with her teddy bear. Blinking she was stunned only for a second, what came next was something he probably didn’t expect. Her eyes narrowed for a moment and with a flick of her wrist the bed lifted from the feet and flipped it upward slamming him against the wall if he didn’t move off the bed. Reaching back she clasped her bra back on and pulled on a t-shirt from her open drawer.

Spencer turned from the drawer and stared at the bed, her arms folded in front of her and she waited to see what the man would do. She had a few questions running through her head, mostly how the hell he got in, why he hasn’t talked to her in some time, and why he was there. Her face already flush from the work out, just grew redder as she realized he had snuck up on her. Fingers pressed into her forearms as she did her best to control her frustration with the man that was now either smashed between the wall and the bed or somewhere on the floor.

“As wonderful as it is to see you Mikhail, what is so hard about giving me a call and meeting me with me knowing of course? So what can I do for you?”

It was probably a good thing she didn’t see him reading the diary, Mikhail would have to worry about something other than dying. Also, she didn't pick up Jared at all, minus the weird feeling of familiarity that wasn't Mikhail floating round.

[member="Mikhail Shorn"] [member="Jared Ovmar"]

 

[Lord Ghoul]

WOOOMP!

The sound of Mikhail Shorn being slammed into the wall. The mattress fell back into place and Shorn bounced limply. He uttered a soft groan. He gingerly held a hand up to his nose. Ice blue eyes stared with a bit of shock and accusation at [member="Spencer Jacobs"].

"Ow!" he whined. "What was that?"

He scowled and continued to hold his nose, looking thoroughly grumpy. The reaction from Spencer had been unexpected. The Spencer he'd known would've jumped, or screamed in fright, or maybe both. Something was different about this woman. She no longer had that tinge of innocence which had once drawn him like a moth to the flame. Her lavender scent still drew him in, but not like before. Not when he'd loved her. Did he still love her? His eyes ran over her stern features and crossed arms. She looked commanding... even in panties and a t-shirt. Mikhail rubbed his nose and sat up.

"In case you hadn't noticed I'm not exactly the Fringe's favorite person right now." Kidnapping hostages to lure in the leader of the Protectorate and holding those hostages on a Fringe world tended to do that.

As he stared into Spencer's eyes he noticed that there was a flush to her features. Blush. Aha, so she wasn't completely in control of her emotions. He smirked, then winced. Ow. Damnit, Spencer. Anyone else who'd done that would be dead by now. But contrary to popular opinion, Shorn didn't kill those who were close to him. Not the ones he cared for.

With light footed ease, Shorn rose swiftly from the bed and stood in front of Spencer in a flash. He stared down into her hazel eyes and breathed in the lavender smell of her skin. He reached out a finger and traced it along her cheek.

"Maybe I just wanted to see you."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Mikhail had a way of making himself known in places that weren't always as welcoming to him as he thought. At least he knew that the Fringe weren't in his fan club after his stunt with the hostages to get the Lord Protector. She couldn't keep her stern look as he drew closer and the familiar pine smell filled her senses. Spencer caught her breath, mostly because Mikhail was the only one that has ever pushed himself this close to her and dared touch her knowing that Ashin, was probably down the hall. After his hand fell from her face, her features softened and smirked.

“Wanted to see me? You know you could have just called or messaged me. No need to sneak up – I say the word and you have some sort of protection – well except from me.”

Slipping from between the dresser and Mikhail, as much as she enjoyed his company the way she was dressed was no way appropriate for their meeting. The girl slipped towards the closet and pulled out a pair of shorts, which seemed to be the only thing that she was able to wear at the time since all of her clothing was in the wash. Pulling on the short athletic shorts, she ran her hands down her front side to straighten out her shirt. Feeling somewhat comfortable and in a bit more control she folded her arms in front of her chest.

“So maybe you wanted to see me? What's taken you so long? I feel like its been ages since we've seen each other...”

Catching herself, she remembered their last meeting. It had been during a dark time in Mikhail's moods and she was just coming back to the galaxy from her honeymoon with Ashin. An arm fell from her chest and crossed over her midsection, a finger lingered near her lips as she bit down softly on her knuckle.

“Its just been some time.”

[member="Mikhail Shorn"]

 

[Lord Ghoul]

He did not try to hide the spark of disappointment as he watched her retreat into the closet. However, when she came back out wearing athletic shorts that were barely a step up from panties, Shorn blinked lazily in that almost-wink of his. Spencer was an empath and Shorn had never been good with hiding his emotions. He didn't try to now. That fire within his chest still burnt bright, a towering flame of consuming love which would burn anything and anyone in order to protect her. Even himself. She knew how he felt about her. She just didn't care. In his mouth he could taste the bitterness of his heart, but even so Spencer's words brought accusation that bit into him with deep conviction. A spear of guilt rammed through him and his features became even more impassioned.

"I, back then...." He closed his eyes and breathed out. Back then he had been under the delusion that he was a returned celestial. A god. Someone had planted the idea in his head. He still didn't know who. Eyes the color of glaciers opened. "I thought I was someone I wasn't." He remembered the hateful words he had spit in her face, full of venom and spite. He remembered watching the look of hurt on the face of the only person in the galaxy who loved him. And he remembered feeling a cold, empty nothing. "I'm sorry, Spencer."

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Nodding was the only response she could muster at the moment. She wondered what he had come for, she doubted it was to apologize to her. The hand she bit down on while he spoke fell and hung abandoned at her side as she tried to keep herself together. She felt everything that stirred within him, every ounce of emotion he had for her. It was just as strong as it was back then, before he made her cry. The hand she had left abandoned made its way up towards her face, slowly her fingers laced through her blonde hair which was still somewhat wet from the shower. The strands clung slightly to her face, but she did her best to prevent that.

Letting silence fall between them, she nodded once more trying to find the words to say. She could say anything really – something that would break the silence and return them to the casual banter they constantly shared. Something was stopping her, but what? Finally the only thing she could say escaped her lips, “Its okay [member="Mikhail Shorn"]. As long as you're feeling better that's what important.” It was all she cold think of at the moment. Once more her hand played with the strands of wet blonde hair as she stood there trying to pursue more of the conversation. She suddenly felt naked in front of him and she blushed and pulled at the athletic shorts she wore. Moving towards her bed, she kept her eye on him. Spencer sat down and crossed her legs under her and rested an elbow on her knee. Hazel eyes with the soft hint of yellow tint stared back at him. The yellowish to her eyes never faded, only flaked along her iris, the taint of the dark side lingering inside of her.

A constant battle.

“Don't feel bad about it, just don't do it again. Though despite the outcome, I was happy that you were honest with me. So what can I do for you now that you've found your way into my bedroom. Really you're the third person to have seen this room – feeling special Shorn?” A smirk spread across her face as she knew that he would feel clever that he got into the room.

 

[Lord Ghoul]

"It's okay." The words were simple, not even really an "I forgive you," but Mikhail felt a rush of relief from his chest, as though he had been a tightly wound spring that someone had finally let loose. The coils of his souls stretched, unused to movement and testing their withered, emaciated muscles. Mikhail did feel better. Now. How many people had he slaughtered while wandering in the blackness of his lost heart? All the while trying to find a way to get back... here.

Mikhail arched an eyebrow at Spencer's comment, a suggestive smirk soon followed. She attempted humor and it worked. The game they played. He knew she was still lying to him. There was something there, between the two of them. She felt something more than what she said out loud. Ashin. Always Ashin. Shorn inhaled, smirk still on his features. For now, there was no Ashin. Just Mikhail. Just Spencer. Alone. How often had he wished for just the two of them without empires to build and destroy, without religious orders banging down their doors? How often had he wished for a moment like this? And now that he had it he knew how entirely false all his hopes were. Whatever she felt for him, she loved Ashin more.

It burned him. Intensely. Viciously. "I'd rather burn than feel nothing at all," he thought. Third person to see the room... it was a subtle reminder about exactly how "special" he was. He wished he was the only one to see the room. Ever. "Daydreaming again, Shorn?"

He plopped onto the bed, lying on his side and facing Spencer, one arm propping his head up. "Why yes, yes I am. The whole plan to get in here came to me in a dream. I was naked. You would have loved it."

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Smiling she shook her head, doing her best to stifle a laugh a hand moved and covered her lips. Once she regained complete control over her soft laughter, the hand moved and played with the ends of her blonde hair. In another time, this could have been how they spent their evenings. Spencer believed the Force returned souls to the mortal realm to relive life again. It was possible that in another lifetime, another era, that Mikhail and her were lovers or something more. Tilting her head, she sighed softly and figured it was just a possibility for her soul. In her heart, she knew Ashin was someone she couldn’t live a lifetime without. Shrugging off the philosophical bit from her mind, she finalized her choice with Ashin because there was an unexplainable attraction and connection.

“So you were naked? Now that I think of it, I’m utterly surprised that I didn’t find you using my teddy bear to hide your…” Her head nodded as she decided to not mention the unmentionables that would have been hidden by the small teddy bear. Shifting her body, she laid back on the pillows and stretched the length of the bed till her small toes curled. Returning from the stretch she looked over at Mikhail and then rolled over on her side. “So this dream of yours…I’m guessing it went nothing like this of course…possibly it went something like…this…?"

Moving to be on her stomach she tucked her knees under her and crawled the small distance between them. With her index finger she rested it on his lips as she moved closer and closer to his neck and to his ear lobe. Soft warm whispers escaped her lips as she smiled through it. “Too bad this isn’t a dream eh?” Sitting straight up she started to climb out of the bed and make her way towards her closet to find something a bit more fitting to wear than the shorts she quickly put on. “So have you destroyed any other Jedi Temples while you’ve been running around the galaxy?”

[member="Mikhail Shorn"]

 

[Lord Ghoul]

The beats of Mikhail's heart went on, a rising pace that threatened to tear from his chest, but his breath stopped short as soon as her finger touched his lips. The scent of lavender filled his senses and he lost himself in the depths of her eyes. For a moment, everything in the galaxy ceased to exist save her touch, her smell, and her face. Mikhail's expression froze still, like a bantha in the headlights. Spencer's breath tingled against his ear. His lungs wouldn't work. He didn't want them to work. He felt so close to her. So, so close, but in an instant she drew away and the moment shattered as he awoke from dream into the nightmare of life.

Nostrils flared. He exhaled long and hard, air rushing out. Mikhail could never contain his desires. He always acted on impulse. And right now everything in his body told him to take her, to have her, but he wouldn't. She didn't want that, didn't want him. He wanted her to the Maw and back, but not like this. All he wished for was her to return his feelings. "Is that so much to ask for?" Mikhail thought bitterly. "Am I so damned that I can't even taste happiness?"

He watched her get off the bed, a smile on his features though he felt no humor. "The Guardians of Peace and Justice? Nah. I've got other people to destroy. The Sith, mainly." Shorn lounged lazily, openly trying to get a better view into the closet. "But I think I could find time in my busy schedule to ravage you." Once a smile, now a smirk.

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Her hands ran over the hangers of clothing as she tried to find something pleasant, yet not as revealing as her work out clothing. [member="Mikhail Shorn"] had caught her off guard and her usual idea of spacer attire or even a traditional Jedi tunic seemed too far fetched. This was mostly because the clothing that she kept in her room was just for lounging or her time off with Ashin. Continue to flick through the shirts and pants, she nodded trying not to chuckle at Mikhail's comment about the Jedi.

“Ah so they've driven you to boredom?” She found a shirt and put it up against her body so she could measure the length of what it showed and what it hid. Hanging it back up she continued to look, still not looking at him though. “The Sith? I've heard rumors that they're starting to show up again. Its not like there was a sense of peace while they were gone. But the Republic did stop their lets destroy all dark things when they met the Fringe at the boarders.” Memories plagued her as she paused looking at a sweater with its neck cut slightly to make it less “choked”. Pulling it over her head, she shoved the sleeves up to her elbows and let the material hang off of slender frame. Finding a pair of dark blue pants she slipped them on over her shorts and rolled the legs up to the middle of her calf. As always, she was barefoot. A child of Dathomir through and through.

Leaning against the frame of her closet she shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Returning the smirk that Shorn had flashed her she chuckled. “I'll see if I can pencil you in. So what are your plans for the Sith – Throne Breaker?”

 

[Lord Ghoul]

The corner of his mouth twitched. "I'm going to wipe them out," he said casually, undercutting the arrogance of his words. Putting an end to an Order which had haunted the Jedi for eons. A small thing, that.

He took a deep breath, then pushed it all out through his nose. Mikhail met Spencer's eyes. "The truth is... I didn't come here to talk to you about that."

Those hazel eyes of hers watched him impishly. She enjoyed this, teasing him. He felt anger rising. No. He wouldn't do that, not now. He would say what he'd come here to say, then leave.

"I came here to tell you I'm done. I'm done with your teasing and your half-love. You claim you care about me, but that's all I've ever heard from you. Words. You saved my life once. I won't forget it. But whatever we had is over. You denied it and I kept trying to fuel the flames I thought were there. You let me." His eyes glistened with unspent tears, voice blisteringly impassioned. Accusing. Angry. Sad. All of these and more. "You kissed me. You tortured me with promises, 'if not for Ashin'. Well, I'm done with the way you string me along. I'm not your human kite, Spencer. And I won't let you fly me around anymore. I came to tell you goodbye."

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

Human kite? Stringing along? Mikhail Shorn had finally gone full circle with his world. Spencer blinked listening to him talk, she was trying to remember the invitation into her room that she had sent him and then realized he had come on his own accord. Not saying anything she let him finish and allowed silence to fall upon them. Her slender frame pushed off the door frame of her closet and her voice remained calm despite the redness in her face. Of course this was her second time being the punching bag for his words, the person that gets to bear the horrid words because he can't move on.

“You're right, you're not a human kite. I haven't been stringing you along Mikhail – if I remember right all those times there was more to the story. You invaded my mind back at the hospital after Anaya put me there. You visited me and I took your kindness as a friend then you showed me things, you kissed me and wanted me to return the feelings you knew I couldn't. I told you another time another place – if you would have just paid attention to me when we first met I'd be with you. Of course that's not good enough for you. This entire thing is your doing Mikhail.”

Stepping forward, a surge of Force energy swirled around her – control of emotions she couldn't hold it anymore. She was angry, frustrated, and hurt. His emotions just fueled what the young Empath was already feeling.

“You're tired? I'm tired of you being a puppy dog that when I actually give you something you take it and run with it. You come back and piss over everything. I'm tired of being your pincusion because you can't figure yourself out. I tried to help you, I tried to help ground you to keep you from getting yourself killed out there. I cared about you, but I regret ever seeing your face Mikhail Shorn. I didn't invite you into my room – you came of your own accord. A normal person would have either left me alone or send me a message to meet them in a civilized manner! I'm tired of being the person you blame for all your issues! I'm tired of feeling like I'm the one that caused you to hurt.”

The force continued to gather around her and in a sudden push the emotions and the fury of the darkside flowed within her once again a feeling she had fought for so long. The glint of yellow in her hazel eyes flashed towards Mikhail. “Then this is goodbye, but do your best not to come to me when you're falling apart again. I'm done with being the one you blame for everything. Now get the feth out of my room and off my planet.”

As quickly as her words cut off a wave of the Force shot forward towards [member="Mikhail Shorn"] aiming to throw him out of her bedroom window.

 

[Lord Ghoul]

The words cut to the quick. They savaged Mikhail. They tore him apart worse than any weapon could ever do. Sticks and stones.... what a lie. Words hurt. Words killed. And right now, Spencer's words were killing Shorn. But it was a death he wanted. Sharp, stinging blows continued to rain down on him. He listened without a word, silently taking the beating he deserved.

When she finished his spirit felt flayed raw, all his emotions bared for the galaxy to see. Pain. The pain of an ending. Endings always hurt the worst.

He didn't reply. He had nothing to say to her. And if he spoke, he was afraid of the words that might spill from his lips.

The blast of Force rippled toward him. She tried to strike him now?! Yellow suffused Mikhail's eyes as all the hate came pouring from his heart. The wave of energy surged at him, but he smacked it aside with a simple backhand.

"I never blamed you," he spat, the power emanating from him caused the room to quake, such was the height of his nigh uncontrollable telekinetic fury. At last the trembling lessened, though his arms still shook. The yellow slowly faded from his eyes. Mikhail Shorn resumed his facade, grabbing at flippancy and snark and wearing it about him, a cloak he pulled over to shield himself from the galaxy's prying eyes.

"But think what you want, Barbie."

With that, Shorn propelled himself from the room and out the window, wrapping himself in telekinesis and using the ability to lift himself up into the air and fly somewhere away from Spencer. Somewhere where she could not see his tears.

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

 

[Allyson Locke]

With that he was gone and the wind that whipped into her room nearly took her curtains down. It was a good thing she was tired and something held her back from using every ounce of her abilities with the Force. He hurt, she felt it, but wasn't that what he wanted? He wanted to hate her or something to stop whatever feelings he mustered for her. Possibly this was the healing she was trying to give him for so long. Closing her eyes she searched for the bond that they shared, two Forcers connecting through the Force. Her mind focused on it and pulled at the corners of her mind, her heart shattered when she felt the reliving snap of the bond shattering.


Her back leaned against the wall of her room, the wind blowing against her face drying the tears that lingered as she realized she had lost the second most important person in her life. Sliding she brought her knees to her chest and the people of Annaj felt the despair Spencer Jacobs conveyed through the Living Force.


[member="Mikhail Shorn"]