Critique This Character!

[Daniel Tresk]

So basically I'm planning for this character to be my magnum opus, the greatest character I've ever written on any site. EVER. With that in consideration, I need an outsider to look at my bio and be as ruthless as possible.

Now, just remember that this is still a WIP, so don't be too harsh, or I'll cry myself to sleep.

Here it is - http://starwarsrp.net/topic/63226-daniel-tresk/#entry941815

 

[Malachite the Shoki]

[member="Daniel Tresk"]

So far? Your writing makes me laugh. Y'know, out of entertainment.

 

[Daniel Tresk]

[member="Malachite the Shoki"]

Well, that was quick.

For a second, I was heartbroken. Then I was happy!

I CAN'T HANDLE THIS ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS

 

[Jyfo]

I'd say it's pretty solid! I love the picture

 

[Malachite the Shoki]

[member="Daniel Tresk"]

Yeah, that happened to me when I found out that people apparently like my writing...

 

[Daniel Tresk]

[member="Jyfo Draav"]

Thanks! Can anybody figure out what band the man in the pictures from? I have made multiple references to what band it is, so if you figure it out, you get a cookie!

[member="Malachite the Shoki"]

It truly is strange, because I always think to myself that my writing sucks compared to these amazing people, and when they say to me, "Hey, your writing is pretty damn good," I have a heart attack.

 

[Malachite the Shoki]

Thanks! Can anybody figure out what band the man in the pictures from? I have made multiple references to what band it is, so if you figure it out, you get a cookie!

I feel like if I were to google your character title, I'd find something I would recognize


I now understand your face claim perfectly.

 

[Daniel Tresk]

[member="Malachite the Shoki"]

Uh...That wouldn't lead to anything...

"CODE RED! WE'VE BEEN FOUND OUT!"

 

[lordmitmar]

[member="Daniel Tresk"]

The man is Patrick Stickles from Titus Andronicus
You're welcome :3

 

[Daniel Tresk]

[member="Mit Tuxaire"]

F*** YES SOMEBODY GOT IT

+@ and their new album have inspired the muse in me, as you can see in my signature.

 

[Daniel Tresk]

I feel like if I were to google your character title, I'd find something I would recognize


I now understand your face claim perfectly.

Oh? Why is my face claim so special now?

 

[Hailyn]

[member="Daniel Tresk"]
You state he is a skilled negotiator but not skilled with speaking, those two tend to contradict in terms of the context the two were mentioned in.

 

[Arctica]

True. But things can be a bit different when you, say, negotiate with a blaster......
[member="Darth Atrophia"]

 

[Daniel Tresk]

[member="Darth Atrophia"]

Good point. I'll edit that part.