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Azalyn Falconer vs Saran Drast

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Our combatants find themselves in a simple practice arena. There are no crowds of cheering spectators, and no obstacles either. The arena is free of any distractions. Today, there is only the fight.

The arena is circular, twenty meters wide. A waist-high duracrete barrier surrounds it. Being thrown out of the arena does not count as a loss, but leaving it voluntarily will be taken as surrender. It's reasonably well lit, with the lights adjusted so as not to shine in the fighters' eyes.

The floor is smooth dirt, packed tightly by centuries of feet treading the same ground. It's slightly uneven, but not enough to really throw off footing. Combatants need not worry about anything but the fight.

The fighters will enter from opposite sides. The fight will go on until either one or both fighters is dead or incapacitated, a fighter surrenders either verbally or by leaving the ring, or time runs out.

Good luck, and may the Force be with you.

[member="Azalyn Falconer"]
[member="Saran Drast"]
 
Azalyn walks into the arena with an imposing stride. She always makes a point of knowing her enemy and she knows that if she gives [member="Saran Drast"] even a moment too long she'll be overwhelmed with Force power and even if she is Force-sensitive, she doesn't know how to use it and is pretty powerless to resist it, except for her lightsaber-resistant armour. She stands tall and awaits her opponent.
 
Saran stepped into the ring, watching the woman on the other side carefully. You could tell a lot about a person by their stance. She seemed calm and ready. That was never a good sign. Calm usually meant a professional, and professional meant they probably knew how to counter a force user. Tilting her head to one side, and slipping the lightsaber into her hand, she smiled. Bending her knees enough so that she was ready to move, she drew up the force inside her. Letting it rip out of her hand in a blast of energy, the knight watched for any reaction. With nothing to stop it, a push like that could be nasty. Luckily for [member="Azalyn Falconer"], it also could be dodged by moving to either side.
 
Azalyn stepped calmly to one side - she wanted to conserve her energy the best she could - and took a throwing star from the lining of her jacket. The star was durasteel - it was a favourite weapon of hers. Lining up carefully, she flicked her wrist and sent it spinning towards the hilt of [member="Saran Drast"]'s lightsaber.
 
Saran watched carefully as her opponent moved. One advantage of Force sight was the ability to see everything clearly. As the shuriken spun through the air, she smiled, taking a sidestep very similar to the one her opponent had just preformed, and listening to the durasteel blade thunk into the duracrete plate behind it. Thrown weapons? she had at least expected a slugthrower.

This time, though, her move was different. yanking the extended hand back, she wrapped the force around [member="Azalyn Falconer"]'s ankles. Hopefully, she could get the taller woman on the ground and close the distance.
 
Azalyn dodged the move. It appeared that fighting long-distance would be too dangerous, so she pulled out a blaster and began to fire as she moved in. She knew that [member="Saran Drast"] would deflect every hot with her lightsaber, but it would keep her occupied long enough to unsheath her katana sword. She had gone out of her way to make it lightsaber resistant along with her armour before the battle, and she desperately hoped it would pay off. Standing tall, she swung the sword over her opponent's head.
 
Saran watched her opponent advance, activating the saber in her hand and deflecting the blasts to one side, she began to circle. Almost as soon as her opponent swung her arms upward to strike, Saran's right hand raised up to block, but she had timed it wrong, parrying the blade with the handle rather than her own weapon. The sword bit into the back of her hand, and pain shot through her mind. Gritting her teeth, the Miraluka called her shoto into her hand and stabbed into the place almost every armor left unprotected: the armpit. Hopefully, the blow would offbalance her opponent and give her a moment to recover.

[member="Azalyn Falconer"]
 
Azalyn allowed herself a small smile when her sword made contact with her hand, but she knew better than to get ahead of herself. Just as well - it seemed [member="Saran Drast"] knew about the weak link in most armour. She was right, and she twisted to try and evade the shot but she wasn't quite fast enough and the shoto stabbed below her shoulder. Even though she'd experienced battle wounds of all kinds before, it didn't make it any easier to deal with the pain. She switched her sword to the other hand and swung it recklessly: she wasn't trying to attack this time, just keep her opponent busy while she recovered so that Saran couldn't have the same luxury. Once she had swallowed the pain a few times, it was bearable again and so she began to fight properly.
 
So there was a weak point. Lovely. releasing the shoto and leaving the blade in her shoulder, Saran called the dropped handle of her lightsaber to her good hand, and activated it. [member="Azalyn Falconer"] was flailing now, and all Saran had to do was get out of her reach. Backpedaling, she blocked a swipe from her opponent and clenched her right hand as tight as she could. It hurt, but she could deal with the pain for now. A grimace formed on her face as the shoto began to pull back to her, attempting to cause as much damage to the shoulder as she could on the way out. Once it was back to her, she could mount a stronger defense.
 
Azalyn could see that [member="Saran Drast"] was gaining confidence. Mentally chiding herself, she switched her sword back to her good hand and lunged forward. She had been well trained in sword fighting and if she could avoid letting her opponent recover from her wound, she would have the upper hand. Ignoring the pain, she lunged for her right arm.
 
Due to lack of reply from [member="Saran Drast"] both in the duel and to PMs, [member="Azalyn Falconer"] will advance to the second round. I'll have a proper judgment up for you later on this evening or tomorrow.
 

Vrag

The Second Seal, broken.
Hi. I’m your friendly neighborhood Sith Lord, and I shall strive to deliver a fair judgement unto thy fight.

As stated by [member="Eralam"], [member="Azalyn Falconer"] wins. [member="Saran Drast"] forfeited the duel by failing to post.

However short, this fight still deserves an analysis, so here it is without further ado:

Saran

  • Clear, concise posts and a good amount of detail. They could certainly use some meat on the bones, but you’re off to an excellent start here.

  • You also went with the flow and took some hits like a champ, so kudos there.
    yanking the extended hand back, she wrapped the force around Azalyn Falconer's ankles.
    stabbed into the place almost every armor left unprotected: the armpit.

  • That right there is you calling hits, and that’s a big no-no in dueling (or, really, any type of cooperative roleplay). A simple change in wording here would fix your problem and save you a world of headache down the road. Try something like this instead:
    Yanking the extended hand back, she would attempt to wrap the force around [...]
    That way, you convey your intent without forcing the result on your writing partner, making them (and yourself) a much happier camper.

Azalyn

  • You did well, but your attacks as well as your defense still need a lot of work and detail.

    she swung the sword over her opponent's head.
  • Vague bits like these not only confuse your partner, but also expose you to exploits, if you happen to be fighting that sort of person. Replace them with detail and clear direction.

  • While sidestepping a Force Push the first time (given that you indicate your character has some Force sensitivity) is quite reasonable, but dodging the grab at your ankles was done with no explanation. These kinds of moves could cause a lot of friction between you and your writing partner, as they don’t give them anything to go on, not to mention that they come off as disrespectful to their effort. Always offer a solid reasoning as to how your character was capable of avoiding an attack. If you can’t come up with anything feasible, consider taking the hit instead.

  • What I’d also recommend is keeping better track of your weapons;
    she pulled out a blaster and began to fire as she moved in
    She switched her sword to the other hand
    It’s unclear here where the blaster disappears to, and without taking the time to holster it again, it would’ve made the katana hand-switch impossible.

  • she switched her sword back to her good hand and lunged forward
    Here’s where that detail you lack really starts to confuse the reader. Which hand is her good hand? Using terms like ‘left’ and ‘right’ makes things a lot less ambiguous, and therefore that much easier for your partner to reply to.

  • I’d also stress that at this point, your character is having a lightsaber slowly pulled out of their shoulder while attacking their opponent with that same arm. ‘Ignoring the pain’ isn’t going to cut it. Realistically, that shoulder would probably be pretty much useless by then, due to the joint being fried or simply slashed to pieces.

Overall, I’d recommend you both look into adding more detail to your posts, and stating in clear terms what hand/leg/appendage did what and where at what time. It’ll make it much easier to follow both for you and your writing partner, and clarity is paramount in this kind of competitive environment.
Secondly, consider timing (or tempo) when writing out your character’s actions. Generally, a good rule of thumb is to keep the ‘IC length’ of a duel post to about 3-5ish seconds. This can vary depending on the circumstance of course, but anything more than that will usually earn you a post-cut. Keep the amount of actions low and make them count instead.
Thirdly, (and yes, I know this is sci-fi and not realism) but the repercussions of getting hit with any kind of weapon are important as well. No need to be nitpicking about it to the very last bruise and laceration, but pain, shock and and mutilation are very much real for SW characters as well. And hey, writing out an agonized scream or dealing with a messed-up arm can open up entirely new worlds of creativity for you. Take damage in duels as an opportunity, especially so when in GBA. Unless you so choose, your fights here are by default non-canon, and having their arm cut off won’t affect your canon Jedi in the least. So let it go.
And that’s it for today! If you have any questions, concerns, or disagree with the ruling, my inbox is open.
 
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