Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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A Year In Review

Today marks the one year anniversary of me joining this community. A year of writing with the greatest folks around, my boys and girls in the First Order. Before I jump into the whole critique thing, I think it prudent to thank the people who gave me this start on this site, and whom I have come to call friends.

In no particular order, [member="Darth Metus"], [member="Natasi Fortan"], [member="Valessia Creed"], [member="Asharad Graush"], [member="Rolf Amsel"], [member="Alaric Kirchenhof"], [member="Kyrel Ren"], [member="Torian Pierce"], [member="Ara Ren"], [member="Samka Derith"] and [member="Aedan Miles"]. You guys are great. You, in particular you Natasi, helped me get my bearings on this site, and start off down this rabbit hole. You've all had to deal with my ungodly unfunny jokes, my incessant meming. My politicially incorrect humour and the general kark ups and mistakes found within my IC and OOC conduct. I would like to say, that despite all the mistakes, all the arguments and tantrums, that you have stood by me. And that is something that I feel that I cannot really properly express in words alone. I love you guys. I really do, and I want you to know that if anyone of you were to die, I'd be at your funeral in a heartbeat.

But now onto the important part. The review of my work in general. Over the past twelve months, I've really sunk my teeth into two characters proper. [member="Carlyle Rausgeber"] and [member="Rexus Wenck"]. Although I'd like to think these two characters are well written, the fact is is that I could suffer the Dunning-Kruger effect and need to get off of my high horse. So if you feel the need to, kark my pooddoo up.

Some samplings of Carlyle posts:

At a ceasefire.
Orbiting Mustafar.
Leading attacks.
Miscellaneous post.

Rexus samples:
Being an a-hole on Mustafar
NPC I made
Another NPC
More NPC's
My favourite Rexus post of all time

I'd love to hear your thoughts on my writing, me as a writer, and ways I can improve in both IC and OOCly.
 
skin, bone, and arrogance
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You've proved to be a valuable member of the First Order. I like you and I hope you keep on with us.

Do try to keep your foot out of your mouth, though, if you possibly can.
 
[member="True To Caesar"]

I don't think I have ever found someone who could write a better admiral. I have loved many of your interactions especially during the war that was fought over this past year. And when I see Christoph Waltz I will also see Carlyle as well. Keep up the good work, and dial down a bit on the poodoo posting as well, please. :)
 
I don't believe in sugar coating so I'm going to give it to you straight.

You show promise as a writer but it's overshadowed by your garbage attitude.

If you want people to respect you, you need to act respectably out of character. I don't know what your reputation is inside the First Order, but outside of that faction you are regarded as someone who people do not want to thread with because of an inhospitable ooc attitude and numerous complaints of godmodding.

I think that you could be an amazing contributor to the board in terms of OOC bonding, but you would need to work on seeing those outside the First Order as human beings rather than adversaries.

2cents.
 
Your writing and behaviour have improved markedly. However the latter has come from am exceedingly low bar and still needs work. You've been banned from main chat, I've nearly banned you from GA chat twice and I've seen you kicked from FO chat twice now I think. May your lessons in manners from Natasi continue.

I still see you devolve into writing toilet humour in your posts from time to time. Our first writing experience was you writing paragraphs about the turd your character was holding between his cheeks and it didn't impress me. Rausgeber has come on a great deal. The prose you write between your characters and NPCs can still sometimes feel a little forced, as if you're looking to get a laugh a little too hard.
 

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