A Chat

[J3C0]

Mierin had always liked dungeons.

Ever since she had been a girl, playing within her fathers palace she had always enjoyed the darker recesses, and indeed that love still hung true. As she wandered through the lower reaches of the Imperial Palace she felt a sense of peace extend over her, a smile forming on her face as she wandered into the prison and found her way to the cells there.

One of the guards stopped her, asking her for her lightsaber and anything else dangerous. She peered at him, a simple even stare that made him take a step back.

With her things still upon her person Mierin passed the checkpoint and entered the cell area of the Imperial Palace, where captured Jedi and other important beings were kept. Rounding corner after maze like corner Mierin made her way to one cell in particular. It was unassuming, and utterly the same as every other cell. The only difference was its occupant.

The woman inside had asked for a chat.

That in it of itself was rather strange when it came to Jedi, the ones that they had captured usually remained starkly silent, answering only with 'you bloody Sith all deserve to die'. When asked anything, this one however, wanted to talk.

Stopping before the cell Mierin keyed in the command codes, and the door slowly slid open to reveal [member="Avalore Eden"].

 

[Avalore Eden]

These weren't exactly cushy arrangements that Avalore had been dealt. It was, for lack of creative terms, extremely Sith...y.

Dark. Murkey. Creepy. Uncomfortable. High-techy. Metal bed attached to the wall. Laser door. Grated floors. Picture, if you will, the cells from the Death Star Movie (AKA Star Wars: A New Hope THANKS CHRIS) and there you have it. All-in-all totally appropriate considering the ruling darkside regime.

...was that a womprat? Feth, those things were still running loose?

Why do all her bad decisions come back to haunt her?

What happened to Jannik and Maria and Turin and Turak?

Were they alive? Were they being tortured? Why were they being kept here?

Maybe they were in a cell next door - Avalore thought to yell, but she remembered that they, too, had suffered from burst eardrums. They'd never hear her.

Avalore jumped at the sudden movement to her right and the disappearance of the laser door. Somebody was standing there. She quickly moved to sit up on the very uncomfortable bed, wincing as the world painfully spun around her and wobbled back and forth for several long, nauseating moments.

"Hih," she said, her voice awkward from the inability to actually hear herself speak, "sorr-ee, I didn' think eneewun would come..." she looked at her feet awkwardly, "I can't heawh anythink."

 

[J3C0]

[member="Avalore Eden"]
Mierin blinked at the young woman for a moment, then nodded her head in understanding.

She had been warned about this before coming down here, and had been given something in order to facilitate it. Of course they had attempted to heal the woman, but eardrums were notoriously difficult to fix even in this age, one couldn't just cram bacta into the ear canal after all. From behind her back Darth Mierin pulled out a small datapad.

The thing was entirely empty except for a single application, a text to voice system that would allow her to type on the datapad, and have it speak for her.

“It will not be a problem.” Mierin projected her voice into the young womans mind, an ability shown to her by the children she tended to. It was an interesting thing, something that in her day and age had been completely unheard of. The realm of the mind had not been explored in the Old Empire, and to find this new path in the force had been...startling to say the least.

She offered the datapad to the young woman, waiting for her to take it with a stern expression.

 

[Avalore Eden]

Oh good grief, another mind talker.

Avalore grimaced. She would never be able to shake that intrusive, naked feeling of someone in your mind. Apparently it was commonplace too, but despite many attempts to train her she'd proven completely incapable of what was called Force Telepathy. She wasn't sure if she was spurned by the fact that nearly everyone and their Force-impaired uncles could do it but her, or that they seemed to do it so flippantly and she had no way of protecting herself from it's ...side effects.

As if invading someone's thoughts wasn't rude enough. They didn't even knock.

Frowning, the Jedi Healer looked up to the dark woman and tentatively took the datapad. Recalling it to her lap, she took a deep, shuddering breath, suddenly feeling very cold.

Avalore stared blankly at the datapad.

....


What do you say to your captors? Hi, my name is Avalore. Please let me go? She bit at her lips, frown deepening as slowly her fingers moved to type.

My name is Avalore. Why am I being kept here?

 

[J3C0]

Darth Mierin blinked slightly, as if the question confused her.

“You were captured.” Mierin projected as though that was enough explanation in it of itself. When she thought for a moment she realized the girl very likely meant the question in a much more exacting way. She wanted to know why she was still alive, why she wasn't being tortured, and why she was not yet returned to her brothers and sisters.

The Sith Pureblood waited for a moment.

“Shara ordered you not to be harmed, and thus you are not to be tortured or killed.” She frowned at her, as if this was some great travesty. “You are being kept here, because we have yet to decide what to do with you.”

It had only been a short time since Empress Teta after all, and converting Jedi without a little bit of pain was not Mierins forte.

 

[Avalore Eden]

Avalore wasn't aware her frown could get any deeper, but the woman's response not only disturbed her from the simple fact that she was speaking long sentences to her mind, but for the very nature of the answer. Now, she really didn't know much about the Sith aside from the very sophomoric grapevine of the Jedi. In her time spent amongst the Council she'd come to realize that there were far too split on its views and beliefs to truly believe everything they told her.

But it seemed the whole rumor mill on the wanton torture and murder wasn't far off. Even if it wasn't happening to her, right now, it had still been mentioned.

Looking back to the datapad she contemplated her next question.

What happened to the others?

 

[J3C0]

“They like you remain unharmed.” Mierin pressed into the womans mind, assuming that was what she was really asking about. “They are scattered throughout this facility, and others.”

Keeping Jedi close together was never a good idea, in fact to keep things more “safe” the prisoners that surrounded Avalores cell were actually quite Anti-Jedi. Well, mostly anti-everything. One was a Serial Killer that had plagued Coruscant for some time, and the other was a Bounty Hunter known for hunting force users. Neither of them would aid Avalore in her escape, and were in fact more inclined to end her life were the cells to shut down.

Mierin didn't mention this of course, not seeing the point in it.

“Why did you not resist?” She asked her own question this time. Curiosity got the better of her. In her age, when the Republic had tried to capture her she had sacrificed thousands of lives and killed members of her own crew in order to escape.

Surrender was something she had never contemplated.

 

[Avalore Eden]

The wincing at the voice in her mind did not abate. It was like constant static shock, like a severe case of jitters that wouldn't go away. Avalore withdrew from it, curling her arms around her torso, dropping her eyes from the woman that stood before her. Why did she not resist? Because Diana had taught her to be smart, not fool-hardy? Because she was afraid of death? Because she couldn't risk putting her team mates lives at stake over her own pride?

Because she was a terrible Jedi?

I do not know, the datapad answered finally, I was afraid.

 

[J3C0]

[member="Avalore Eden"]
Mierin blinked for a second, studying the girl in surprise.

Fear. It wasn't a very Jedi emotion. They were not supposed to feel fear, not supposed to feel anything. Fear led to anger, and anger led to hate, and of course hate led to the darkside. The Crimson Pureblood smiled slightly, taking a step closer to Avalore. Her entire bearing changed in an instant, she went from hostile, to friendly. From intimidation, to motherly.

“Fear is natural. It is a base part of sentience.” Her words began to swirl within the air, mixed with a potent weave of the force. “It is part of what drives us, pushes us.”

It began.

 

[Avalore Eden]

Avalore was quite aware that fear was not a thing amongst the Jedi, but she'd seen plenty of it. Fear, hurt, pain, anger. It's what made working with the Council so difficult at times. The whole do what I say, not what I do method behind their teachings was confusing at the very least, not to mention frustrating. It was perhaps why she enjoyed her time with Diana so much. Diana had been kind, honest, and forthcoming. She didn't sugar coat things, didn't dumb things down. She told it like it was, and Avalore could appreciate that after everything she'd been through in the last year.

Don't Sith see fear as a weakness? Don't you pray on fear? the datapad asked after several moments of silence. Avalore couldn't help but remember her run in with Darth Sidian during her first trip to Coruscant. The Sith Master had used Force Fear on her, awakening and strengthening Ava's fear of fire. She remembered it vividly - sometimes she still had nightmares about it, too.

 

[J3C0]

“Some.” Mierin said honestly. “Though others use it as a tool.”

That was simple truth in fact. Sith liked to brag that they held no fears and the only emotions they felt were anger and rage, but it was not so. The Sith philosophy was utilizing emotion to gain power, fear was one of those emotions. It was a lesser one of course, and more often than not it was channeled into rage and anger rather than kept, but it was a tool like any other.

“Fear is a motivator. It is something to drive you past a tipping point. It is something to keep you alive.” Her words were once again motherly, motivating, as though she were teaching Avalore something.
[member="Avalore Eden"]

 

[Avalore Eden]

Small wonder some of the Jedi Masters have lived as long as they have then...

Avalore snorted softly. It was a bleak outlook on her fellow lightsiders, but she wasn't feeling especially warm or appreciative at the moment. Nor was she feeling particularly spiteful. Her mind was heavy and weary with sadness, loneliness, helplessness. She sat in silence for a long while then, mulling over her situation.

Why was it you looked the ugliest while trying to suppress emotion? She hung her head to hide the grimace and the tears beading in her eyes. With that tumult swimming in her head, it was impossible to think clearly. The reason for asking someone here to speak had escaped her completely - her purpose for this entire conversation gone with her pride.

She wanted to ask if she would ever go home, but then Avalore couldn't remember where home was anymore. Was it back on Corellia where all the bones and dust and memories of the family she'd lost remained? Was it at the Jedi Temple where she was sniffed at and scorned for the choices she'd made before finding the Lightside? Was it Cato Neimoidia where Diana's lightsaber hilts hung proudly on the walls within the entrance of her temple? Every one of those places did nothing but bring up the hurt - something she'd spent a long time burying beneath her humor.

Thank you, she typed finally, for talking to me. I apologize for wasting your time. I was lonely.

 

[J3C0]

[member="Avalore Eden"]
Mierin eyed the girl, her face suddenly becoming soft. There was no pity in her of course, no emotion that actually felt for the girl, but she saw an opportunity to manipulate. To take this girl and twist her mind, if only slightly.

“Lonely?” Mierin inquired, her voice soft and warm as mothers milk. “Are you so used to being surrounded by the companionship of your fellow Jedi that even a few days within these walls drives you to such things?”

There was no mockery in her tone, simply a question, as though she could not understand the sentiment.

In truth Mierin could not. She cared for the members of the One Sith, but not in anyway that really mattered. She cared for them as tools, as people that did the bidding of the Dark Lord, as people that ensured her master would have his way. She would never miss them when they were gone, would never cry if they never returned.

 

[Avalore Eden]

Drives her to ... such things?

Avalore looked up again, staring at the woman through the mist in her gaze. What, was being social now a standard of crazy? Such things? She didn't quite understand. It wasn't as though Avalore thought of the Jedi as her friends, but certainly they'd never been awful to her. The many tutors and other Padawans, though judgmental at times in accordance to her pregnancy predicament, had generally been quite friendly. She'd never been a person who spent much time alone. She'd always been surrounded by family and friends... so long as they lived.

Perhaps in the last few months she'd been more lonely than she thought, but she'd also taken to living away from the bulk of the Jedi, with naught but her Master and, for a time, her body guard for company.

She frowned.

I'm not used to being alone.

 

[J3C0]

Mierin tilted her head to the side slightly, studying the girl.

“Are you not sent out alone?” Mierin asked as though the concept of always being with others startled her. Now she was not manipulating, she was simply perplexed. The idea of always having someone nearby frightened her in a way. The Sith Pureblood like the rest of her species was by her own nature an independent creature, she needed to be by herself.

She kept questioning. “Do you not wish to simply...wander off?”

That had always been her compulsion as a child. She had no idea how old Avalore was, though she guessed mid twenties. By that age Mierin had already been a full fledged pain in the ass for her father, and more often than not she had ditched her guards and had explored the wilds of Athiss rather than stay at home on her own.

 

[Avalore Eden]

She shook her head.

I'm a Healer. Just a Healer.

Didn't she understand? You don't send Healers anywhere without supervision or a guard. She didn't fight. She couldn't even turn on a lightsaber without being absurdly afraid of it. The whole molten-hot blade lead back to the fear of fire - not even Diana had been capable of breaking her of it. So why not use a sword? Why on earth would a Healer need a sword? A scalple she could deal with, and had used at one time or another, but she wasn't a Doctor or a Surgeon. Just a nobody Healer who could perform mundane little miracles on non-serious injuries.

How the feth did she become a full-fledged Knight?

What in the blazes was Diana thinking - giving her the ability to train others?

Avalore's fingers hovered over the datapad, incapable of producing one solid thought to follow up with. There was too much to say and she couldn't figure out what was most important.

She settled on a sigh, wiped at her face with her sleeve, and typed in: No. Only while I was pregnant did I ever want to be alone.

Conflabbed, this whole being deaf thing sucked.

 

[J3C0]

A Healer? What a novel concept. The Sith had healers of course, doctors and surgeons and the like, but none of their force users were capable of healing without some sort of sacrifice of life, either on their part or someone else. She had never heard of a Sith healing others without causing some sort of pain or sacrifice, she doubted the same held true for the Jedi.

The next words made her eyebrows raise.

The thought of pregnancy made the Sith Purebloods spine tingle. The idea of a parasite growing inside her for many months feeding off of her and making her weaker? Yeah, that wasn't something she ever wanted.

“You have a child?” Mierin asked curiously, her voice once again impassive.

They would circle back to the healer thing later.

 

[Avalore Eden]

Yes.

Avalore didn't think it odd that the Sith took an immediate curiosity to her purported child. But, she did have to stop and reassess something.

No.

It's complicated. She frowned, mildly perturbed that she had immediately gone for the answer only a mother would have given. She didn't have a child - she'd given it up the day she learned she was pregnant. It was never hers, it had always belonged to someone else. Now it belonged to a man and his wife at the other end of the galaxy.

I gave it away.

 

[J3C0]

[member="Avalore Eden"]
Well she could certainly understand that impulse, but it seemed a strange thing for a Jedi to do, especially a healer.

As far as she was aware healers were people who were driven to take care of people, so would not having a child be the perfect thing for them? The Sith Pureblood frowned slightly, perhaps she was stereotyping the Jedi just a bit, or perhaps this girl had some more deep seeded issues that she needed to talk about.

“Why?” The Pureblood asked.

 

[Avalore Eden]

Because I owe my life and her's to the Jedi.

They had saved them from certain death more than several times now. If it hadn't been for their efforts they never would have made it this far. Likely little McPuff might never have seen the light of day.

But I cannot be a good mother and a good Jedi at the same time. I had to make a choice and I was never meant to be a mother.